More Saturday Male Beauty

Hampton Roads Pride 2007

This is Pride weekend and , while not much of a deal compared to the huge events found elsewhere, the fact that there is even an event at all makes a statement. HRBOR will have a booth at the event tomorrow and yours truly will be working the HRBOR booth a good portion of the day. I am sure that the event may be infiltrated by some fundies who want to "pray us straight" as happened on the comedy cruise last night, but fortunately without any disturbance. In some ways it is ironic that the event is in Chesapeake (which is immediately to the south of Norfolk) since it is probably the least progressive socially of the five cities in Southside Hampton Roads.

While some recent articles and columns had discussed whether there continues to be a need for Pride events in cities like New York and so forth, in this somewhat of a backwater area, I believe that it is necessary. If only to show that there are plenty of LGBT citizens in the area. This year Old Dominion University has cosponsored an LGBT film festival so that the Pride related activities cover more venues. Combined with HRBOR, Pride's goal is to demonstrate that we exist and that we are here to stay - much I am sure to the horror of one of our neighbor, Pat Robertson.

Saturday Male Beauty

Gay Gov.: Wife's Demands Excessive

Jim McGreevey had better hope that he does not get a gay-hating judge. Otherwise his ex-wife may get the whole store whether or not he can afford it. Here is a part of 365gay.com's coverage (http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/09/091507mcg.htm):

(Trenton, New Jersey) James McGreevey says that he cannot afford the perks he and his estranged wife enjoyed while he was governor, and that she is not entitled to continue to live the lifestyle of a first lady at his expense. McGreevey, who disclosed he was gay while in office, filed court papers Friday responding to Dina Matos McGreevey's demand this week for a bigger monthly support check - $4,000 a month, nearly four times what she now receives. In her filing in Union County Superior Court, Matos McGreevey says she is entitled to live a lifestyle closer to that of first lady than she is now able to afford. (story)

McGreevey does not deny living in a nice house but says he does not own it and stays there with his partner, Australian money manager Mark O'Donnell. In his filing, the former governor says he and Dina mostly lived in apartments while they were married. Even while in the governor's mansion, they used only a small area as their private quarters, he says. "The title does not obligate the first lady to be chauffeured or have bodyguards or any of the security attendant to the title," says McGreevey, noting that his wife chose to receive those perks, paid for by taxpayers.

Final Friday Male Beauty

Condi's "Closest Female Friend"

Michelangelo Signorile has an interesting post on his blog (http://signorile2003.blogspot.com/2007/09/condis-best-friends-yesterday-on-show-i.html) about Condi Rice and her friendships that include gays and co-ownership of property with a woman. This news might well drive the fundies crazy (always a worthwhile endeavor in my view):

Yesterday on the show I had an interesting conversation with Washington Post diplomatic correspondent Glenn Kessler, whose new book is The Confidante: Condoleezza Rice and the Creation of the Bush Legacy.There have long been questions about Rice's sexual orientation and her personal life in general. As Kessler notes, "She has built a wall of privacy around her that is never breached." But Kessler had access to Rice's closest friends and to Rice herself, and he reveals some eyebrow-raising information that hasn't been out there before.

Rice's "closest male friend" is openly gay, a man by the name of Coit D. Blacker, a Stanford professor (Rice served as the provost as Stanford in the late 1990s for six years) and a Democrat who served in the Clinton administration. Blacker, whose partner is also mentioned, advised Al Gore's campaign in 2000, while his close friend Rice served as a chief confidante for a president who has tried to make gays into second class citizens in the U.S. Constitution.

But wait, it gets better. Rice's "closest female friend" is a woman named Randy Bean (pictured here), who is unmarried and whose sexual orientation is not stated. She is described as a "liberal progressive;" she's a documentary filmmaker who works at Standford University and once worked for Bill Moyers. She and Rice and Blacker (again, who has a partner) are discussed as a "second family," a term Bean uses, also saying that, "on friends, [Rice] goes narrow and deep."

According to newly revealed information in the book (which Kessler found through real estate records), the two women, Rice and Bean (yes, hilarious), own a home together and have a line of credit together.

Even if Rice is heterosexual, however, it is fascinating and mind-boggling that this woman whose best male friend is an openly gay liberal and whose best female "friend" is a "liberal progressive," would work for a president who has opposed every gay rights initiative and tried to enshrine religious hatred in the Constitution.

I can only wonder if this information will give Daddy Dobson, Tony Perkins and Rev. Wildmon the vapors.

More Friday Male Beauty

Psychoanalyzing the Closet

Andrew Sullivan (http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2007/09/another-shrink-.html) has some interesting takes on closet cases like Larry Craig:

The shadow, which is in conflict with the acknowledged values, cannot be accepted as a negative part of one's own psyche and is therefore projected -- that is, it is transferred to the outside world and experienced as an outside object. It is combated, punished, and exterminated as 'the alien out there' instead of being dealt with as one's own inner problem," - Erich Neumann, Depth Psychology and a New Ethic. Freud's take:

Reaction formation, according to Freud, occurs when an action or feeling that results in unconscious anxiety produces the opposite reaction in consciousness. A man who is afraid he is weak spends hours at the gym and wears nothing but tank tops when he goes out. A person who is aroused by porn joins a community effort to block the opening of an adult video store. A man who is terrified by the prospect of being gay consistently votes in an anti-gay pattern. In reaction formation, the declaration of the public persona is excessive, and the person is obsessed with making sure the public view is known to everyone. "Of course I am not gay! I have never been gay! I am innocent!" Freud would argue that Larry Craig actually believes this.

During my closet years, I did not engage in this type of conduct - I guess because in my heart I DID know what my true attractions were. I merely tried to suppress them and pretend and consciously convince myself that they did not exist.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, apprehension, fear, or worry.

It was another day of waking before dawn and tossing and turning fitfully. I do not deal well with uncertainty hanging over me. I suppose I am one who likes to feel in control, even if it is perhaps an illusion. I had weaned myself from sleeping pills for several months, but if this continues I guess I will need to visit my doctor for a new prescription.

I continue to appreciate the messages and support that have come in a steady stream from readers. It does make it all so much better in the moments I start to slip toward depression. My days are busy, so it is easier to forget, but come the wee hours of the night and morning, my mind simply seems to shift into overtime in worry and analysis. True, it does not make things any better, but it is hard to block out the thoughts.

Today I will have a number of client meetings and then later a"dress rehearsal" for the estate planning seminar in the morning sponsored by HRBOR and the Sheraton Waterside. Fortunately, I will be double teaming with HRBOR's president who is with Merrill Lynch. Nonetheless, I will be happy when noon rolls around tomorrow.

Friday Male Beauty

New Jersey Divorce Wars

I can identify with Former Governor Jim McGreevey (who I find to be a bit of a creep) (http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/09/091307mcg.htm):

(Trenton, New Jersey) The estranged wife of the nation's first openly gay governor wants a judge to increase her monthly support nearly fourfold to $4,000 so she can live a lifestyle closer to that of New Jersey's first lady.

Dina Matos McGreevey said she and the couple's 5-year-old daughter live in a modest 3-bedroom house while her husband, Jim McGreevey, and his male partner live in a lavish 17-room mansion with gardens, according to court papers. "In total, I need $11,162 per month to meet my expenses," she told the judge. "This lifestyle by no means approximates the lifestyle which plaintiff enjoys, much less the lifestyle we enjoyed while plaintiff was governor."

Final Thursday Male Beauty

Central Kings students wear pink to send bullies a message

This is a nice story (http://www.thechronicleherald.ca/Front/858884.html) from Nova Scotia that proves that sometimes the younger generation has the courage to do the right thing. I am very impressed with the two seniors who orchestrated the defiance of the bullies. Some times relatively small actions speak volumes:

CAMBRIDGE — Two students at Central Kings Rural High School fought back against bullying recently, unleashing a sea of pink after a new student was harassed and threatened when he showed up wearing a pink shirt. The Grade 9 student arrived for the first day of school last Wednesday and was set upon by a group of six to 10 older students who mocked him, called him a homosexual for wearing pink and threatened to beat him up.

The next day, Grade 12 students David Shepherd and Travis Price decided something had to be done about bullying. "It’s my last year. I’ve stood around too long and I wanted to do something," said David. They used the Internet to encourage people to wear pink and bought 75 pink tank tops for male students to wear. They handed out the shirts in the lobby before class last Friday — even the bullied student had one.

"I made sure there was a shirt for him," David said. They also brought a pink basketball to school as well as pink material for headbands and arm bands. David and Travis figure about half the school’s 830 students wore pink. The two friends said they didn’t take the action looking for publicity, but rather to show leadership in combating what they say is frequent bullying in schools.

More Thursday Male Beauty

Mark Warner running for John Warner's Senate seat

Mark Warner should be pretty hard for the GOP to beat. He left office as one of Virginia's most popular governors. If former Governor Jim Gilmore if silly enough to run against Mark Warner, I suspect it will be a massacre. Gilmore left office rather unpopular and his would be GOP successor, Mark Earley (a former law partner of mine) went down to defeat, in my view largely because he failed to disavow some of Gilmore's unpopular policies. Here is some of the Virginian Pilot coverage (http://content.hamptonroads.com/story.cfm?story=132386&ran=4033):

Former Gov. Mark R. Warner declared his candidacy for the U.S. Senate this morning, giving Democrats a solid chance next year to regain a seat long held by Republicans. In an e-mail to supporters and video on his campaign's new website, Warner said he will run in the 2008 election for the seat Republican Sen. John W. Warner will vacate next year after five terms. The two Warners are not related. No other Democrats have formally announced they would compete with him for the party's nomination.

The announcement starts what could be a high-profile race in Virginia. Two prominent Republicans are considering bids for the Senate next year: former Gov. Jim Gilmore, who preceded Warner in office; and U.S. Rep. Tom Davis of Fairfax County. Warner left the governorship with positive job performance ratings from 75 percent of Virginia voters, according to public opinion polls.

"What I hear over and over again is that people want elected officials to spend more time getting our coutnry fixed and less time on partisan bickering. Actually they're sick to death of the bickering. because our country is at a crossroads," Warner said in the video. "We're dealing with a mismanaged war. Our stature in the world is declining. We have no national competitiveness plan and no thoughtful approach on energy policy that would actually create jobs, make us more secure in the world and that deals with the threat of climate change." "I've decided the way I can contribute most to getting our country back on the right track is to serve in the United States Senate," he said.

A Sleepless Night

Last night was a fitful and largely sleepless night for me. At 4:30 AM I nearly got up and came into the office. Ultimately, I held off for a couple hours. I guess I simply had too many thoughts zooming around in my head: office matters, up coming business marketing and network events, and , of course, the still not final divorce.

I like being busy at the office for several reasons: the day goes more quickly, the firm revenue stream is enhanced, and at times I get a feeling of accomplishment when I have helped someone achieve a goal or meet a need. The draw back is that every client - rightfully from their perspective - views their matter as the most important. Thus, I become the juggler, striving to keep everyone happy all of the time. Needless to say, stress builds up.

On the marketing front, I am a bit in overload mode: a commercial real estate event this afternoon, speaking at a estate planning seminar Saturday morning, a church networking event Saturday evening, working the HRBOR booth on Sunday at Pride (and giving out my business cards too, of course). Then next Tuesday, I have the annual meeting of a commercial real estate networking organization at noon, and a real estate investor group meeting in the evening. Then on Thursday, there is the next HRBOR third Thursday event. How some allege I do not spend enough time marketing the firm is a bit baffling.

Then of course, I have the still open divorce case.

BTW, here is a website statement on sleeplessness: Sleeplessness is usually associated with emotional or mental tension, anxiety, depression, work problems, financial stress or unsatisfactory sex life. While insomnia is not usually related to any physical illness there are exceptions.

Thursday Male Beauty

Therapy

In light of what's going on in my divorce and other matters, I had a session with my therapist today. He is always a good source for an objective perspective, particularly since he himself divorced in mid-life after more than two decades of marriage. While he is straight, he has been down a somewhat similar path, particularly dealing with children who were set against him by a bitter estranged wife. The best advice he gives me is to not be controlled by my conditioning patterns and, while a response is needed to certain circumstances, it should not merely be a reaction based on past conditioning.

He is also a good one to remind me that while I may not like what is occurring at a particular time, feeling sorry for myself or fretting that what is happening is not fair does not face the issue and work toward a constructive and positive plan of action. He has seen me through some very dark times and severely chastised me for self pity, wanting to give up at times, and/or my past overdose episode. All in all, he helps me to endeavor to live in the present and not overly obsess about the future, not that he encourages me to ignore issues that need decisive action.

His analysis and the support of a few true friends and some of you readers has made me feel much more able to face things and not feel beaten down. I thank him, my friends, and those of you who have sent me messages of support and encouragement. Among my readers, I particularly want to thank Shawn for the e-mail he sent, both supporting me in my current travails and encouraging me to keep on blogging.

Two of the seven soldiers who wrote the New York Times op-ed piece criticizing U.S. counterinsurgency strategy 3 ½ weeks ago have been killed in Iraq.

Two of the seven soldiers who wrote the New York Times op-ed piece criticizing U.S. counterinsurgency strategy 3 ½ weeks ago have been killed in Iraq. Yance T. Gray and Omar Mora died Monday in a vehicle accident in Baghdad. The AP has reported on Yance Gray here, and KHOU, a Houston-area TV station has reported on Omar Mora [pictured at left] here. Their families have been notified.

The words of Gray and Mora, published just last month, speak for themselves:

To believe that Americans, with an occupying force that long ago outlived its reluctant welcome, can win over a recalcitrant local population and win this counterinsurgency is far-fetched. As responsible infantrymen and noncommissioned officers with the 82nd Airborne Division soon heading back home, we are skeptical of recent press coverage portraying the conflict as increasingly manageable and feel it has neglected the mounting civil, political and social unrest we see every day ...

The claim that we are increasingly in control of the battlefields in Iraq is an assessment arrived at through a flawed, American-centered framework. Yes, we are militarily superior, but our successes are offset by failures elsewhere ... In a lawless environment where men with guns rule the streets, engaging in the banalities of life has become a death-defying act ...As committed soldiers, we will see this mission through.

My thoughts and prayers are with their families. Meanwhile, Chimperator Bush remains lost in his delusions and denial of reality.

More Wednesday Male Beauty

Why Political Outing is Here to Stay

Blogernista has an interesting and, in my view, on point analysis as to why the political closet is dying and rightfully so: (http://bloggernista.com/2007/09/12/the-political-closet-is-dead/). He also has an anlysis as to why I believe outing closeted anti-gay politicians is proper (the emphasis is mine):

The bigger issue is the pervasive level of homophobia that infects American society and that is actively promoted by the Republican Party and its base of religious extremists. They have helped to build a culture that devalues the lives of LGBT people, considers us diseased and in need of medical treatment through conversion therapy and where its believed that our rights as Americans can/should be put up to a popular vote. And elected officials and political operatives who build their political careers employing anti-gay tactics while engaging in relationships with members of the same-sex are making the lives of those of us who live openly and honestly more difficult.

[T]he politicians abetted by the traditional media whine about the “invasion” of their private lives. Whatever. They had no qualms about invading the private lives of LGBT Americans with things like the Federal Marriage Amendment, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, the Defense of Marriage Act and the dozens of state level anti-gay bills and constitutional amendments thrown at us.

[D]o not expect us to sit on the sidelines while you use your political influence to deny us full and equal civil rights. We will not compromise our lives to make you more comfortable in your closets. We will not be silent while you rail against non-discrimination and hate crimes legislation as LGBT people are fired from their jobs, beaten in the streets and discriminated against in countless ways.

Housing to Push Economy to Edge of Recession - Time to Flex LGBT Economic Muscle

As I have remarked a number of times now, that the economic horizon is not looking good for the next year to year and a half - if not more. Now might me a good time with a weak economy to start using more of their economic clout - automakers, retailers and others will be looking for viable consumer groups, and gays with on average better education and more disposable income should become an even more important market segment. Here are portions of an MSNBC story (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20730894/) on the economy:

LOS ANGELES - Ongoing weakness in the housing market will push the national economy to the brink of recession, but growth in other areas should put the country back on a slow road to recovery by 2009, according to an economic forecast released Wednesday.

The quarterly Anderson Forecast by the University of California at Los Angeles predicts growth in the gross domestic product of just over 1 percent for the fourth quarter of 2007 and first quarter of 2008. Economic growth will remain “tepid” for the remainder of 2008 and return to 3 percent in 2009, said David Shulman, senior economist for the forecast.

That growth is just above the traditional definition of a recession — two consecutive quarters of decline in gross domestic product. “Of course, when the economy slows to a 1 percent pace, it runs the risk of falling into an actual recession, just as when an airplane’s velocity dips down to its ’stall speed’ and falls out of the sky,” Shulman wrote. The declining housing market could remain at the heart of the nation’s economic woes for some time.

Shulman also expects housing prices to plunge 10 percent to 15 percent before they start to recover, sometime in 2009. “The small recent minimal declines represent not the end, but rather the beginning of what will be a very painful decline,” he wrote. Housing woes have already started to affect consumer spending and are expected to keep doing so through 2008, the forecast said. Auto sales will reach only 15.7 million units in 2008 — the lowest rate since 1998, Shulman predicted. Housing-related purchases, such as furniture and appliances, were also expected to decline.

Note: A 10-15% drop in home prices will leave a number of homeowners owing more than they can sell there homes for if faced with a job loss or medical cost crisis.

Wednesday Male Beauty

'I don't know' if strategy is keeping US safe, Petraeus admits

With all the hype that the Chimperator has put on General Patraeus' rport, the following exchange between Paatraeus and Virginia's John Warner is enlightening (and frightening):

Testifying later in the day before the Senate Armed Services Committee, Sen. John Warner, a Republican whose recently emerged with criticism of President Bush's war policies, asked Petraeus if a continuation of the surge until Summer "is making America safer."

"Sir, I don't know, actually," Petraeus admitted. "What I have focused on and been riveted on is how to accomplish the mission of the multinational force Iraq. ... I have tried to focus on what i think a commander is supposed to do, which is to determine the best recommendations to achieve the objectives of the policy from which his mission is derived."

More on this story and Patraeus' questioning before Congress can be found here: http://rawstory.com//news/2007/In_planning_Iraqs_future_US_cant_0911.html

GOP's Other Family Values Scandal Widens

I think it is about time the GOP gets more pressure to deal with Senator Vitter's hypocrisy. If Larry Craig was pushed to resign, then Vitter should have the same standard applied to him. He has admitted to what are crimes in both D.C. and Louisiana. Here's 365gay.com's latest on Vitter:

(Beverley Hills, California) A former New Orleans prostitute who will be featured in Larry Flynt's Hustler magazine appeared at his office Tuesday to accuse Sen. David Vitter of having a sexual relationship with her in 1999. Wendy Ellis told reporters that Vitter visited her two to three times a week for sexual relations between July and November 1999.

Flynt produced parts of an Aug. 22 polygraph test that he said confirmed her account, but Ellis could provide no financial records, photographs or other evidence to support her assertion that the Louisiana Republican was a client during that time. Vitter, an advocate of "family values" who voted for a constitutional amendment to ban same-sex marriage, has denied those claims.

I want the truth to be known," Ellis said. "It was a pure sexual relationship. He would come in and do his business."

Another report detailing how Vitter reportedly used a prostitute two or three times a week can be found here: (http://www.americablog.com/2007/09/vitter-was-meeting-one-prostitute-two.html). Wow, what family values!!!

Final Tuesday Male Beauty

A Global Look at Gay Rights

As Towleroad reports, Newsweek's international editions (Europe, Asia, and Latin America) this week look at gay rights struggles around the world accompanied by an an online gallery (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20642225/displaymode/1107/s/2/) featuring some of the defining images of the last year, including this shot of British gay rights activist Peter Tatchell being harassed by a woman on the street in Moscow, moments before he and others were more brutally assaulted by nationalists and skinheads. Also included are a couple articles about Jamaica as well as a Q&A with Sir Ian McKellen.

The clear message to those of us in the USA is that this country is increasingly lagging behind the modern world in its treatment of LGBT citizens. Despite what many continue to claim, in my view, the USA is no longer the leading beacon of freedom in the world. That claim has been destroyed by Chimperator Bush, the current GOP and their Christianist allies.

More Tuesday Male Beauty

Tuesday Male Beauty

A "Thank You" and Reflections

I want to thank those readers who have sent me e-mail messages of support and friendship since my postings yesterday. It is truly nice to know that I have friends and supporters virtually around the globe. It definitely shows how the Internet has made the world so much smaller in some ways. To have friends even on the other side of the world is comforting.

One of the costs of coming out of the closet for me has been that the vast majority of my "friends" from the straight phase of my life have written me off. I definitely learned who my real friends are. Years of working on political and civic matters and championing quality public education in Virginia Beach that benefited these people's children suddenly meant little or nothing. It has truly been a harsh education in the hypocrisy of upscale suburban America (at least in Virginia Beach). If you are not white and straight, you are largely not welcome. I guess I should have been forewarned: many of these same folks tried to social climb through their children, placing them in private schools, etc. Superficiality is the best description for the area of Virginia Beach where I once lived. I do not miss it.

Of course the irony is that my "crime" is that for most of my life I tried ever so hard to do and be precisely what my church, my family, and society in general told me I should do and be. At great emotional and mental cost I might ad, not to mention irritability and self-hate from having to always "be in character." When I reached the point of simply being unable to keep it up and came out, my past good deeds and sacrifices meant nothing to so many.

Fortunately, my parents and siblings accepted me. Likewise, most of my clients did as well. It was my "friends" and my children (other than my youngest) who abandoned me. I sacrificed for all my children, but my youngest received the least in terms of material things, yet she is the one who currently still communicates with me. Admittedly, there is no hand book for being a good parent. I am not saying I was the best parent I could have been, but I did try my best. I truly did given the hand fate had dealt me.

If I had it to do over again would I come out in mid-life? Yes, I would. I might do some things differently - which I will elaborate on further in the future - but I would come out. Finding peace and acceptance with who you are and your sexual orientation is worth more than nearly anything else. I hope that in time my older two children will understand why I had to do what I did. It's not that I did not or do not love them. I just could no longer live my life as an actor on a stage, always fearful of discovery.

For GOP, Gay Rights Issues Play Role That Race Once Did

There is a lot of truth in this Boston Globe column (http://www.boston.com/news/nation/washington/articles/2007/09/11/for_gop_gay_rights_issues_play_role_that_race_once_did/). Gays are the new Blacks for the GOP tactics of using a bogey man to drive out the far right vote. Instead of black rapist Willie Horton and "welfare queens," the GOP likes to use gays and transgendered as the threat to conservative Potestant whites. To me the demonization of any group of law abiding, tax paying citizens is rerehensible, which is why I am no longer a member of the GOP. Here are some portions of the column:

WASHINGTON - Republican leaders' swift condemnation of Idaho Senator Larry Craig, leading to his decision to resign after having been caught in a men's room sex sting, demonstrated more than the party's concern about scandals. It also revealed the delicate balance the GOP strikes in dealing with homosexuality and how closely it parallels past GOP positions on race.

Opposition to gay marriage, along with other forms of gay rights that emphasize the equality of gay and straight relationships, is a key point of connection between Republicans and voters who might otherwise oppose the GOP agenda. In recent years, gay issues have functioned to help build a Republican coalition in a way similar to the role once played by race issues. In the '70s, '80s, and '90s, the national GOP came out strongly against programs to create special opportunities for racial minorities, thereby gaining substantial support among white social conservatives.

Democrats often charged that the Republicans' opposition to busing for school desegregation and affirmative action hiring plans was a code for much deeper resistance to minority advancement. Democrats saw it as a way for Republicans to signal to voters who opposed voting rights and desegregation that Republicans wouldn't pursue those goals very aggressively.

There have been no shows of support for gays as the party now uses its opposition to some forms of gay rights as a key bridge to social conservatives. And, in much the same way as they did in past decades on racial issues, many Republican leaders are trying to separate their opposition to programs that promote gay equality from discrimination against homosexuals.

I continue to find it strange that blacks who get co-opted by the GOP and white conservatives are getting in bed with the same people who worked to deny equal rights to blacks.

Another GOP Sex Scandal

This story involves a GOP councilman from St. Petersburg, Florida. Yet another example of the true "family values" of the GOP. Funny how these types of stories do not seem to be showing up everywhere about Democrats. (See: http://blogs.tampabay.com/breakingnews/2007/09/st-petersburg-1.html):

John Bryan, 56, a St. Petersburg City Council member, had been accused of sexually abusing his three adopted daughters. Police were investigating, but they had not charged Bryan with a crime. On Friday, he killed himself just hours after a judge ordered him to stay away from his two youngest girls.

A staunch Republican and former finance chairman for U.S. Sen. Connie Mack, Bryan helped push Baker's agenda through the City Council.

In his public life, Bryan appeared to be the doting father. Photos of his two youngest daughters adorned his office at City Hall. He brought the girls with him to speaking engagements, bragged about them to anyone who would listen and posed for pictures with them during his campaign for re-election in 2005. He was known throughout central Florida as an advocate for foster children.

If the sexual abuse allegations were true, the girls might have an easier time moving on now that their dad is gone, Galatzer-Levy said. But not being able to confront him, or have closure through an investigation or trial, also could make things harder. "It would be hard to deal with, if the price of relief is that your father's dead," he said.

More Monday Male Beauty

Satiated By Craig Scandal, Gay Outer Backs Off Staffers

The Washington Post reports that my friend Mike Rogers is going to cut closeted professional staffers some slack. Personally, I continue to think any closeted gay working for a agressive anti-gay elected official or political candidate should be open game. Based on my experiences in politics, they are generally in such jobs for their own personal advancement and the fact that they will assist in harming other gays to serve their own purposes shows their hypocrisy. Here's portions of the WaPo story (http://blog.washingtonpost.com/sleuth/2007/09/post_3.html):

Closeted gay congressional staffers can rest easier. Their worst living nightmare, vigilante gay outer and activist blogger Michael Rogers, has called a truce of sorts: he says he'll stop targeting Capitol Hill aides and will instead limit his campaign solely to publicly elected officials and candidates. "Enough readers expressed concerns that I have decided to now focus on elected officials, those running for office and to high level political appointees in the administration," Rogers tells the Sleuth.

Until today, in addition to targeting politicians, Rogers had been aggressively either naming or threatening to out scores of gay staffers who he deemed to be hypocritical because they either pushed anti-gay rights agendas or worked for members of Congress with anti-gay rights voting records. His first threat was sent in the form of a mass email to congressional aides in 2004 warning them: if you are gay, secretly or openly, and you or your boss are pushing legislative agendas seen as unfair to gays and lesbians, then watch out. (It was that year that Rogers caught his first big fish: former conservative Rep. Ed Schrock (R-Va.), who was forced to abandon his re-election bid during the 2004 GOP party convention after Rogers unearthed audiotapes of Schrock, a married man, soliciting men for sex on telephone sex lines.)

P.S. Since I knew Ed Schrock fairly well personally in my past GOP phase, and when Mike Rogers played the tapes for me, they definitely sounded like Schrock.

Monday Male Beauty

Homo politicus: brain function of liberals, conservatives differs

This is an interesting story on an interesting study (http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070909/hl_afp/scienceneuroscience_070909173324) which shows significant differences in brain function and reactions. It tends to re-enforce my view that conservatives in general (and religious conservatives in particular) seek to avoid having to have meaningful innovative thought and analysis. I guess it goes a long way in explaining Chimperator Bush's behavior. Here are a few highlights:

PARIS (AFP) - The brain neurons of liberals and conservatives fire differently when confronted with tough choices, suggesting that some political divides may be hard-wired, according a study released Sunday.

Conservatives tend to crave order and structure in their lives, and are more consistent in the way they make decisions. Liberals, by contrast, show a higher tolerance for ambiguity and complexity, and adapt more easily to unexpected circumstances.

Using electroencephalographs, which measure neuronal impulses, the researchers examined activity in a part of the brain -- the anterior cingulate cortex -- that is strongly linked with the self-regulatory process of conflict monitoring. The match-up was unmistakable: respondents who had described themselves as liberals showed "significantly greater conflict-related neural activity" when the hypothetical situation called for an unscheduled break in routine. Conservatives, however, were less flexible, refusing to deviate from old habits "despite signals that this ... should be changed."

Very Depressed and Apprehensive

I cannot comment on the Court's letter ruling yet since the matter is still not finalized. Suffice it to say that I am sick over the contents for reasons I will dicuss at some future date. For now, all I can do is strenuously stress to those readers in any way contemplating following my misguided course that they must NOT make the same mistake that I did, either voluntarily or under trickery and gile of another. It will literally destroy your future.

On a related note, I would encourage all readers living in Virginia to seriously consider leaving the state, if possible, in favor of more gay friendly states. Again, I will explain the reasons for my statement at a future date. As during the past 100 years, Virginia will no doubt be among the last states to qualify as an enlightened jurisdiction.

Final Sunday Male Beauty

A Bishop Who is Not Afraid to Speak the Truth

Rowan Williams, the Archbishop of Canterbury, will soon be visiting the United States to meet with the leadership of the Episcopalian Church regarding the turmoil created by election of Gene Robinson as Bishop of New Hampshire. Retired Episcopal Bishop John Shelby Spong (who is very pro-gay in his writings) has written a letter taking the Archbishop to task for his lack of leadership on the issue of ordaining gay openly bishops. Like the Roman Catholic Church, I am sure the Anglican Church has MANY closeted gay bishops. The one honest one, Eugene Robinson gets treated like a pariah while the hypocrites carry on business as usual. Since I tend to be very direct and call things as I see them, I like Spong's style. Here's Spong's letter (emphasis is mine):

Dear Rowan,

I am delighted that you have agreed to meet with the House of Bishops of the American Episcopal Church in September, even if you appear to be unwilling to come alone. It has seemed strange that you, who have had so much to say about the American Church, have not been willing to do so before now. Your office is still honored by Episcopalians in this country, so our bishops will welcome you warmly and politely. We have some amazingly competent men and women in that body, many of whom have not yet met you.

There is clearly an estrangement between that body and you in your role as the Archbishop of Canterbury. I want to share with you my understanding of the sources of that estrangement. First, I believe that most of our senior bishops, including me, were elated, at your appointment by Queen Elizabeth II and Prime Minister Tony Blair. Most Americans are not aware that yours is an appointed, not an elected position. Those of us who knew you were keenly aware of your intellectual gifts, your openness on all of the great social debates of our generation and indeed of your personal warmth. We also believed that the Lambeth Conference of 1998, presided over by your predecessor, George Carey, had been a disaster that would haunt the Communion for at least a quarter of a century. An assembly of bishops hissing at and treating fellow bishops with whom they disagreed quite rudely, was anything but an example of Christian community. The unwillingness of that hostile majority to listen to the voices of invited gay Christians, their use of the Bible in debate as a weapon to justify prejudice, the almost totalitarian attempt made to manage the press and to prevent access to the wider audience and the dishonest denial of the obvious and blatant homophobia among the bishops made that Lambeth Conference the most disillusioning ecclesiastical gathering I have ever attended. The Church desperately needed new leadership and so many of us greeted your appointment with hope. Your detractors in the evangelical camp both in England and in the third world actively lobbied against your appointment. The hopes of those of us who welcomed your appointment were, however, short lived because in one decision after another you seemed incapable of functioning as the leader the Church wanted and needed.

It began at the moment of your appointment when you wrote a public letter to the other primates assuring them that you would not continue in your enlightened and open engagement with the moral issue of defining and welcoming those Christians who are gay and lesbian.

We all knew where you stood. Your ministry had not been secret. We knew you had been one of the voices that sought to temper the homophobia of your predecessor’s rhetoric. We knew of your personal friendship with gay clergy and that you had even knowingly ordained a gay man to the priesthood. You, however, seemed to leap immediately to the conclusion that unity was more important than truth. Perhaps you did not realize that your appointment as the archbishop was because you had different values from those of your predecessor and that your values were exactly what the Church wanted and needed in its new archbishop.

In that letter, in a way that was to me a breathtaking display of ineptitude and moral weakness, you effectively abdicated your leadership role. The message you communicated was that in the service of unity you would surrender to whoever had the loudest public voice.

A leader gets only one chance to make a good first impression and you totally failed that chance. Unity is surely a virtue, but it must be weighed against truth, the Church’s primary virtue.

Next came the bizarre episode of the appointment of the Rev. Dr. Jeffrey John, a known gay priest, to be the area bishop for Reading in the Diocese of Oxford. He was proposed by the Bishop of Oxford, Richard Harries. The nomination was approved by all of the necessary authorities, including you, the Prime Minister and the Queen. The fundamentalists and the evangelicals were predictably severe and anything but charitable or Christian. They and their allies in the press assassinated Jeffrey John’s character and made his life miserable. Once again you collapsed in the face of this pressure and, in a four-hour conversation, you forced your friend and mine, Jeffery John, who is not only a brilliant New Testament scholar, but also one who gave you his word that he was living a celibate life, to resign his appointment to that Episcopal office. The message went out for all to hear that if people are angry enough, the Archbishop will always back down. Your leadership, as well as our trust in your integrity, all but disappeared.

Shortly thereafter, you concurred in a “guilt” appointment by naming Jeffrey Dean of St. Alban’s Cathedral. It is a strange church and a strange hierarchy that proclaims that a gay man cannot be a bishop but can be a dean. Your credibility suffered once again.

When Gene Robinson in the United States was elected the Bishop of New Hampshire and, more particularly, when his election was confirmed by a concurrent majority of the bishops, priests and lay deputies at the General Convention (read General Synod), you appeared to panic. You called an urgent meeting of the primates of the entire Anglican Communion and allowed them to express enormous hostility. No one seemed to challenge either their use of scripture, which revealed an amazing ignorance of the last 250 years of biblical scholarship, or their understanding of homosexuality. By acting as if homosexuality is a choice made by evil people they violated everything that medical science has discovered about sexual orientation in the last century.

Just as the Church was historically wrong in its treatment of women, so now as a result of your leadership, we are espousing a position about homosexuality that is dated, uninformed, inhumane and frankly embarrassing. No learned person stands there today.

Then you appointed the group, under Robin Eames’ chairmanship, that produced the Windsor Report. That report confirmed every mistake you had already made. It asked the American Church to apologize to other parts of the Anglican Communion for its “insensitivity.” Can one apologize for trying to end prejudice and oppression? If the issue were slavery, would you ask for an apology to the slave holders? That report got the response it deserved. Our leaders were indeed sorry that others felt hurt, but they were not prepared to apologize for taking a giant step in removing one more killing prejudice from both the Church and the world. Those angry elements of the church were not satisfied by the Windsor report, inept as it was. They never will be until they have bent you and this communion into a pre-modern, hate filled, Bible quoting group of people incapable of embracing the world in which we live.

Next came threats issued by the primates of the excommunication of the American Episcopal Church from the Anglican Communion, as if they actually had that power. Ultimatums and deadlines for us to conform to their homophobia were treated by you as if that were appropriate behavior. When the American Church elected Katharine Jefferts-Schori to be its Presiding Bishop and thus the Primate of our Province, your response to that major achievement was pathetic. You did not rejoice that equality had finally been achieved in our struggle against sexism; your concern was about how much more difficult her election would make the life of the Anglican Communion. Once again, institutional peace was made primary to the rising consciousness that challenges what the Church has done to women for so long. When Katharine took her place among the other primates, she underwent with dignity, the refusal of some of those bishops to receive communion with her. Is that the mentality required to build unity?

Later you issued a statement saying that if homosexuals want to be received in the life of the Church, they will have to change their behavior. I found that statement incredible. If you mean they have to change from being homosexual then you are obviously not informed about homosexuality. It is not a choice or a sin, anymore than being left handed, or male or female, or black or even transgender is a choice or a sin. All of us simply awaken to these aspects of our identity. That truth is so elementary and so well documented that only prejudiced eyes can fail to recognize it. No one in intellectual circles today still gives that point of view credibility.

Next you declined to invite Gene Robinson to the Lambeth Conference of 2008. All of the closeted homosexual bishops are invited, the honest one is not invited. I can name the gay bishops who have, during my active career. served in both the Episcopal Church and in the Church of England? I bet you can too. Are you suggesting that dishonesty is a virtue?

You continue to act as if quoting the Bible to undergird a dying prejudice is a legitimate tactic. It is in fact the last resort that religious people always use to validate “tradition” over change. The Bible was quoted to support the Divine Right of Kings in 1215, to oppose Galileo in the 17th century, to oppose Darwin in the 19th century, to support slavery and apartheid in the 19th and 20th centuries, to keep women from being educated, voting and being ordained in the 20th and 21st century. Today it is quoted to continue the oppression and rejection of homosexual people. The Bible has lost each of those battles. It will lose the present battle and you, my friend, will end up on the wrong side of history, the wrong side of morality and the wrong side of truth. It is a genuine tragedy that you, the most intellectually-gifted Archbishop of Canterbury in almost a century, have become so miserable a failure in so short a period of time.

You were appointed to lead, Rowan, not to capitulate to the hysterical anger of those who are locked in the past. For the sake of God and this Church, the time has come for you to do so. I hope you still have that capability.

John Shelby Spong, 8th Bishop of Newark, Retired

I suspect the Archbishop did not enjoy the letter. But, sometimes the truth is not popular. I for one would rather stand alone and stand for truth than join the horde in prejudice and hate.

More Sunday Male Beauty

Florida Gay Murder Suicide Case May Have Virginia Beach Ties

This story from the North Carolina Conservative (http://www.northcarolinaconservative.com/index.php?subaction=showfull&id=1188428152&archive=&start_from=&ucat) , which if substantiated, could cause new tintilation in terms of another GOP gay sex scandal (something I always welcome since it under underscores the hypocrisy rampant in the GOP, plus it drives the Christianists crazy). Moreover, it may have a tie to Virginia Beach residents now on trial for murder of a gay porn producer in Pennsylvania. It can't get much racier than this! Here are some highlights:

RUTHERFORD COUNTY, NC MAN IMPLICATED IN DOUBLE MURDER- SUICIDEFormer head of the Georgia Republican Party, Ralph Gonzalez (39), David Abrami (36) and Robert Drake(30), were found dead in an apparent murder-suicide in Orlando, FL last week. Officials say the three had been dead for several days before their bodies were discovered. Police discovered the crime scene acting on a phone call from North Carolina expressing concern over one of the three men. The call reportedly came from an unidentified female friend of Abrami.

The Associated Press reports that Robert Drake, of Rutherford County, NC was the gunman. Newspaper reports describe Drake as a friend of Gonzalez and Abrami. All three men were active in Republican politics. Gonzalez was an influential political consultant, who owned Strategum Group, and managed Congressman Tom Feeny’s 2002 campaign. The house was owned by Gonzalez; Abrami lived with Gonzalez. Newspapers and political websites have been abuzz with posts from friends and associates of Gonzalez, who speculate the motive for the murder-suicide as being a gay love triangle gone wrong. Officials have yet to release details about a possible motive.

Another, more sinister motive has been put forth by several sources, including CrimeBlog.us. Reporters there say that Drake was associated with the owner of a gay escort service in the Virginia Beach area. The owners of that escort service are facing charges that they murdered the owner of a rival company catering to the gay community. A source for the Crime Blog reporter states:

“My solid, but unconfirmed, sources say that Drake was trying to hit Gonzalez up for cash to raise money to defend a kid (Harlow Cuadra) [pictured above with his boyfriend] who is on trial for murder up in Pennsylvania. The 26 year old “kid” ran a gay escort and porn business in Virginia Beach and may have had several Republican clients–Drake being one. (See www.norfolkmaleescorts.com and www.boybatter.com). . . My sources say Drake may have approached Gonzalez for funds for Cuadra’s defense, threatening to blow the lid off everything by MAKING THE REPUBLICAN CLIENT LIST OF THE GAY ESCORT BUSINESS PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE.” http://crimeblog.us/?p=536#more-536

As the Crime Blog reporter rightly says, “we may never know what happened in that house”, but given the recent outings of several prominent gay Republicans (Former RNC National Field Director Dan Gurley, Jeff Gannon, former Rep. Mark Foley, Sen. Larry Craig, National College Republican Chairman Glenn Murphy, etc), a disturbing pattern may be emerging.

Sunday Male Beauty

This week's ENDA hearing

This op-ed by Matt Foreman on 365gay.com (http://365gay.com/opinion/oped/oped.htm) states some important truths. Virginia is one of the states in the USA that affords ZERO non-discrimination protections to LGBT individuals unless they work for state agency and fall under the cover of a Executive Order of the Governor. Even that process is very slow and flawed, based on a case I have been handling. All LGBT individuals need to contact their members of Congress and urge them to vote yes. Our enemies among the Christianists are launching insidious campaigns full of untruths to dupe the uninformed into telling their elected officials to vote against ENDA. Here are some story highlights:

This week, a House subcommittee held a hearing on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). Given that the bill has been languishing for 17 years — in spite of overwhelming public support — a collective “whatever” would be understandable. But folks, this is big — I mean really big — for two reasons.

One is that for the first time ever, the version of ENDA now moving through Congress will cover all our people — lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. The other is that for the first time ever, we have every right to expect — yes demand — that both houses of Congress pass ENDA and put it on the president’s desk.

Let me start by saying ENDA is not the be-all and end-all of pro-LGBT legislation, but it’s a start. By covering employment discrimination only — and not including discrimination in housing, public accommodations, credit and education — it is far less comprehensive than the first piece of pro-gay legislation introduced in Congress in 1974.

Nonetheless, ENDA would provide legal recourse to victims of job discrimination based on sexual orientation to people living in the 31 states that don’t have laws covering anti-gay discrimination and to people living in the 39 states that don’t cover anti-transgender job bias. I also have to note how profoundly ironic it is that at a time when marriage equality is at the forefront of national discourse, Congress is only able to take up employment nondiscrimination protections — which has had between 65 percent to 80 percent public support for years on end. But that’s just the way things are — public support leads, Congress follows (or not).

Sunday Nervousness

Still no information on the court decision - I guess I will have another day of working to keep myself distracted. Therefore, I am going to work at the office since the weather is going to be a bit strange: the first of the outer most rain bands of Tropical Storm Gabrielle are seem to be beginning to arrive, with intermittent rain. Supposedly, we will have rain on and off from now through late afternoon and then sustained rain later into the night. Actually, we truly need the rain since we have none in over a week.

Today's fun tasks will include drafting: (1) an ingress/egress easement; (2) shareholder buy-sell agreements for two different closely held corporations; (3) a demand letter on lost antiques by a consignment store; and (4) a simple law suit on two overdue notes. Doesn't it sound exhilarating? At least it will keep my focus elsewhere.

In follow up to yesterday's post, I want to clarify that I love my kids very much and would not give them up for anything. But at the same time, all the years in the closet and religious induced self-hate takes an enormous toll. Added to that, my ex-wife's attitude has clearly been that I am not entitled to a life - I exist solely to support her and generate money. I suspect that it was that way for a very long time, but I either didn't want to see the truth or I was so busy trying to overcompensate for "my secret" that I let her take advantage of me.