Saturday, May 15, 2010

Saturday Male Beauty


Ken Cuccinelli versus the University of Virginia

The ongoing battle between Virginia Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, a/k/a Cooch, a/k/a Ken Kookinelli, appears to be heating up. As readers may recall, Kookinelli is demanding that UVA turn over documentation on climate change and global warming that doesn't comport with Kookinelli's delusional views. The Washington Post in its May 13th editorial has encouraged UVA to fight back and now it appears the University may be about to do just that. As Rosalind Helderman at the Post is reporting, UVA has hired legal counsel to assist it in responding to Kookinelli's attempts to intimidate the university and researchers at other state affiliated colleges and universities. As a long time Virginia resident, from the beginning I have thought Kookinelli an idiot for taking on UVA. With its huge alumni base and influence throughout the state it is definitely a risky political move and one that will come back to bite Kookinelli sharply in the ass. First, some highlights from the Post's editorial:
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VIRGINIA ATTORNEY General Ken Cuccinelli II has decided to misuse state funds in his personal war against climate science. But that doesn't mean anyone else should cooperate.
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The University of Virginia has until next week to challenge the attorney general's demand that it turn over vast numbers of documents written by or relating to Michael Mann, one of the most famous American climate scientists, who worked at U-Va. from 1999 to 2005. The attorney general wants the university to hand over practically every document Mr. Mann touched during his years at U-Va., including correspondence between him and a long list of other prominent climate scientists.
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Mr. Cuccinelli, apparently, speculates that Mr. Mann defrauded taxpayers by obtaining research grants to study global temperatures. It's clear from his statements that the "Climategate" controversy -- in which hackers stole records of e-mails between climate researchers that global warming skeptics then distorted -- inspired his witch hunt. Is there any doubt that the attorney general is trying to restoke that row with a fresh batch of e-mails?
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In the process, he would deal grave harm to scientific inquiry throughout Virginia's public higher education system. Science progresses when researchers can propose ideas freely, differ in their methods and argue about the interpretations of their results. The commonwealth should nurture that process, not make scientists fear that they will be subject to investigation if a politician dislikes their conclusions.
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But it [UVA] must file a challenge. Moreover, Gov. Robert F. McDonnell should join the dozens of others -- including some of Mr. Mann's harshest critics -- in condemning Mr. Cuccinelli, lest he be implicated in this assault on reason.
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Kookinelli is a buffoon, but a very dangerous buffoon since he will not hesitate to misuse the power of his office to further his own delusional and warped views. He is untethered from reality and he views everything through a crazy and theocratic perspective. It is a huge embarrassment that he was elected to state wide office. I sincerely hope that he will find that he challenged the wrong foe in this fight. Here are highlights on UVA's engagement of legal counsel in this dispute:
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The University of Virginia has hired the big law firm Hogan Lovells to help the school evaluate its options in responding to a civil subpoena from the state attorney general seeking documents related to the work of a former professor. It's the strongest indication yet that the school is seriously considering fighting the subpoena in court, as various academic groups have urged.

"The University and its Board of Visitors believe it is important to respond to this [civil information demand]," said John O. Wynne, the Rector of the university, in his first statement on the issue. "Research universities must defend the privilege of academic freedom in the creation of new knowledge. Hogan Lovells will help us to explore the appropriate options for a response."
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Dealing with the legal issues is tricky for the university's own general counsel's office, because its members are formally employees of the attorney general's office. In the university's most lengthy statement to date on the issue, U.Va. president John T. Casteen III referred to a statement issued by the faculty senate criticizing Cuccinelli's Civil Investigative Demand as an attack on academic freedom.
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Personally, I continue to believe that a psychological assessment of Kookinelli would conclude that the man is NOT sane and hence ought to be removed from office. Meanwhile, Bob McDonnell should be forced to take a position on Kookinelli's misguided jihad against the university and academic freedom.

Senator Jim Webb Responds to Blog Posts

One thing about being a blogger is that you never know who may be reading what you write and/or what kind of sensitive nerve you might touch upon. A case in point is an e-mail I received Friday afternoon in response to a post here on Michael-in-Norfolk and a similar version on The Bilerico Project that raised concerns about Virginia U.S. Senator Jim Webb's support for the repeal of Don't Ask Don't Tell. Who was the e-mail from? The author of the e-mail was Jessica Smith, Senator Webb's Communications Director. As requested by Ms. Smith, I am sharing the Senator's response which is set out below in its entirety. Set out further below is the response I sent back to the Senator's office. Here is the statement from Jim Webb's office:

Michael:

I read your blog posts yesterday, and before we wrap up the week, I wanted to clear up some misinformation and inaccurate conclusions you've drawn regarding Senator Webb's position, background, and outreach around "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."

As someone who has spent his life in and around the military and who currently serves as the Chairman of the Personnel Subcommittee of the Senate Committee on Armed Services, no one should doubt Senator Webb's commitment to the well-being of our men and women in uniform and their families.

He has also cosponsored measures in Congress to prevent discrimination and protect the fundamental rights of all Americans, including the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) and the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act.

With respect to the issue at hand, Senator Webb agrees that a review of the current "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy is appropriate and timely. He believes that Secretary of Defense Gates and Admiral Mullen announced a responsible and careful approach toward the policy's examination. He strongly agrees that this approach must involve the full, open input and engagement of those serving in uniform today, including our military leadership, our active duty service members in all services and at all levels, and their family members.

This deliberative approach mirrors the process that Senator Webb employed in 1987 when, as Secretary of the Navy, he opened up more billets to women than any Secretary of the Navy in history. He convened a special study group, reporting back to him through the Navy's uniformed leadership, that conducted a thorough examination of the Navy's assignment policies and other issues. His approval of the study group's recommendations led to a large expansion in the number of sea-going billets available to women officers and enlisted personnel.

During today's consideration of the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy, the Senator and members of our staff have met with dozens of military service organizations, active-duty military, veterans, and other stakeholders. Although the Senator has not met with Elaine Donnelly personally during this process, members of our staff have met with her, as well as with representatives of the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, Equality United, Servicemembers United, the Human Rights Campaign, and other groups seeking repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." These interactions have ensured that the Senator and our office are more fully informed on their concerns and their reasons for having the law repealed.

Senator Webb has taken a serious, deliberative approach to examine and address this policy. Because this issue is so important to your readers, it is my hope that you will share this information with them.

Thank you,
Jessica Smith
Senator Webb's Communications Director
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This is my response back to Senator Webb's Communications Director, Jessica Smith:
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Dear Ms. Smith,
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Thank you for the message. I will review it and write about it. I will also share it - and this response - with some of the other bloggers and activists that I know personally who share my views on the need to repeal DADT THIS YEAR.
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Personally, regardless of Senator Webb's explanation, I see the Pentagon review as a transparent stalling tactic. Numerous allies have already taken an approach of allowing gays to openly serve with no difficulties. Moreover, U.S. troops are interacting with allied troops that include openly gay military service members. The world has not ended. To claim that somehow U.S. service members are more bigoted or less able to go with the new program than members of foreign armies and navies is insulting to our troops. You might like to read the report referenced in this story: http://advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/05/14/Smooth_Transition_for_Military_Gays_in_US_Allies/ Here's the link to the report itself: http://www.law.columbia.edu/null/download?&exclusive=filemgr.download&file_id=164384 Here are highlights from the report's executive summary:
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No significant problems have arisen as a result of a transition to open service. Notably, not one country studied in this report has made any changes to its housing or bathrooms. Moreover, although all the countries studied in this report have reported scattered incidents of harassment, this report also shows that there has been no pervasive discrimination against or harassment of gay and lesbian servicemembers. While some countries achieved a successful transition through educational and sensitivity training, others have not addressed harassment of gay and lesbian servicemembers in their trainings. The common thread, instead, has been an emphasis on strong leadership and a clear statement of the behavior that is expected of servicemembers. This report also shows that none of the countries studied have experienced a decline in unit cohesion or morale. To the contrary, many of the countries studied have seen an increase in morale due to a servicemember’s increased ability to focus on work rather than hiding their sexual orientation and a decrease in paranoia and suspicion as a result of the new open environment.
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The claim that a lengthy study is needed simply is a dog that doesn't hunt. There is no need to recreate the wheel when other nations have already done it.
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If you have read my personal blog, Michael-in-Norfolk as well as the posts I write on The Bilerico Project, you will know that I know many gays now in the military. Some hold significant rank and responsibilities. I know others who made it to retirement like the current chair of Equality Virginia who served 20 years in the Air Force. Further, I also know a number who have been outed by unnamed sources, subjected to witch hunts and discharged just shy of reaching retirement.
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It is a travesty that patriotic and honorable citizens are treated like lepers. Especially since we are talking about a policy that in the final analysis is based on 100% religious based discrimination. Don't Ask, Don't Tell makes a mockery of the supposed freedom of religion guaranteed by the U. S. Constitution. DADT deprives gays of their constitutional right to freedom of religion, plain and simple. I have stated numerous times that if he had a backbone and/or had meant what he said during the 2008 campaign, President Obama would take action and suspend discharges pending Congressional repeal. Obama has proven to be no Harry Truman, as noted by Truman's grandson.
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The reality is that November is going to be a potentially tough time for Democrats. Locally, Glenn Nye is going to face a very tough challenge. While Glenn supports ENDA, he and Senator Webb have yet to deliver on ENDA or DADT. Because of this, many in the LGBT community - myself and my partner included - are seriously debating whether it is worth bothering to vote in November. The Democrats have held the White House and majorities in both houses of Congress and yet all we see on DADT and ENDA are delay. Perhaps deliberate delay.
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Meanwhile, different Democrat fund raisers call and look for LGBT money, grass roots support and votes - I received one such call just yesterday from the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee. I refused to give money and told the caller why. We get nothing in return. Hence why I and others support the "Don't Ask, Don't Give" campaign started by John Aravosis at America Blog. Politics is a two way street - although too many elected officials seem to forget that fact - and I intend to continue the drum beat for a repeal of DADT THIS YEAR and for passage of ENDA.
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Sincerely,
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Michael Hamar
Hampton/Norfolk, Virginia
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I also suggested that Senator Webb have a representative attend the HRBOR event on May 20, 2010 via a separate e-mail message.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Support for Same-Sex Marriage is Growing

Click image to enlarge

One thing that is striking is the extent to which acceptance of same sex marriage correlates with a state's level of social and economic progress. Alabama and Mississippi where gay marriage is least accepted are also the poorest and most backward states in the nation. Once again, religious based bigotry and intolerance does carry a significant price.

Courage versus Bravery – The Danger of the Closet

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Friday Male Beauty

Pope Says Gay Marriage is 'Insidious and Dangerous'

All I can presume is that when Papa Ratzi uttered the words "dangerous and insidious" he was actually looking in the mirror or looking at the members of the College of Cardinals. It would seem that a world wide conspiracy by the Church hierarchy to cover up the sexual abuse of tens of thousands of children and youth is a bigger threat to society than marriage between two individuals of the same sex who love one another. Sadly, that's not the case in the warped view of pedophile protector Papa Ratzi. The Church's refusal to accept modern knowledge about sexual orientation and its never ending obsession with all things sexual continue to make it more and more of a modern day "flat earth" cult. As I have said before, subconsciously (or maybe consciously) anti-gay religious extremists know that if the Bible's condemnation of same sex relations is wrong, then their entire artificial word begins to unravel. Thus, the jihad against gays will unfortunately continue until the Church where the Church must either change or die out. Here are some highlights from The Telegraph:
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In a strongly worded attack, Benedict XVI insisted that marriage should be founded on the "indissoluble" marriage between a man and a woman. Addressing a huge crowd at the shrine of Fatima at the climax of his four day visit to Portugal, the 83-year-old Pope said that same sex marriage and abortion were among the "most insidious and dangerous challenges that today confront the common good."
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The Vatican regards being homosexual as a "deviation" and an "irregularity" and the act of homosexual sex as a sin.
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In December a leading Roman Catholic cardinal reinforced the message, saying that homosexuality was an "insult to God" and that homosexuals and transsexuals will never go to heaven. In remarks which outraged gay rights groups, Cardinal Javier Lozano Barragan, 76, claimed that people were not born homosexual, but chose to embrace homosexuality of their own free will.
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The Pope's remarks carried particular resonance for his host country – three years ago Portugal decriminalised abortion and it is now on the verge of legalising homosexual unions. A law allowing same-sex marriage was passed by parliament in February. President Anibal Cavaco Silva, a practising Catholic, is expected to sign the bill into law by May 17, three days after the end of the papal visit. His ratification would make Portugal the sixth country in Europe to allow same-sex marriages after Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Sweden and Norway.
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The true irony will, of course, be when gays and transgender people find themselves in Heaven and Benedict and other gay-haters are shocked to find themselves in Hell for the evils they have perpetrated in the name of God.

NEWS & POLITICS AlterNet / By Michael Rogers 10 COMMENTS 'Rentboy' Minister Got $120K Taxpayer Dollars From Fla. GOP Gov Candidate

Mike Rogers has a great post over at AlterNet that ought to be a warning/lesson to GOP politicians who are so busy trying to as kiss the far right religious extremists that they set themselves up to be paraded out as fool when the lies of the Christianists begin to unravel. Florida's Attorney General (and GOP gubernatorial candidate) Bill McCollum - pictured at left - is a case in point and now his pandering to the far right by hiring rent boy loving George Rekers is coming home to roost. Either McCollum is a fool or he was funneling money to Christianist allies to try to prove his far right bona fides. Either way, his involvement with Rekers and his squandering of $120,000 in taxpayer money on testimony he had to was false and labeled so by other courts is justifiably biting him in the ass. Here are some highlights which hopefully other GOP candidates will take a lesson from and think twice before they get in bed with professional gay-haters and faux Christians like Rekers (in Virginia, The Family Foundation is just as fraudulent as Rekers, yet GOP politicians still grovel and kiss Victoria Cobb's ring):
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When George Rekers, the 61-year-old founder of the rabidly anti-gay Family Research Council showed up full of junk science, discredited testimony and a willingness to say anything to defend Florida's ban on gays adopting children, McCollum saw an ideological bargain at any price.
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This, of course, is the same George Rekers that cable TV pundits comedians and bloggers have had a field day with after he was caught returning from a two-week European vacation with a male escort he'd hired from Rentboy.com. While rentboy (codename Lucien) says Rekers paid him for nude sexual massages, Rekers said the 20-year old was only there to "carry his luggage." (See: "hiking the Appalachian Trail" and "wide stance.")
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[T]he real story has little to do with an anti-gay leader hiring a male prostitute on rentboy.com; it's the story of yet another Republican elected official actively funding fraud with public money.
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Rekers is part of a small cadre of homophobes-for-hire who charge top dollar for their bogus expert witness testimony despite the fact that they've been discredited over and over again. And while he has tried to distance himself from the story, records now reveal that McCollum personally vouched for Rekers and insisted he be hired over the initial objections of the Florida Department of Children and Families.
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"I will not do it again,'' McCollum told reporters yesterday, "I wouldn't do it again if I knew what I know today but I didn't know that then and neither did anybody else.'' He didn't know? Doesn't Google work in the Attorney General's office? He didn't know? In 2008, Miami-Dade Circuit Court Judge Cindy Lederman said Rekers was not a credible witness
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In 2004 Rekers testified in an Arkansas gay adoption case. In his ruling, Pulaski County Circuit Court judge Timothy Fox specifically called Rekers' testimony, "extremely suspect", and said that Rekers "was there primarily to promote his own personal ideology."
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What did McCollum do? He paid an unqualified zealot who will endorse McCollum's anti-gay political posturing under the guise of "expert testimony." Bill McCollum did it because he was willing to pay for a discredited witness who would ignore the clear scientific facts and the real, lived experience of millions of gay parents and their children to bring a hateful, ideologically driven message about gay people.
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Hiring rent boys like Lucien for European trips is one thing, hiring political rent boys like Rekers, paid to move an extremist agenda is something entirely different. Floridians want their money back.

Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama - A Soldier Serving in Baghdad

One of the ironies of the claims of loonies like Elaine Donnelly is that if gays can serve in the military, straights would not want to enlist. NEWS BULLETIN ELAINE: gays are already serving and are known to be gay by many of the fellow service members. But for the political games of religious bigots like Donnelly, the matter would be largely a non-issue. Today's open letter to the President is from a soldier serving in Iraq who is a SLDN client. Whether the Christo-fascists like it or not, gays ARE in the military and serving honorably. Right in the Hampton Roads area, there are THOUSANDS of gay service members. They may not be openly gay, but they are there - some serving at fairly high rank levels. Barack Obama needs to grow some balls and act as a leader, not a follower, and deliver on his promise to repeal DADT THIS YEAR. Here's today's letter:
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May 14, 2010
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President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500
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Dear Mr. President,
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I am writing to you from a kitchen in the state of Washington. The love of my life is in the other room. It has been eight months since I saw him last and I cherish every moment we spend together. Next week, my mid-tour leave will be over and I will return to Iraq and finish my second deployment. I don’t know when I’ll see my partner again.
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When serving in a war zone, you learn quite a bit about yourself and what’s important to you. I’ve had the chance to work on a close and personal level with the people of Iraq, and in doing so, I have realized more than ever that the freedoms we enjoy as Americans should not be taken for granted – we must protect them at all costs. These freedoms are essential to the very foundation of our society. Yet so many men and women who fight for these freedoms aren’t allotted their own. Our freedom to love and be loved by whomever we choose. The freedom to live of a life of truth and dignity.
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Recently I was informed that the military was investigating me for violating the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law. Another service member had apparently “outed” me. At first I felt free: I didn’t have to lie anymore. But after that initial sense of relief, I’m left knowing just how little the Pentagon and the United States government think of me.
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Mr. President, my unit is extremely undermanned. We’re working around the clock in Baghdad. My commander informed me that the Army cannot afford to lose me. I was told that they would prepare my discharge paperwork, “stick it in a Manila envelope, and keep it in a desk -- for now.”
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One moment they wanted to throw me out and the next they are hiding evidence to keep me in. My comrades now know that I am gay, and they do not treat me any differently. Work runs as smoothly as ever, and frankly the only difference I see -- besides my pending job loss -- is that I am free of the burden of having to constantly watch my words and ensure my lies are believable.
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Having this out in the open makes things a bit less stressful. But it’s also clear the Army is only keeping me around until they are done with me. After I have served my two deployments -- and only a year shy of separating from the military honorably -- I suspect they will kick me to the street.
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It’s bad enough that there is a law that denies tens of thousands of service members from serving with integrity, but it’s even worse when such a law is carried out with such inconsistency, without any warning of when it might come down.
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If my suspicions are true, my discharge will move forward after my deployment. I am good enough to serve in war, but not at peace? I will never be at peace until this law is repealed – and neither will my partner. In fact, he won’t even be informed if I am killed in action. That might be the hardest part for us both.
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Mr. President, when you took office I remember watching your inauguration knowing that history was being made. I remember feeling like this weight was being lifted off of my shoulders. I truly believed in you, and I still do.
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But, Mr. President, please keep your promise to me.
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Please do everything in your power to help Congress repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” this year. Our government called upon us to fight for our country. So many of us answered the call; we did not delay. We were sent world’s away to defend your freedoms. Mr. President, won’t you fight for mine?
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With deep respect,
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A soldier returning to Baghdad
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Like the author of this letter, I too believed in Barack Obama - unlike the author, I no longer do. Or at least I will not until DADT is repealed and ENDA is enacted. Only then will I cease to see Obama as a cynical liar. Perhaps I sound harsh, but that is how I feel. And it's exactly what I told a caller yesterday seeking to solicit money for Senate Democrats. In fact, I asked that I be removed from the call list.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Gaza Strip: Surfing as International Diplomacy

I will confess that I love surfing and that I find it to not only to be a wonderful sport, but also a wonderful way to build camaraderie and a bond with your surf buddies. It relieves stress and often helps you get a proper perspective on things as you are surrounded by the elements, narrow your focus on the waves, and realize your own insignificance compared to the power of the sea. Spend a day in the water with someone and you will always have a special shared experience. Interestingly enough, CNN has a story on a small band of Palestinian surfers who surprisingly enough are getting aid from surfers in Israel. For the Palestinian surfers, surfing offers a short term escape from the often unpleasant lives. For the Israeli surfers, it sends the message that we are all human. Surfing knows no dogma and one is recognized for one's skill and ability. Religion in contrast focuses on differences and the "otherness" of those of different faiths and in the process all too often dehumanize the "other." Would that focus was on our similarities as part of the human family rather than our differences. Religious based hate has caused so much misery over the centuries. Here are highlights from the CNN story:
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In Gaza, a handful of Palestinian men have found a way to escape temporarily from the hardships of life in their conflict-wracked home. They go surfing. Dirt poor and mainly from refugee camps, they find joy riding waves, often on makeshift boards, in the green waters off Gaza's beaches.
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Over the past few years, a number of groups, some based in Israel, have made it their business to try to help the Gaza surfers. Explore Corps and Jewish Surfing 4 Peace have sent surf boards and wetsuits to the 20 or so Palestinian wave riders, hoping to extend the hand of friendship across the bullet-pocked border.
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U.S. filmmaker Alexander Klein managed to get in to Gaza to film the latest mission, the story of which he tells in documentary "God Went Surfing with the Devil." "It seemed like an important story to tell," he told CNN. . . . "Here was a story about young guys who could have been coming together to shoot at each other, but instead all they want to do is surf together."
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But the club is about more than just helping a few beach guys have a good time.
Matt Olsen, of Explore Corps, one of the founders of the surf club, believes small acts of friendship, like this, can help the peace process from the bottom up.
"We think that this is a great way to get people to connect and get people to talk," Olsen told CNN.
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Veterans of the tiny Gaza surf scene have been riding for many years, using anything from 100lb windsurfers with the sails taken off to old broken surfboards with pieces of plywood for fins. Under an economic embargo enforced by the Israeli government, only basic foodstuffs and humanitarian supplies are allowed into Gaza, making it almost impossible for the surfers to get hold of equipment themselves.
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"They have a real community down there," said Olsen. "It's really wonderful to go there and hang out." The tiny Gazan surf community couldn't be more different from the scene in Israel. Israeli surfer Arthur Rashkovan, one of the founders of Surfing 4 Peace estimates there are some 30,000 surfers in Israel, a tiny land of just over seven million people.
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Despite working with the surfers of Gaza, Rashkovan has never met any of them. He has never been across the border. "They cannot get out of Gaza and I cannot get in," said Tel Aviv-based Rashkovan. "Hopefully, one day we will meet and go surfing together."

Thursday Male Beauty

Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama - former SSgt. David Hall

“Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama” - the media campaign launched to underscore the urgent need for congressional action and presidential leadership at this critical point in the fight to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT)- continues. Today's letter is from former SSgt. David Hall, who was discharged under DADT. As readers know, DADT in my view is a patently unconstitutional law that violates the freedom of religion rights of LGBT Americans in order to favor one divisive brand of Christianity. Unfortunately, no one at the White House - including the President - has the courage or integrity to call the DADT policy for what it is: religious based bigotry. Here is David Hall's letter (Hall was at one time stationed here in Hampton, Virginia):
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May 13, 2010
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President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500
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Dear Mr. President,
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It has been almost eight years since I was discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Every day another American patriot who volunteered to serve our country is discharged under this unjust law. Now is the time for you to show the leadership expected from our Commander-in-Chief and work with Congress to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” this year. How many more careers will be ruined before we see repeal?
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I was fortunate to grow up as an Air Force brat. My dad and stepdad both retired from the Air Force after serving 20 years. It only made sense that I would eventually follow their footsteps and serve as well. I didn’t realize I was gay when I joined the Air Force in March 1996 and never gave any thought to “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
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There was nothing I enjoyed more than wearing the uniform and was very proud to be serving my country. I did everything right to ensure I had a successful career in the Air Force. I loaded missiles on F-15’s at Langley AFB where I received Airman of the Quarter, Load Crew of the Quarter, and was even handpicked for a no-notice deployment to Kuwait when I was deployed to Saudi Arabia for Operation Southern Watch. At Elmendorf AFB, I was selected to work at the Weapons Standardization Section where I trained and evaluated load crews on loading bombs and missiles on F-15E aircraft. I was promoted to SSgt on my first try and graduated as a distinguished graduate from Airman Leadership School.
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After reenlisting for another four years I decided to apply for Air Force ROTC and was selected under the Professional Officer Course – Early Release Program. I was discharged from active duty in August 2001 and signed my ROTC contract the next day. One of the proudest moments of my life was when I received my pilot slot. I was so excited; not only was I going to be an officer in the Air Force but I also had the chance to be a pilot. All my hard work was paying off.
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But everything changed a few months later. A cadet went to my commanders and told them I was gay and dating a fellow cadet. During the investigation that followed I made no comment to the JAG officer conducting the investigation. I was eventually called into my commander’s office and disenrolled from ROTC in August 2002. I received a piece of paper saying I was no longer fit for military duty due to “homosexual conduct.” You can’t even imagine how that feels. Almost 8 years later, I still remember wearing my flight suit for the last time and handing my ID card to the NCO who was trying not to cry.
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Mr. President – I assure you I am fit for military duty and so are the 66,000 lesbian and gay service members currently serving. Please keep your promise and stop discharging patriotic Americans. I did my part; now, sir, please do yours!
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Respectfully,
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Former SSgt. David Hall
United States Air Force

Bob McDonnell Endorses Cuccinelli Want to Be Scott Rigell

Bob McDonnell, a/k/a "Taliban Bob," a/k/a Pat Robertson's Manchurian candidate, has endorsed Christian right auto dealer Scott Rigell for the GOP slot to challenge 2nd District Congressman Glenn Nye. The endorsement is not surprising since both McDonnell and Rigell have long ties to the Pat Robertson wing of the Republican Party of Virginia. To date Rigell is running a clone of McDonnell's own "moderate" campaign and staying away from his extreme religious and social views. As I previously reported, Rigell is NOT what he is trying to seem and Virginians need to wake up to the fact that we do not need another Christianist ayatollah in elected office. While perhaps not literally as insane as Kookinelli, Rigell definitely would like to see Virginia taken back to the 1950's on social issues, if not even decades earlier. With Barack Obama and Congressional Democrats failing to deliver on campaign promises other than in highly watered down form - if at all - Nye is likely to have a very unenthusiastic party base behind him. It seems the Democrats have learned nothing from the November 2009 debacle in Virginia. Here are highlights from the Virginian Pilot:
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Gov. Bob McDonnell, the leader of the state’s Republican Party, is publicly taking sides today in the party’s 2nd Congressional District primary by endorsing a longtime friend and campaign contributor, Scott Rigell, over five other GOP contenders.
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Lt. Gov. Bill Bolling also is expected to participate in the announcement, scheduled for 4 p.m. in the Norfolk Waterside Marriott Hotel.
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The June 8 primary will choose a party nominee to challenge U.S. Rep. Glenn Nye, a Democrat, in the November election. The district includes all of Virginia Beach and the Eastern Shore and parts of Norfolk and Hampton.
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The endorsement demonstrates the pull that Rigell has enjoyed in the contest, including support from high-ranking Virginia Republicans such as U.S. Rep. Eric Cantor, the House minority whip, and the largest campaign fund, fueled largely by his own contributions.
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Rigell, who made a personal fortune in auto sales, has been a longtime contributor to Republican campaigns and strongly backed McDonnell’s political rise.

During McDonnell’s successful campaigns for the House of Delegates, attorney general and last year’s gubernatorial election, Rigell, his wife and his businesses contributed a total of $134,000, according to campaign records compiled by the Virginia Public Access Project.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

More Wednesday Mlae Beauty

Doris Eaton Travis, Last Ziegfeld Girl and Norfolk Native Dies at 106

It is surprising at times to learn the names of some of the people who once called the Norfolk area home. They range from Gen Douglas MacArthur's mother, designer Perry Ellis, entertainers Wanda Sykes, Pearl Bailey, Ella Fitzgerald, Keely Smith, and Margaret Sullavan - and Doris Eaton Travis (pictured above). Some readers are likely saying who? Doris Eaton Travis died at 106 and the last of the surviving Ziegfeld Follies girls. The Ziegfeld girls were "it" back in the early decades of the 20th century. Travis kept going almost to the very end and was a supporter of Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. Both 365gay.com and the New York Daily News have stories on Travis' long and amazing life. Here are some highlights from the Daily News coverage:
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The final curtain fell on one of Broadway's giddiest and most glorious eras Tuesday with the death of Doris Eaton Travis, the last surviving Ziegfield Girl.
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Details of her death were not released. She was 106 and was still dancing in the 21st century even though she was born just four years after the end of the 19th. Broadway plans to dim its lights Wednesday in honor of her passing.
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She first joined the annual Ziegfield Follies in 1918, claiming to be 16 when she was really 14. A year later she came back for what is generally considered the best of all the Follies shows, 1919. Among other things, that edition introduced Irving Berlin's "A Pretty Girl Is Like a Melody."
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Travis herself would later introduce "Singin' In the Rain," in "The Hollywood Music Box Revue of 1929." The song was written for her by Arthur Freed and Nacio Brown, whom Eaton was dating at the time. Twenty-three years before Gene Kelly immortalized "Singin' " in the movie of the same name, Eaton thought it was just another good song.
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Eaton stayed single until she was 45, when she married one of her dance students, Paul Travis. She and Paul bought and ran a 400-acre ranch in Oklahoma, even as Doris went back to school to finish the education the Ziefield Follies interrupted seven decades earlier. In 1992, age 88, she graduated Phi Beta Kappa from the University of Oklahoma.
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A few weeks after her 100th birthday she was talking about how busy she'd been with 40 young horses. Meanwhile, she kept her ties to Broadway, and she was an active supporter of Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS. This was one Ziegfield Girl who got her full kicks. "I probably have a few regrets," she said in 2004. "But I have no complaints."

Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama - Brian K. Humbles

Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama” is a new to underscore the urgent need for congressional action and presidential leadership at this critical point in the fight to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). SLDN and a coalition of LGBT voices supporting repeal are sharing an open letter to the President from a person impacted by this discriminatory law. As noted before, we are urging the President to include repeal in the Administration’s defense budget recommendations, but also to voice his support as we work to muster the 15 critical votes needed on the Senate Armed Services Committee to include repeal. The Defense Authorization bill represents the best legislative vehicle to bring repeal to the president’s desk. It also was the same vehicle used to pass DADT in 1993. For those who have been reading the letters, it speaks volumes that the authors are male, female, black, white and Hispanic. The religious based discrimination embodied in DADT cuts across all segments of society. Today's letter and the horror story he experienced is from Brian K. Humbles, Chief Hospital Corpsman (RET), who is pictured above:
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May 12, 2010
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President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500
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Dear Mr. President,
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A “sexual predator” -- that’s what someone in the military called me after 22 years of faithful service.
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It was September, 2005. I remember the moment I received notice from the Navy Criminal Investigation Service (NCIS) that I was under investigation and I couldn’t figure out why.
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Not long before that day, I was conducting medical exams on two sailors who were being open about their sexual orientation. The rules were clear. If a service member comes “out” to a medical professional or even a chaplain, we were required to report it.
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Instead of alerting their command, I made the choice to caution them about the risks of being too open. As a bisexual man myself, I knew the fear they experienced under the law of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
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I knew the “ins and outs” of serving silently – even while deployed to Afghanistan. The law, frankly, is a scary thing. The fear of being “outed” – of losing your job – can sometimes be too much to handle.
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My good faith efforts in counseling these two young men on their sexual orientation resulted in accusations of molestation. In the course of the investigation, under intense pressure from an NCIS agent and a desire to be truthful, I admitted to being bisexual.
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Fortunately, it didn’t take long for NCIS to conclude its investigation and find the accusations by the two men to be without merit. The authorities governing medical ethics at the hospital also launched an independent investigation and concluded the charges were unfounded. And
finally, an Article 32 hearing exonerated me of any wrong doing.
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Everyone thought the case was closed. I thought the case was closed. But it wasn’t.
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The Staff Judge Advocate (SJA) on base, acting without authority, continued her own investigation and convinced the ranking Admiral that regulations mandated that he move to administratively separate me with an “Other Than Honorable” discharge; a move that would result in the loss of my 20+ year retirement.
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Acting without the proper authority, she even went over the Admiral’s head and appealed to the Navy’s personnel office, telling them I was taking “sexual liberties” with patients, which she knew was not true.
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I wanted to serve my country. Now, I was fighting to not be humiliated by it. At the SJA’s encouragement, the command initiated discharge proceedings. I knew I’d be discharged but my retirement and my livelihood was also on the line.
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In the middle of opening statements at my discharge hearing, a fellow service member who also sat on the Administrative Separation Board, lashed out and called me a “sexual predator.” While she was removed from the board, the damage was done.
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After a strong push by my faithful defense team, the board ruled that I could keep my retirement benefits and be discharged honorably.
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I served for 22 years and wanted only to fulfill the remainder of my time. A promise I made to my country.
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The criminal investigation by NCIS took all but six months. But one person -- a JAG officer --
spent the next eighteen months and countless man hours attempting to have me discharged with a reduction in rank and no retirement, all because I was gay.
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Sir, those two years were frankly, mental hell, all because one person felt I shouldn’t be in the Navy, a service I loved and still love today.
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Mr. President, the men and women in the armed forces need your leadership now. Repeal this law, this year. Help stop the pain of so many people who are currently facing discharge hearings. Help them keep their honor. Help them keep their integrity.
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With great respect,
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Brian K. Humbles
Chief Hospital Corpsman
Surface Warfare/ Fleet Marine Forces
United States Navy (RET)

Reminder - HRBOR's Three Year Anniversary Event

HRBOR's Third Anniversary Event is set for Thursday, May 20, 2010 at the 21st Street location of Decorum Furniture. Heritage Bank is hosting the food refreshments. Here are the details for locals who I hope will attend because the event is FREE and because it is a wonderful way to make friends and network for those with businesses. The NGLCC will be represented and will have a special surprise.


DATE: MAy 20, 2010, Thursday
TIME: 6:00 PM to 8:00 PM
HOST: Decorum Furniture, Claus Ihlemann and Robert Roman
PLACE: Historic Ghent
301 West 21st Street
Norfolk, VA 23517
757.623.3100
http://www.decorumfurniture.com/
(Parking available in lot behind the store on W 20th Street)

FEATURED NON-PROFIT:
HRBOR, Hampton Roads Business OutReach -
It’s our Third Anniversary, so we are opening our doors to the Public in celebration of our Third Birthday as an organization. No guest fees! Come meet our members, network with other business professionals and see what HRBOR is all about. We have some great plans for the future!!!

COST: May’s Third Thursday is FREE, no Guest Fees this Month. Open to the Public in honor of HRBOR’s Third Anniversary! (Members Free each month)

Laura Bush Supports Marriage Equality

Personally, I am not sure how one could remain married to someone like the Chimperator, but I guess you cannot fully judge until you stand in someone else's shoes. Nonetheless, Laura Bush continues to come out with pro-gay comments that must be making the fundies convulse on the floor. The latest deals with her support of same sex marriage. She made the remarks while on Larry King Live. The Advocate reports as follows and the video clip is set out below:
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Former First Lady Laura Bush told Larry King Tuesday night that marriage equality would be an area where she disagrees with her husband. See the video on the next page.
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Bush: “I understand totally what George thinks about marriage being between a man and a woman, and it’s a real, um, really, reversal of that to accept gay marriage….”King: “But you do?”Bush: “But I think we could, yeah.
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Too bad the Chimperator listened to Rove instead of his wife on this and likely other issues.


Wednesday Male Beauty

Denigrating LGBT Love, Lives and Families

UPDATE: I have a proposal that could help reduce the "culture wars" - Christians stop wearing their religion on their sleeves and recognize that others have the right to freedom of religion too. I wonder what Rep. King would say to that?
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Over the years I have followed a number of "pro-family" and "family values" organizations run by the professional Christian set and one message always comes through: gays are a subhuman category defined solely by sex acts. The rest of our lives and our accomplishments mean nothing. As do our loves and emotions mean nothing. We are boiled down to two things: sex acts and "behavior." All LEGITIMATE medical and mental health associations have concluded that sexual orientation is innate and not changeable. But among our enemies the truth means nothing and lying is the norm - even as they false profess to worship the Ten Commandments and the Bible. Sadly, too many elected officials out of either intellectual laziness or a willingness to prostitute themselves for votes parrot the bile disseminated by these false Christians. A case in point is GOP Congressman Steve King (Iowa) (pictured at right) who on the issue of employment non-discrimination said that if homosexuals want to avoid discrimination they should be more discrete about being homosexual. Should heterosexuals also be more discrete about their sexual orientation? And who is it that really wants "special rights" - gays or conservative Christians? Obviously, it is the latter who want to disregard the laws and impose their warped and hate filled views on all citizens. King went on and stated this:
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If people wear their sexuality on their sleeve, then they want to bring litigation against someone that they would point their finger at and say “you discriminate,” it is an entrapment that is legalized by the ENDA Act, it appears to, and its a violation of the individual rights of employers to, at their own discretion, decide who they want to hire and who they want to fire. We don’t need more federal mandates. And we surely don’t need a political statement, and that’s what this is, too. This is the homosexual activist lobby taking it out on the rest of society. They are demanding affirmation for their lifestyle. That’s at the bottom of this.
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Fortunately, blogger friend Jeremy Hooper at Good As You did not let King's bullshit go unchallenged:
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And in terms of hypocrisy: Where the flying, falsified frick does Rep. King get off saying that "they should have known" Behn's sexuality? People like King and Tony Perkins go on all the time about how a gay person's sexuality is only apparent if the person makes it known. Literally seconds after King made his comment about state senator Behn, he talks about how sexuality must be "projected" or "advertised" or "worn on the sleeve" if it is to be known. Yet that same rule doesn't apply to apparent heterosexuals like Senator Behn? People "should have known" just from looking at him? Why the double standard?!? Why is one's bio automatically "militant" if they are openly gay or lesbian, yet just a "should have known" kind of benign normalcy if it skews towards opposite-sex relations? The obvious answer: Folks like King hold a double standard in every single way that they deal with LGBT people. . . . .That's why they have to flip every piece of legislation that pertains to sexuality and (a) overlook the way it protects all of us, and (b) flip the script so that heterosexual Christians are the supposed victims.
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As always, Jeremy has a wonderful way with words.

Is there a Connection between Jim Webb and Elaine Donnelly?

My post on both this blog and a slightly modified version on The Bilerico Project concerning Robert Gates' outward insubordination on the issue of repealing DADT have lead to numerous comments and e-mails on the issue of Obama, Robert Gates and one of my my U.S. Senators, Jim Webb. The writers almost unanimously see - some in scathing words - the Gates letter to a homophobe in Congress as a coordinated plan involving Obama to sink DADT repeal this year. Yes, Senator Carl Levin has continued to say that repeal will happen this year "if the votes are there." My concern is that because of Defense Secretary Gates' letter both GOP and Democrat homophobes have an excuse to defer a vote until after the November mid-term elections when chances of passage are believed to be less auspicious. Among the most disturbing questions raised is that of whether or not Jim Webb has ties to professional homophobe and mental basket case Elaine Donnelly. The following are highlights from some of the e-mails I have received and I welcome input from others who may be able to elaborate on this issue (my own letters to Webb have been met with mealy mouthed form letter responses, although he claims he is supporting ENDA):
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But, I have become so bitter about what I see as NEEDLESS betrayal by Obama and the DNC on DADT and possibly ENDA and DOMA lawsuits [I get that DOMA repeal is a dog that will not hunt for a long time], for the first time in my life I am thinking, as you, of sitting out 2010 and 2012 elections. I probably won't, but it makes me ANGRIER that they've even driven me to consider it, just as my ultimate hatred for Bush was that he made me distrust EVERYTHING he said which no citizen should have to do.
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Someone who attended the March 18th Senate hearing she attended, when DADT victims Mike Almy and Jenny Kopfstein testified, noted that Donnelly and someone with her went up to speak to Webb and he was really friendly with them. Per se, that, and the picture she took [above] is no proof of an actual friendship . . .
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BUT, the rest of what she wrote made it very foreboding: "Prior to giving their testimony the witnesses walk up and greet the Senators. Of course, they don't greet them all, just the ones on their side. Elaine and Sen. Webb spoke for awhile and I took the picture[see above left]. Prior to the hearing everyone gathers in the lobby and get's in line to get seats at these hearings. Most have been standing room or overflow. I decided to stand by Elaine. It gave me an opportunity to overhear her conversations with other members of her group. One of Senator Webbs staffers came over to Elaine's group and shook everyone's hand and gave the impression this was not the first time they had met. I figured maybe Webb's staffer would then go over to Lt Col. Fehrenbach, Col. Cammermeyer, Jenny Kopfstein, or Michael Almy and shake their hand. Victor was in uniform, but no. Even tho they were less than 6 feet away, the staffer just breezed right past them. Just like in the hearing room. Sen. Webb never personally greeted Jenny or Michael and you see how close they all were prior to the hearing."
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And that reinforced what someone who has lobbied one of Webb's aides for repeal have reported, that the aide could barely control his indifference if not disdain.
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WHY virtually every group but the Palm Center threw their legs in the air, as it were, rather than denouncing "The Study" in unison I may never understand. NOR, now that they SEEM to have realized how devious and vile Gates is, why are they STILL acting as if they HAVE to appease him..."Yes, go ahead with your homophobic study, just let us technically repeal before then, please, Master!" PLUS the fact that NO ONE is talking about that EXTRA year Gates wants
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Do Obama and Webb care that they may be setting the stage for LGBT voters to follow the Virginia 2009 election pattern where folks stay home because they are so uninspired by their alleged "friends" among the Democrat ranks? In a close race, LGBT votes could make the difference - e.g., in Glenn Nye's race - and absent passage of ENDA and a repeal of DADT, we've been given little reason to go out and vote.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

More Sex Ed From "Dr." Corrigan

I previously wrote about porn star Brent Corrigan's collaboration with with Washington, D.C. , STD prevention group D.C. Fuk !t, to produce educational videos to hopefully reach the youth element of the LGBT community which is participating in alarming amounts of unsafe sex and contracting HIV at disturbing rates - especially given the knowledge that now exists as to how to prevent HIV infection and the spread of other STD's. Sadly, much of the free porn online - which frankly is where many gay youth learn about sex since it surely is not addressed from a gay perspective in all too many public schools - does not include any message as to the dangers of unsafe sex. Since Corrigan is young, cute and apparently well known in the porn world, he is a perfect choice to assist in hopefully getting the attention of young gays and helping them avoid a potentially life changing medical disaster. The latest revealing yet informative video can be found here (warning, NSFW) and The Advocate describes it in part as follows:
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Porn star Brent Corrigan is back with another condom education video for STD prevention group D.C. Fuk !t, this time offering up a crash course lesson in lube application and the various types of STDs that spread without proper condom use.
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Corrigan starred in a number of bareback gay adult films before he was 18 but has since become a vocal spokesman for safe-sex education. D.C. Fuk !t offers sex education through a series of sexually explicit and provocative videos that “use sex to sell" safer sex.
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Orgaizations that assist those with HIV/AIDS - locally these are ACCESS AIDS Care and TACT - do wonderful work, but the far better approach is to stop the spread of infection in the first place. If the new DC Fuk It video campaign saves individuals from infection, kudos to Corrigan for his cooperation.

More Tuesday Male Beauty


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Myth That Offshore Drilling Will Solve the USA's Energy Problems

Click image to enlarge

The chart above shows the ridiculousness and disingenuousness of those who support "drill baby drill." Are you listening Bob McDonnell?

George "I Love Rentboys" Rekers Resigns from NARTH

Apparently facing the reality that the rent boy to "carry my luggage" has no signs of going away - and likely with the encouragement of his erstwhile anti-gay compatriots - George Rekers has resigned his affiliations with the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality ("NARTH"). Rekers joins recently disgraced and now former NARTH executive Secretary Arthur Abba Goldberg who was revealed to have a felony record and to have done prison time for securities fraud offenses. Hmm . . . NARTH and fraud. Now there's a match made in Heaven. In truth, over the years NARTH and affiliated other faux experts like Rekers have disseminated countless lies and bogus "research" to further the myth that sexual orientation can be changed from same sex oriented to heterosexual. Ideally, appropriate licensing agencies should be reviewing Rekers' professional licenses as well. Here are highlights from Talking Points Memo on Rekers' resignation:
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George Rekers resigned this morning from the board of NARTH, the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, amid a gay escort scandal. NARTH vice president of operations David Pruden tells TPMmuckraker that Rekers first offered his resignation last Thursday, and officially resigned today. NARTH is a group that promotes the idea that homosexuality can, and should, be cured.
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Pruden also denied a report in the Miami New Times that NARTH had been involved in helping Rekers respond to the media.
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Rekers, who is also a co-founder of the Family Research Council and a member of groups that seek to protect children from homosexuality, was recently caught with a young male escort. Rekers maintains nothing sexual occurred, but the escort has told the press that he was hired to give Rekers erotic massages.
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Rekers has also testified for the states of Arkansas and Florida in defense of their bans against gay couples adopting children. Florida paid Rekers $120,000 for his testimony, which the judge said was not credible.
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My, my! Isn't it wonderful when lying hypocrites get exposed? NARTH ought to shut down. However, it is needed to support the anti-gay political agenda of the far right and I suspect that it can be lucrative ripping off the families of gays who will pay significant amounts of money based on promises that their child/loved one can be "cured" of homosexuality. Thus, I expect NARTH and its fraudulent activities will linger as an inflamed boil on society's posterior for some time yet.

Dublin Archbishop Martin Disheartened by Church Sex Abuse Response

One of the few heroes - assuming that the term even applies - in the Roman Catholic Church sex abuse scandal has been Dublin Archbishop Diarmuid Martin (pictured at right) who has pushed for the resignation of bishops and other high clerics implicated in the reassignment of known predator priests and/or the cover up of their crimes in the name of "protecting the Church." Never mind the lives and souls of the sex abuse victims. The BBC has an article in which Archbishop Martin discusses his unhappiness with the Church's piss poor [my words] response to the literally world wide sex abuse scandals. Indeed, Martin has been much more responsible that has Papa Ratzi who has seemed far to worried about protecting bishops from their own malfeasance. Here are some highlights:
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Speaking to the Knights of Columbus in Dublin, Dr Diarmuid Martin said he felt "disheartened and discouraged". He talked about the lack of willingness by some in the Catholic Church to begin the "painful path of renewal".
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There were "signs of subconscious denial on the part of many about the extent of the abuse," he said. The Archbishop said he was surprised at the way church academics and church publicists acted calmly as pundits on the root causes of the abuse, as if the scandals had nothing to do with them. Where were they, he asked, while a Church culture failed to recognise what was happening.
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Bishop of Killaloe Dr Willie Walsh said he largely agreed with Dr Martin's comments on the Catholic Church's handling of clerical child sexual abuse. Bishop Walsh said the Catholic hierarchy was still in denial.
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Unfortunately, Pope Benedict XVI seems to lack any motivation to clean up the filth within the hierarchy that not only allowed the abuse to go on but actually conspired to cover it up. I see no much needed reforms occurring under Benedict. Worse yet, given how John Paul II stacked the College of Cardinals with reactionary ideologues, there's little hope the next Pope will be one to either will be one to conduct the drastic house cleaning that the Church needs so badly.

Tuesday Male Beauty

Lacrosse Captain Come Out - Decides Against Suicide

With the ongoing debate in the LGBT community as to whether or not rentboy loving George Rekers deserves any compassion, the story of Oneonta lacrosse captain Andrew McIntosh (at left), while positive, reminds us of the deadly consequences of the insidious poison peddled by Rekers for 35 years. McIntosh considered suicide - like I suspect many of us in the LGBT community - but thankfully decided to come out and endeavor to go on with his life as a gay man rather than end his life. One can only wonder how many young gays took the other route driven by religious based discrimination at which too many in the USA still turn a blind eye. Another positive aspect of McIntosh's story is the acceptance and support he found on his team and from his coach. Both OutSports and the Washington Post have articles that look at McIntosh's saga. Here are highlights from the OutSports coverage:
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I had just finished my junior-year lacrosse season at Oneonta State University in New York when word came that I was going to be a captain of my team for the 2010 season. I was excited. I was honored. I was depressed.
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At home I reflected on my life: How will people remember me after I take this bottle of pills so I can just die and no one will ever know I ‘m gay? I could see my funeral being played out: The images brought me to tears as I watched my father, brother and former teammates as pallbearers, all of them wondering why I decided to end my life. “How could Andrew do this to himself? He had it all.”

I had experienced no lonelier point in my life. I felt no one could understand my feelings. Who the hell is gay and plays sports, especially lacrosse? I remembered the first time I tried to kill myself, after I lost a football game in high school. I thought I should have just hanged myself then and I wouldn’t be dealing with any of these problems… Why I am in love with my best friend Mike?...Why don’t I love some girl like the rest of my friends?...Why couldn’t I just be like everyone else?
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It was in the midst of those thoughts that I watched the movie “Milk.” It was the first time I realized that there are other people out there who are closeted and do not want to live. There are people like me. And it was then that I began to wonder: Are there other gay athletes too?
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The next day I decided to tell someone I’m gay, and I settled on one of my best friends from home. I would say Mike is the reason I realized I am gay: I had fallen in love with him in college, and I felt ashamed of it. Mike was a teammate of mine in high school and became a great friend throughout college. He is also captain of his college lacrosse team.
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The first time I came out I never even said “I’m gay.” But I did tell him that I didn’t want to live anymore. He stayed with me that whole day and told me over and over that he was fine with me being gay. Of course, I didn’t tell him that I loved him like more than a friend; Better to ease him into that one.
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One website they told me might help me with the coming out process was called Outsports. And in Outsports I immediately dove into a goldmine for coming out stories just like mine.
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The first story I came across was about Andrew Goldstein, also a lacrosse player, at Dartmouth University. I remember in high school I had seen his story on ESPN, but I had subconsciously denied ever seeing it. After reading the article I talked to Andrew, and he provided great insight about being a gay athlete. It was refreshing to talk to someone who knew exactly what I was going through – living a lie, losing sleep, wanting to die – all of the horrible feelings that were destroying me. After talking with Andrew a new feeling came over me…that I was not alone. I had to let people know the real me.
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After he read the email, he [Coach Mahar] called to meet with me. He was unfazed. He told me that if we had a roster of 30 players and 15 of them did not want to play on the team because I was gay, he would tell them to leave the team. I felt a new sense of confidence. I felt whole again. I was proud to be playing for not only such a great coach, but a great man who truly cared about the people underneath the uniforms.
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Congratulations to Andrew, his team and Coach Mahar for a wonderful story. I hope Andrew will be an inspiration for other closeted gay youth and young adults who are having the same dark thoughts that plagued Andrew - and which plagued me for many, many years.