More Saturday Male Beauty

Preacher’s Wife Found Guilty of Manslaughter

Yet further proof that the fundamentalist Christians are the ones obsessed with sex. In the trial of a Tennessee woman accused of of killing her husband, a church pastor, her defense was sexual abuse by her husband. MSNBC and CNN are reporting as follows:

SELMER, Tenn. - During the 10 years she was married to a handsome young preacher, Mary Winkler said she never told anyone about the bruises and the sexual humiliation she endured. But the preacher’s wife accused of killing her husband took the witness stand this week and dredged up every embarrassing detail, talking about the abuse in front of TV cameras and family members.

Winkler told jurors, in powerful testimony Wednesday, that her husband Matthew abused her physically and sexually. But she said she did not pull the trigger and the shotgun went off accidentally as she pointed it at him.

But Mary Winkler described nearly a decade of marital abuse when she took the witness stand on Wednesday. She said he struck and kicked her, "screamed and hollered" at her, criticized her, blamed her when things went wrong and made her watch pornography and wear "slutty" costumes for sex. She also said he forced her to submit to sex acts that made her uncomfortable.

A wig and a tall, white platform shoe were placed on the witness stand during her testimony. Blushing crimson and staring at the floor, she said her husband bought them for her to wear to get him in the mood for sex.

This guy makes us gays look pretty plain vanilla in comparison. I wonder what those sex acts were that made her uncomfortable. I truly feel sorry for this woman. Her husband apparently put on a false holy and righteous facade for the public and was a freak in private.

More Saturday Male Beauty

Survey Finds Evangelicals' Addiction to Internet Porn Increasing

Wow! Today's news is full of bad news for the Christianists who love to bash members of the LGBT community. Here's the results of a survey conducted by a Christian organization:

Bill Cooper, president of ChristiaNet.com, says there is an escalation in Internet pornography addiction among evangelicals. The survey found that 50 percent of men who regularly attend church are addicted to pornography, and 20 percent of female churchgoers are also addicted. The Internet has made it easier for people to get trapped in pornography's grip, Cooper explains.

"People ... in their homes, with no one supposedly even knowing it, [now] are out there dabbling in these kinds of things," he says. "I think as parents, as church leaders, we need to put precautions out there." Cooper has a couple of suggestions -- computers should be placed in open areas, and filtering software should be installed on the systems.

The survey also found that 40 percent of women admitted to being involved in sexual sin in the past year. In addition, 60 percent of women who answered the survey admitted to having significant struggles with lust. Cooper admits he found those results surprising.

No doubt we gays and lesbians will be blamed for this phenomenon. After all, according to the fundies, we caused 9-11.

Creationist Actor's Porno Past is 'Revealed'

You have to love those fundies. They just keep getting themselves involved with folks with porno sites in their previous careers. First it was corporal Matt Sanchez and Ann Coulter and now it's the new Creationist Museum:

(06-07) 17:50 PDT Columbus, Ohio (AP) --
The man who plays Adam in a video aired at a Bible-based creationist museum has led a different life outside the Garden of Eden, flaunting his sexual exploits online and modeling for a clothing line that promotes free love.

After learning about his activities Thursday, the Creation Museum in Kentucky pulled the 40-second video in which he appears. "We are currently investigating the veracity of these serious claims of his participation in projects that don't align with the biblical standards and moral code upon which the ministry was founded," Answers for Genesis spokesman Mark Looy said in a written statement.

The actor, Eric Linden, owns a graphic Web site called Bedroom Acrobat, where he has been pictured, smiling alongside a drag queen, in a T-shirt brandishing the site's sexually suggestive logo. The Web site, which has a network of members, allows users to post explicit stories and photos.

It could not happen to a better group.

Saturday Male Beauty

The Classic Leading Man Test

I took one of the online test that several of my blogger friends had taken and here are the results as to what type of leading man I am: Cary Grant

You scored 16% Tough, 14% Roguish, 28% Friendly, and 38% Charming!

You are the epitome of charm and style, the smooth operator who steals the show with your sophisticated wit and quiet confidence. You are able to catch any woman you want just by flashing that disarming smile. When you walk into a room, the women are instantly intrigued and even the men are impressed. When you find yourself in trouble, you are easily able to charm your way out of it, or convince others to help you. You're seen as dashing, suave and romantic. Your co-stars include Katharine Hepburn, Irene Dunne, and Joan Fontaine, stylish women who know a class act when they see it.

To take the test go here: http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=8651547809586515731

Gay Parenting - Graduation

With the divorce war still ranging, I was beginning to fear that I was not going to be invited to my youngest daughter's high school graduation (she is pictured at left). Last night she contacted me and said that not only was I invited, but so was Raymond, my b/f, and that she was mailing us admission tickets. She did suggest, however, that we not sit too close to her mother "for obvious reasons." It will be interesting if my estranged wife's parents will be there. At my son's graduation three years ago, they acted like I was invisible and never said a word to me.

Personally, I do not see what they gain by alienating me. I will always be my children's father and they run the risk that I could poison the kid's view of them (if I were that type of person, but I am not). I suspect too, that they are behind some of the viciousness of the divorce. I hope I am wrong, but I suspect not.

Back to my daughter. I am very proud of her and love her very much. She is smart, beautiful and a sweet person. Of any of the kids, she had it the most difficult with me coming out since teenage girls are so incredibly vicious and gossipy.

Final Friday Male Beauty

Don’t Ask, Don’t Translate

Today a great and fact based Op-Ed column appeared in the New York Times (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/06/08/opinion/08benjamin.html?_r=1&oref=slogin) authored by one of the Arabic speaking linguists who was fired under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." The column shows just how stupid this policy is and why it needs to be repealed. Here in the greater Norfolk area, thousands of gays in the military have to live in fear when all they want to do is serve in their country's military. Here's a portion of the column:

IMAGINE for a moment an American soldier deep in the Iraqi desert. His unit is about to head out when he receives a cable detailing an insurgent ambush right in his convoy’s path. With this information, he and his soldiers are now prepared for the danger that lies ahead.

Reports like these are regularly sent from military translators’ desks, providing critical, often life-saving intelligence to troops fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan. But the military has a desperate shortage of linguists trained to translate such invaluable information and convey it to the war zone.

The lack of qualified translators has been a pressing issue for some time — the Army had filled only half its authorized positions for Arabic translators in 2001. Cables went untranslated on Sept. 10 that might have prevented the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11. Today, the American Embassy in Baghdad has nearly 1,000 personnel, but only a handful of fluent Arabic speakers.

I was an Arabic translator. After joining the Navy in 2003, I attended the Defense Language Institute, graduated in the top 10 percent of my class and then spent two years giving our troops the critical translation services they desperately needed. I was ready to serve in Iraq.

But I never got to. In March, I was ousted from the Navy under the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which mandates dismissal if a service member is found to be gay.

If Bush and the GOP were really serious about the so-called "War on Terror," this policy would have been history years ago. But like so many things, Chimperator Bush claims one thing, and then acts the opposite of what common sense would dictate. The man is an idiot.

Join The fight Against Hate Crimes on June 20th in Norfolk, VA

While I have my issues with the Human Rights Campaign - e.g., too many celebrity fund raising dinners and not enough working in the trenches - I and others on the HRBOR Board are working with HRC to help secure letters to Virginia's U. S. Senators to vote for passage of the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act. Here's the text of fliers being sent out (I could not get the actual flier to upload) drafted by HRBOR's president. Any readers in the Norfolk area are urged to attend.

Where: Skip’s Bar - Hampton Blvd (at 39th St.)Norfolk, VA

The Human Rights Campaign is coming to town to empower fair minded citizens in Hampton Roads to help pass the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act. We can all have a voice, but we must use it for it to be effective. Show up at Skip’s Bar on June 20th anytime between 5pm and 9pm to write letters to your Senators. No one should live in fear that they will be targeted for who they are. Hate crimes terrorize an entire community, not just an individual person or family. Violent crimes based on sexual orientation and gender identity constitute a significant portion of reported Hate Crimes nationwide, but there is NO federal law that protects individuals from being targeted because of sexual orientation or gender identity.

I know at least five people right here in Hampton Roads who are victims of a sexual orientation related hate crime. How many do you know? I’m doing this to bring them justice. Join me in bringing our victimized loved ones the peace of mind they deserve by protecting generations to come.

More Friday Male Beauty

Horny GOP

I love it. The New York Post is reporting as follows:

June 8, 2007 -- Hustler magazine publisher Larry Flynt, days after posting a $1 million bounty for verifiable information on the sexual exploits of Washington pols, says he's been deluged - getting more than 200 leads, "80 percent of them on Republicans." "I'm not interested in exposing anyone's sex life," Flynt said in a telephone interview. "It's the hypocrisy I'm after."

The California-based porn king posted a full-page ad in The Washington Post on Sunday, offering $1 million for any "documented evidence of intimate relations with a Congressperson, Senator or other prominent officeholder," information that must be verified and published in Hustler.

For a party that claims to be the party of "family values," its members sure seem to have a problem controlling sex urges.

More Tall Ship Photos

More Friday Male Beauty

Gay Lawyers Come Out as Clients Demand More Diversity

Via the Washington Blade, I found this business news story in the Chicago Tribune (http://www.chicagotribune.com/business/chi-070607gay-lawyers-story,0,5667399.story?coll=chi-bizfront-hed)Gay. Would that there were progressive firms like some of the ones named in the article in this area. I guess we simply do not have any "elite firms" in the area:

"Today, elite law firms are behaving as good elites should," says Keith Wetmore, 50, a gay lawyer who is chairman of the San Francisco-based firm Morrison & Foerster LLP. "They've become culturally sensitive."The number of openly gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered lawyers increased by more than 50 percent from 2002 to 2006, according to the National Association for Law Placement.

The Washington-based nonprofit group compiles an annual directory of data from about 700 large U.S. law firms. They reported 1,733 openly gay lawyers in 2006, up from about 1,100 four years earlier. Openly gay lawyers represent 1.8 percent of associates and 1.1 percent of partners.

The increase is driven partly by corporate clients, says Jeff Morof, managing partner of Bryan Cave's Chicago office. More than a dozen have asked the firm for a commitment to diversity, which Bryan Cave defines as hiring without regard to race, religion, color, national origin, age, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability."

In the last few years, clients are paying a lot more attention to diversity," says Morof, 52, who has recruited gays and lesbians since 1999 for Bryan Cave, which has 735 lawyers. "We couldn't afford to go on doing business as usual."Many Fortune 500 companies now demand diversity. In 2003, Sara Lee Corp., of Downers Grove, Illinois, began tracking its law firms' hiring and promotion of women and minorities. General Counsel Roderick Palmore wrote a statement encouraging all U.S. law firms and corporate counsel to commit to diversity.

That "call to action" has been signed by more than 90 companies, including New York-based Verizon Communications Inc., the second-biggest U.S. phone company, and Bentonville, Arkansas-based Wal-Mart Stores Inc., the world's largest retailer.

Part of this area's problem is (1) a lack of large Fortune 500 companies based in the area, (2) the presence of Christianist like Pat Robertson and the kool-aid drinkers at Regent University, and (3) the homophobic military leadership in the area. Of course, it's a vicious cycle - the absence of diversity discourages progressive companies from moving to the area. Hopefully, HRBOR's creation and future efforts will help to better market the area.

Friday Male Beauty

Tall Ships Arrive

Above are photos of some of the tall ships that have arrived in Norfolk. I have always found sailing vessels to be works of art.

Student's Reality too Much for Granby High Principal

I previously posted about play banned from being performed at Norfolk's Granby High School. To make matters worse, the play was written and is produced by students at the school pictured in the photo above. As is all too typical of this area, there is a double standard of what can be forced on students who do not conform to Christianist religious views. Christian themed religious plays are fine, real world based plays are banned. Here's the report from one of the local TV stations:

The performances of a student-produced play at Granby High School in Norfolk have been banned because of the show's content. Cleo Atolin knows too well the fear and anxiety his character Cleo faces when he decides to tell his parents he's gay.

“I don't feel like I'm a mistake or think that I am a mistake. I'm gay,” said Atolin. “My parents are worried that I will regret it. I told them, I'm not going to regret, it because it’s something I need to do.” The 18-year-old wrote a monologue for the musical Pet Sounds, or the Life and Times of Nigel Zingraff and Petula Clark.

“We had a religious play, Godspell, but we can't have something that goes on really at school and how to handle those kinds of situations.” The musical also deals with the touchy issues of racism and self esteem.

Today's Virginian Pilot had this to say as well:

Bruce Hanson, Granby’s theater teacher, said he understands the administrators’ decision but feels hurt. “We can do a play where a man sleeps with his mother – 'Oedipus Rex.’ Mass murder – 'King Lear.’ Jews in a concentration camp – 'The Diary of Anne Frank,’ ” said Hanson, who is gay. “But we can’t have one about a boy coming out of the closet.” Students said they were disappointed but not surprised.

It is really difficult living in this area at times. I am going to make every effort to see the play and support our local students.

Final Thursday Male Beauty

Surgeon General Nominee's Homophobia Documented

Towleroad has a link to the complete anti-gay paper drafted by Dr. James W. Holsinger, Jr., Chimperator Bush's surgeon general nominee, andsubmitted to the United Methodist Church. For those who would like to read for themselves the trash put out by this nut case see: http://websrvr80il.audiovideoweb.com/il80web20037/ThinkProgress/2007/holsingerpaper.pdf

According to this bigot, gays are walking disease factories:

"From the perspective of pathology and pathophysiology, the varied sexual practices of homosexual men have resulted in a diverse and expanded concept of sexually transmitted disease and associated trauma. Four general groups of conditions may be encountered in homosexually active men: classical sexually transmitted diseases (gonorrhea, infections with chlamydia trachomatis, syphilis, herpes simplex infections, genital warts, pubic lice, scabies); enteric diseases (infections with hig gel la species, Campylobacter jejuni, Entamoeba histolytica, Giardia lamblia, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, hepatitis non-A, non-B, and cytomegalovirus); trauma (fecal incontinence, hemorrhoids, anal fissure, foreign bodies, rectosigmoid tears, allergic proctitis, penile edema, chemical sinusitis, inhaled nitrite burns, and sexual assault of the male patient); and the acquired immunodeficiency syndrome (“AIDS”)."

How this guy ever got to hold responsible positions when he is obviously a religious lunatic has to make one wonder why no one ever looked into his crazy beliefs before. As I asked previously, why didn't Bush just nominate a witch doctor??

More Thursday Male Beauty

Bush's Surgeon General Nominee - Obama Is Saying The Right Things

The firestorm over Chimperator Bush's nominee for Surgeon General is intensifying. Today, ABC News reported that President Bush's nominee for surgeon-general, Dr. James Holsinger, may be in trouble because of his "homophobic statements."

In 1991, Holsinger wrote a paper on "Pathophysiology of Male Homosexuality" for the United Methodist Church, in which he argued that homosexuality is unnatural and unhealthy. As reported in The Nation, "Holsinger argues that male-female 'reproductive systems are fully complementary' because 'anatomically the vagina is designed to receive the penis.' The remainder of his paper is a graphic account of the 'delicate' rectum which is 'incapable' of 'protection' if 'objects that are large, sharp, or pointed are inserted' into it."

According to ABC, Senator Obama (D-IL) released the following statement Thursday morning:

"America’s top doctor should be a doctor for all Americans, and so I have serious reservations about nominating someone who would inject his own anti-gay ideology into critical decisions about the health and well-being of our nation."

"As with other nominees, I will listen to the testimony of Dr. James Holsinger, but this Administration must know that the United States Surgeon General’s office is no place for bigotry or ideology that would trump sound science and good judgment," Obama's statement continued.

This Christianist's nomination needs to be killed and I hope Obam, Clinton and others do the right thing and vote NO!!!!!!

Thursday Male Beauty

More Lies From Exodus About Gay "Cures"

I have little use for ex-gay organizations, which in my opinion peddle snake oil and should be shut down for intentionally fraudulent operations." Unfortunately, since most operate as religious related "ministries," they avoid the licensing requirements imposed on legitimate therapists and real mental health clinics. Ex-Gay Watch, on which I have had columns published, has a new story on how Exodus is now, with no documented evidence, claim that sudden and immediate change is possible (see: http://www.exgaywatch.com/wp/2007/06/exodus-fails-to-document-sudden-radical-complete-change/). Here's a portion of the posting:

Exodus International, the largest ex-gay organization and increasingly active anti-gay rights lobby, is now making a rather bold claim. Without any explanation, support or fanfare, they have released two radio spots as part of a media campaign to promote their upcoming Freedom Conference in Irvine, California.

"Revolution - a sudden, radical, complete change - through Christ - freedom is possible for those who struggle with same-gender attraction…”

Both audio clips use the same script with different background music to fit the various radio programming formats. The page contains no information or support concerning the claim, and as far as one can tell it would only be heard by someone listening to the radio or happening across that particular page. A web search would not find it.

In the past, Exodus president Alan Chambers has denied this kind of immediate transformation, and certainly no proof exists to support it. When confronted by Anderson Cooper about Ted Haggard’s claim to have become heterosexual after three weeks of therapy, Chambers said: "Well, the truth is that’s not my story, and it’s not the story of anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t know Ted Haggard’s journey over the last three weeks, but like Mark, I would say that it’s something that — it doesn’t seem like something that is really the case."

I truly feel sorry for gays and their families who are duped by Exodus' bogus propaganda. The only ones who benefit are the professional ex-gays who make money off the unwary and desperate. In my view, these "ex-gays for pay" are parasites.

Update on Iran's Abuse of Gays

Things are bad for gays in many countries, but the Islamic countries definitely stand out as the worse. In Iran, The maximum punishment for adultery and gay sex is death, and teenage boys as young as 15 are eligible for the death penalty. Unfortunately, I doubt that the following report from Pink News.Co.UK (http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-4580.html) will launch a new trend:

Nearly all of the young men arrested at a party in Iran earlier this month under suspicion of being gay have now been released.Eighty-seven young men were originally arrested, and seventeen were held for "homosexual conduct" and drinking alcohol in a crackdown by Iranian police.Amnesty International have said that they are not aware of any evidence that the men attending the party identify themselves as gay or were engaging in same-sex sexual activities. Sixty of the men were released unconditionally, while 26 were released on bail.

Last month PinkNews.co.uk reported how a witness as the time of the arrests, who would only describe herself as Peyman, described how "all my friends were arrested while seven or eight policeman beat them with batons." Arsham Parsi, the executive director of the Iranian Queer Organisation said: "Obviously this crackdown is yet another systematic violation of human rights, along with brutal suppression of womens' movements in Iran and must be strongly protested by all human rights organisations as yet another violation of people's private rights and liberties.

Sadly, human rights are not a priority for Chimperator Bush's administration, which doesn't even want to be bound by the Geneva Conventions rules on treatment of prisoners.

More Wednesday Male Beauty

Sail Virginia - A Visit By Tall Ships

With the 400th anniversary of the founding of Jamestown upon us, from around the globe, tall ships have set course for Hampton Roads to participate in Sail Virginia 2007. The spectacle should be magnificent. The ships will range from the grand full-rigged ships to sleek schooners and small ketches. The event, running June 7 to 11, will feature a fleet of more than 50 tall ships, military and character vessels from the United States, Bermuda, Brazil, Canada, England, France, Germany, India, the Netherlands and Uruguay.

Of course one of the interesting parts will be all the foreign crews in town as part of the event. I have posted a photo of Brazil's vessel, the Cisne Branco, since Brazil seems to produce so many gorgeous guys! This link provides information on a number of the other notable vessels coming to the area: http://content.hamptonroads.com/story.cfm?story=125790&ran=108264

The Importance of Intimacy

For me, intimacy is a huge part - if not the most important part - of a relationship. By intimacy, I do not mean raw physical sex. Rather, it is bonding with another's soul and connecting with their humanity and them as a unique person. Raw, mechanical sex does not require this kind of connection and, to me, without this connection is in the final analysis unfulfilled and empty.

I am sure many of us have on occasion fallen short of this type of connection in our relationships. However, I certainly will do my up most to never do it again. And as the cause of gay rights advances and more recognition of our relationships grows, I hope the LGBT community can in time set a higher standard than the straight world for valuing true intimacy in our relationships. Our enemies in the Christianist far right try to define us by who we have sex with as opposed to who we love. Let's turn the tables on them and use their own definition against them and show how lacking in love they are. Christ's message was essentially to love others, whereas the Christianists hate everyone but themselves.

California Assembly for Second Time Adopts Gay Marriage Bill

The Sacramento Bee is reporting that the California Assembly on Tuesday voted to allow gay couples to marry in a challenge to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has said he would veto the bill if it passes the full Legislature:

Lawmakers approved the measure on a party-line vote, with the majority saying the Legislature should not to wait for the state Supreme Court to act on the issue. It passed 42-34.

"This does in fact provide equal marriage rights for all citizens of California," bill author Mark Leno, D-San Francisco, said as he began what marked the lengthiest debate so far this year on the Assembly floor.

"By denying a group of individuals the right to marry, we denigrate that entire group and deny them citizenship."

The bill now goes to the Senate, which adopted a similar measure in 2005. In his veto at that time, Schwarzenegger wrote that a gay marriage bill would violate Proposition 22, an initiative passed by California voters in 2000 that bars the state from recognizing out-of-state, same-sex marriages.

Only time will tell if Schwarzenegger, who was helped early in his career by wealthy gays and has never fully revealed his past, will again betray LGBT Californians.

NOTE: I DO NOT GENERALLY POST FRONTAL NUDITY, BUT IN MY OPINION, ARNOLD'S HYPOCRISY REQUIRES FULL EXPOSURE.

Wednesday Male Beauty

Number of Republicans in U.S. Hits New Low

You have to say one thing for Chimperator Bush and his vassals in the Christianist controlled GOP: they know how to drive people away from the GOP. Hopefully, they will continue the trend. Only through a devasating defeat at the polls in 2008 will the Christianists be thrown overboard and the GOP given a chance to be retaken by rational individuals. Here's the latest results of a Rasmussen poll:

A Rasmussen Reports national telephone survey of 15,000 adults in May found that just 30.8% now say they’re Republicans. That’s down slightly from last month and down more than six percentage points from the GOP peak of 37.3% during Election 2004. The number of Republicans has been falling fairly steadily since the middle of 2005.

However, the survey also found that the number of people identifying themselves as Democrats has fallen to its lowest level in seventeen months (since January 2006). Democrats gained about two percentage points of support during 2006 and peaked at 38.0% in December of last year. Since actually taking control of Congress, Democrats have given back most of those gains. Today, 36.3% say they belong to Nancy Pelosi’s party.

As a result, the number not affiliated with either major party has jumped to another all-time high—32.9%. That’s up nearly nine percentage points since Election 2004 and means that there are now more politically unaffiliated adults than Republicans

Final Tuesday Male Beauty

Homophobia Claims Another Life

365gay (http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/06/060507suicide.htm) is reporting on the suicide of a gay teen as a result of mistreatment because of his sexual orientation. While this death did not occur in the USA, it is another reason why the Matthew Shepard Act must get enacted and, if vetoed by Chimperator Bush, set back to Congress for an over ride vote. Here's the story:

Fifteen year old Jonathan Reynolds (pictured at left) sent his family a final text message minutes before he lay down on the tracks in front of train traveling at 85 miles an hour.

"Tell everyone that this is for anybody whoever said anything bad about me, see I do have feelings too. Blame the people who were horrible and unjust 2 me. This is because of them, I am human just like them. I hope they rot in hell 4 what they made me do. They know who they are," said the message to his father and his 14 year old sister.

"None of you blame urself mum, dad, Sam and the rest of my family. This is not because of you." the message ended.

An American study on teen bullying released in March found that lesbian and gay adolescents were three to four times more likely to report having been bullied than heterosexual teens.

If Bush vetoes the Matthew Shepard Act, the message to LGBT Americans is that our lives and safety do not matter to Bush and his religious fanatic base.

More Tuesday Male Beauty

Divorce Wars - Continued

I am happy to report that the depositions went far better than expected today and there really was no gay bashing - perhaps in party because my attorney let the other side know that he had the phone number for the duty judge's chambers (by coincidence the judge on duty today goes to my church and knows me, so I almost wish they'd acted up) at his finger tips and would call the judge if anything in appropriate was said or asked.

However, afterwards the estranged spouse's made a settlement proposal that would buy me my complete freedom - the price: essentially everything I have except my law firm, my highly mortgaged house and a ten year old car. She even wants all my IRA's. In short, 30 years of work and largely nothing to show for it. Meanwhile, she still has no full time job notwithstanding all her education and advanced degree and doctoral course work (she's a real blood sucker). Needless to say, her "settlement" is NOT acceptable. I will submit a counter offer, but do not know where the warfare is headed.

The moral to any of you closet cases thinking of getting married to women - DO NOT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!! I REPEAT, DO NOT DO IT!!!!!! And the moral if you are married and coming out, DO NOT LET THEM PLAY ON YOUR MISPLACED SENSE OF GUILT so that you are overly generous. They will turn on you before it's over. I went out of my way to be generous and to do the right thing by the estranged wife and my thanks is that she wants to totally fuck me over. I guess no good deed goes unpunished as they say. She's so eaten up with hate and anger that she has become a total stranger to me.

I am sorry if my tone is so cold, but it upsets me to no end that I worked hard and sacrificed, and now I receive credit for none of it. I guess I was a total fool.

God's Perfect Love Requires No Ex-gay "Cure"

Some language in a post on Ex-Gay Watch by Eugene Wagner really touched me and very much describes the evolution I had to made spiritually to arrive at a place of self-acceptance with my sexuality. I cannot express it any better, so here's a portion of his post:

If there’s one pivotal event that I hope I adequately account for in every retelling, it’s how I came to truly understand, for the first time, that God loves me exactly the way I am, and that I don’t have to change who or what I am to earn his acceptance.

It’s equally important to understand that God brought me to this point before I began questioning everything I’d been taught by the church about my “condition,” and not the other way around. I certainly didn’t interpret God’s unconditional acceptance as a license to do whatever my whims might happen to dictate, and I still don’t.

Words cannot fully convey just how revolutionary it was to come to the realization that not only did I not have to become somebody else in order to appease God, but he didn’t want me to be somebody else. Yet somebody else was precisely what I was trying to become through my efforts to “reclaim my natural heterosexuality.”

For better or for worse, whether because of genetics, hormones, psychological influences or some combination of the three, my homosexuality is a permanent, integral part of who I am, and God made it clear to me that he wasn’t interested in fundamentally altering the personality of somebody he had already fallen in love with, as even a partial shift in orientation would have entailed for me. Maybe it’s different for someone whose attractions were more fluid to begin with, but I wouldn’t know.

For the full post, see: http://www.exgaywatch.com/wp/2007/06/perfect-love/

Tuesday Male Beauty

Divorce Furies Continued

I am bracing for possible gay bashing today in depositions. I will be truly glad when this whole divorce war is over. The nastiest part of yesterday was after the hearing adjourned when the estranged wife stalked over and said "Your daughter Lauren has melanoma and needs surgery" and then walked off. I, of course, knew nothing about any of it since neither of my two oldest children have been talking to me for months thanks to mommy dearest's constant poison campaign against me. Moreover, my youngest (age 18), who spoke to me twice on Saturday, never mention anything about it to me.

I was stunned and terribly upset and had horrible flash backs to when my oldest had nearly died of bacteria meningitis in 1999. Finally, about 6 hours later I reached her by telephone and learned that her doctors and others did not believe there was any need for panic. I was incredibly relieved, needless to say. The whole episode, however, demonstrates what an evil person the ex-wife has become.

As for the depositions, I am prepared if they try to get any law firms or attorneys to testify that my sexual orientation makes me unemployable. I have printed out the non-discrimination policies of all of Virginia's reputable law schools (that, of course does not include Pat Robertson's Regent University), and confirmed that ALL of them bar firms from recruiting if they discriminate on the basis of sexual orientation. If they proffer evidence based on statements of local firms or attorneys, I will (1) post their names and contact information in a future post - hopefully, you all will have at them and blow up their e-mails and phone lines - and (2) immediately forward their information to every one of these law schools.

Truth be told, I am not aware of a single client that has stopped using my law firm because I am gay. In contrast, I have actually picked up dozens of LGBT clients because I am not in the closet, and I suspect a number of my black clients use me because they feel neither I nor my staff will be discriminatory towards them.

More Monday Male Beauty

Divorce Furies

Today's Court hearing was largely a draw. The matter was continued, but any financial ruling in my favor will be retro active. Unfortunately, the Court did not limit the scope of depositions tomorrow and my estranged wife's counsel, clearly intends to try to make an argument that my being openly gay - and worse yet, advertising to the LGBT market - makes me less able to earn more money. I guess his reasoning (or lack thereof) is that none of the homophobic law firms around here will hire an openly gay attorney.

How he intends to prove that defies belief. If he brings in any big law firms or big firm attorneys to make that statement, rest assured that I will identify them in a future post and turn them into all of the reputable laws schools in Virginia that include non-discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in their on campus interview policies. Any firm that will not honor that policy is barred from interviewing at those law schools.

In any event, tomorrow's depositions will not be fun and I suspect there will be wild claims of me buying stuff for Raymond (my b/f), notwithstanding that I can document that he has paid $1,000's in bills in my name, which is more than the estranged wife EVER did. In retrospect, she simply viewed me as her personal ATM machine.

Sorry to be peevish, but I am both saddened and angry!!

Monday Male Beauty

Postings Today and Thoughts on Blogging

I am not sure how much opportunity I will have to post today since I have the divorce hearing battle this afternoon and I have to assemble a ton of materials to once again convince the Court - if not the delusional and vengeful estranged wife - that I really don't have hidden money or money buried in the back yard. Tomorrow should be even worse with depositions of both me and Raymond.

Meanwhile, I saw Euphoric had a post on Real Euphoria that did a great job explaining why I too get a theraputic boost from writing this blog:

"The Blog: . . . .I find this better than writing in a more private journal. As I explained the big difference between writing on a blog versus a journal is the way I write. . . . [A] journal is like you are writing about yourself blah blah where I find when writing on the blog it is like talking to someone. It may be a minor difference to some but to me it is a huge difference and therfore feels in a way like I am telling a story. The other part of that is that by writing here I am putting it out there and not bottling it up in my own little world. The most amazing thing I have discovered since starting to blog is that I have discovered I am not the only person out there with values and morals that are like mine. By putting myself out there I have discovered that there are other gay men out there who think similar to me. The one thing that goes along with that is I have had a certain amount of validation from readers . . . . Validation that what I think and feel is both reasonable and shared."

I agree with Euphoric's sentiments completely, and I thank all you readers and commentors - including you, Euphoric - for the validation you have given me.

Final Sunday Male Beauty

Why Civil Rights of All Groups Matter

Boston Pobble had this poem posted on her site. It clearly makes the point of why tolerating oppression or the deprivation of the civil rights of one element of society sets the stage for wider oppression and abuse. Unfortunately, too many in the USA right now don't make the connection with what is being done to gays by the Christianists - James Dobson is a prime example of the vicious bullies of the far right - is only the beginning of their agenda to impose a theocratic rule where they decide who has rights and who doesn not. Gays are only the first of their targets.

They came first for the Communists,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists,

and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics,

and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me,

and by that time no one was left to speak up.

~ Martin Niemoller (from the NE Holocaust Memorial version of the quote)

More Sunday Male Beauty

Death by Suburb: How to Keep the Suburbs from Killing Your Soul"

I came across this article in the Washington Post http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/06/02/AR2007060201025.html and it struck a real nerve with me and made me recall my straight life in my upper middle class neighborhood in Virginia Beach (the photo is of my former 5 bedroom 3.5 bath home which apparently is just back on the market). This paragraph of the article in particular struck home:

It's not just suburban life that can leave people feeling like each day brings more of the same: commuting, work, errands, chores, pressure to pay the bills. The quest for more and bigger can breed isolation and stress, leaving some in the region to question their lifestyles.

So much of the focus in that neighborhood was on bigger and more luxurious homes, multiple expensive cars, in-ground pools – in short a quest for “things” to make ones’s life complete. Meanwhile, many of the residents were what my therapist calls “sleep walkers,” going through the motions of life, but not really living life. People worried more about insignificant PTA events, children’s sports or gossip at the neighborhood pool that on the state of politics and/or the direction of the country. Or they worried about things years in the future, forgetting to live life in the present. Few if any of them were Bad people. They just had been hypnotized by societal expectations.

I will admit that for a long time I was to some extent one of the sleep walkers. I do not think I was as zoned out as most - I have always been interested in current events, news and politics. Hence, I do not believe I was ever as oblivious to things as many of those around me. Don’t get me wrong. In many ways it was a great place to raise kids in terms of a safe neighborhood. However, it was very homogenous, with an underlying, unstated message to conform. Perhaps being in the closet and being ever on guard to hide my secret I was more in tune to perceiving these things.

I do know that since (A) coming out of the closet, (B) moving to a much more diverse neighborhood (the b/f and I rehabbed a house in a marginal, but up and coming area), and (C) having to come to self-acceptance while not conforming to straight society's rules, I have met more truly alive and genuine people. True, it may not be the outwardly “perfect” world of my old life, but it is much more interesting and real. Moreover, I have learned that things do not lead to happiness. The real secret is to be who you really are and not feel need to apoligize to any one for being you.

Sunday Male Beauty

More On Bush's Witch Doctor Nominee

Several people have asked for more information on Chimperator Bush’s nominee for Surgeon General, particular his participation in ex-gay cure ministries. Here is some of the information I have pulled together:

1. The church he founded, Hope Springs Community Church in Lexington (http://www.hopespringschurch.com/index.cfm) has a number of “Change Ministries: Here’s one that appears to focus on male sexuality issues – which I suspect includes being gay (and probably “pornography addiction” which is very prevalent among so-called evangelicals):

Men’s Sexual Integrity: Offers an opportunity for men to heal from sexual brokenness and find strength to overcome unhealthy sexual behaviors in a safe and confidential environment. Find the support and accountability you need and develop a closer relationship with the one who can heal, Jesus Christ.

2. Lindsay Beyerstein, a freelance writer based in New York City, has some further details on Holsinger on her news blog , Majikthise, which provides coverage of national, and international politics http://majikthise.typepad.com/majikthise_/2007/06/surgeon_general.html . BarbinMD has some fun facts about the man who could be America's next top doc:

– Holsinger founded Hope Springs Community Church, which “ministers to people who no longer wish to be gay or lesbian.” Holsinger said that he sees homosexuality as “an issue not of orientation but of lifestyle.” [Lexington Herald-Leader, 6/1/07]

– In serving on the United Methodist Judicial Council — the “court” that resolves “disputes involving church doctrine and policies in the nation’s second-largest Protestant denomination” — Holsinger “opposed a decision to allow a practicing lesbian to be an associate pastor, and he supported a pastor who would not permit an openly gay man to join the church.” [Lexington Herald-Leader, 6/1/07]

– In the early 1990s, Holsinger resigned from the United Methodist Church’s Committee to Study Homosexuality “because he believed the committee ‘would follow liberal lines.’” He also warned “that acceptance of homosexuality would drive away millions of churchgoers.” [Arkansas Democrat Gazette, 5/26/07; Time, 6/24/91]

In addition, when surgeon general nominee Dr. James Holsinger was serving on the board of the Confessing Movement of the United Methodist Church, the board issued a statement accusing the "radical homosexual/lesbian lobby" and those who support homosexuality of precipitating "a crisis in the United Methodist Church."

Personally, I believe having this guy as Surgeon General would be a disaster for serious medical knowledge. Again, why didn't Bush simply nominate a witch doctor. Such a nominee would certainly be as credible as a nut job who thinks being gay is "a lifestyle choice." I guess to this guy living and breathing is a "lifestyle choice" as well.