More Saturday Male Beauty

The Hypocrisy of Self-Righteous Homophobes

Have you noticed how so many anti-gay bigots and homophobes want to denigrate LGBT citizens and deprive us of civil legal rights yet at the same time want to remain safely anonymous? These folks range from those who sign anti-gay initiative petitions to place anti-gay legislation on the ballot and then shriek and howl when their names might be made public. Or there are NOM's anonymous donors who want to viciously the rights of gay citizens while hiding from public view themselves. Or their are people like the parents of students who seek to ruin the lives/careers of LGBT teachers but don't want their own names made known. A case in point is what happened to student teacher Seth Stambaugh (more on his case in a moment). All of these individuals want a license to denigrate and demonize LGBT Americans but lack the courage to have their hate and bigotry exposed to the light of day. The fact that these jerks are embarrassed to have their actions made public ought to tell them they were wrong in the first place and need to rethink their bigotry.
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Now back to Seth Stambaugh's situation. Aaron Krikava is the parent who set things in motion to have Stambaugh fired because he took offense at Stambaugh's comment about gay marriage in answering a student's question about his relationship status. Of course, Krikava doesn't bear sole responsibility for Stambaugh's firing. The school district all too typically showed no backbone and fired Stambaugh rather than buck parental bigotry. Ultimately, however, Stambaugh had a public letter of support from 27 Sexton Mountain teachers, 22 Sexton Mountain parents, and nearly 5,000 people who signed an online petition to reinstate him. District officials — worn down by community outrage, legal threats, and embarrassing national headlines — reinstated Stambaugh. They even promised to reform their approach toward LGBT issues. As for Kirkava, he "felt threatened" and has taken his child out of Stambaugh's class, thereby disproving to me at least that he's "not a homophobe." Here are highlights from the Portland Mercury:
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[T]he parent who originally complained about the gay marriage comment Stambaugh made in class sent out a mass email saying he was pulling his son out of Stambaugh's class at Sexton Mountain Elementary.
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"We have been called every name under the sun. We are not bigots, homophobes, or religious fanatics," wrote the parent, Aaron Krikava, in the email that was forwarded to me by one of the numerous parents who received it. "What began as a simple event of a responsible parent expressing a valid concern quickly turned into an opportunity to push a political agenda." Krikava goes on to say that the family felt "threatened" . . . Krikava writes that Perriguey [Stambaugh's attorney] told the mother that if the family did not ask the district to reinstate Stambaugh, "he may not be able to continue to keep our names, and our phone numbers, including our sons, out of the press."
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Krikava describes the classroom as a "compromised situation" and concludes that it would be "irresponsible" to leave his son there. We're printing Krikava's name now because he has given up the expectation of privacy granted any private citizen in this situation by sending out a mass email about the case signed with his full name.

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The message to Krikava and those like him is this: we are NOT going away and we are NOT going to slink away quietly. If you want to be a bigot and hate merchant, then expect your name to be public.

Activism Weekend - And Things to Do to Move Us Forward

The boyfriend and I are definitely in activism and fundraiser mode this weekend. Last night we hosted 60+ folks at our home to raise funds for ACCESS AIDS Care, a local non-profit that provides services to individuals dealing with AIDS/HIV as well as their families. The evening was a success, although I was up until 2:00 AM washing dishes and cleaning up. Tonight we are off to the Equality Virginia Legends Gala fundraiser - EV's second largest fundraiser of the year and always a lot of fun. The individual honorees are good friends of ours, and the first organization to receive the Legends honor is St. Mark's Episcopal Church located in Hampton, Virginia. Getting involved in LGBT organizations has been a huge means to rebuild my social network and social life after coming out and see so many of my supposed friends act as if I was either a leper or just plain invisible. For those embarking on a coming out journey in mid-life, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to get involved in LGBT community organizations. The years I have been a member of the Legends planning committee have made a huge difference in my circle of friends.

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Of course, there's another reason to become involved besides making friends and building a social network: doing good for others and often at the same time moving LGBT rights and equality forward. As fellow Bilerico contributor Austen Crowder noted, in the wake of Tuesday's elections, we need to take care of our own"
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Volunteer your time and your money to organizations working within your local community - they often get the short end of the stick. You can take your pick of organizations, as not everybody is political. There are youth centers that are always looking for content, HIV charities in need of help, community education centers in need of speakers. The world is not a nice place for queer people and these organizations help us navigate the law, access needed care, and network with friendly businesses and organizations. It's not sexy work by any stretch of the imagination, but giving your time to these places will have a direct effect on your local community.
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Are they going to help the political quest for equality? In most places, no. Just because we are fighting for future political victories doesn't mean we can ignore the needs of our community in the here and now.

Saturday Male Beauty

Is Pending Take Over of MSNBC By Bush Donor Behind Olbermann Suspension?

Personally, I am both disheartened and livid over MSNBC's suspension/firing of Keith Olbermann for what in the grand scheme of things are totally insignificant political donations - especially when compared to Rupert Murdoch's $1 million donation to the GOP. Yes, I will continue to watch Rachel Maddow's show, but the rest of the MSNBC lineup can kiss my ass goodbye. My displeasure is all the stronger inasmuch as it now seems that there may be some skulduggery going on. While it is true that final approval of Comcast's take over of MSNBC is still pending, it seems all too possible that the targeted MSNBC might be trying to please its future masters in advance by whacking one of the best journalists around in my opinion simply because he criticizes the political bedfellows of Comcast. If I were Rachel Maddow, I'd be sweating bullets waiting for the next shoe to drop.
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It is increasingly frightening to me that so much of the MSN seems to be more and more an extension of the conservative political machine. Rather than report facts or - heavens forbid - challenge GOP assertions, the anchors just parrot GOP talking points. Case in point: Diane Sawyer's interview with John Boenher. I thought I'd vomit. It might just as well have been a GOP paid commercial. If Steve Burke (oictured above), a former Bush donor, is going to be at the helm of MSNBC, I suspect we can soon write MSNBC off as a serious news source. Here are highlights from Think Progress:
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We have been notified that Comcast has not yet officially taken over MSNBC/NBC Universal. . . . . once Comcast gains final approval from federal regulators to move forward, Comcast COO Steve Burke, a Bush fundraiser, will be placed at the helm of MSNBC and other NBC companies.
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As many bloggers have noted, conservative MSNBC host Joe Scarborough has donated to Republican candidates for Congress while promoting the same candidate on air, but has never been disciplined. Moreover, Gawker notes that MSNBC has been exempt from the formal NBC ethics rules for years. It is still a mystery why MSNBC selectively applied NBC’s ethics rules to Olbermann.
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Comcast’s latest regulatory battle has been to oppose Net Neutrality — a rule allowing a free and open Internet — because the company would prefer to have customers pay for preferred online content.
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Olbermann has been a strong voice in favor of a free and open Internet. Republicans, on the other hand, have supported the telecommunication industry’s push to radically change the Internet so corporate content producers have the upper hand over start-ups like blogs, independent media, small businesses, etc. As Reuters has reported, the incoming Republican Congress has signaled that it will vigorously side with companies like Comcast against an open Internet.
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Frankly, I don't believe that this action against Olbermann is a coincidence. Also, if we lose a free and open Internet in this country, it will be one more step towards a very scary America where the supposed principles of the nation are increasingly trashed and ignored by the far right and big business.

A Suicide More Complex Than a Slogan

The New York Times has a piece that looks at the suicide of 26 year old Joseph Jefferson (pictured at right) in New York City last month. While there doesn't appear to have been any anti-gay bullying involved, it does seem that Jefferson - like so many of us - suffered emotional/psychological as a result of living in a far too homophobic society. Being black and coming from a black church experience that is often more homophobic than other faith traditions may not have helped matters either. Like many suicides, we will likely never know Jefferson's final thoughts. However, based on my own experience and suicide attempts, I suspect he just felt overwhelmed and too tired to keep swimming against the anti-gay societal current. I use that analogy because at times I have felt that I am struggling against the current and that it would be easier to simply give up the struggle and allow myself to be swept over the waterfall if you will.

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The sad truth is that in this nation (and many others) being LGBT means that one has to deal with a whole additional ration of crap over and above what others must deal with. And too often, those of us brought up in toxic anti-gay religious denominations have a hard time ever fully escaping from the horrific brainwashing of our youth. The years of inculcated self-hate remains a latent poison beneath the surface just waiting for a trigger. Most of us can beat back the internalized homophobia, but sadly, not all us can do so successfully. Meanwhile, the modern day Pharisees of the professional Christian set continue to push their money making anti-gay agenda , never giving a damn as to the lives being damaged and destroyed as they pay themselves nicely on the equivalent of blood money. Yes, Maggie Gallagher and Tony Perkins, I mean you, among others. Here are highlights from the Times article:
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In one of the last updates he posted on his Facebook page, Joseph Jefferson sounded like yet another young gay person succumbing to overwhelming social rejection, if not outright bullying.
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“I could not bear the burden of living as a gay man of color in a world grown cold and hateful towards those of us who live and love differently than the so-called mainstream,” wrote Mr. Jefferson, 26, who killed himself last month.
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Experts say that two main risk factors for suicide are depression and a prior suicide attempt, both of which were in Mr. Jefferson’s past, although few of his friends or family knew of that earlier close call. (In 2008, he attempted an overdose with pills, according to Michael Roberson, a gay activist who considered Mr. Jefferson his godson.) Mr. Jefferson was especially prone to bouts of depression in the fall, the time of year when his mother had unexpectedly died in 2001, a loss from which he never fully recovered, according to friends.
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Mr. Roberson said that for any gay black man, homophobia is “never not part of the conversation.” “The message that we get from the black church is that we are an abomination,” Mr. Roberson said. “I know he felt that.” And that message, he believed, made Mr. Jefferson more vulnerable to a feeling of worthlessness.
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Why, exactly, did Mr. Jefferson decide to end his life? What was at the bottom of his sense of despair? What services might have reached him? In death, as in life, he was complicated, and he left no clear answers.

Mercury News: Obama Needs to Find a Backbone

I've been deriding the spineless wonder in the White House for some time. Those of us who voted for Obama in 2008 wanted a leader, not simpering follower. But the latter is what we got instead of a forceful leader who actually believe the statements and promises that he made on the campaign trail. Some Democrats have been none too happy with my criticism of the Liar-in-Chief, so it was nice to find an e-mail this morning from a reader in California directing me to a San Jose Mercury News editorial that goes after Obama big time for his pathetic lack of leadership. It's nice to know that it's not just me that sees this president as a growing disaster who appears headed to failed president status. Personally, from what we've seen over the last two years, I have little confidence that Obama will/can change. I suspect that by the end of his term, Obama will make Jimmy Carter look like a very forceful president. What a disappointment. What a betrayal. Yes, I hope I'll be proven wrong, by I am surely NOT holding my breath. Here are some editorial highlights:
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Man up, Mr. President. The image of a whimpering, apologetic loser that Barack Obama presented to the world Wednesday after his Election Day shellacking was an embarrassment to those of us who had cheered his own decisive victory two short years ago.
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America elected Obama president, and America needs a strong president -- all the more so when he's under siege. But as Republicans gear up for the fight of their lives, Obama appears to be ironing his white flag. If Obama cannot revive the fiery eloquence and forward-thinking agenda that won America's hearts and minds in 2008, then he's destined to be a one-term president -- perhaps not even his party's nominee in 2012. America saw a different Obama in 2008. We need him back.
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Obama should have learned from the health care debate that attempting to compromise with people who aren't interested is futile; you end up with inferior policies and disappoint your supporters. Yet the president already is caving on extending the Bush tax cuts that help the wealthy at the expense of the middle class and will add $700 billion to the deficit. This even though recent polls show that a strong majority of Americans supports ending those tax breaks -- and, by the way, continuing health care reform.
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[H]ere's the choice. Obama can spend the next year offering up wishy-washy legislation, begging Republicans to help him pass it and seeing them shoot it down anyway. Or he can go to the American people -- taking a page from Franklin D. Roosevelt's playbook -- and summon up the eloquence that moved voters two years ago. He can stand up for ideas they overwhelmingly support and make clear the problem is not him but the opposition party. He can drill in on the Republican "Party of No" strategy and make it an embarrassment, which it should be. He can force the opposition to the negotiating table, where they can forge compromises in the best interests of the country.

Friday Male Beauty

A Mother's Anti-Homophobia Rant Goes Viral

I had read the post "My Son is Gay," on the blog Nerdy Apple Bottom and loved it, having first become aware of it via Good As You. That was before it apparently went viral and was picked up by Salon and other large outlets. The post is written by a self-described "cop's wife" living in the Bible Belt and lets loose against smug, self-satisfied "Christians" who would demonize and torment a five year old boy simply because of his chosen Halloween costume. This wonderful mom goes off like a lioness and takes down her son's petty, hypocritical, Pharisee like critics and in the process condemns those who are a driving force for homophobia and anti-gay bigotry and bullying. And as she does so, she demonstrates wit and humor worthy of a drag queen that has her game full on. Bigotry and homophobia begin at home in families such as those of these "fine Christian women." Here are highlights from Salon's coverage of this enjoyable demonstration of what maternal love should be all about:
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This is how it's done, folks. When the Bible Belt blogger known as Nerdy Apple Bottom's 5-year-old son wanted to be Daphne from Scooby Doo for Halloween this year, she supported his costume choice, orange wig and pink boots and all. Because duh, it's Halloween; the point is to be somebody you're not.
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On Friday, the self-described "cop's wife" hinted about her child's experience at school that day on her blog by saying, "I am so proud of my brave little Daphne…. He had a few moments where he was worked up about people making fun of him, but mustered up the courage to go for it. He held his little orange wig high today," and "for those of you that looked at my sweet boy in disdain this morning, or looked at me funny for 'allowing' my son to be what he wanted to for Halloween, or made those snide and unnecessary comments -- your lives are small, your tact is lacking, and you can SUCK IT!"
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This week she expanded on the experience and the sentiment, with a warm, funny cri de coeur entitled "My son is gay." She went on: "Or he’s not. I don’t care. He is still my son. And he is 5. And I am his mother. And if you have a problem with anything mentioned above, I don’t want to know you." Bada BING.
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It didn't take long for Nerdy Apple Bottom's eloquent, passionate post to start making making the rounds as a refreshing example of great parenting in action – and a sobering reminder that even the youngest boys and girls who stray outside the most rigid of gender expectations scare the crap out of a lot of people. In a pathetic, non Halloween-ish way.
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Though the inevitable handful of trolls has shown up in the blogger's comments, the response has been overwhelmingly supportive, positive and wildly enthusiastic. Think of it as nature's way of refreshing our faith in humanity after Clint McCance's notorious Facebook diatribe last week that "I would disown my kids they were gay. They will not be welcome at my home or in my vicinity. I will absolutely run them off."
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As the blogger herself says it, "If he wants to carry a purse, or marry a man, or paint fingernails with his best girlfriend, then ok. My job as his mother is not to stifle that man that he will be, but to help him along his way. Mine is not to dictate what is 'normal' and what is not, but to help him become a good person."

Obama Could Have Chartered A Very Different Course on LGBT Rights, But We Don't Seem to Matter

In an interview at the Daily Beast, Elliot Spitzer and Kevin Sessums had some very harsh words for Barak Obama on LGBT issues. Spitzer stopped just short of calling Obama a coward. Sessums was not as reticent. Personally, I view Obama as a total liar as well as a coward. Here's a sampling of their interview:
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SESSUMS: On another legal matter, do you agree with Obama that he had no choice as president defending the law of Congress to appeal the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell ruling that said it was unconstitutional? Or do you agree with Ted Olson that he did not have to?
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SPITZER: He didn’t have to. He should have gotten rid of it with an executive order. He is the President! He is the commander-in-chief!
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SESSUMS: And on gay marriage he is to the right of Dick Cheney and Ken Mehlman and Ted Olson. It would be almost poetic if it weren’t so sad and disheartening that on the civil rights issue of our time, our first African-American president will be seen on the wrong side of history. Again, for political reasons he’s playing with people’s lives.
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This dialogue got Jeremy Hooper at Good As You thinking and expressing feelings that I share. Like so many of us, he feels let down and, worse yet, that to our president, our lives simply do not matter. Jeremy usually expends his writing skills exposing the hate, hypocrisy and down right lunancy of the anti-gay forces. So this is a bit of a departure in some ways, but as always he states his case eloquently. Here are highlights:
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But on LGBT issues, it's been all compromise all the time! The principled push forward, a subjective path that those who value equality for all citizens have chosen to take without hesitancy or qualifiers, is typically presented by this administration as a two-footed, equally-merited, completely objective march. There's been little danger in the bold leadership seeming too tough, except with the far-right social conservatives who think watching "Modern Family" without fast forwarding through the Cam/Mitchell scenes is too pro-gay.
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The promises have been there. The speeches and proclamations have been inclusive, which does make a statement and should not be denied. But the White House has expended shockingly minimal capital on true change for LGBT rights, during a time when they should've realized that the window was always destined to close. In turn, the people who've become much more disenchanted, alienated, and/or confused are the ones who put so much hope in a president who they expected to take real world risks to accomplish what's long overdue and undeniably right.
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The mere fact that we LGBT people still have to discuss our basic humanity here in 2010 is appalling: That's a truism that expands well beyond the presidency or even politics. However, there is no person in the world -- NOT. ONE. PERSON. -- who is in a more powerful chair in terms of changing civil rights history. It's past time President Obama risk seeming arrogant on these core values issues, lest he risk seeming worthy of primary challenge in 2012.
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And that's not a threat from a detractor, either. It's a real concern from a frequent defender who still wants to believe.
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Part of me would like to still believe that Obama meant something of what he said during the campaign and in speeches here and there on LGBT rights. But experience to date suggests that desire is merely wishful thinking on my part. Sadly, I believe that LGBT lives and hopes never meant anything to the Liar-in-Chief. He only wanted our votes and our money. Many in the community likely feel like jilted lovers. But as in any failed relationship, at some point one must accept that's its over and move on. I want that worth primary challenge in 2012.

More Thursday Male Beauty

Mid-Term Election Saw Disproportionate Drop in Gay Support of Democrats

While the Log Cabin Republicans are trying to fan what I see as a myth - i.e., that more gays voted for Republicans than ever before on Tuesday - one thing does seem to be certain: LGBT voters did NOT support Democrats ate the rate they have done so in prior elections, including the last midterm election. As for the claimed increase in gays voting for the GOP, I suspect the percentage looked higher simply because fewer gays in total voted. If nothing else, the GOP does know who to turn out the Kool-Aid drinkers (or in this case the self-hating kapos) at election time. While I applaud what the Log Cabin Republicans have accomplished to date in court on DADT, I still see being a rabid Republican and being gay as mutually exclusive unless one has a death wish or enjoys being denigrated. America Blog Gay reported this data:
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2006 US House exit poll:
3% of voters were gay
75% voted Democratic
24% voted Republican
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2008 US House exit poll:
3% of voters were gay
80% voted Democratic
19% voted Republican

2008 Obama vs McCain exit poll:
4% of voters were gay
70% voted Obama
27% voted McCain
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2010 US House exit poll data:
3% of voters were gay
68% voted Democratic
31% voted Republican
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Unfortunately, the exit polling doesn't indicate the relative aggregate number of gay voters in each election year. With more and more people coming out and being willing to identify as gay, without total numbers, it is hard to confirm what was going on for certain. One thing is clear, however: the message to Democrats is that if you don't deliver on promises, the LGBT vote cannot be taken for granted. Ditto for Hispanics, labor, blacks, etc. America Blog Gay also noted as follows:
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After reviewing the full data, Sherrill [the researcher] says there was a disproportionate drop in Democratic support among LGBT voters compared to Hispanic, black, and young voters. Though the sample size is still very small and thus there's a large margin of error, Sherrill now says the drop may be attributed to "dissatisfaction with the pace of change on LGB rights over the past two years."

Ouster of Iowa Judges Reveals NOM's Anti-Constitution Agenda

The New York Times has a lengthy piece that looks at the ouster of the three justices of the Iowa Supreme Court. While the Times doesn't come right out an say it, the goal of NOM and similar Christofascists is to destroy the concept of an independent judiciary and in the process destroy the balance of powers under the U. S. Constitution. The courts have always been part of the design to reign in the legislative branch and executive branches not to mention act as a bulwark to protect the rights of minorities. NOM and other Christianist want nothing less than raw mob majority rule. That was more or less their argument in backing Proposition 8. The majority makes the rules and everyone else can go f*ck themselves. It's all about satisfying and stroking the perverted egos of self-congratulatory bigots like Maggie Gallagher, Brian Brown (who like so many professional gay haters, is probably a closet case), the leaders of the Mormon and Catholic Churches, all of whom are only content when they can look down upon and treat others as inferiors. As I have said many times, these people are a clear and present danger to the U.S. Constitution and must be stopped. Other minorities need to wake up to the danger since the Christianist despise many of them almost as much as gays. The only irony that gives me comfort is that in not too many years, these lily white Christianist will likely be in the minority themselves and their own rhetoric, if successful, is setting the stage for a new majority to revoke the rights and privileges of these bastards. Karma can be a bitch. Here are highlights from the Times article:
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An unprecedented vote to remove three Iowa Supreme Court justices who were part of the unanimous decision that legalized same-sex marriage in the state was celebrated by conservatives as a popular rebuke of judicial overreach, even as it alarmed proponents of an independent judiciary.
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Leaders of the recall campaign said the results should be a warning to judges elsewhere. . . . “It’s we the people, not we the courts.”
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But critics of the campaign, including those who see the courts as a protector of minority rights, said the politicization of uncontested judicial elections represented a danger.
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“What is so disturbing about this is that it really might cause judges in the future to be less willing to protect minorities out of fear that they might be voted out of office,” said Erwin Chemerinsky, the dean of the University of California, Irvine, School of Law. “Something like this really does chill other judges.”
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From its first decision in 1839, the Iowa Supreme Court demonstrated a willingness to push ahead of public opinion on matters of minority rights, ruling against slavery, school segregation and discrimination decades before the national mood shifted toward racial equality.
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National Organization for Marriage and the American Family Association, poured money into the removal campaign. Judges face no opponents in retention elections and simply need to win more yes votes than no votes to go on to another eight-year term.
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The defeat was a bitter disappointment to much of the legal community here, which rallied behind the justices, and it was viewed with particular concern in the gay community, which has found state courts more sympathetic than state legislatures.

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History will probably view these three justices as heroes who risked their careers to do the right thing. Ms. Gallagher, et al, in contrast will probably be looked upon with horror and contempt by future generations and be vilified as champions of hate and bigotry. I hope her descendants and relatives feel the need to hide some day because of her foul and hateful actions denigrating the lives of others.

Thursday Male Beauty

Rudy Giuliani Says GOP Should 'Ease Up' on Gay Rights, Thinks 'DADT' Can Be Repealed Now

Rudy Giuliani told CNN's Wolf Blitzer yesterday that he thinks it would be politically wise for Republicans to stop demonizing gays and says 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is ready to go, now. No doubt the modern day Pharisees of the Christian Right will have a conniption fit over these remarks (I suspect that Elaine Donnelly wet herself if she happened to be watch this interview). Gays are among the Christofascists' favorite groups to demonize in order to shake down the bigoted, senile and ignorant for money. And GOP politicians are not any better in their bigotry since they further their own agenda with the forces of the lunatic far right by spreading hate against gays, blacks, Hispanics, immigrants and many others. Indeed, these politicians and the Christianists are best defined by who they hate - which is just about everyone other than white conservative Christians. Obviously, Giuliani needs to have a heart to heart with John McCain, a/k/a John McSenile, on this topic since McSenile says he will block any attempt to repeal DADT in the Senate. Here are highlights from Think Progress:
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GIULIANI: I didn’t see [Don't Ask, Don't Tell] as a big issue in this. The social issues were not in this. So maybe that’s an area where Republican can ease up a little bit and not …
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BLITZER: But you support gay rights?
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GIULIANI: I do.

BLITZER: So you would get rid of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell?
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GIULIANI: My feeling about Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was, in the middle of the height of the Iraq war, not a good time to do it. We’re not in the middle of the height of the Iraq war. Afghanistan is a different kind of thing. You could probably accomplish it now. It’s eventually going to happen and it seems to me that it gets my party out of this anti-gay, feeling that we’re being unfair to people who are gay.

Why Do I Often Write Against Catholicism?

UPDATED: The Catholic Church had another bigotry eruption today as Belgian Archbishop basically made the statement that AIDS is God's punishment to gays. The Mirror has these details:
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The head of Belgium's Catholic church is under fire for saying gay men deserve Aids and paedophile priests should not be punished. Archbishop Andre-Joseph Leonard - who is close to the Pope - is facing legal action from a gay rights lawyer for saying HIV is "justice" for the "travesty" of homosexuality. Leonard's own spokesman has quit over the remarks.
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I often get asked why I write about the Catholic Church so often and in such a negative light. Blogger friend Zack Ford recently got asked the same question and his response? Because the Catholic Church makes him do so. How so? In my view by its constant anti-gay agenda, by its constant hypocrisy, by its contsant anti-knowledge stances, and, of course, by its corruption and constant efforts to cover up its criminal conduct in the world wide sex abuse scandal. I have two search agents on Google. One sends me articles on the Catholic Church and sex abuse. The other sends me articles on the Catholic Church and gay issues. Virtually everyday there is nastiness and batshitery to write about. If the Catholic Church and members of the Catholic laity want less bad commentary, then its simple. Stop the anti-gay activities of the Church and the Knights of Columbus and clean house of the corrupt and morally bankrupt Church hierarchy. And stop the Church's efforts to deprive me and others in the LGBT community of CIVIL LAW rights. Since I see no movement on any of these fronts, it seems I will continue to be writing about the Church's sins often for a long time to come. Here are highlights from Zack's answer to this question:
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After my post last week about the lie-ridden Catholic propaganda being distributed to young people, an acquaintance of mine inquired as to why I feel the need to write anti-Catholic posts so often. Among the comments he made on my Facebook profile were: Could you go a week without bashing -- just let us be who we are?
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Well, I could, except that that is exactly what Catholicism does not do for gay people. It’s amazing how often leaders of the Catholic Church (or its messaging) glibly rail on gay people. (These are the same folks whose salaries are paid by your tithing, by the way.)
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I don’t know if you’ve noticed what the cultural environment is like for gay people right now, but we’ve finally been hearing about the many suicides committed by people who are persecuted for being perceived as gay. Where do all those bullies get their message?
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The Catholic Church is a big source. Take a look at this Catholic Action insight from Cardinal-Designate Raymond L. Burke (hat tip Joe Jervis). You’ll note that commenting on the video has been disabled. Opponents of the gay community thinks this gives their message more power because there is no room for dissent; I think it just shows how insecure they are.



Did you catch that? First he said: There is a discrimination which is perfectly just and good and namely that’s the discrimination between what is right and what is wrong. Then, he goes onto say that “people with same-sex attractions” are people who “suffer” and that this attraction is “not right” that they should “correct in themselves” this attraction. So discrimination between right and wrong is okay. People who are gay are not right. Thus, it’s okay to discriminate against gays. See how obvious the message is?
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Now, to all you folks out there who say, “Those are just beliefs,” you’re wrong. They are fallacies and they are incredibly hurtful. They’re not just different point of view; they are, in fact, wrong.
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So yes, every time religious organizations try to use their beliefs to perpetuate discrimination against gay people, I’m going to call it out and hold the religious organization accountable for the harm it propagates.
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Maybe if Catholic Church leaders stopped demonizing us and spreading the message that we’re sinners and in great need of help I wouldn’t have to keep writing about how archaic and dangerous it is.

More Wednesday Male Beauty

Tomorrow, November 4th Is the Last Day To Buy Legends Tickets

Ticket sales for the 2010 Legends Gala close at 5:00 PM tomorrow. If local readers have not bought your tickets, go to the Equality Virginia website here and do so. It is going to be a wonderful event and the boyfriend and I hope to see you there. P.S. There is a sponsored open bar cocktail hour as well as wonderful food.

November 6th, 2010 Renaissance Hotel, Portsmouth, Virginia
5PM - 6PM - Pre-Event Cocktail Party in private VIP room

6PM - 1AM - Main Masquerade Casino Event

Click here to get your tickets now!
2010 Steering Committee
Felix Borges – Chair

Carlton Hardy – Community Relations & Nomination Chair

Shannon Bowman – Sponsorship & Marketing Chair

Maurice Roebuck – Logistics Chair

Mark Board, Richard Caden, Edward Cassidy, Cynthia Cutler, Michael Hamar, Claus Ihlemann
Barry Kavy, Beedee McMillian, Cheryl Scott ,Ann Vernon, Mike Whitehurst

PFLAG Annouces Chapter In Southwest Virginia

As bad as things often seem in the Hampton Roads area of Virginia, things are wonderful compared to the situation in Southwestern Virginia where, frankly, if I had to live there, suicide might indeed look like a most attractive option. During the course of the Michael Moore v. Virginia Museum of Natural History case (Moore was fired by the Museum for being gay and Tom Kaine, now DNC chair did absolutely nothing to enforce his own executive order) I visited Martinsville, Virginia twice. Yes, the area has great physical beauty, but socially, the place is like something out of Deliverance in terms of the attitudes towards LGBT citizens. Indeed, when I returned to Norfolk, it seem the cosmopolitan center of the gay universe in comparison. Living in southwest Virginia must be most grim if one is LGBT. Thankfully, PFLAG has launched a chapter in this region of backwardness and homophobia. It's a much needed addition to what I view as a very bleak landscape - a landscape that does nothing to encourage progressive and imaginative businesses to want relocate to that part of Virginia. As I have stated before, anti-gay bigotry and the embracing of ignorance in general does carry an economic cost. This is a reality that is lost on Southwest Virginia and the occupants of Virginia's governor's mansion and the office of the Attorney General. Out in Roanoke has the details. Here are some highlights:
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PFLAG-Parents. Family and Friends of Lesbians and Gays have started a chapter in Southwest Virginia, to be located in Abingdon. The name is PFLAG- Abingdon/Washington County Chapter and will hold its first meeting Thursday, November 11, from 6:30 pm until 8:30 pm, and the second Thursday of each month thereafter, founder Dexter Tenney announced today. The Chapter will serve all of Washington and surrounding counties of Southwest Virginia.
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"Our LGBTQ citizens and their parents have been underserved in this area for too long, and now is the time for change".
The recent incidents of gay teenage suicides have been the catalyst for us taking action now. A support group has been in the planning stages for two years. This should serve as a wakeup call to all Americans; especially in rural areas were LGBTQ support is lacking. We have done our homework and the need is here, right in our own back door.
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Our local chapter website is http://www.wix.com/oscar1029/pflag--virginia-highlands.
. . . . For more information contact Dexter Tenney at 276-614-7319

In Virginia the Enthusiasm Gap Was Very Real - Thanks in Large Part to the White House

In 2008, Virginia trended blue on the promise of hope and systemic change which was the hallmark of Barack Obama's in retrospect completely disingenuous campaign. A number of Republican seats in Congress went Democrat and there was much talk that Virginia was now "purple." Not anymore. Virginia is back to strongly red. Some fault lies with the various Democratic Congressional candidates, some of whom tried to be all things to all people and ended up standing for nothing. Many other, however, were swept out of power by the disgust and lack of enthusiasm aimed at national Democrats for their failure to deliver on promises. The result, Democrat turn out was significantly down. In some cases by almost 60%. (a point I will get to shortly) I had feared that the 2010 midterms would be a reprise of the 2009 elections in Virginia and, sadly, I was totally correct. The Democrats need to grow a spine and they need to be planning for a new standard bearer in the 2012 presidential elections or else 2012 will likely be another debacle. Currently, the Democrats' number 1 liability is the occupant of the White House. An op-ed piece in the Los Angles Times looks at how Obama, a/k/a the Liar-in-Chief, set the stage for yesterday's debacle. Here are some highlights:
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President Obama entered office wrapped in a mantle of moral leadership. His call for change was rooted in values that had long been eclipsed in our public life: a sense of mutual responsibility, commitment to equality and belief in inclusive diversity. Those values inspired a new generation of voters, restored faith to the cynical and created a national movement.
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Now, 18 months and an "enthusiasm gap" later, the nation's major challenges remain largely unmet, and a discredited conservative movement has reinvented itself in a more virulent form.
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It is the result, ironically, of poor leadership choices. Abandoning the "transformational" model of his presidential campaign, Obama has tried to govern as a "transactional" leader. These terms were coined by political scientist James MacGregor Burns 30 years ago. "Transformational" leadership engages followers in the risky and often exhilarating work of changing the world, work that often changes the activists themselves.
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Obama and his team made three crucial choices that undermined the president's transformational mission. First, he abandoned the bully pulpit of moral argument and public education. Next, he chose to lead with a politics of compromise rather than advocacy. And finally, he chose to demobilize the movement that elected him president. By shifting focus from a public ready to drive change — as in "yes we can" — he shifted the focus to himself and attempted to negotiate change from the inside, as in "yes I can."
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In his transactional leadership mode, the president chose compromise rather than advocacy. Instead of speaking on behalf of a deeply distressed public, articulating clear positions to lead opinion and inspire public support, Obama seemed to think that by acting as a mediator, he could translate Washington dysfunction into legislative accomplishment. Confusing bipartisanship in the electorate with bipartisanship in Congress, he lost the former by his feckless pursuit of the latter, empowering the very people most committed to bringing down his presidency.
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Out in the hinterland, Obama's leadership failure translated into a betrayal of those who put him and the now lost Democrat majority in office. Gays, labor, Hispanics and everyday working people were thrown under the bus as Obama courted the GOP and gave away important issue after important issue. I wrote about the problem in the lead up to the 2009 Virginia elections and the cancer clearly metastasized over the following year. And what were the enthusiasm gap consequences in Virginia? Blue Virginia has powerful documentation of the drop in Democrat turn out compared to 2008. The Democrats did abysmally on turnout compared to the GOP. Only Rick Boucher's district and the 5th District which includes Charlottesville, Virginia's most liberal and politically engaged city, matched GOP turnout. Even in these districts it was not enough. Here are some highlights:
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Now, let's rank the candidates from lowest to highest drop off, as a way to measure how effectively they got out their votes yesterday compared to the vote for president in 2008. Also, keep in mind that Republicans were more energized this year than in 2008, but obviously that's not the only factor at work here, given Rick Boucher's and Tom Perriello's excellent GOTV numbers.
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1. Rick Boucher: -20%
2. Frank Wolf: -27%
3. Robert Hurt: -28%
4. Randy Forbes: -29%
4. Keith Fimian: -29%
6. Tom Perriello: -30%
6. Rob Wittman: -30%
8. Bob Goodlatte: -31%
9. Eric Cantor: -33%
10. Scott Rigell: -36%
11. Chuck Smith: -38%
12. Morgan Griffith: -40%
13. Gerry Connolly: -47%
14. Bobby Scott: -50%
14. Jim Moran: -50%
16. Glenn Nye: -51%
17. Rick Waugh: -55%
18. Wynne LeGrow: -59%
18. Krystal Ball: -59%
20. Jeff Barnett: -65%

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Turn out was critical and far too many Virginia felt that there was no reason to go out and vote given the Democrats massive failure to deliver on campaign promises and effect change. The root of the problem emanates from the White House and I have zero confidence that the Liar-in-Chief learned anything from yesterday's disaster. The Democrats need to be looking NOW for a new presidential nominee for 2012.

Wednesday Male Beauty

NOM Hate Merchants Take Down Iowa Supreme Court Justices

In a very troubling result, three justices of the Iowa Supreme Court - the court that unanimously ruled in favor of same sex marriage - have not been retained as a result of yesterday's vote. Make no mistake about what this means. NOM and its self-enriching fat cow leader, a/k/a Maggie Gallagher will be working to intimidate judges nationwide from this moment forward since these purveyors of anti-gay hatred know that the courts offer the best opportunity for LGBT Americans to achieve full civil equality. I'm sure Gallagher is thrilled with the results and sees herself with a great meal ticket for years to come as she and her fellow Christofascists work to destroy an independent judiciary and impose the Christian equivalent of sharia law accross the nation. It sickens me and again makes me wonder if long term getting the Hell out of the USA isn't the best goal for LGBT citizens. I tremble at what the older homophobic generation guided by Gallagher and similar whores of hatred may inflict on the country before the old reactionaries and bigots die off. Here are some highlights from the Des Moines Register:
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Three Iowa Supreme Court justices lost their seats Tuesday in a historic upset fueled by their 2009 decision that allowed same-sex couples to marry. Vote totals from 96 percent of Iowa's 1,774 precincts showed Chief Justice Marsha Ternus and Justices David Baker and Michael Streit with less than the simple majority needed to stay on the bench. Their removal marked the first time an Iowa Supreme Court justice has not been retained since 1962, when the merit selection and retention system for judges was adopted.
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The decision is expected to echo to courts throughout the country, as conservative activists had hoped.*
In a statement issued early today, the three justices said: "We hope Iowans will continue to support Iowa's merit selection system for appointing judges. This system helps ensure that judges base their decisions on the law and the Constitution and nothing else. Ultimately, however, the preservation of our state's fair and impartial courts will require more than the integrity and fortitude of individual judges, it will require the steadfast support of the people."
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"In the end, the aggressive campaign to misuse the judicial retention vote, funded by out-of-state special interests, has succeeded," Drake University Law School Dean Allan Vestal said. "The loss of these three justices is most unfortunate, and the damage to our judicial system and the merit selection of judges will take much to repair."
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Groups that wanted the justices ousted poured more than $650,000 into their effort, with heavy support from out-of-state conservative and religious groups. Campaigns that supported the justices and the current state court system spent more than $200,000.
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Two Polk County judges who faced retention challenges survived with more than 60 percent of the vote, as did all of their colleagues at Iowa's largest courthouse. Judge Robert Hanson, who sided with six same-sex couples in the Polk County District Court ruling, was retained with 66 percent support once all precincts were counted. Polk County District Judge Scott Rosenberg, targeted in a last-minute automated phone campaign for signing one gay couple's marriage waiver, kept his seat on the bench with 69 percent.
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The retention challenge triggered a battle never seen in Iowa's judicial history. Television, radio and Internet ads portrayed the justices as both activists and referees. Robo-calls urged a "no" vote. U.S. Rep. Steve King embarked on a statewide bus tour to rally "no" voters.

A Post Mortem on Yesterday

UPDATED: Lowell at Blue Virginia looks at the "winners" and "loser" from yesterday that makes a great read. One of my favorites, however is this under the "losers' section:

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Barack Obama's political advisors. If this were medieval Japan, the political "professionals" advising President Obama would all be falling on their swords this morning, having failed miserably to provide sound advice, a workable strategy, a coherent/appealing message, or any ability whatsoever to market Democratic successes (e.g., that we cut taxes for 98% of Americans, got all the TARP money back, etc., etc.). Given that this is the Democratic Party, these people will most likely go on to long and lucrative careers, having suffered no consequences for their utter failure yesterday. Sadly, what else is new?

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Yesterday's election results were a disaster for progressives in many ways with absolute racists and homophobes scheduled to join the GOP in Congress and in many other elected offices. Who is to blame? The Democrats and the occupant of the White House first and foremost. Spinelessness, timidity and a lunatic quest for bipartisanship that was dead before the first moment of Obama's presidency passed. The result has been half measures and a litany of broken campaign promises that demonstrated to many - especially younger voters - that in terms of getting the nation's problems fixed, voting accomplishes nothing. Yes, it's a short sighted view, by the Liar-in-Chief made that lesson number 1 of the last two years. I hope the bastard (and those who voted for racists, homophobes, and worshipers of ignorance) is happy with what will now face him over the next two years. For the Democrats, the work is cut out for them: (1) refind their message and a backbone and (2) find a different candidate for the White House in 2012 - namely, anyone who has a spine and might actually try to deliver on promises. Obama simply needs to go. I just wish we did not have to wait two years to get rid of him . Here are some highlights from E.J. Dionne's column in the Washington Post:
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President Obama allowed Republicans to define the terms of the nation's political argument for the past two years and permitted them to draw battle lines the way they wanted. Neither he nor his party can let that happen again.
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Democrats held onto moderate voters while losing independents. What hurt them most was this brute fact: Voters younger than 30 made up 18 percent of the electorate in 2008 but only about half that on Tuesday, according to network exit polls. This verdict was rendered by a much older and much more conservative electorate. Yes, there was an enthusiasm gap.
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This only underscored that Tuesday's results mark the beginning of the next round, not the end of the contest. Before the next election - which will be decided by a broader electorate - progressives, including Obama, have to be wiser about the fights they pick, more focused on the country's economic pain, and as shrewd as their adversaries have been in promoting debates that rally their troops and advance their goals.
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Now Obama needs to offer proposals that advance the common interest and progressive ideals in ways that force Republicans to pay a price for opposing them. . . . . Obama should also push forward with an infrastructure bank, which has bipartisan support. There is no better time to rebuild our nation's crumbling public facilities than when borrowing is cheap. And he should address the decline of American manufacturing, a prime cause of the discontent that roils the Midwest.
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Republicans need to be pressed to put specifics behind their anti-spending, anti-deficit rhetoric. They should be confronted with budget cuts that force them to face their constituencies. Farm subsidies are not sacred, nor is spending for weapons systems the Pentagon says it doesn't need, nor are hundreds of millions in tax expenditures and preferences. And if Republicans continue to insist on tax cuts for the wealthy, they should have to identify spending cuts to cover the costs.
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Progressives believe in a government that promotes modestly more equality, regulates business in the public interest and sees public action as promoting American competitiveness. This election didn't change that. It is a setback for progressives, not a permanent defeat. They took real losses but held their own in the Senate and in key governors' races. The real showdown takes place in two years - and with the electorate equally disapproving of both Republicans and Democrats, that battle is wide open.
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I believe that Dionne's analysis is correct. However, on the issue of whether or not this White House is up to the task required of it, in my view the answer is a resounding "No." If it were, we'd be seeing a different morning after election day result this morning. Obama needs to go and the Democrats had better start finding a replacement immediately.

A Rabbi Takes Down Anti-Gay Bigotry Based on Bible Literalism

A reader in Washington, D.C., sent me a link to a Wall Street Journal op-ed written by Rabbi Boteach that displays a rational approach to the Bible and demonstrates the hypocrisy of the Christianists and others who selectively parse the Bible to condemn gays while ignoring the big picture and most certainly subverting the Gospel message of Christ. The column is particularly relevant as I cringe watching election returns confirming that more Christofascists will be walking the halls of Congress in the next session. Sadly, these individuals will not be embracing Rabbi Boteach's rationality when it comes to efforts to inflict their religious beliefs on other citizens. To me, the principal fruits of the Bible - at least as applied by the Christianists and similar ultra-conservatives - are hate, intolerance and misery to others. What's ironic is that the original basis in the Bible for the condemnation of gays is found in the Old Testament. That's right, the portion of the Bible that originated with the Jews, not Christians. St. Paul, a conflicted Pharisee who some speculate was a homosexual himself - and in Thomas Jefferson's view the worse thing to ever happen to Christianity - sadly cherry picked these Old Testament scraps into the Epistles. But in this column we have a rabbi telling the Christianists who have hijacked the Old Testament that they are wrong in their twisting and misapplication of selective passages. Here are highlights from the column:
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Some people of faith insist that homosexuality is gravely sinful because the Bible calls it an "abomination." But that word appears approximately 122 times in the Bible. Eating nonkosher food is an "abomination" (Deuteronomy 14:3). A woman returning to her first husband after being married in the interim is an "abomination" (Deuteronomy 24:4). Bringing a blemished sacrifice on God's altar is an abomination (Deuteronomy 17:1). Proverbs goes so far as to label envy, lying and gossip "an abomination to [the Lord]" (3:32, 16:22).
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As an orthodox Rabbi, I do not deny the biblical prohibition on male same-sex relationships. I simply place it in context. There are 613 commandments in the Torah. One is to refrain from gay sex. Another is for men and women to marry and have children. So when Jewish gay couples tell me they have never been attracted to members of the opposite sex and are desperately alone, I tell them, "You have 611 commandments left. That should keep you busy.
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I once asked Pat Robertson, "Why can't you simply announce to all gay men and women, 'Come to Church. Whatever relationship you're in, God wants you to pray. He wants you to give charity. He wants you to lead a godly life." He answered to the effect that homosexuality is too important to overlook, as it is the greatest threat to marriage and the family. Other evangelical leaders have told me the same. But with one of every two heterosexual marriages failing, much of the Internet dedicated to degrading women through pornography, and a culture that is materially insatiable while all-too spiritually content, can we straight people really say that gays are ruining our families? We've done a mighty fine job of it ourselves, thank you very much.
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Homosexuality is a religious, not a moral, sin. A moral sin involves injury to an innocent party. Who is harmed when two unattached, consenting adults are in a relationship? Homosexuality is akin to the prohibition against lighting fire on the Sabbath or eating bread during Passover; there is nothing immoral about it . . . gay marriage doesn't represent the end of Western civilization. The real killer is the tsunami of divorce and the untold disruption to children who become yo-yos going from house to house on weekends.
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The Bible says, "It is not good for man to be alone." All I ask from my religious brethren is this: Even as you oppose gay relationships because of your beliefs, please be tortured by your opposition. Understand that when our most deeply held beliefs conflicts with our basic humanity, we should feel the tragedy of the conflict, not find convenient scapegoats upon whom to blame America's ills.

More Tuesday Male Beauty

Christofascist Rigell Beats Incumbent Nye in 2nd Virginia District

We'll never know if the election results would have been different if the Virginian Pilot (depicted in the blue pants in the photo) had not deliberately refused to print a story on Scott Rigell's ties to a registered anti-gay hate group. However, we can pretty safely figure out why the nasty rag of a newspaper killed the story: Rigell's dealerships under the Freedom Automotive umbrella spend big bucks advertising with the Pilot. The other possibility is that from my personal encounters with Frank Batten, Jr. - whose family controls the Pilot - Batten, in my opinion, is a far right Christian and likely drinks the same Kool-Aid as Rigell. It's disgusting and, in my opinion, is yet another example of bad political consequences resulting from journalistic malpractice and prostitution. The only good news is that the Pilot's circulation numbers continue to drop as more and more area residents realize that the only way to get accurate news coverage is via the Internet and papers from outside the area. Increasingly, the Pilot's only value is for store coupons or as a liner for a bird cage. Here's a sampling of the Pilot's crowing over Rigell (excuse me as I vomit):

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Scott Rigell, a Republican who pledged to promote job growth by cutting federal taxes and reducing regulations on business, defeated Democratic incumbent Glenn Nye on Tuesday in Virginia’s 2nd District.
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Rigell, 50, a multimillionaire car dealer making his first run for public office, won the close race after a 16-month campaign that was funded mostly with his own money.
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Fueled by a $3 million campaign fund that included close to $2 million of his own money, Rigell used marketing skills developed over two decades of selling automobiles to get out his name and his message. The campaign’s mantra, Rigell said, was “operation domination.”
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With all that money, the Pilot must feel secure that Rigell's advertising revenue teet will remain available to it. The message to area LGBT residents? Cancel your subscription to the Pilot and avoid it's advertisers. Oh, and moving from Virginia might not be a bad move either.

Suicide and Its Survivors

I have spoken candidly in the past about my suicide attempts. More recently, there has been considerable discussion of the highly reported suicides of a number of gay teens. Some of the deaths were reported to be the results of anti-gay bullying. My own attempts were driven largely by the combined stress of being forced from a law firm for being gay and a divorce case that often seemed aimed at destroying me. In every case of suicide, I suspect (at least based on my own experience) the motivating thought of the parties attempting or completing suicide was simply a desire to make the pain stop. We must continue to deliver the message that things do get better. However, what is missing from the equation is what suicide does to surviving family members. A dear friend of mine is a survivor of suicide and recently she shared this message with me and sent me a link to a old news series done by the Virginian Pilot (even a biased rag newspaper like the Pilot gets something right once in a while) that looked at the pain and recovery process of survivors. I would encourage those contemplating suicide to read the full series to better understand what their death would do to others whom they love. With my friend's permission, here is the message I received along with the story link:
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I wanted to share this video and article with you all...Ryan's suicide split life into two parts...Life before and life after...Life will never and can never be the same. That is not a piteous statement, it is truth. Ryan was my heart. He was a champion for the underdog, a horticulturist, an environmentalist, an activist and a believer in righting wrongs. He bore the weight of the world on his shoulders. He was quiet, strong, steady and wise beyond his years. He had a smile that breaks my heart just to think about it, so beautiful. He was shy and unassuming, a gentle kind soul. He was 36 yrs. old.
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It is very important that steps be taken to help those considering suicide. Likewise it is crucially important that forces like anti-gay bullying or general homophobia be ended so that these triggers can no longer lead to the needless loss of lives. Not surprisingly, at least in my view, one of the forces that has impeded a proactive approach to suicide prevention and an honest discussion of the problem is that constant wellspring of evil: religion. Here are some brief highlights from the series of pieces:
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We kill ourselves more often than we kill each other. If that surprises you, it's no wonder. Suicide hides behind whispers. As if by turning our faces, we could make it go away. It hasn't. Suicide has outpaced homicide for at least 100 years.
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On an average day, roughly 90 Americans kill themselves. Those losses are changing a long history of hush-hush. People are starting to talk about suicide, and they don't care if it's unpleasant.
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Much of the stigma surrounding suicide is rooted in religion. For centuries, the act was largely seen as an unforgivable sin - an instant, one-way ticket to damnation. In the Roman Catholic Church, suicides were refused a Christian funeral. They could not be buried in consecrated ground. While the Bible does not address the topic head-on, old views were based on the idea that a person who committed suicide had abandoned all faith in God. Since death followed immediately, there was no opportunity to repent. Even a murderer stood a better chance on Judgment Day. As long as one lived, there was time for forgiveness.
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One of my former therapists (he's an ordained Presbyterian minister) who helped me immeasurably in overcoming the religious anti-gay brainwashing I received in the Catholic Church had this to say in the article:
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Bill Hedrick is executive director of Tidewater Pastoral Counseling Services, a group of local clergy who also act as counselors. Hedrick said attitudes still vary, even within religions. . . . Hedrick looks at it this way: "I think we have a loving God who's probably more forgiving than he is condemning. I can't believe He would sentence someone to eternal torment when they were already so tormented in life."
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For those who have lost loved ones, the series also looks at support groups that assist those left behind:
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Support groups like SOS are part of an evolution aimed at ending suicide's long, dark history. They offer help, hope and healing instead of secrecy and shame. About 300 SOS-type groups have popped up across the country. Gilchrist, a licensed clinical social worker, started the Hampton Roads chapter nearly 20 years ago, making it the oldest group of its kind in Virginia.
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They lay bare their sorrows and assure each other that the suicides were not their fault. They learn that their loved ones did not have a character flaw but a sickness that robbed them of any notion of the wreckage they would cause. They find comfort in new phrases. Their lost ones "completed" suicide; only criminals "commit" something.