A Pre-nupt for Digital Privacy?

The boyfriend and I are getting married this weekend but we are not getting a pre-nuptial agreement for digital privacy.   But then again, we are not celebrities or as high drama and high maintenance as someone like Johnny Weir whose marital roller coaster is a tabloid dream come true.   But for many celebrities, such agreements is a growing trend so that upon a divorce their soon to be former spouse cannot use personal information in divorce court or to unleash a tabloid "War of the Roses."  I do not, thank god, do divorce work, but I have drafted pre-nuptial agreements for clients, especially LGBT clients.  The Daily Beast looks at the new trend:

The breakup, makeup, and alleged breakup again of figure skater Johnny Weir and his husband, Victor Voronov, has captivated media and skating fans alike. The flamboyance Weir has long brought to his performances on the ice colored this story as well, from accusations of high-fashion theft to a brewing custody battle for the couple’s dog Tema. Then there are the more serious mutual allegations of domestic violence. But the contents of a post-nuptial agreement reported to be a last-ditch effort to save the union proved to be even more eyebrow raising than many of the allegations Weir and Voronov hurled back and forth at each other in the media and in court.

According to reports, the post-nup contained provisions requiring Weir’s mother to stop meddling so much (a request many unhappy spouses dream of!) and another, more unique demand: specific restrictions on whom the couple may text and what kind of texting is appropriate, with specific language to address “sexting.” (Voronov previously alleged texting proof that Weir had been unfaithful.)

Weir and Voronov are certainly not the first couple to be undone by text messages. According to reports, Tiger Woods’s affairs were uncovered as a result of intercepted text messages by his wife.

But here’s a question: Should spouses be permitted to access to each other’s texts or email at all and use them in litigation during breakups? Increasingly, high-powered couples are determining the answer is no, and are going to great lengths to insure that a spouse cannot do so without repercussions. Specifically, more couples are beginning to request digital privacy clauses in prenuptial and post-nuptial agreements.

According to Steven J. Eisman, a matrimonial lawyer with Abrams Fensterman, “In a prenuptial or post-nuptial agreement a digital privacy clause is put in place so a spouse can’t reveal the other spouse’s personal information in court if a divorce were to occur. This includes all digital devices for example, smartphone, computer and tablets.” Eisman explained that digital privacy clauses are distinguished from traditional non-disclosure agreements in that most NDAs have exceptions for courts of law. But digital privacy clauses can specifically preclude a spouse from using anything gathered on a laptop or cell phone in divorce proceedings. This is particularly important for public figures, where confidential information revealed in divorce proceedings can prove particularly damaging.

At first glance, digital privacy clauses may simply sound like yet another way for a wealthy person to gain the upper hand over a less moneyed, less powerful partner in divorce proceedings. After all, a poorer person usually has less leverage in prenuptial agreement negotiations. So if the wealthier partner says, “I don’t want you going through my emails ever or you will face a financial penalty,” one might presume he or she has something to hide—like multiple girlfriends or boyfriends. But what’s at stake for public figures is not necessarily just a secret sexual indiscretion.

For these individuals, insuring that an angry ex can’t use certain emails, texts or social media during disputes is not simply a matter of being discreet, but being a smart businessperson.

But public figures are not the only ones who need to weigh the costs and benefits of digital privacy clauses. Catherine Zang, of Cincinnati, Ohio, discovered her husband had been using surveillance equipment to record her in their home, and software to copy her emails and record who she was corresponding with online.

Eisman said these clauses are likely more common than we think and will continue to gain in popularity, particularly among those in positions of prominence and power. “There is a lot of talk about certain politicians who have gone through divorces where allegedly their spouses have gotten information off their computers and put it in safe deposit boxes,” he said. “There are rumors. You never know. There are people at high levels whether corporate or government who discuss all sorts of things in email.”

 What do readers think about this issue?

Figure Skating Star Johnny Weir Marries Boyfriend

Johnny Weir tried to keep people guessing for a while as to his sexual orientation, but it's clearly out in the open after his book Welcome to My World and now that news has circulated that Weir has married boyfriend Victor Voronov (the two are pictured at right). Weir got married in New York over the holiday weekend and is reportedly honeymooning in the Dominican Republic with his new husband. I wish them both the best of luck and happiness and I long for the day when a same sex couple getting married doesn't even merit comment because it has become so routine and commonplace. Here are highlights from GayStarNews:

Johnny Weir did a lot more than celebrate the New Year over the weekend: he also got married. The skating star tweeted this simple message on Saturday: 'I'm married!'

The other groom is Georgetown Law School grad Victor Voronov who quickly changed his twitter name to Victor Weir-Voronov and posted a photo of the newly-wed pair. The couple are currently honeymooning in Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic.

Weir, 27, is a three-time U.S. national champion and was a bronze medalist at the 2008 World Championships. He was evasive about his sexuality until early last year when he opened up in his book Welcome to My World.

Once he came out publicly, Weir began to speak out about LGBT equality. Last June, when he was grand marshal of the West Hollywood Gay Pride Parade he said: '[I'm] representing our brothers and sisters all over the world – and even in America – who are still discriminated against, still don’t have equal rights as Americans. I’m here with love for everybody. I’m so, so proud.'

Anti-Gay U. S. Olympic Official Quits

While those behind his appointment are claiming ignorance of his anti-gay views, Peter Vidmar who had been appointed as chief of the U. S. Olympic mission for 2012, has resigned. Johnny Weir (at right) among others caused a brief firestorm that led to Vidmar's resignation which I believe was totally appropriate. With a growing number of nations granting full marriage rights to same sex couples and a growing number of out athletes, a homophobe has no place on the Olympic commission which should represent all citizen athletes. The tide of history is turning slowly but steadily against anti-gay bigotry and the Olympic commission needs to embrace the future rather than have its face represented by bigotry. I am beyond over those who seek to inflict their personal religious beliefs on all of society. If they want to do so, then I suggest they move to Afghanistan Uganda or some similar place. Here are highlights from the New York Times:
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Peter Vidmar, a two-time Olympic gold medalist in gymnastics, stepped down Friday as the chief of mission for the 2012 United States Olympic team after a controversy about his public opposition to same-sex marriage.
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He said he resigned because he did not want his personal views to overshadow the athletes. “The sooner we can get back to helping focus on London and our athletes, the better,” Vidmar said in an e-mail.
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Vidmar, a Mormon, was a supporter of Proposition 8, a California ballot measure that defined marriage as being between a man and a woman. He said he was against same-sex marriage for religious reasons, and that his views would not affect his interactions with the United States Olympic team.
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Still, the controversy about his views grew after his appointment. Last Thursday, the openly gay figure skater Johnny Weir called Vidmar’s appointment “disgraceful” in an article on the Web site of The Chicago Tribune.

Figure Skating Cat Fight: Lysacek v. Weir

Both Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir are amazing figure skaters and until now I have respected both - even when Weir has been over the top and failed to live up to his potential. Both delivered wonderful routines in the recent Olympic Games and - as one who spent years around ice rinks and competitive skating with one of my daughters - Weir got screwed by the judges. My respect and admiration has been given to both Weir and Lysacek - that is until now. Now, it seems that Lysacek is having a tempestuous love affair with himself and is acting down right catty and nasty. Much like a peevish queen even. Yes, Weir is flamboyant and always himself whereas Lysacek seems obsessed with not only winning, but also being what others want him to be. Recently, Lysacek made down right horrible remarks disparaging Weir and stating that Weir was not good enough for "Stars on Ice" even though that show includes far lesser skaters than Weir. Out Sports has this to say in part about Lysacek bitter queen remarks and action:

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Evan Lysacek has sharpened his claws on Johnny Weir in a new interview over at MetroMix.com. . . . He’s either blind or a bigger bitch than any of us knew. Weir was third at the U.S. Nationals and sixth at the Olympics this year (and consensus is that he was one of the top four skaters at the Olympics). He’s won U.S. Nationals three times and finished second once. He’s also won a bronze at Worlds. He’s easily as decorated as Evan’s tour-mate Michael Weiss, the difference being that Weiss is married to a woman. And Weir is more accomplished than Jeremy Abbott by a mile, the difference being that Abbott doesn’t walk around in his underwear on national TV.
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No Evan, Johnny wasn’t whining. He was reacting to perceived homophobia. But I guess you wouldn’t know anything about that, since you’re straight as an arrow.
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At least Evan left this little gem for us in the interview… Last question: Are you seeing anyone? I’m single. The reason, well…(laughs)…I’m limited to who I can see. I’m dating in L.A., but I just haven’t found the right girl. Oh, Evan. You silly boy.

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Weir, never one to be caught at a loss for words, had some barbs to throw back at Lysacek. Here's some highlights via The Advocate:
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Johnny Weir appeared on The Wendy Williams Show Wednesday and responded to Evan Lysacek’s claims that Stars on Ice didn’t invite Weir to participate in the tour because he’s not good enough.
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“Even if they asked me today, I wouldn’t do it,” Weir said. And Evan… he’s a slore.” The word, a combination of “slut” and “whore,” made Williams laugh, and the talk-show host followed it up by thanking Weir for making this year’s figure skating competition “interesting and fabulous.”
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Lysacek may have the Olympic Gold, but I suspect that it's Johnny Weir who has the gold medal in life of embracing who is his and not hiding in some self-imposed closet like Lysacek may be doing.

Johnny Weir Speaks at California Gay Rights Fundraiser

Despite what his detractors may say, I love Johnny Weir - both for his figure skating talent and for his courage in being himself and telling critics to be damned. At a Equality California fundraiser, Weir came about as close to coming out as one can without making an outright declaration. Kudos to Johnny and his in your face refusal to somehow be ashamed of who he is. He's what I wish I had been able to be at a similar age except for the fact that I would not have had my children. The Advocate has more on Weir's appearance and his summation of what gays give to the world:

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Figure skating star Johnny Weir lent his celebrity to an Equality California event on Sunday in Los Angeles. At the fund-raiser, Weir thanked his family for their support and then spoke frankly about inequality:
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"Something from the Olympics that I learned is the world is a very, very ugly place. And this community, us, our people, are the people who make it fucking gorgeous. No matter how much people push down on us ... no matter how much they hate people that are different, not only the gay community, but also African-American people, Jewish people ... there's so many things that people focus on and so much what a person is and not who a person is ... If I wanted to get married tomorrow to a woman or to a man, what have you, whatever makes me happy, I'm going to try to do it and I want the freedom to do it. Everyone should have the freedom for that."
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Johnny, I hope you keep up the great work!

Stars on Ice Blacklisting Johnny Weir

As readers of this blog have likely figured out by now, I am a fan of competitive figure skating - having had a daughter in the sport I understand its rigors and demands - as well as an advocate of people being themselves and not playing a role that they deem expected of them. I did that for over three decades and the results were a disaster. Sadly, Stars on Ice has determined through God knows what process that Johnny Weir is not sufficiently "Family friendly" to be included in the Stars on Ice troupe. Never mind that Johnny is a 3-time US National Champion, a World Bronze Medalist, a 2-time Grand Prix Final Bronze Medalist, and a 2-time Olympian. The bigoted sponsors - Smucker's and IMG Entertainment (who I am now effectively boycotting) apparently view Johnny as wee bit too gay, Even though they have no proof as to his actual sexual orientation.
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To counter this bigotry that is depriving Johnny of his much deserved professional career, Glesen has started a petition to the anti-gay sponsors of Stars on Ice demanding that Johnny be included among the skaters on the tour. To sign the petition, please click here. PLEASE sign the petition and send a clear message that anti-gay bigotry carries a cost. I am personally so over this gutless anti-gay bigotry that I am going to go through our refrigerators and throw out ALL products by these bigoted sponsors. And henceforth, I will not buy ANY of their products. I hope that others will join me in the effort.

JohnnyWeir Resonds to Homophobes

While he is definitely quirky and not afraid to cause controversy and gossip, Johnny Weir has some good advice for all of us in the LGBT community as he responds to bigots who have made homophobic remarks about his Olympic performances. It boils down to having the courage to be yourself and ignore the slings and arrows that may be thrown at you. To be gay in this country - at least in backwards areas like Virginia and other "fly over country" - you need to develop an attitude of "if you don't like me, that's your loss - I don't give a damn." Obviously, achieving that point takes time and isn't without some hurts, but to live out and proud, that is the mindset one must achieve. Here are some of Johnny's comments via Towleroad:
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Said Weir: "I'm not somebody to cry over something or to be weak about something. I felt very defiant when I saw these comments. It wasn't these two men criticizing my skating, it was them criticizing me as a person, and that was something that really, frankly, pissed me off...I hope more kids can grow up the same way I did and more kids can feel the freedom that I feel to be themselves and to express themselves and that's the most important thing."
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The skater added: "I'm always thought of the sparkly flamboyant character that wore a crown of roses...nobody knows me. I think masculinity is what you believe it to be. To me, masculinity is all my perception. I think masculinity and femininity is something that's very old fashioned. There's a whole new generation of people that aren't defined by their sex or their race or who they like to sleep with. I think as a person you know what your values are and what you believe in and I that''s the most important thing."
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You've got it right Johnny - your critics are clueless and their homophobia speaks more about them than you.

Winter Olympics Start in 8 Days

Growing up through high school in the snow country of central New York State I had plenty of exposure to winter sports. Perhaps as a result, I have always enjoyed the Winter Olympics far more than the summer games. And this year, having been to both Vancouver and Whistler, Canada, the games will have even a stronger sense of connection. One of my favorite events is the ice skating. First because I skated myself before switching to snow skiing and, therefore, respect the skill, talent and artistry required to be a top skater. Second, having had a daughter who was a competitive skater some years back (see the photo below of my daughter), I have a true sense of the sacrifice and cost involved in reaching the upper levels of amateur figure skating (competitions sound exciting, but in reality involve a lot of waiting around and killing time). Representing the USA in the men's competition will be Jeremy Abbott (who took first place at the U.S. Nationals and is pictured above right), Evan Lysacek and the ever flamboyant Johnny Weir (pictured above left)

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One of the most amazing things I was fortunate enough witness during my daughter's competitive years was the Russian Ice Dancing gold medalists who used the University of Delaware ice facility as a training base. They were nothing short of amazing and watching on television fails to allow one to realize the speed with which they skate. Anyone who thinks make figure skaters are not top athletes doesn't know the true rigors of the sport - even if skaters like Johnny Weir like to push the envelop. Here are highlights about Weir's latest run in with animal rights supporters:

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This was only a matter of time. Johnny Weir has been forced to switch from real to fake fur. Weir wore a costume for his free program at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships two weeks ago that included a small amount of -- gasp! -- white fox fur on his left shoulder. Not surprisingly, he received enough protests and hate mail from animal rights advocates that he has decided to replace the fox with faux fur.
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The death toll in Haiti is more than 150,000. Soldiers are dying in Afghanistan and Iraq. One in 10 Americans are unemployed and homeless shelters are swelling. But hey, Johnny Weir wore a piece of fur on his costume! We can't have that!
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"I would like to announce that due to pressures and threats from a certain animal rights group, I will be changing the genuine fox fur on my free program costume that I will use in the 2010 Winter Olympic Games in Vancouver, B.C., to white faux fur," Weir said in a statement first posted on icenetwork.com. "I made this decision after several threats were sent to me about disrupting my performance in the Olympic Games and my costume designer, Stephanie Handler, was repeatedly sent messages of hate and disgust.
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Here's the above referenced photo of my daughter a number of years back (she's still beautiful).

Figure Skating Rivalry

As regular readers know, I enjoy figure skating – the roommates and I switched channels from watching the Super Bowl to the men’s European figure skating championships. The skaters were so HOT!! I have spent many an hour at ice rinks when my oldest daughter skated competitively at venues ranging from the University of Delaware figure skating complex to an invitational event in the tiny town of Spruce Pine, North Carolina (where we went to one of the mineral/mine outlet tourist stops and my former wife found a 1.2 carat emerald in some mine tailings – now referred to as the “Spruce Pine Emerald” and set in a ring for my daughter). Thus, I found this New York Times article on the competition between Johnny Weir and the much butcher Evan Lysacek. Having seen first hand how subjective and down right bitchy the United States Figure Skating Association (“USFSA”) judges can be, often who is the better skater matters less than who is the “favorite” and who conforms to the judges’ whims. Such being the case, it’s amazing that Weir and Lysacek tied for the U.S. Title with 244.77 points apiece, before the title went to Lysacek on a tie breaker. Personally, I will be rooting for Johnny. Here are some story highlights:

Evan Lysacek and Johnny Weir share nothing — except their status as the top two figure skaters in the United States. The closest they ever hope to be is on a medal podium. Lysacek, who fashions himself a hard-core athlete, has won the last two United States national titles. Weir, an athlete into hard-core fashion, won the previous three. Lysacek favors skating’s jumps and stunts and can do without all the pomp, while Weir is one of the most hypnotically graceful male skaters.

Lysacek and Weir were set to face off again this weekend at the annual world championships in Goteborg, Sweden, but Lysacek had to withdraw after injuring his arm in a fall last week. They remain on a collision course for the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver — accompanied by growing gaggles of fans who believe that loving one means hating the other, giving figure skating a rivalry of uncommon passion and depth.

In the normally placid enclave of figure skating, supporting either Evan Lysacek the Athlete or Johnny Weir the Artist has become a virtual referendum on matters from skating style and personal style to sexuality itself.

Weir’s outfits often sparkle like disco balls; in his short program he pretends to be a seagull. His total package has not only led to assumptions that he is gay — something not as taboo in figure skating as in other sports — but a controversy over his not being the right type of gay. During a figure skating broadcast last year, the announcer Mark Lund, who is openly gay, said, “I don’t think he’s representative of the community I want to be a part of,” and, “I don’t need to see a prima ballerina on the ice,” before praising Lysacek’s masculinity.

Weir, 23, declined to end the speculation in an interview at the facility where he trains in Wayne, N.J. As far as he is concerned, masculinity sometimes arrives in fur. “There are some things I keep sacred,” Weir said. “My middle name. Who I sleep with. And what kind of hand moisturizer I use.”

Getting more serious, Weir continued: “If I was out to please 10-year-old girls and their 45-year-old mothers in Boise, Idaho, I could play the game and be nice and make my voice deeper. But I don’t see the point. I’m not alive for 10-year-old girls and their 45-year-old mothers in Boise, Idaho — or Colorado Springs, Colo.” Weir was referring to the United States Figure Skating Association, which is based in Colorado Springs. He has claimed the federation has promoted Lysacek over him as a subtle form of punishment for his behavior.