Thanksgiving Reflections - 2017

It has been ten years since my first Thanksgiving post.  I want to say "Thank you" to my readers who have been along with me for all those years. Much has changed in the last decade.  I met my husband, I reconciled with my children, I lost my parents (actually, my dad passed away eleven years ago), and I gained five grandchildren. I also have become fully comfortable with who I am.  It seems with each passing Thanksgiving, however, that even as I remember all the good in my life I think more and more about those who are no longer with me: grandparents, parents, my sister, and many others - I learned this past week that a friend from my magical teen years at Brantingham Lake left us.   The top image in a photo of a pencil drawing of my parents home of 30 years in Virginia Beach where we had so many Thanksgiving.  It was a Christmas gift to them and was done by a local artist based on a photo that we gave her.  When my mother passed away, the framed drawing came back to me.  It now hangs adjacent to photos of my parents on their wedding day. 

On a happier note and looking forward, the husband and I are hosting one of his nieces and her husband (they have hosted us in the past) and four friends )the table is set as shown above.   We will be joined by our niece's daughter and her husband and new baby for dessert along with another couple.  I've already baked three pies - my grandmother's pumpkin pie recipe, pecan and an apple/raspberry pie.  The husband has been busy as well.  It should be a fun afternoon.  On Saturday we will get together with my two daughter and the five grandchildren - it will be another fun time that we are looking forward to.

I wish a Happy Thanksgiving to all my Facebook friends and my readers who celebrate the holiday -  thanks for visiting the blog.  May all enjoy this special day of family and friends.

Michael-in-Norfolk: Soaring Readership in Russia

The darker the green, the higher the volume of readers

I suspect some American readers may think my coverage and thoughts on Donald Trump - and what I will confess is the strong hope that the Comey firing will invigorate the Russiagate investigation and lead ultimately to Trump and Pence's impeachment - or better yet, conviction of treason - is too much.  But there's one audience that seemingly cannot get enough discussion on the topic:  Russian readers.  Over the last week, Russian readership has soared and as of this morning is considerably more than twice that in the USA.  In the 10 year history of this blog, I have never seen foreign readership at this level even from France, my usual highest foreign readership base.  I'd love to hear from some of the Russian readers what is drawing them to this blog and their perspective on the situation.    

Discuss Trump and Treason and Russian Readership Soars

UPDATED:  9:52 PM EDT - I checked the reader countries of origin and Russia is now almost TWICE that of the United States of America.

I use the blogger platform for this blog which among other things allows one to see the sources of visitors to the blog.  One thing that I have noted is that when I look at Trump, Putin, possible collusion and treason, the number of readers from Russia soars.  At the moment it is 51% higher than the number of readers from the USA - which is generally the highest by far.  Interesting coincidence?

Russian Blog Readership Soars

As noted previously, my largest readership is usually from America with a consider gap between USA readership and the next closest country (usually France). Over the past week, this has changed and my largest readership is from Russia.  I can only assume that there is interest in (i) all the Russian money funneled to Der Trumpenführer by Russian oligarchs and crime bosses and (ii) whether Trump and his henchmen will be exposed as traitors.   What do readers think?

Russian Readership Soars

Thanks to the blogger template I use for this blog, I can track traffic from around the world.  As in the past, when I write about Trump, Putin and treason, the level of Russian readership soars.  Indeed, during the last week, readership from Russia almost equals the level of that from the USA.  Always reliable France comes in in third place (it is usually in second place).  The UK and Germany round out the top 5 countries.  Funny how trashing Trump plays well in Russia.    I guess I need to keep it up. :)

Russian Readership Surges Again

As an interesting side note, traffic to this blog from Russia has soared again. I wonder what the attractions is - not.  Normally, after the USA, which is always the highest in readership, France takes second place in the number of readers, followed by other western European countries.  At the moment, however, Russia is a close second to USA readership.  Bizarrely a few weeks ago, Russian readership actually exceed that for the USA.  It seems comments and stories about Trump/Putin ties and possible treason on the part of Der Trumpenführer is of high interest in Russia.   

My Russian Readership Soars

I do not usually pay too much attention to where my readers come from, but typically the highest number by a factor of 5 come from the United States.  France is usually the second largest audience. That is until now.  I just happened to check the sources of traffic and during the last week or so, readership from Russia has been more than five times the volume from the United States.   I guess all my posts about Trump being Putin's stooge and Russian intelligence hacking the DNC, etc., make for a popular topic in Russia.  I will let you all know how long the trend continues. :-)

Paris Bound - Posting

The husband and I leave with our friends for Paris today.  As such, posting will likely not resume until sometime tomorrow evening Paris time.  Our group heads to the airport early this afternoon and I am largely packed and set to go, although I will go to the office this morning for a few hours.  As is my custom, I will post about our travels and whatever else strikes my fancy over the coming week.  As I have said before, we'd love to hear from French readers - after the USA, of late France is the second highest country with page views - and perhaps meet up with some of you in Paris. 

My New Career Path

It was a crazy and chaotic weekend as I closed down my law firm and move furniture and computers to the new firm offices.  I am hopefully that once the chaos of the move and the attendant computer/IT issues are fully sorted out that things will fall into a calmer and more business focused atmosphere.  It was difficult to tell my subtenants that they will need to negotiate with the landlord - who hopefully will not be an ass - for there continued use of the space after June 30, 2014, the date through which my law firm will pay rent and utilities.

Going forward, I am excited about being able to work more closer to home and not have to run the gauntlet of the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel daily.  For those looking for me, my new work contact information is as follows:

Dillon Law Group, PLC
2809 South Lynnhaven Road, Suite 160
Virginia Beach, VA 23452
(757) 962-4796
mhamar@dillonlawgrp.com
www.dillonlawgrp.com
*Licensed in VA, TX & AL

Offices:
2809 South Lynnhaven Road, Suite 160
Virginia Beach, VA 23452
(757) 962-4796

11815 Fountain Way, Suite 300
Newport News, Virginia 23606
(757) 926-5255

As noted before, it has been very nice to experience the manner in which Liberty Title & Escrow is fully LGBT accepting - something which is a far cry from the local law firm that forced me out a decade ago for being gay.

With operations in 31 states, Liberty Title greatly expands my ability to serve clients, both here in Virginia and elsewhere.  I hope readers will feel free to contact me for advice and/or services not that I am with a firm with an extensive national reach.

Headed to Nassau on Sunday

I suspect that it will not be as upscale as the cruise of the Western Mediterranean that the boyfriend and I did last year at this time on Royal Caribbean, but on Sunday we sail out of Norfolk headed to Nassau in the Bahamas aboard the Carnival Glory (pictured above).  Booking through BJ's Travel the price made the cruise too good to pass up (the over 55 discount made the deal even sweeter).  I suspect that there may be local and other readers of this blog on board and, if that's the case, I hope folks will touch base with me.  Nothing would be more fun than to get together for drinks or an evening in the ship's dance club or one of the other bars.

Since I have to stay in contact with my law firm, I will be using satellite Internet while on board and I will be doing some blog posting over the six days that we are on board ship.   Needless to say, unless something really gets me riled up, the volume of post will likely be reduced.  I will be posting some photos through out the trip.

Fortunately, we have the Obama campaign staffer that we are housing through election day to house sit for us and keep an eye on things while we are gone. And since we sail right from Norfolk, it will be a simple drive to Norfolk and my daughter or son-in-law will simply drop us at the cruise terminal  It can't be much easier.

In any event, it should be a welcomed get away.  Again, I am serious about the offer that if there are any blog readers going on the cruise, we'd love to get together and chat in person.  Drop me an e-mail or leave a comment.

Hurricane Irene - 8-27-11- Morning Reflections

The heavy rains have already started and woke me during the night. The boyfriend had to go out into it to move the Expedition up the street to friends' home on higher ground. This morning we have to complete preparing the first floor for the possible failure of the flood doors to keep all the water out in the event we get the storm surge being predicted. That means moving everything out of the lower shelves of the pantry closets, the lower kitchen cabinets, a closet where the boyfriend a/k/a "Martha Stewart" keeps his candle sticks, large platters and other items to make him a fabulous dinner party host. Likewise emptying the lower two shelves of the three floor to ceiling china cabinets. Despite all these efforts, we hope that the worse will not happen.

One thing that local readers need to check out is their hurricane deductibles on their home owners policies. Deductibles can range from 1 to 5% of the policy's face value. It can be a shocker and could leave many with a significant out of pocket outlay should they experience major damage. One other note, if you have damage, call your insurance agent - not your attorney. All I can do is tell you, call your insurance company! Here are some highlights from a Virginian Pilot piece on this issue:

Hurricane damage could cost you more these days, thanks to hurricane and windstorm deductibles that have become part of most policies in Hampton Roads and coastal North Carolina.

They require a homeowner to pay for part of any hurricane damage before their regular coverage kicks in. The deductibles typically range from 1 to 5 percent of a home's insured value. If a home has $200,000 of coverage and a windstorm or hurricane deductible of 5 percent, a policyholder must pay for the first $10,000 of the claim.

"Families will have to dig deeper into their pockets because insurers have been steadily increasing hurricane wind coverage deductibles and imposing other policy limitations," J. Robert Hunter, director of insurance for the Consumer Federation of America, said in a statement.

"Once your claim is reported, be sure to get your claim number and write it down," Hunter said. Also, start a notebook to document your contacts with the insurance company with the date, time and a brief description of the exchange, he said.

Several insurers, including State Farm, Nationwide, Allstate and USAA, have already notified policyholders with automated phone messages and email of ways to file any hurricane-related claims. USAA, which provides homeowners and auto coverage to members of the military, military retirees and their family members, is encouraging its policyholders to file claims via their mobile devices.

Again, thank you to readers who have been following events. The blog is setting records in terms of traffic. Knowing you all are out there is comforting. Sounds crazy, I know, but its true.

Kitty Lee Thomas Handmade Marshmallows To Debut at Robicelli's July 23

Back in May after one of my nieces' wedding I mentioned my late sister's daughter who lives in New York City and who decided to walk away from a promising career in banking to pursue her real love: cooking and baking - something she clearly inherited from my sister. Back at the first of the year she finished her training at The French Culinary Institute. Now, Zagat Buzz - New York has a story on my niece's debut of her new gourmet handmade marshmallows at the Dekalb Market in Brooklyn this weekend. It goes without saying that we are extremely proud of Kristin and wish her much success in this new endeavor. Here are some story highlights:

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Good news for marshmallow lovers - Robicelli's sous chef Kristin Godburn has crafted a new line of gourmet handmade marshmallows for the sweets company called Kitty Lee Thomas Sweets that will debut at Dekalb Market on July 23.

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Expect flavor combos like: original almond, rocky road, banana fluffernut and coconut lime. Other flavors coming soon include: cookies n' cream, peanut fluffernut, mocha, blueberry cobbler, chocolate-caramel pecan and s'mores. Ok we're getting seriously hungry. Are gourmet marshmallows the next sweets craze a la cupcakes? Head down to Dekalb Market next Saturday and decide for yourself - online ordering will also be available soon (332 Flatbush Avenue Ext., Brooklyn).

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I hope readers in New York will check out Kitty Lee Thomas's goods (the name of the business comes from my late sister's nickname, my niece's middle name and my niece's late father).

My Readers - Thank You

There have truly been times in the past when the support - and I'd call it almost something akin to love - from readers has kept me going and carried me through some truly dark days. My readers have been my cyberspace lifeline. Sometimes the support comes in the form of an e-mail from Melbourne, Australia; other times it's an e-mail from the Loire Valley of France; or a kind e-mail from the state of Delaware. And other times it's in the form of a note or gift that makes writing this blog something special. Today at the office I received a sweet card and a gift from a reader named Stephen and his partner, Keelung, that brightened up my somewhat brooding mood that haunted me much of the day. Among other things, the author of the note said "keep the photos and the blog coming . . . your loyal subscribers." I will do my best to live up to expectations in the coming year.
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As I have noted before, writing a blog such as this one brings many things ranging from the bad - e.g., occasional death treats and rantings from Christianist extremists - to the sweet and caring such as today's note and gift. I hope my effort and venting here also helps others who are traveling a journey of coming out in mid life (it's frightening, but a number of folks ask for my advice and I hope my thoughts are of help) or other tribulations who may learn from my errors and missteps and hopefully find the happiness and self-acceptance we all seek.

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Thank you to each and every one of you - last month there were over 14,000 page visits. It means so very much to me. Most especially on days like today when I've needed a boost in spirits.

Massive Earthquake Strikes Chile

As many news outlets and blogs are reporting, Chile was hit by a massive 8.8 magnitude earthquake early today. My heart goes out to all those impacted by the earthquake and I send my best wishes and prayers to my readers in Chile and all those suffering from the devastation in Chile and facing the tsunami threat around the Pacific, including all my readers in eastern Australia. I have never experienced an earthquake - only numerous hurricanes - and cannot imagine how terrifying it must be when suddenly the ground begins to shake and buildings begin to sway and collapse. In addition to the extensive damage in Chile, a tsunami alert has been posted for the entire Pacific region, including the Hawaiian Islands. Here are some highlights from the BBC:

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The 8.8 quake caused widespread damage, destroying buildings, bridges and roads in many areas, including the capital where a chemical plant caught fire. Electricity, water and phone lines have been cut. Hundreds of thousands of people are believed to be affected. Several Pacific countries were hit by waves higher than usual after a tsunami was set off by the quake. In French Polynesia waves 6ft (1.8m) high swept ashore, but there were no immediate reports of damage.
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Television pictures showed a major bridge at Concepcion had collapsed into the Biobio river. Rescue teams are finding it difficult to reach Concepcion because of damage to infrastructure, national television reported.
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Damage to Santiago international airport's terminal will keep it closed for at least 72 hours, officials said. Flights are being diverted to Mendoza in Argentina. President Michelle Bachelet declared a "state of catastrophe" in affected areas and appealed for calm. She said: "We're doing everything we can with all the forces we have." Ms Bachelet said a "wave of large proportion" had affected the Juan Fernandez island group, reaching halfway into one inhabited area. Local media say that five people died there and several others are missing.
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Chile is highly vulnerable to earthquakes as it is situated on the Pacific "Rim of Fire", on the edge of the Pacific and South American plates. Chile suffered the biggest earthquake of the 20th century when a 9.5 magnitude quake struck the city of Valdivia in 1960, killing 1,655 people.

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As CNN is reporting, Hawaii is bracing for possible tsunami impact. Here are some highlights on events in Hawaii:
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The first waves of a tsunami from a massive earthquake in Chile have hit the Big Island of Hawaii, according to the Pacific Tsunami Warning Center. The increasing wave heights began shortly around 11:15 a.m. local time (4:15 p.m. EST), more than five hours after alarms sounded to warn of a tsunami caused by the Chile earthquake early Saturday, which killed at least 214 people. Residents scrambled to stock up on water and food Saturday as sirens blared across the islands ahead of a predicted tsunami, hours after an 8.8-magnitude earthquake struck Chile.
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The Pacific Tsunami Warning Center issued a tsunami warning, the highest level of a tsunami alert, for the entire Pacific region, including countries as far away as Russia, Japan and Australia. California and Alaska are under a tsunami advisory. Speaking Saturday afternoon in Washington, President Obama urged people in Hawaii, Guam and American Samoa, also under a tsunami warning, to prepare for the potential tsunami.

My Readers - A Sincere Thank You

From time to time readers overwhelm me with their kindness and thoughtfulness. The Internet has a strange ability to link one to others even though you have never met in person. Numerous times when I have needed a lift out of the blue has come an amazing e-mail message - perhaps from France or Australia - or some other evidence that someone finds meaning and/or comfort in my blogging endeavors Today was such a day when I opened an envelop at the office only to find a sweet card and a gift from Stephen, a reader in San Francisco. Stephen, be assured that I will apply your thoughtful donation to my debt elimination fund vis-a-vis my former wife. Please know that your card and thoughtfulness touched me greatly!!

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Blogging can become additive in many ways, but what always means the most is the contact and sense of connection I have with my supportive readers. Thank you one and all.

New Blog Comment Policy

It seems that on a regular basis that those who lack the courage of their own convictions like to post anonymous comments on this blog that either engage in personal attacks against me or seek to use the blog as a platform from which to put out their own opinions. Typically, theses anonymous views disagree with my views and opinions. And all the while the author(s) hide their identity. Therefore, I have taken the step of modifying the comment posting options on this blog. Going forward, to leave a comment, one will need to either have a Google account or utilize Open ID.

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I do not want to appear petulant, but asking that comment authors - especially those who seek to engage in personal attacks and/or threats - identify themselves in order to have a comment published is not asking too much.

Wintry Day Thoughts

I have found myself thinking a lot about the past today - maybe it's the weather and thoughts of growing up in Central New York. Winters were long and snowy, but summers in the Adirondacks were wonderful, though short. The photo above/right was taken at the summer house and was taken about 40 years ago - pictured are two of my sisters and one of their girlfriends friend (my sister that I lost in 2001 is at right and my other sister is at left). We spent countless hours water skiing, sailing, canoeing, and hanging out with our gang of lake friends (two such guy friends and major crushes are pictured in today's male beauty shots). They were magical days and I felt so much more comfortable at the lake than at home during the school year except when on the ski slopes where I gained status among school friends due to my skiing abilities. I still feel a sense of loss when I think of those times and that I wasted so much of my time worrying about hiding "my secret.
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But a sense of loss is something that anyone who has come out in mid-life likely knows well. At times in the years after I first came out, that sense of loss was overwhelming. All that I knew as my life was for the most part lost. And all too often it felt that I'd never find something to replace it. You do, however, rebuild a new life, even though at the time it doesn't seem possible and/or to occur quickly enough. At times the melancholy can be intense and it sometimes comes through in my writings here on the blog. But overall, I am making progress and I do have a new life that I once thought impossible. One reader commented as follows earlier in the weeks: "Going through your coming out journey IS associated with profound loss and now I appreciate the candid expressions of your pain, suffering and depression. As I have stayed with you, I have noted an increasing sense of healing on your part and less overall negativity with your current status, so kudos to you on that front. I thank him for sticking with me and being able to see the journey.
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I guess my advice for the day to those in a place I once found myself is that you need to stay the course. There ARE better days ahead. That doesn't mean that the experience will not have its emotional roller coaster moments. I am fortunate to have found "the one" who loves me unlike anyone in the past. He brightens my world and is my safe harbor. In turn, he feels that I understand him and understand his heart. Perhaps we are both lucky.
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On a different note, I have talked to family members in Charlottesville and all are well and currently with power, although it sounds like my sister's back yard has lost numerous trees that have broken off under the weight of snow, then freezing rain and then more snow. Here in Tidewater, there is a dusting of snow on the ground and pragmatically, we are watching the water level in the creek more than the snow accumulation since we have had 50+ mph winds blowing from the northeast and piling water into Hampton Roads' harbor.

Early Morning Melancholy

I'm not sure of the cause - the extreme financial stain is a constant backdrop that I know doesn't help matter - but I am struggling to get energized and put aside melancholy. Perhaps subconsciously, I'm worried about the Prop. 8 trial and how it all will end. Perhaps it's from knowing that the house is going to be all torn to Hell as we finally get started on port flood repairs (we finally settled with the insurance adjuster last Friday) and face 6 to 8 weeks of chaos. I should feel excited because we are headed for Key West on Friday morning - a break that both of us desperately need after packing up the first floor, dragging stuff to storage, and completing the salon renovations which we largely did ourselves. Perhaps it's the sense of loss I feel over my relationship - or lack thereof - with my two older children.

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I know that I am lucky to have the boyfriend in my life. Likewise my youngest daughter and a wide circle of friends who I believe are far more genuine than those I knew in my straight life. Maybe it's just the dreariness of winter here in southeast Virginia. While warm compared to many places, winter is often cloudy and the dampness on the coast produces a bone chilling effect that's worse than cold temperatures inland.

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I truly hope that the Key West visit will recharge me. I need it and, of course, will be blogging via the lap top. And I will naturally be in daily contact with my office. When in private legal practice, it is almost literally impossible to escape ones clients and their crises - whether real or perceived.

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Thank you dear readers for your continued support - this blog so often is my lifeline.

My Readers - Reader Profile of Carole

Every now and then I have done profiles on some of my readers with whom I feel a connect and who, of course, are willing to have themselves discussed on this blog. In the past, profiled individuals have often been other bloggers who are likewise readers. Today, I want to spotlight a very special woman who is a fierce straight ally in the struggle for full civil equality for all LGBT Americans. I first heard from Carole (pictured above left) back in the run up to the vote on Proposition 8 when she contacted me to remind me that not all Christians and Christian denominations are the enemies of gay Americans. In fact, she proudly advised me that her church and some 20+ other churches had taken out a full page ad in a California newspaper urging Californians to vote "No" on Proposition 8. Since then I have heard from her from time to time, particularly during the week of September 28th when I went into total melt down and found my self subject to a TDO. Carole spoke with both the boyfriend and me and her support and words of encouragement have meant a great deal. Here are a few highlights from how Carole describes herself:

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If you ever write a profile of your readers, it would be okay to refer to me as "carole, a retired United Methodist pastor in California, working for equality and hoping to bring change in the church." I have gifted, gay clergy friends who are afraid to come out, and it makes me sick that the church has been the culprit. I'm 68, straight, have been married to the same man for 45 years, have 2 adult kids and 3 young grandchildren. The picture I'm including is from our church web site, taken at my retirement celebration June 28, 2009.

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So this is a "coming out" for me... I realize that we need to be out and connected for support and for bringing fairness and justice to our communities... and in our churches. It's cool if I can be in touch with you. Admire you very much. I hope we'll stay in contact, and I hope you'll call me anytime.

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While Carole will not be in Washington, D.C., this coming Sunday for the NEM, she will be with all of us who are there in spirit. I thank her for all her words of support and her willingness to try to make a difference in a denomination that has not yet taken the gay affirming steps of the the United Church of Christ, Episcopal Church and ELCA. Carole is an example of the wonderful people that I have come to know through this blog. Carole, thank you for all you have done and continue to do. Oh, and Carole first came to my blog via a parishioner who mentioned it to her.

A Very Humbling and Beautiful Message

Since I began this blog in earnest back in April, 2007, it has become a significant part of my life and, yes, something very addictive. It helps me vent my frustrations - and at times rage - at the injustice faced by LGBT individuals around the world. In addition, it has opened up numerous friendships and activist opportunities that I value deeply. Fortunately, the boyfriend understands and accepts my daily ritual of posting a couple of things in the morning before breakfast and then an evening session online as we watch TV or he works on Salon paperwork while I satisfy my news junkie needs and work up three to four more posts. In the process of doing the blog, I rarely see myself as doing much of consequence for others. Then, out of the blue I get a message such as this one concerning "Monday Melt Down - Update" that blows me away:

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Michael: Please take care of yourself, and let others care for you who want to. how can the thousands of us who benefit from your blog help you? Let us know--we want to assist.

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As I continue to work, one day at a time, on my own coming out process, separation and pending divorce, and questioning whether there will ever be love and happiness in my life again, you and your wisdom, insights and experiences are what I have counted on almost everyday these past 14 months.

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Thank you for all you to for so many. You must "do" for yourself, too, my friend.

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Jon

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Jon, I want to thank you for the beautiful message. I am truly humbled by you kind words. Just be confident that you WILL find happiness and love. The journey may be difficult - I feel at times that my life is like an afternoon soap opera - but it can be done. That said, I DO want to make a difference and messages like yours help me see that there is meaning and perhaps a purpose for what I go through in my darkest hours.

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As for your question, what can readers do for me? Keep on reading the blog and tell others about it. In addition, share your own stories so that I can highlight them in a post or send me information on yourself and a photo so that I can get to know you - or even do a post profiling you under a "My Readers" posts. My view is that all of us gays are in this life adventure together and that the best thing we can do is support and provide understanding to one another. If we do not provide it to one another, no one else will. I can always be reached via e-mail at michaelinnorfolk@gmail.com.