2010 Equality Virginia Commonwealth Dinner

The EV event was wonderful and among other people we had the opportunity to meet were Andrew Sullivan (in the photo with us above) and Robyn Deane, Governor Bob McDonnell's transgender former sister-in-law. Andrew's talk was truly inspiring and I will try to do it justice in a summary tomorrow. It's late and I will write more in the morning before we head out to the drag brunch at Godfrey's.

More Saturday Male Beauty

BREAKING UPDATE: Obama Administration Deals "Devastating Blow" against DADT Repeal Advocates

I received this "on the record" release from SLDN less than 30 minutes ago. I urge readers to read it and to contact the White House and their members of Congress. Each and every one of us needs to make it clear: either support us NOW or expect no support and no money from the LGBT community in November. With friends like Obama, who needs an enemy. All we receive is talk, appointments of gays and lesbians to bureaucratic positions and no legislation that would protect those of us in fly over states from arbitrary firing and discharge from the military (even as convicted felons and gang members are accepted into the ranks). Here is the message (more information is on the SLDN website):

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This on-the-record email is for media and others monitoring the repeal of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT):
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**Aubrey Sarvis – Army veteran and executive director of Servicemembers Legal Defense Network -- a group fighting to repeal DADT and representing active and former service members -- will join repeal activists at the White House protest TOMORROW at noon** (Excerpts from Sarvis’ prepared remarks follow below)
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WHAT HAPPENED? Late Friday evening, the Obama Administration shot a simultaneous salvo – from the Pentagon and the White House -- at advocates fighting for repeal this year, appearing to reverse on the president’s commitment in his State of The Union Address to the American people: “This year, I will work with Congress and our military to finally repeal the law that denies gay Americans the right to serve the country they love because of who they are. It's the right thing to do.”
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EXCERPTS FROM AUBREY SARVIS’ SUNDAY REMARKS AS PREPARED FOR DELIVERY:
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“Harry Truman led; Barack Obama defers, kicking repeal down the road -- again.
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“In his State of the Union message President Obama said repealing ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ was the right thing to do. But Friday evening President Obama did the wrong thing, and in doing so he and Secretary Gates delivered a devastating blow to getting repeal done this year. Their joint political decision showed a lack of respect for our LGBT service members who are on the frontlines every day risking their lives for our safety.
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“As a result of the Commander in Chief's decision to defer to Secretary Gates' wishes and timeline, gay service members will continue to be treated as second class citizens, and any sense of fairness may well have been delayed for yet another year, perhaps for another decade.
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“The President did not sound like a fierce repeal advocate. He sounded like someone who wants to have it both ways. And that is not leadership. That is politics as usual.”

Episcopal Bishop Gene Robinson Gives Advice to Pope Benedict

While the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church has disingenuously tried to blame that Church's sex abuse problems on gays, it is an ironic turn that the Washington Post is carrying and op-ed column by a gay Episcopal bishop that politely takes Pope Benedict XVI to task and underscores the difference in the manner his church and the Catholic Church have address sexual abuse problems involving clergy. I do not deny that sexual abuse happens in other denominations and in the public sector such as schools. However, how these other institutions have dealt with the problem in contrast to the Catholic Church is where the moral bankruptcy of the Catholic Church leadership becomes so shockingly clear. Unfortunately, until such time as (1) the Catholic Church abandons its feudal structure (where the Pope serves as King while the bishops and cardinals function as lords controlling the laity/serfs), and (2) the requirement of celibacy which attracts psychologically unhealthy individuals is eliminated, I do not see the any of the recommendations being adopted. Here are some highlights:
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Though our churches differ in many ways, we believe in the same God. As your brother in Christ, it pains me to see Catholics struggle with your response to recent allegations of sex abuse by priests. Since my denomination has also battled these demons, I want to share with you what I have learned as a bishop of the Episcopal Church.
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[F]or instances involving children, we have no statute of limitations on reporting abuse. Those suspected of committing child abuse are immediately reported to the civil authorities for investigation.
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Rather than refusing to acknowledge our transgressions, we sought to change our church's culture -- an effort that took no small amount of courage. In my diocese in New Hampshire, and across the Episcopal Church, we perform a thorough background check on every bishop, priest or deacon who serves under my authority. We correspond with every employer the clergyperson has ever had and every bishop under whom the clergyperson has ever served to determine whether there is a history of complaints.
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Events with and for children may never be conducted without two adults present and always in view of each other. This protects children from abusive behavior and protects adults who might be falsely charged. Many of our parishes have installed windows in the clergy office doors, so that no activity -- even private counseling -- may go unobserved.
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I believe it is misguided and wrong for gay men to be scapegoated in this scandal. As a gay man, I know the pain and the verbal and physical violence that can come from the thoroughly debunked myth connecting homosexuality and the abuse of children. In the media, representatives of and advocates for the Roman Catholic Church have laid blame for sexual abuse at the feet of gay priests. These people know, or should know, that every reputable scientific study shows that homosexuals are no more or less likely to be child abusers than heterosexuals. Psychologically healthy homosexual men are no more drawn to little boys than psychologically healthy heterosexual men are drawn to little girls.
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You will not rid your church of sexual abuse by throwing homosexuals out of your seminaries or out of the priesthood. Homosexual priests have faithfully and responsibly served God throughout Catholic history. To scapegoat them and deprive them of their pulpits is a tragedy for the people they serve and for the church. Yours is a problem of abuse, not sexual orientation.

Nancy Pelosi Statement on ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ Policy

It seems that the Speaker of the House may not be falling for the attempt by Robert Gates and Mike Mullen to torpedo a repeal of DADT. And in the process, she's upped ante for the spineless wonder a/k/a Barack Obama. In response to the letter sent by Gates, Nancy Pelosi has issued a brief press release that calls on Obama to suspend discharges under DADT while waiting for further action from the Department of Defense. With a clear majority of Americans supporting the repeal of DADT, one has to wonder why Obama is so afraid of the issue and/or who the Hell he's listening to - I sure hope it's not bloated homophobe Rick Warren. Here's the information of Pelosi's webpage:

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Washington, D.C. – Speaker Nancy Pelosi released the following statement in response to a letter sent this afternoon by Admiral Michael Mullen, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and Defense Secretary Robert Gates concerning the repeal of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy:
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“We all look forward to the report on the review of the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy by the Defense Department. In the meantime, the Administration should immediately place a moratorium on dismissals under this policy until the review has been completed and Congress has acted.”

Richmond Weekend - EV Commonwealth Dinner

In about an hour the boyfriend and I are headed up to Richmond to attend Equality Virginia's 2010 Commonwealth Dinner. The event is one of EV's biggest fundraisers - the Legends Gala held in November in Norfolk is probably second - and is always fun since it brings together literally people from all over the state. There is always a large contingent from Hampton Roads as well, so I am sure that we will have a wonderful time. I am truly looking for ward to this evening's main speaker - Andrew Sullivan who is a blogger icon to many whether or not one always agrees with his views. I truly identified with Andrew's description of growing up Catholic in his book, Virtually Normal. God knows that there is a plethora of subjects he may address in his talk - especially given Virginia's lurch backwards under Taliban Bob McDonnell and Kookinelli. Here are details on the event:

Equality Virginia’s 7th Annual Commonwealth Dinner
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Downtown Richmond Marriott
With Special Guest Andrew Sullivan

For more information on parking, registration times and other logistical information, please click here.
We still have a few tickets left. You may purchase a ticket by calling our office at 804.643.4816

Saturday Male Beauty

Gates and Joint Chiefs Torpedoing DADT Repeal?

It appears that Defense Secretary Gates and the Joint Chiefs chairman Mullen have forgotten who works for whom. The CIVILIAN leadership calls the shots on political decisions and perhaps it's time that Gates and Mullen gets sent packing in the way Harry Truman "fired" General Douglas MacArthur. The ploy of these men seems beyond transparent - delay repeal so that Democrat losses in November may prevent repeal from happening any time in the near term. This bulls*it infuriates me since I know first hand from those I know personally that gays in the military are generally as good or better service members than border line straight recruits that have been accepted to achieve recruiting goals. Thus, the only agenda served by DADT is the religious based discrimination of gay-haters like Elaine Donnelly, Tony Perkins and other professional Christians. Obviously, this is yet another case of LGBT Americans being thrown under the bus and the weak willed Obama maneuvering for a way to break his promises yet posturing so as to blame it on someone else. Personally, I am SOOOOOOOOOO over Obama's lack of leadership and backbone. Here are highlights from the Washington Post (Gate's letter is set out below - note how he worries about the sensibilities of straight soldiers while caring nothing for LGBT members of the military):
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Defense Secretary Robert Gates on Friday once again asked Congress not to repeal the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy before the Pentagon completes a review of it. In a sharply worded letter, Gates said he believes the Defense Department must be allowed to review the potential impact of repealing the ban on openly gay service members before Congress acts.
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"Our military must be afforded the opportunity to inform us of their concerns, insights and suggestions if we are to carry out this change successfully," Gates wrote in response to an inquiry from House Armed Services Committee Chairman Ike Skelton (D-Mo.).
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The letter was co-signed by the Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman, Adm. Mike Mullen, who joined Gates in voicing personal opposition to the ban at a February Senate hearing.
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Later Friday White House Spokesman Tommy Vietor said, “The President’s commitment to repealing don't ask, don't tell is unequivocal. This is not a question of if, but how. That’s why we’ve said that the implementation of any congressional repeal will be delayed until the DOD study of how best to implement that repeal is completed. The President is committed to getting this done both soon and right.”

Gates Letter to Skelton

Christo-Fascist Kookinelli Tampers with Virginia's Seal

Virginia Attorney General Ken "Kookinelli" Cuccinelli is obviously working hard to prove to the world that he's totally insane and a fool to boot. Now the homophobe extraordinaire is tampering with the great seal of the Commonwealth of Virginia to make it "PG." God forbid that a bare breast be shown to anyone even though the seal has sufficed since 1776 for non-Kool-Aid drinkers. Virginians seriously need to look into how this nutcase can be removed from office. I cannot help but believe that a detailed psychological profile test would indicate that he needs to be institutionalized. Meanwhile, it is ironic that Virginia has further reduced its already pitiful funding for mental health services since Kookinelli obviously could use some help. It's also interesting that rumors that Cuccinelli might actually be a self-loathing closet case may be correct if he's so afraid of a naked female breast. The Virginian Pilot has a story on Kookinelli's latest idiocy. Here are some highlights:
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Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli apparently isn’t fond of wardrobe malfunctions, even when Virginia’s state seal is involved. The seal depicts the Roman goddess Virtus, or virtue, wearing a blue tunic draped over one shoulder, her left breast exposed. But on the new lapel pins Cuccinelli recently handed out to his staff, Virtus’ bosom is covered by an armored breastplate.
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When the new design came up at a staff meeting, workers in attendance said Cuccinelli joked that it converts a risqué image into a PG one. The joke might be on him, said University of Virginia political scientist Larry Sabato. “When you ask to be ridiculed, it usually happens. And it will happen here, nationally,” he said. “This is classical art, for goodness’ sake.”
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If the jokes start to fly, Cuccinelli can’t say he didn’t see it coming, Sabato said – not after what happened in 2002, when U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft ordered drapes installed to cover partially nude statues at the Justice Department. “Ashcroft had one excuse: it hadn’t been done before and he wasn’t prepared for the critical onslaught that he faced,” Sabato said. “Cuccinelli has no excuse at all. He knows what’s coming because of what happened to Ashcroft. You can only conclude that he enjoys being the center of pointless controversy.”
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The Great Seal of the Commonwealth is a two-sided image that dates to 1776. The side depicted on the state flag features Virtus standing victoriously over Tyranny, a male figure prone on the ground in defeat, his crown fallen from his head. Beneath him is the motto Sic Semper Tyrannis: Thus Always to Tyrants.
Three Roman goddesses – Libertas, Aeternitas and Ceres – grace the reverse side of the seal.
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Multiple varieties of the seal have been used over the years, said State Capitol historian Mark Greenough. The modern version is based on language added to the state code in 1930, which specifies that Virtus is “dressed as an Amazon” while clutching a spear in one hand and a sword in the other.
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The secretary of the commonwealth, Janet Polarek, is charged by law with being the keeper of the seal. Asked for an assessment of Cuccinelli’s interpretation, she declined to offer an opinion. When Virtus was fighting Tyranny, Polarek said, “a dress code was probably not her first concern.”

Friday Male Beauty

Arizona's Immigration Reform Violates Christian Values

I have noted numerous times that some of the strongest advocates of harsh immigration reform - some of who would deport American citizens based on their race and sexual orientation - are the same folks who wear their alleged Christianity on their sleeves and endlessly congratulate themselves for their godliness - even as they show themselves to be anything but truly Christian. Many of them claim that the Bible is the inerrant word of God, yet pick and choose which passages to use to persecute others while ignoring those that condemn their hate inspired behavior. Andrew Sullivan correctly calls it a case of Christianism v. Christianity. Andrew even throws out a Bible passage that shows the hypocrisy of the anti-immigrant Christianists:
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Leviticus 19:33-34 (NIV) - When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat him. The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love him as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt.
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The glaring disconnect between alleged Christian beliefs by members of the far right and true Christian behavior seems to be ever expanding and likely is a cause for the increasingly negative view that many have of Christianity. A column in the Washington Post presents the true Christian approach to immigration reform. Here are some highlights:
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In recent days much of the nation's attention concerning immigration has focused on the signing of the SB1070 legislation in Arizona. Among other things this law requires local law enforcement to inquire about a person's legal immigration status if they think there is any suspicion or question regarding the person's status. This law navigates dangerously close to an enforcement-only policy and lends itself to the very perilous and undemocratic practice of racial profiling.
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What criteria would law enforcement use to determine if one is to be suspected of being an illegal or undocumented immigrant? Is there a certain phenotype or look that determines suspicion? Perhaps overhearing the speaking of Spanish might be relevant? There are very good reasons why the passing of this law in Arizona has sent a shudder of fear through the entire Latino community in the United States.
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This is disastrous. It is not in keeping with Christian principles or, for that matter, with basic American values. Think about other provisions of the law. Clergy and people of good will could be arrested for keeping Christ's commandment to love our neighbor by, for example, offering someone a ride to church, school, or work. As Evangelical Christians we cannot refuse to serve and love the immigrant, legal or not. We will not begin screening immigrant status on Sunday morning in our churches. The Gospel will not allow it. We answer to a higher authority. This odious law threatens to divide children from their parents. It emphasizes enforcement without offering any common-sense or workable solutions to immigration challenges.
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White Evangelicals must do more. They must stand up for Christian principle in a more costly way. They must act to make immigration reform a reality right now. They must decry the Arizona legislation as inconsistent with our Christian faith. . . . Immigration reform is a spiritual and moral issue that requires Christians to live up to the meaning of our creed. If Christ welcomed me unconditionally should I do any less with others? Silence is not an option.

Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama

As I previously indicated, “Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama” is a new campaign launched to underscore the urgent need for congressional action and presidential leadership at this critical point in the fight to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). Every weekday morning as we approach the markup of the Defense Authorization bill in the Senate and House Armed Services Committees, SLDN and a coalition of voices - this blog and those of a number of my friends in the LGBT blogger community - supporting repeal, will share an open letter to the President from a person impacted by this discriminatory law.
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As a group, we are urging the President to include repeal in the Administration’s defense budget recommendations, but also to voice his support - as promised during his election campaign and the State of the Union message - to muster the 15 critical votes needed on the Senate Armed Services Committee to include repeal. The Defense Authorization bill represents the best legislative vehicle to bring repeal to the president’s desk. It also was the same vehicle used to pass DADT in 1993. By working together, we can help build momentum to get the votes! We ask that you forward and post these personal stories.
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Today's letter is authored by Former Capt. Rebecca H. Elliott, Untied States Army (pictured above with her sister), who is a straight ally from a strong military oriented family, which further underscore the scourge of religious based discrimination that DADT represents. It ruins the lives and careers of loyal and patriotic Americans ever day. Here is her letter:
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April 30, 2010
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President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500
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Dear Mr. President,
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I am the mother of two young children, and an Iraq war veteran. I joined up just like my dad – a retired Army officer – and my sister, who currently serves in the Guard. My brother is a reservist and has been deployed to both Iraq and Afghanistan. Two weeks ago, our family gathered together as he is leaving again for Afghanistan -- his 4th deployment. Even my husband, Jay, served as an officer in the Air Force until 2008.
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Like my dad, I chose the Army. I reached the rank of Captain and was a platoon leader in the military police. I was there during the invasion of Iraq in 2003.
I had some of the best NCO's (non-commissioned officers) in the Army who could accomplish any mission. Several members of my platoon received decorations for valor during the combat phase of Operation Iraqi Freedom.
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On my last day of active duty, some of my old squad leaders revealed to me that one of my former team leaders was gay. They figured it was safe to tell me, as I was leaving the Army. My first feelings on the matter were, frankly, a little surprised, followed by complete indifference.
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I was surprised because I had never suspected the soldier of being gay. But then, I never really had any thoughts about her sexual orientation whatsoever. When I reflected on it, it didn't make one bit of difference in how she performed her job or how she related to the other soldiers in the platoon. She had the respect of her squad leaders (fairly conservative men, mind you), who kept her secret and continued working with her side-by-side for years.
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As an officer, I would have been bound by my position to report such “credible information” that would have led to the discharge of a great NCO. I am glad that I was never placed in the position of having to choose between one of my soldiers and enforcing this terrible law, which I feel is unfair and wrong.
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Please, Mr. President – at this critical time -- do not allow those serving their country to be forced to choose between good, honorable soldiers, and upholding an unfair law.
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Please, do not continue to allow gays and lesbians in the service to have to choose between hiding a part of their identity and continuing to serve their country.
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Please, help Congress repeal “Don't Ask Don't Tell” now.
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Respectfully,

Former Capt. Rebecca H. Elliott
Untied States Army

Democrat Glenn Nye (2nd Dist. Virginia) Co-sponsor's ENDA

I have been a frequent critic of Glenn Nye on a number of his votes in Congress. However, Nye has gotten it right - at least in part - and has signed on as a co-sponsor of H.R. 3017: Employment Non-Discrimination Act of 2009 ("ENDA"). One of the profound negatives of living in Virginia is the total lack of employment non-discrimination protections for LGBT citizens. ENDA, while not perfect, would apply to employees with more than 15 employees and would have protected me had it been in effect when I was forced from a local law firm in 2004 for being gay. In an e-mail to another constituent in his district, Congressman Nye said in relevant part as follows:

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The Employee Non-Discrimination Act was reintroduced June 19, 2009 by my colleague, Representative Barney Frank. You will be pleased to know I am a cosponsor of this legislation.
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The bill prohibits employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. It also prohibits employers to limit, segregate, or classify employees or applicants in any way that would deprive any individual of employment based on their sexual orientation or gender identity.
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H.R. 3017 is currently being debated in the House Education and Labor, Administration, Oversight and Government Reform, and Judiciary Committees. As Congress considers this and future related legislation, I will continue to stand up against wrongful discrimination.

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Hopefully, Nye will next voice support for the repeal of DADT and give progressive a reason to come out and vote to re-elect him in November.

Ambrose Olson - RIP

I have featured photos of male model Ambrose Olson (pictured above) in prior "Male Beauty" posts and was greatly sadden to learn that he died last week at age 24 - some rumors say of suicide. As long time readers know, suicide is an issue that hits a bit too close to home for me since I have lost friends to suicide and have had a couple of very close encounters of my own, the last being in late September 2009. If indeed Ambrose Olson took his own life, I hope he has found peace that he obviously sought/needed. Obviously, one has to wonder what would drive someone young a beautiful to such an act, but then we never know what is in the heart and mind of others. My thoughts and prayers go out to those who loved him and who now no doubt look back and wish they had done more or done things differently. The message to be learned is that we need to live each day in the moment and love others unconditionally. We truly never know when death might take any one of us and we need to live our lives accordingly. Let those you love know how much you love them and cherish them each and every day. It is a message that I wish I had fully known many years ago.

Thursday Male Beauty

Safe Sex Education is a Must

Tonight the boyfriend and I are hosting a fundraiser for ACCESSAIDS Care at one of the participating restaurants in the area for Dining Out for Life and what strikes me is that with everything that is now known about HIV/AIDS, young gays are still becoming infected at alarming rates. While HIV/AIDS is not the guaranteed death sentence of 30 years ago, why on earth aren't young people - and many older people more careful? If one is not in a 100% monogamous relationship with someone who has been tested and is HIV-, one should NEVER have unsafe sex. Yet it happens over and over again that care and common sense are thrown to the wind and potentially deadly conduct is engaged in as a result of foolishness, too much alcohol or perhaps drug induced stupidity. Now, porn star Sean Lockhart - better known as Brent Corrigan - who is no stranger to controversy and negative news is featured in same sex videos being put out by Washington D.C.– based STD prevention group DC Fuk !t. The first video - which is definitely NSFW - is explicit and hopefully will get the attention of those who might otherwise engage in stupid conduct since Corrigan is featured in it. Here's some highlights from The Advocate's take on the safe sex campaign:
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Porn star Brent Corrigan has partnered with Washington D.C.–based STD prevention group DC Fuk !t for a series of instructional videos on proper condom use and sexual health.
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The program launched last year after a study revealed the nation’s capital has the highest percentage of HIV-positive residents in the country. It promotes safe sex and condom use through the distribution of safe sex kits promoted by a series of provocative, often sexually graphic ads and videos.
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Cofounder Terry Gerace, M.D. says he recruited Corrigan for the campaign because of what he’s learned since starring in a series of bareback films at the beginning of his career while he was still underage.
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“He has long since become an advocate for safer sex and has very publicly apologized for his past appearances in films depicting unsafe sexual practices,” Gerace says. Garace talked to The Advocate about Corrigan’s video shoot, why he thinks the young porn star has more than redeemed himself for his bareback films, . .
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It was really about it being someone who learned from their behavior and made a change, which I think represents most young people. They’ll start out doing something high-risk, and if they’re lucky, they’ll survive it and make a change. That’s what he did, so I think in a lot of ways, he represents your average person.
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It’s about being honest, really. Gay men don’t learn a lot about sex in the sex-ed classroom. They learn on the Internet, from porn. That’s where they’re getting this material, and we were seeing such resurgence in bareback online that we needed to put out an alternative that focused on safer sex. It’s tongue-in-cheek. a little bit. that they’re public service announcements, but they’re very straightforward in showing you exactly what you have to do. I think they’re pretty effective. I was bracing for negative feedback, and frankly, we haven’t gotten any.
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Kudos to Fuk !T and Corrigan. I hope the campaign helps individuals to avoid an avoidable disease. And again, DO NOT watch the video at work!!

A "Thank You" From/To Robyn Deane

The way in which the Internet allows one to connect with people is amazing. I just received a comment from Robyn Deane, Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell's transgender former sister-in-law, concerning the effort made to disseminate her message. Her message is posted on The Bilerico Project version of the post I did on this blog. Robyn is not the first to connect based on blog posts that I have done. Recently, after posting about Australian former Olympic swimmer Daniel Kowalski, I was surprised to find an e-mail from Kowalski himself saying "Thank You." Here's the message from Robyn Dean:
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Hello!!
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I signed on to say "Thank you!!" to everyone that went before me, paving an easier road to travel than was available long ago when I first realized who I was. Now, it's becoming difficult to imagine a world where such uplifting support wouldn't be available!! Sometimes, I think, we overlook just how far we've come...doesn't mean the job is done; just that we've made quite a bit of progress!!
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Again, Thank you all very much and I remain committed (Oh my, the sense of humor just jumped into hyper-drive!!) ...to our cause, that is, until the questions change from "Who do they think they are?" to "What were we all thinking?" If it takes being "in it" for the long-haul to get to that point, then I'm in it for the long-haul!!
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Warmest regards,
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Robyn Deane

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My message to Robyn is," Thank You for your courage and willingness to speak out for fairness and equality." If we all work together we can continue to change hearts and minds.

Stories from the Frontlines: Day Four - Letters to President Barack Obama

Today's letter - more on the full project can be found here - is interesting in many ways, not the least because it is from a current active duty military chaplain and because he does not want his name published for fear of reprisals. SLDN states:
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"SLDN has confirmed the authenticity of Thursday's letter coming from an active-duty military chaplain. The chaplain just returned from a 15-month deployment in Iraq." . . . (The writer is currently serving and unable to identify himself publicly.)"
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The disheartening thing about DADT is that it forces out superior service members or causes them to live a lie and live in fear. If you want an example of irony, the current chairman of Equality Virginia (who is a close personal friend) retired honorably after 20 years in the Air Force. He served with distinction - as have many of the gays in the military that I know locally, many of whom are still serving their country. Here is today's letter that makes a mockery out of the bigotry of the 40 retired chaplains who recently wrote to Congress who care only about making their own religion paramount and to inflict it on all - something that of itself mocks the U.S. Constitution:
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April 29, 2010
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President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500
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Dear Mr. President,
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As an active-duty military chaplain who just returned from a 15-month deployment in Iraq, this is my appeal for justice: Over the years some of us have buried our closest friends -- officers and enlisted, African American, Latinos, Native Americans, Asians, Whites, rich, poor, Protestants, Catholics, Muslims and Jews. They had the courage to make the supreme sacrifice in order for us to reap the bounties of freedom. We owe them a debt of gratitude which can never be repaid.
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What is remarkable about these Marines, Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Coastguardsmen is they understood the personal risk when they answered the highest calling of our nation. What could be a nobler act then to give one’s life to one’s country, knowing that in their lives many freedoms would be denied them?
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And when their story is told a significant piece of their life would be missing.
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As they sleep under the crosses, the stars of David and the crescents there is no bigotry. There is no prejudice. There is no hatred. And within the sacred confines of their resting place there is no law of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.” There is only purest democracy.
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When the final cross has been placed in the last cemetery, will it only be then that we as a nation acknowledge our gay brothers and sisters who took the risks of life and truth to answer their nation’s highest calling? How many of these brave men and women lie in military graves and still hide in death?
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They are among the unknown soldiers.
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There are only a few who know the truth of those who lie in these graves. There are only a few who know the suffering and sorrow of those who mourn them in silence and fear. The nation remains silent and owes no allegiance to who they truly were nor does it honor their loved ones. What does that say of our sacred values?

If one gay person was killed in defense of America, issues such as the destruction of unit morale or the fear of people not wanting to join the military devalue their sacrifice. This is not about appeasing the uncomfortable feelings of a minority; this is a universal and transcendent matter of justice. America was built on the common Jewish and Christian heritage of justice when the Bible commands: “Justice, justice you shall pursue” (Deuteronomy 16:20).
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It is easy for those who do not live in fear of being ‘outed’ to say: ‘We must wait and examine this law further.’ But when you have to watch what you say, where you go, and who you talk to, this erodes the human person. When you live in fear that the wrong pronoun slips through your lips, or a co-worker see you in public with your life long partner and you respond ‘this is just a friend’, this degrades your human self worth.
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Gays and lesbians wait not for justice, for them justice is denied, but they wait for the ‘knock on the door.’ They are haunted daily waiting ‘to be found out.’
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We went to foreign lands to wage war to liberate people so they would not have to live in the fear of waiting. But citizens of our own land who served nobly, who died to secure freedoms which they would never profit from, must live in fear waiting for justice.
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"Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell" is an unjust law. It degrades the human soul because it forces those who willingly serve to live in shameful humiliation because of deceit and fear. It undermines the very principles and values of what it means to be an American. Living the façade of a life goes against the Core Values of every Armed Service. How much longer is justice going to be denied? There comes a time when despair and fear must end.
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Mr. President, we depend on your sense of justice and fairness to help end this gross injustice so we, as a nation, do not have to wait for the final marker to be placed in the last cemetery.
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We ask you to lead the way in repealing this unjust law and replace it with a policy of non-discrimination that advances open and honest service. A law that is consistent with true American values and honors the sacrifices of so many who have served – and died -- in silence.
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With deepest respect,
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A military chaplain
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It is past time for President Obama and Congressional Democrats to keep faith and their promises to LGBT Americans.

More Wednesday Male Beauty

ABA and Interfaith Alliance Support Repeal of DADT

Any lawyer who can read the U.S. Constitution, Virginia's Statute for Religious Freedom authored by Thomas Jefferson, and many other laws and court rulings against religious based discrimination should have no problem discerning the impropriety and unconstitutionality of DADT. At least if that lawyer doesn't allow his/her personal religious beliefs to trump their duties as an officer of the court to uphold the civil laws and the nation's Constitution. Thus, it is no surprise to me that the American Bar Association ("ABA") has come out against DADT and sent a letter urging Congress to repeal DADT. As the Legal Times Blog reports:
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American Bar Association sent a letter to the U.S. Senate, House of Representatives and Department of Defense on Monday expressing its "strong support" for ending the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
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"Subjecting a person to discharge from military service on the basis of sexual orientation is, and always has been, a denial of the very constitutional protections that the oath administered to military members calls upon servicemembers to protect," wrote ABA President Carolyn Lamm.
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"Contrary to the asserted purpose of the policy, ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ appears already to have hampered military readiness by requiring the dismissal of hundreds of highly trained and skilled personnel," Lamm wrote.

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Also joining the fray and seeking to counter a letter - probably arranged by Elaine Donnelly or some other professional homophobe - from 40 retired military chaplains. Obviously, I question the propriety of chaplains seeking to influence CIVIL legislation that currently embodies unconstitutional religious based discrimination. I also question why anyone in Congress should listen to retired relics of a by gone day who are more than likely utterly out of touch with the younger generation that is not afflicted with the homophobia of yesteryear. In any event, Interfaith Alliance President, Rev. Dr. C. Welton Gaddy, issued a statement today in response to a letter from these retired chaplains asking President Obama and Defense Secretary Gates to uphold the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy of gays in the military. (Founded in 1994, Interfaith Alliance has 185,000 members across the country from 75 faith traditions as well as those without a faith tradition.) Here are some highlights:
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As a longtime advocate for equal rights for all citizens, regardless of race, religion, gender, or sexual orientation, I am deeply troubled by the views expressed in today’s letter from a group of retired military chaplains to President Obama and Defense Secretary Gates. It is so fraught with illogical reasoning, one almost does not know where to begin in discussing its content.
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The chaplains claim that their religious freedoms would be threatened if gays serve openly in the military. Yet, repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” in no way would hinder chaplains from voicing their personal moral convictions and theological doctrines. The chaplaincy should represent the diversity of faiths in the military, not simply one point of view.
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Similarly, the chaplains argue that this would impact their “ability to counsel” because “service members seeking guidance regarding homosexual relationships will place chaplains in an untenable position.” By this logic, we also should ban all service members whose gambling habits, treatment of spouses, and views on abortion, politics, or the economy are not in line with those of the chaplains. As a Baptist minister, I frequently counsel people whose beliefs on a number of subjects are not exactly in line with the religious or moral values that I embrace. Such a challenge in counseling comes with the territory of being a clergy member.
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The views expressed by the chaplains are the antithesis of the themes of love and inclusion commended and demonstrated by the Christ from whom they form their religious identity. If Christian chaplains followed the teachings of Jesus they would have no problem joining any military member in prayer or spiritual thought.
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Our servicemen and women deserve chaplains who support and comfort them as they carry out their military duties regardless of their individual lifestyles. Sexual orientation is no more a hindrance to that mission now than was racial identity years ago. Repealing “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is a step forward in equality and justice for all citizens. When chaplains find the government’s pursuit of these goals to be a threat to their values, we must ask whether something is askew with their values.

Figure Skating Cat Fight: Lysacek v. Weir

Both Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir are amazing figure skaters and until now I have respected both - even when Weir has been over the top and failed to live up to his potential. Both delivered wonderful routines in the recent Olympic Games and - as one who spent years around ice rinks and competitive skating with one of my daughters - Weir got screwed by the judges. My respect and admiration has been given to both Weir and Lysacek - that is until now. Now, it seems that Lysacek is having a tempestuous love affair with himself and is acting down right catty and nasty. Much like a peevish queen even. Yes, Weir is flamboyant and always himself whereas Lysacek seems obsessed with not only winning, but also being what others want him to be. Recently, Lysacek made down right horrible remarks disparaging Weir and stating that Weir was not good enough for "Stars on Ice" even though that show includes far lesser skaters than Weir. Out Sports has this to say in part about Lysacek bitter queen remarks and action:

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Evan Lysacek has sharpened his claws on Johnny Weir in a new interview over at MetroMix.com. . . . He’s either blind or a bigger bitch than any of us knew. Weir was third at the U.S. Nationals and sixth at the Olympics this year (and consensus is that he was one of the top four skaters at the Olympics). He’s won U.S. Nationals three times and finished second once. He’s also won a bronze at Worlds. He’s easily as decorated as Evan’s tour-mate Michael Weiss, the difference being that Weiss is married to a woman. And Weir is more accomplished than Jeremy Abbott by a mile, the difference being that Abbott doesn’t walk around in his underwear on national TV.
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No Evan, Johnny wasn’t whining. He was reacting to perceived homophobia. But I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that, since you’re straight as an arrow.
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At least Evan left this little gem for us in the interview… Last question: Are you seeing anyone? I’m single. The reason, well…(laughs)…I’m limited to who I can see. I’m dating in L.A., but I just haven’t found the right girl. Oh, Evan. You silly boy.

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Weir, never one to be caught at a loss for words, had some barbs to throw back at Lysacek. Here's some highlights via The Advocate:
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Johnny Weir appeared on The Wendy Williams Show Wednesday and responded to Evan Lysacek’s claims that Stars on Ice didn’t invite Weir to participate in the tour because he’s not good enough.
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“Even if they asked me today, I wouldn’t do it,” Weir said. And Evan… he’s a slore.” The word, a combination of “slut” and “whore,” made Williams laugh, and the talk-show host followed it up by thanking Weir for making this year’s figure skating competition “interesting and fabulous.”
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Lysacek may have the Olympic Gold, but I suspect that it's Johnny Weir who has the gold medal in life of embracing who is his and not hiding in some self-imposed closet like Lysacek may be doing.

Supreme Court Hears Washington State Referendum 71 Case

One of the ironies of the activities of the Uber-Christians is that in addition to wearing their religion on their sleeves much like the ostentatious Pharisees condemned in the Bible, they also pat themselves on the back and claim to be "real Americans" and pretend to be the defenders of democracy. That is except for when democracy and political disclosure laws are inconvenient and might demonstrate to the world that they are actually nasty bigots who prefer to harm the civil rights of other citizens anonymously. The case that was just argued before the U.S. Supreme Court involving the Christianist effort to block the release of the names of those who signed petitions to place a potential repeal of same sex domestic partnership rights on the ballot shines a bright light on the hypocrisy of these self-congratulatory "Christians." Few things pose a bigger threat to democracy than ballot measures put in place by anonymous parties - conspirators if you will - with no transparency as to who and what money interests are behind the anti-liberty initiatives. The Advocate looks at this story and surprisingly, Antonin Scalia may not help out his fellow religious extremists. Here are some highlights:
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Gay rights opponents arguing before the U.S. Supreme Court to keep secret the names of petitioners who opposed a Washington state domestic partnership law said on Wednesday that such disclosure would have a chilling effect on freedom of speech.
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During oral arguments in Doe v. Reed — a lawsuit arising from Washington’s Referendum 71, in which voters ultimately approved an “everything but marriage” law for gay couples — Protect Marriage Washington attorney James Bopp. Jr. argued that “no person should suffer harassment” as a result of participating in the political process by signing a petition.
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Several justices appeared skeptical of Bopp’s arguments, however. Justice Antonin Scalia, who has historically voted against protecting anonymous speech, was particularly aggressive in questioning Bopp, saying that, “Running a democracy takes a certain amount of civic courage.”
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“The First Amendment does not protect you from criticism, or even nasty phone calls when you exercise your political rights to legislate,” Scalia said. Scalia told Bopp that he is asking the Court “to enter into a whole new field” by asking the justices to overturn Washington’s open records law.
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"The people of Washington evidently think that this is not too much of an imposition upon people's courage, to stand up and sign something and be willing to stand behind it," Scalia said. Scalia further ridiculed Protect Marriage Washington's attempt to block disclosure of the signatures, calling the arguments "touchy-feely."
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Washington attorney general Rob McKenna argued that public disclosure of petition signatures, is, like campaign contributions and voter rolls, vital to the state’s interest in protecting against fraud.
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A majority of Washington voters approved the expanded domestic partnership rights for same-sex couples in November. Following the referendum, Protect Marriage Washington sued to block the release of the signatures it had collected, fearing that those in favor of stripping gays and lesbians of expanded domestic partnership rights would face harassment and retribution.
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I can think of few things more un-American or more cowardly than wanting to attack the civil rights of other citizens and then hide behind anonymity rather than stand up publicly for their convictions. Indeed, the Protect Marriage Washington crowd come across as some what akin to Nazi informants who anonymously turned in Jews.

Laura Bush: I Told George Not to Make Gay Marriage an Issue

It seems that sadly we had the wrong Bush as president during the eight dark years of the Bush/Cheney regime. This interesting tidbit from Laura Bush's new book via Towleroad which shows that the Chimperator apparently listened to no one other than Rove and Cheney:

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A passage from Laura Bush's memoir, Spoken from the Heart, out next week: "In 2004 the social question that animated the campaign was gay marriage. Before the election season had unfolded, I had talked to George about not making gay marriage a significant issue. We have, I reminded him, a number of close friends who are gay or whose children are gay. But at that moment I could never have imagined what path this issue would take and where it would lead.”

Wednesday Male Beauty

Gay rights are There for the Taking, and Now is a Good Time to Do It.

Gerald, a reader in Melbourne, Australia, whose life parallel's my own in some respects and with whom I have corresponded from time to time, sent me an op-ed piece from The Age, Melbourne's principal newspaper, that addresses the need/opportunity for gays to seize equality rather than wait for our detractors to die off or grudgingly throw crumbs to us. The young author of the op-ed column was inspired to write the piece by the decision of former Australian Olympic swimmer, Daniel Kowalski, to come out of the closet. The subject that he addresses is relevant in the USA where we are now seeing more direct action and non-violent protests by Get=Equal and opponents of DADT. The message is that whining and staying closeted is not the answer. Coming out can be dangerous for one's career - especially in backwaters like Virginia - but the alternative is soul killing. My coming out journey has been difficult as long time readers of this blog know full well, but the reward of finally just being you, the real you, has a value beyond measure. Here are some highlights:

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I'm humbled when I read stories about those in the spotlight - most recently Daniel Kowalski - coming out. I can remember how hard it was two years ago, aged 18, to tell my family and friends that I was gay; I have no conception of how hard it must be to do it in the public eye.
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That said, I feel it's happening more and more. In the past fortnight we've also seen dozens of footballers - footballers! - tell the young, scared gay people of Australia that it's OK to be who you are.
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It is an exciting time to be gay in Australia. Not only is this probably the safest time, there's also the inescapable feeling that things continue to change for the better. Nevertheless, as a minority, we're still stuck on the cusp of full rights and freedoms in the eyes of the law, and our peers. The lack of full acceptance means young girls and boys suffer depression and even someone as successful as Kowalski can be overcome with loneliness.
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I'm not writing this because I believe I'm especially experienced or qualified to do so. In fact, I'm writing this exactly because I'm not. I'm a young, average gay kid from the outer suburbs of Melbourne who has grown up with a similar struggle to Kowalski and many, many others. I want to speak to those like me who feel we deserve more. The gay minority has the distinction of being unlike most other minorities - we do not share a common background, a common heritage or set of values. We make up the exact same proportion of every class, every race, every religion, and every nationality. We are the most eclectic minority one could imagine. We are as diverse as Australia is flat.
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I believe it's for this reason that we have found it hard to obtain equality under the law. We are mistaken into believing there is nothing that unites us besides our sexual preference. But there is one other uniting factor. . . . the thing that unites us is a simple understanding: that we are more than what most people believe we are. We are not beholden to the stereotypes. We are each and every one of us who we want to be.
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If gay people do not have their rights, it is because we are yet to take them. The civil rights champions of the '60s didn't wait for their rights to be given to them; they stood up and demanded them. We must do the same.
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We need to unite; we need more leaders such as Daniel Kowalski who unabashedly declare who they are and why that's OK; each one helps our cause. If just half the kids I see at the clubs each week turned out to a protest, we would speak with such a voice that it would drown out all opposition.
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The difficulty of coming out and living out will only be overcome when we realise our rights are there for the taking. We just need to take a chance.

More American Expatriates Give Up Citizenship

The New York Times has a story that ought to cause concerns in Washington. Americans living and working overseas are beginning to increasingly renounce their citizenship because of double taxation issues and the fact that they are treated as would be terrorists in their financial dealings. And the story does not even get into the issue of LGBT Americans who are moving overseas so that they can be together with their partners who may be unable to remain in the USA. One would think that keeping hard working citizens would be a priority for the U.S. government, but it seems that such is not the case. Not only is the USA no longer the true land of the free where religious freedom is truly afforded to all citizens, but now its expatriates are getting screwed financially as well. Frankly, as third class citizens in Virginia (second class in the nation as a whole) the boyfriend and I have no strong compunction to remain in America once our elderly parents pass. Indeed, my children for the most part likewise recognize that the USA is a fraud in terms of legal equality for all. Citizenship is a two way street and not just about what citizens can do for a country, but also about what a country gives back to its citizens. Here are some story highlights:
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Amid mounting frustration over taxation and banking problems, small but growing numbers of overseas Americans are taking the weighty step of renouncing their citizenship.
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“What we have seen is a substantial change in mentality among the overseas community in the past two years,” said Jackie Bugnion, director of American Citizens Abroad, an advocacy group based in Geneva. “Before, no one would dare mention to other Americans that they were even thinking of renouncing their U.S. nationality. Now, it is an openly discussed issue.”
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Anecdotally, frustrations over tax and banking questions, not political considerations, appear to be the main drivers of the surge. Expat advocates say that as it becomes more difficult for Americans to live and work abroad, it will become harder for American companies to compete.
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American expats have long complained that the United States is the only industrialized country to tax citizens on income earned abroad, even when they are taxed in their country of residence, though they are allowed to exclude their first $91,400 in foreign-earned income.
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Some U.S.-based banks have closed expats’ accounts because of difficulty in certifying that the holders still maintain U.S. addresses, as required by a Patriot Act provision. “It seems the new anti-terrorist rules are having unintended effects,” Daniel Flynn, who lives in Belgium, wrote in a letter quoted by the Americans Abroad Caucus in the U.S. Congress in correspondence with the Treasury Department.
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Kathleen Rittenhouse, who lives in Canada, wrote that until she encountered a similar problem, “I did not know that the Patriot Act placed me in the same category as terrorists, arms dealers and money launderers.”
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Relinquishing citizenship is relatively simple. The person must appear before a U.S. consular or diplomatic official in a foreign country and sign a renunciation oath. This does not allow a person to escape old tax bills or military obligations. Now, expats’ representatives fear renunciations will become more common. “It is a sad outcome,” Ms. Bugnion said, “but I personally feel that we are now seeing only the tip of the iceberg.”

Stories from the Frontlines: Day Three Letter to President Barack Obama

The stories of those who have been discharged from the U.S. military due to the codified religious discrimination embodied in the failed Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy continue. As of yesterday, 30 blogs are helping disseminate the letters - this blog having been one of the first 10 to do so at the launch of the program. DADT is something that I find abhorrent that must go THIS YEAR. Today's letter to President Obama is from former Marine LCpl. Danny Hernandez (pictured at left) whose discharge bears similarities to that of two clients of mine who had their careers ruined by allegations lodged by disgruntled/bigoted service members. For readers just picking up on this series, these letters are open letters to the President, we are formally sending them in good faith via the White House website. Major Mike Almy and Capt. Joan Darrah - the authors of the first two letters of the series - received confirmation, several minutes after sending, that it was received by the White House Office of Presidential Correspondence. SLDN is collecting all of the letters here. This is Danny's letter to his president who has failed to live up to his promises to LGBT Americans:
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April 28, 2010
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President Barack H. Obama

The White House

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest

Washington, DC 20500
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Dear Mr. President,
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I was humbled to have earned the title of U.S. Marine just two years ago – my goal since I was 14 years old. But just nine weeks ago, I was informed of my discharge under the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” law. Mr. President, if I could be serving my country right now – I would be. Instead, I was fired while you were my Commander and Chief.
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The stories we hear of discharged service members are becoming far too common and are based around a primitive law that we should have eliminated years ago. As this injustice continues to hurt our country, we are in desperate need of your support and leadership as we work to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.”
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After I finished my training, I was a 20-year-old reservist. I returned to school to continue working on my undergraduate degree with hopes of becoming an officer. I wish I could tell you about my distinguished service, about stories from the war overseas, or about how being a Marine has changed my perspective on life, but I can’t.
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My discharge came from the fear that my sexual orientation was going to be revealed by a third party; a group of unknown Marines who threatened to use my sexuality as a way to retaliate after a dispute in a bar. I had spoken with two fellow Marines from my unit; both of whom I trusted. They calmed me, told me that it wasn’t a big deal, and reassured me that everything was going to be fine.
I returned to drill only to find out that the two Marines – the Marines I confided in -- had mentioned it and word had reached my 1st Sergeant and Commanding Officer. They told the two Marines to submit written statements detailing everything I had told them.
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When I walked in to my 1st Sergeant's office the first question out of his mouth was, "Are you gay?" I answered honestly. The investigation was now underway.
The 1st Sergeant proceeded to tell me that there was no way he could protect my privacy in the matter, citing the “grapevine,” and having no control over what people within the unit said or did. I was told by my CO to hang tight and wait to hear from the Battalion Commander.
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Ultimately I was discharged, a fate I found out only through my persistent calls and emails. My dreams of being an officer had been shattered and it felt as if the world was tumbling down on me and all I could do was step aside.
Upon earning the title of Marine, I took an oath and vowed to “defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” This enemy is a domestic one, and with your direction as Commander and Chief, this is a war in which we can be victorious.
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“Semper Fidelis” is the Marine Corps motto meaning “Always Faithful.” Not only am I willing and anxious to go overseas, but I am prepared to pay the ultimate sacrifice in order to protect our freedoms. I have remained faithful to my country; please be faithful to me.
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Very Respectfully,
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LCpl. Danny Hernandez, USMC (Separated)
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Sadly, I am personally coming to believe that Barack Obama does not know what it is to be faithful and keep his promises. I find it disgusting and if it continues, I may well sit out the November 2010 elections since Obama and the Congressional Democrats are proving that having them in control does nothing more for LGBT Americans than having the GOP in charge. At least with the GOP our enemies do not pretend to be our allies.

More Tuesday Male Beauty

Exodus Co-Founder: I’m A Vocal Critic of Reparative Therapy and of Exodus International.

One of the most calculated and perverse lies disseminated by Christianists and the political enemies of full LGBT equality is that sexual orientation is a "choice" and that it can be "changed." This lie has caused so much emotional pain and so many failed marriages - my own being one of them - that it enrages me that our enemies continue to deliberately peddle the same falsehoods even as mental health experts have increasingly concluded that one's sexual orientation is immutable and not changeable. Worse yet, the purveyors of the "choice myth" and "change myth" as I call them truly care nothing about the damaged lives that they leave in their wake. No, instead, it's all about the money to be made from these false cure programs and/or the political weapon the known lies provide. Some have come to see the error of their ways and now speak out against reparative therapy and organizations that promote it, Exodus International being perhaps the largest. One such person is Michael Bussee, an original co-founder of Exodus International. Daniel Gonzales has a must read piece at Box Turtle Bulletin that looks at an interview with Bussee in which he describes his own ill-fated marriage and the damage "marriage to make one self straight" has as its legacy. Here are highlights:
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Some people in the ex-gay movement become so deeply involved they make the drastic step of getting married. Michael Bussee took that step and talks today about his inner conflict in doing so. Michael recognized he wasn’t a heterosexual when he got married but chose to anyway because he believed God would reward him with heterosexuality if he truly committed himself to God and took his vows as a leap of faith. Once married Michael found himself in an uncomfortable position as a role model at Exodus and privately tried to discourage his own clients from marrying.
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Michael talks about the damage caused by using marriage as proof of change and the collateral damage that occurs when mixed orientation (ex-gay) marriages come to an end.
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[W]e were encouraged by people at the church that perhaps getting married was that final step that maybe I was “holding back the change” by not giving myself whole heartedly to her, that if I made the vows and truly gave our lives together to God that that might be the breakthrough and I might finally receive the heterosexual gift.
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So we were actually given that advice that we should marry. I realize now that it was irresponsible advice and some people are still given that advice that they really need to settle down and that eventually God will reward their vows by creating heterosexuality within them.
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That does so much collateral damage, I’ve talked to so many spouses who felt like failures themselves because their husband or wife didn’t change, there was something wrong with their faith too.
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To hear Alan Chambers talk about his marriage yet admitting it took 9 months or so to even consummate the marriage that he has “to daily deny what comes naturally for him.”
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You really need to talk to the spouses of gay men . . . ex-gay men to realize the harm, the collateral damage. It devastated my life, it devastated Gary’s wife when we came out and admitted that we weren’t really ex-gay. It devastated my family, it devastated my daughter.
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That collateral damage is minimized, they like to paint this happily ever after picture but they don’t say what happens when those marriages fall apart, when the masquerade is over.
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I myself was never in an "ex-gay" program, but due to the brainwashing I received in my religious upbringing, being gay was just to horrible to contemplate and I - like so many, many others - deceived myself and engaged in the same types of self-denial and lies encouraged by Exodus International and similar organizations. I truly believe that God has a special place in Hell for James Dobson, Robert Knight, and the other false Christians who knowingly and deliberately preach the "ex-gay" and "choice myths."