Constant Memories of an Amazing Woman

Although it's been a busy day that ended with an interesting social encounter at the country club (which I will recount in a future post), I continue to be finding myself thinking almost non-stop of my mother and missing her gently, unassuming presence. She had a loving heart and never sought self-aggrandizement. Something some of my siblings clearly did not inherit from her. I will miss her always. The photos of from her wedding day with my dad - June 3, 1950. Ironically, the boyfriend's parents were married on exactly the same day at roughly the same time of day. Go figure.

More Saturday Male Beauty

Pro-Gay Rep. Gabrielle Giffords Shot

I and others have discuss the danger posed by rabid Tea Party supporters and the encouragement of hate and violence that underlies much of the rhetoric of Sarah Palin and others on the far right. While motives of the gunman who shot Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords - wife of NASA astronaut Navy Capt. Mark Kelly - and seventeen others (six are dead, including a judge and a 10 year old child), at a constituent event in Tucson are not yet fully known, suspicions are that the demagoguery of Sarah Palin's cross-hairs target list of members of Congress. In her recent re-election victory Giffords defeated a Tea Party loon. One far right blogger who has deleted ha post, but not before it was captured by a number of bloggers, including Karen Ocamb at LGBT Pov, was ranting against Giffords:
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Gaby Giffords is also on my personal political hit list, primarily because Pam and I live in Cochise County, Arizona, which is part of District 8. We don’t appreciate our Representative going against our wishes and voting for Obama’s Health Care Deformed…and I intend to do my part to help make her pay.”

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Interestingly, Sarah Palin has also scrubbed the image set forth below at the bottom of this post from her site which was was fortunately screen captured before the deletion. I have argued many times that these far right fanatics and those who incite them are a clear and present danger to the rule of law and constitutional government. Words of hate and incitements to violence DO have consequences and if it proves that the shooter was encouraged to act by Palin and those like her, her political career needs to end NOW. KOLD-TV 13 has this on the shooter:
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Jared Lee Loughner is being held after Giffords was shot Saturday at an event in Tucson. Multiple search warrants are being served in the investigation, said Pima County Sheriff's Department spokesman Rick Kastigar.
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It will be instructive to see what the searches turn up in terms of Loughner's motivations.

Army's "Spiritual Fitness" Test Comes Under Fire

This blog has focused before on the pernicious influence that some far right Christianists exert within the U.S. military. These religious zealots seek to force others to buy into their often whacked out beliefs. Now another example of this perversion has been exposed in the so-called "Spiritual Fitness" test the U.S. Army has been administering as part of a "Comprehensive Soldier Fitness program. Apparently 800,000 soldiers have been subjected to the batshitery. Equally troubling is that the "test" was designed by psychologist who inspired CIA's torture program. Those not scoring well on the "spiritual test" have been led to believe they must take "remedial training" against their will in order to avoid adverse career consequences. The test and remedial training does nothing less than unconstitutionally require enlistees to believe in God or a "higher power" in order to be deemed "spiritually fit." Truth Out has coverage of this program and the efforts of the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF) to end the program. Here are some highlights:
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An experimental, Army mental-health, fitness initiative designed by the same psychologist whose work heavily influenced the psychological aspects of the Bush administration's torture program is under fire by civil rights groups and hundreds of active-duty soldiers. They say it unconstitutionally requires enlistees to believe in God or a "higher power" in order to be deemed "spiritually fit" to serve in the Army.
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Comprehensive Soldier Fitness (CSF) is a $125 million "holistic fitness program" unveiled in late 2009. . . . CSF is comprised of the Soldier Fitness Tracker and Global Assessment Tool, which measures soldiers' "resilience" in five core areas: emotional, physical, family, social and spiritual. Soldiers fill out an online survey made up of more than 100 questions, and if the results fall into a red area, they are required to participate in remedial courses in a classroom or online setting to strengthen their resilience in the disciplines in which they received low scores. The test is administered every two years. More than 800,000 Army soldiers have taken it thus far.
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[F]for the thousands of "Foxhole Atheists" like 27-year-old Sgt. Justin Griffith, the spiritual component of the test contains questions written predominantly for soldiers who believe in God or another deity, meaning nonbelievers are guaranteed to score poorly and will be forced to participate in exercises that use religious imagery to "train" soldiers up to a satisfactory level of spirituality.
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Brig. Gen. Rhonda Cornum's claims that soldiers are not required to participate in remedial training if they score poorly on the spiritual portion of the test were not articulated to Griffith and other soldiers, who told Truthout they feared they would be disciplined by their superior officers if they didn't act on the recommendations they received after taking the exam. In fact, nowhere on the test does it state that such training is voluntary.
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Last week, the Military Religious Freedom Foundation (MRFF) sent a letter to Secretary of the Army John McHugh and General Casey, the Army's chief of staff, demanding that the Army immediately cease and desist administering the "spiritual" portion of the CSF test.
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"The purpose of the [spiritual component of the test] though couched in general and vague language, is to strengthen a solder's religious conviction," says the December 30, 2010, letter signed by Caroline Mitchell, an attorney with the law firm Jones Day, who is representing MRFF. "Soldiers who hold deep religious convictions routinely pass the spirituality component of this test while atheists and nontheists do not. The Army cannot avoid the conclusion that this test is an unconstitutional endorsement of religion by simply substituting the word 'spiritual' for 'religious.'"
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Mitchell says the Establishment Clause of the Constitution prohibits such religious testing. "And it's not just the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment which is being blatantly violated here," Weinstein said. "Clause 3 of Article 6 of the body of our nation's Constitution specifically prohibits any type of 'religious test' being used in connection with any government service. Thus, this 'spirituality' portion of the Army's CSF test completely savages this bedrock Constitutional prohibition."
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It seems in my opinion if anyone is unfit for military service it is the religious nut cases who trample on the constitutional rights of others as they try to advance their theocratic agenda.

Saturday Male Beauty

The Consequences of Sexual Abuse - And Why I'm Not a Catholic

I have taken a lot of denigration at times for leaving the Catholic Church and continuing to focus on this blog on the moral rot and hypocrisy that is rampant throughout the Church's clerical ranks - including denigration from one family member in particular. Sexual abuse of children and youths has real and lasting consequences on the victims, yet it's often easy to miss the magnitude of human tragedy for the victims as one sees fleeting reports on damage awards to victims, dioceses filing bankruptcy to avoid the full consequences of the moral bankruptcy of past and present bishops and priests (Milwaukee is the latest to file), and the Vatican claiming sovereign immunity as a "state" to dodge the consequences of papal directed cover ups and secrecy. As ABC News and other outlets are reporting, Bill Zeller (pictured at right), a promising Princeton graduate student who had been haunted by childhood rapes killed himself this week, leaving a 4,000-word suicide note disclosing the "darkness" that stalked him. The Daily Princetonian has an article on Zeller's brilliance. Zeller does not identify his abuser, but the damage that Zeller experienced is similar to what many of the of the tens of thousands of victims of predator priests have voiced. For those who denigrate me, they need to read Zeller's suicide note, highlights of which are below, and accept the responsibility that as "practicing Catholics" they support the institution that knowingly and uncaringly allowed so much damage of this nature. My question remains: how can a truly moral person continue to attend and financially support such an church? Here are portions of Zeller's suicide note:
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I have the urge to declare my sanity and justify my actions, but I
assume I'll never be able to convince anyone that this was the right decision. Maybe it's true that anyone who does this is insane by definition, but I can at least explain my reasoning. I considered not writing any of this because of how personal it is, but I like tying up loose ends and don't want people to wonder why I did this. Since I've never spoken to anyone about what happened to me, people would likely draw the wrong conclusions.
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My first memories as a child are of being raped, repeatedly. This has affected every aspect of my life. This darkness, which is the only way I can describe it, has followed me like a fog, but at times intensified and overwhelmed me, usually triggered by a distinct situation. In kindergarten I couldn't use the bathroom and would stand petrified whenever I needed to, which started a trend of awkward and unexplained social behavior. The damage that was done to my body still prevents me from using the bathroom normally, but now it's less of a physical impediment than a daily reminder of what was done to me.
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This darkness followed me as I grew up. I remember spending hours
playing with legos, having my world consist of me and a box of cold, plastic blocks. Just waiting for everything to end. It's the same thing I do now, but instead of legos it's surfing the web or reading or listening to a baseball game. Most of my life has been spent feeling dead inside, waiting for my body to catch up.
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The darkness is with me nearly every time I wake up. I feel like a grime is covering me. I feel like I'm trapped in a contimated body that no amount of washing will clean. Whenever I think about what happened I feel manic and itchy and can't concentrate on anything else. It manifests itself in hours of eating or staying up for days at a time or sleeping for sixteen hours straight or week long programming binges or constantly going to the gym. I'm exhausted from feeling like this every hour of every day.
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Three to four nights a week I have nightmares about what happened. It makes me avoid sleep and constantly tired, because sleeping with what feels like hours of nightmares is not restful. I wake up sweaty and furious. I'm reminded every morning of what was done to me and the control it has over my life.
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I didn't realize how deep a hold he had on me and my life until my
first relationship. I stupidly assumed that no matter how the darkness affected me personally, my romantic relationships would somehow be separated and protected. . . . . Instead of being an escape, relationships and romantic contact with other people only intensified everything about him that I couldn't stand. I will never be able to have a relationship in which he is not the focus, affecting every aspect of my romantic interactions.
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Last spring I met someone who was unlike anyone else I'd ever met.
Someone who showed me just how well two people could get along and how much I could care about another human being. Someone I know I could be with and love for the rest of my life, if I weren't so fucked up. Amazingly, she liked me. She liked the shell of the man the darkness had left behind. But it didn't matter because I couldn't be alone with her. It was never just the two of us, it was always the three of us: her, me and the darkness. The closer we got, the more intensely I'd feel the darkness, like some evil mirror of my emotions.
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I don't blame anyone in particular, I guess it's just how people are. Even if I felt like this is something I could have shared, I have no interest in being part of a friendship or relationship where the other person views me as the damaged and contaminated person that I am. So even if I were able to trust someone, I probably would not have told them about what happened to me. At this point I simply don't care who knows.
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I'm just a broken, miserable shell of a human being. Being molested has defined me as a person and shaped me as a human being and it has made me the monster I am and there's nothing I can do to escape it. I don't know any other existence. I don't know what life feels like where I'm apart from any of this. I actively despise the person I am. I just feel fundamentally broken, almost non-human.
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I have accepted that the darkness will never allow me to be in a
relationship. I will never go to sleep with someone in my arms, feeling the comfort of their hands around me. I will never know what uncontimated intimacy is like. I will never have an exclusive bond with someone, someone who can be the recipient of all the love I have to give.
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There's no point in identifying who molested me, so I'm just going to leave it at that. I doubt the word of a dead guy with no evidence about something that happened over twenty years ago would have much sway.
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I often wonder what life must be like for other people. People who
can feel the love from others and give it back unadulterated, people who can experience sex as an intimate and joyous experience, people who can experience the colors and happenings of this world without constant misery. I wonder who I'd be if things had been different or if I were a stronger person. It sounds pretty great.
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I'd also like to address my family, if you can call them that. I despise everything they stand for and I truly hate them, in a non-emotional, dispassionate and what I believe is a healthy way. The world will be a better place when they're dead--one with less hatred and intolerance.
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If you're unfamiliar with the situation, my parents are fundamentalist Christians who kicked me out of their house and cut me off financially when I was 19 because I refused to attend seven hours of church a week. They live in a black and white reality they've constructed for themselves.
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If you choose to follow a religion where, for example, devout Catholics who are trying to be good people are all going to Hell but child molestors go to Heaven (as long as they were "saved" at some point), that's your choice, but it's fucked up. Maybe a God who operates by those rules does exist. If so, fuck Him.

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Their church was always more important than the members of their family and they happily sacrificed whatever necessary in order to satisfy their contrived beliefs about who they should be.
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I'm sorry for the pain this causes. I really do wish I had another
option. I hope this letter explains why I needed to do this. If you
can't understand this decision, I hope you can at least forgive me. Bill Zeller
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Multiply this tragedy thousands and thousands of times over and that's what "practicing Catholic" are accessories to because those who allowed it to happen and go unpunished remain unpunished themselves - one even currently sits on the throne of St. Peter. I simply cannot be a part of something so horrible and monstrous.

Death, Funerals and Family Dysfunction

People say that death brings out the worse aspects of families and mine is sadly no exception. Many people have asked for details on my mother's funeral so that they could pay their respects, send flowers or whatever they might want to do to honor my mother's memory. Thus, I am writing to update these friends and wonderfully supportive readers on the situation. After much thought and as a result of family confrontations that I do not want to elaborate upon, I will be having a separate memorial service at a date and location later in the month that will be disclosed once the plans are finalized.

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Although I will not be attending either one, there will also a Catholic funeral mass in Charlottesville on January 15, 2011 and a grave side service on January 16, 2011, in Virginia Beach. In lieu of flowers friends and readers are welcomed to make a donation in memory/honor of my mother, Marion Hibben Phelps Hamar to a charity of their choice. One charity that I might suggest is Hospice House of the Piedmont (pictured above) where my mother spent her last few days. Contact information is as follows:
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Hospice of the Piedmont
675 Peter Jefferson Parkway, Suite 300
Charlottesville, VA 22911

If anyone does decide to make a donation, include my mother's name and use my name and office address as the point of notification. Donations can be made online here.

Friday Male Beauty

Gates Orders DOD to Accelerate DADT Repeal

Expect another burst of batshitery from the usually Christianist and anti-gay hate group mouth pieces when they learn that Defense Secretary Robert Gates has ordered the Department of Defense to accelerate the implementation of DADT repeal. And, given John McCain's sudden announcement - did Cindy and Megan get to him? - that he will do all he can to make DADT repeal work, expect some additional fulminating against McCain as well. As noted before on this blog, DADT has been one of the center pieces of the Christianist agenda to keep LGBT citizens inferior under the law since it has allowed them to cite the government's anti-gay discrimination as a justification for their own bigotry. DADT is a big deal in terms of undermining their agenda and the shrieking and wailing is only bound to get more shrill. Here are highlights from Stars and Stripes on Gates' action:
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Defense Secretary Robert Gates has instructed the Defense Department to accelerate a plan to end the “don’t ask, don’t tell” ban on openly gay military personnel and start rolling out its training within a “very few weeks.”
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Gates in a Pentagon press conference revealed a three-step plan: finalize changes in related regulations and policies, and get clearer definitions on benefits; prepare training materials for chaplains, lawyers, commanders and troops; and then begin to train servicemembers worldwide.
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“We’re trying to get the first two phases of that process done as quickly as possible,” Gates said, adding he has instructed Undersecretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness Clifford Stanley to accelerate his efforts. “My hope is that it can be done within a matter of a very few weeks so that we can then move on to what is the real challenge, which is providing training to 2.2 million people. And we will do that as expeditiously as we can.”
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Advocates for repeal have insisted no such training is required, and have warned the Pentagon against slow-rolling final certification to end “don’t ask, don’t tell.” Still, Adm. Mike Mullen, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, advised gay servicemembers to exercise just a bit more patience. “Now is not the time to come out,” Mullen said. “We certainly are focused on this and we won’t dawdle.”

Parents of gay Children Should Push Their Churches to Change

The Rochester Democrat-Chronicle has a story of the laudatory - although in my view, misguided - efforts of a Catholic couple who are the parents of a gay son to push the Roman Catholic Church to cease its anti-gay jihad and their effort to get other parents to do likewise. To me, there is no question that change is needed in the Catholic Church on many fronts, but given the Church's Medieval power structure tyring to advocate from within is a case of pissing into a powerful wind. The Vatican and the corrupt and pompous bishops understand ultimately two things: membership numbers and, even more importantly, contribution revenues. Anyone who remains in the Church and continues to give it financial support is tantamount to a masochist or else playing a role akin to the "good Germans" who went along with and were accomplices to the Nazi regime's policies and atrocities. Taking the initiative to walk out from the familiar isn't easy, but in my opinion, it is the ONLY thing that will ever have the potential to work real change. I laud the efforts of this couple, but they are tilting at windmills. Talk alone will not work, One needs to talk AND walk away, making it crystal clear to all in earshot why one is leaving. Here are story highlights:
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When Casey and Mary Ellen Lopata's son Jim told them in 1983 that he is gay, the coming-out turned their world upside down. They never wavered in their love for Jim, 19 at the time, or in their love for and devotion to the Catholic Church.
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For several years, the Lopatas worked with Catholic Gay and Lesbian Family Ministry of the Diocese of Rochester, which gradually built a network of families willing to share their stories and be a voice for compassion within the church. Casey, who has a master's of divinity degree, speaks and writes about the theological perspective. The church, he says, teaches that homosexuality, which is not a choice but an orientation, is not sinful. Only homosexual relations, which, like any sexual activity outside marriage, is sinful. But Casey says it's not that simple. The church also teaches that celibacy is a gift. Not everyone has it; must all gays live celibate lives if they do not have the gift? The church, he says, also teaches that no one is obliged to do what is impossible for them.
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In 2004, the Lopatas formed Fortunate Families (www.fortunatefamilies.com), a resource and networking ministry for Catholic parents of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender children. The group works primarily with Catholic families, but welcomes others. The website collects and shares personal stories and includes a "listening network" of parent volunteers who lend an ear to other parents who are struggling with questions about their children's sexual orientation.
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"There will never be change if people don't talk," Mary Ellen says. They started Fortunate Families because they wanted to "go national," Casey says. "We thought that parents — who are often pillars of the community and active in their churches — have the greatest opportunity to make a difference." But many parents are themselves "on the edge" of leaving churches where their children do not feel welcome. Parents, Mary Ellen says, "need to find their voices and be not afraid."

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Again, in my view, until more and more "pillars of the community" walk away in a very public manner, the Caseys - while doing good for families with gay members - are fooling themselves if they think the Vatican or the bishops give a damn abut their efforts. The Church is still getting the monetary donations, and that's the bottom line of what matters to Rome.

More Male Beauty

FRC Seeks Supernatural Intervention Against Gays

The lunacy and viciousness of the Christianists - in this case the hate merchants and Kool-Aid drinkers at the registered hate group, Family Research Council - against gays truly knows no limits. As Right Wing Watch is reporting, FRC is circulating a "prayer team update" that declares that America is under God's judgment because of its embrace of "perverted sexual practices" and urges members to ask God to "supernaturally intervene" to reverse steps toward gay equality. It is disturbing that individuals who are either ignorant - often by choice - or willing bigots eat up this stuff rather than take the initiative to exercise independent thought and analysis. Here's a sampling of the trash that Tony Perkins, et al are disseminating via Right Wing Watch :
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With the traditional American family in near statistical free fall, homosexual activists persist in their destructive agenda. Backslapping and self congratulation at President Obama's signing of the law to overturn DADT left Bucolically informed onlookers aghast. Obama and Vice President Biden say they are rethinking their position on homosexual "marriage." Yet God's plan for marriage, family, and natural sexuality is essential to the survival of our nation.
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The Senate not only used the lame duck session to overturn Don't Ask, Don't Tell (65-31 vote), it also confirmed Chai Feldblum by "unanimous consent" to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission during Christmas week. Feldblum, an open lesbian, is infamous for her view that homosexual rights trump religious liberty.
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Meanwhile attacks charging FRC and other Christian groups with "hate" for holding to a Biblical view of marriage and sexuality, continues. May God's people have faith to believe that laws giving those who practice homosexuality special rights, protections and privileges can be reversed! May the Lord supernaturally intervene to do so.
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As I noted here, the true Biblical standard for marriage is polygamy, not one man and one woman. But then, true "Christians" never let the true facts get in the way of their agenda.

Why Is CNN Using Hate Groups for "Balance" On LGBT Issues

The Boston Globe - which I commented on recently for its piece on Scott Lively - is unfortunately not the only supposedly reputable news outlet that resorts to using representatives of registered hate groups in the supposed quest of being "fair and balanced" in covering LGBT issues. CNN is another such news outlet that gives the hate groups a constant platform. As noted in the post on the Globe's ass kissing of Lively, if CNN is to be consistent, then each spot on a racial civil rights issue ought to have the Klu Klux Klan as a counterpoint. GLAAD has had enough of this disingenuous bullshit and has started a petition that will be delivered to CNN demanding that this equivalent of yellow journalism cease. I encourage readers to sign the petition here. It is beyond ridiculous that individuals who would NEVER be given a venue/platform on issues of religious or racial discrimination time and time again are given a free rein on gay bashing. Particularly when the individuals represent documented hate groups with records of lies and untruths. Here are highlights from GLAAD's explanation for the petition campaign:
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CNN has long been one of America's most respected journalistic organizations on many issues, but for several years, it has had a giant blind spot when it comes to issues that impact the LGBT community. On December 21, John King USA ran a segment featuring Peter Sprigg from Family Research Council, but there are countless other examples. Out of a desire for 'balance' on these issues, CNN turned - as they often do - to the anti-gay industry to provide the counterpoint. Except all too frequently, the network doesn't book these people because they provide any actual expertise or experience on issues that impact LGBT people; their only qualification is that they are anti-gay.
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Sprigg's qualifications, however, came exclusively from his job at the Family Research Council. There, Sprigg has worked to advance some of the most hurtful, dangerous, and demonstrably false notions about the lives of LGBT people that our country has seen in recent years. And yet, by pairing him with Nicholson in this segment, CNN told its millions of viewers that both of these men should be seen as equally valuable to this discussion.
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The media is elevating their hurtful messages and attitudes to the level of rational discourse. The media is saying that people like Alexander Nicholson, who can speak to real-life experience and firsthand facts, need to be "balanced" by people like Peter Sprigg, whose claim to fame is arguing that being gay should be outlawed. If CNN wants to interview a gay person who believes being straight should be outlawed, THEN Peter Sprigg would be an acceptable "balance."
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I've signed the petition because it is far past time that CNN and other news outlets stop lending an image of credibility to those who lack ant legitimate credentials - Peter Sprigg being but one such example. I hope every reader will do so as well.

Thursday Male Beauty

James Franco: "Maybe I'm Just Gay"

I will concede that I like James Franco - besides being beautiful, he seems to show an interest in understanding gay lives and the issues that go along with not conforming to the dictates of a heterosexual dominated society which has often utilized antiquated religious beliefs and chosen ignorance to demean and stigmatize gays. In addition, he seems to enjoy making tongues wag with calculated comments such as one in an Entertainment Weekly interview where he discusses his gay movie roles. As EW notes, "“Is James Franco gay?” is a favorite query of the pop-cultural chattering classes." Hopefully, the day will come when one's sexuality is a complete non-issue. Until then, it's nice to have an actor who seems to cherish taking on gay roles that give insights to the larger public as to our common humanity. Here are some highlights:
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Having the public ponder your sexuality is a celebrity rite of passage. But the thing that makes Franco’s case so interesting is that, unlike the loud denials from some stars and even louder silences from others, the response from the 127 Hours star (who, for the record, has been in a years-long relationship with actress Ahna O’Reilly) is actually pretty nuanced.
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The actor definitely doesn’t let the speculation inhibit his choice of roles; Franco’s filmography is packed with gay characters, from Allen Ginsberg in Howl, to activist Scott Smith in Milk and poet Hart Crane in his just-wrapped feature The Broken Tower.
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“There are lots of other reasons to be interested in gay characters than wanting myself to go out and have sex with guys,” he says. “And there are also lots of other aspects about these characters that I’m interested in, in addition to their sexuality. So, in some ways it’s coincidental, in other ways it’s not. I mean, I’ve played a gay man who’s living in the ’60s and ’70s, a gay man who we depicted in the ‘50s, and one being in the ‘20s. And those were all periods when to be gay, at least being gay in public, was much more difficult. Part of what I’m interested in is how these people who were living anti-normative lifestyles contended with opposition. Or, you know what, maybe I’m just gay.”

The Embrace of Ignorance

The sign pictured above is real as best I can tell and it speaks volumes of the regressive influence fundamentalist religion is in the world, regardless of whether it goes under the name of Christianity, Islam or something else. I'm sorry, but facts DO MATTER and the world would be a far better place if more individuals accepted facts and modern knowledge be it on sexual orientation, climate change and a host of other issues. In my view, fundamentalist religion - and by this I include much of the Catholic Church' 13th century mindset - is the enemy of progress and human well being. It's about time our news outlets and journalists stop giving deference to a toxic influence in the world.

Two Virginia Lawmakers Introduce Anti-Bullying Bills

As I have noted before, Virginia's current anti-bullying laws are nothing less than a joke and school personnel who fail to address bullying are pretty much given blanket immunity while the bullies face virtually no consequences - even when the bullying leads to a student's suicide as happened last May at Grafton High School in nearby York County in the case of Christian Taylor (pictured at right). In Taylor's case, his principal bully continues to strut around the school and likely bullies others still with zero consequences. Now, two members of the Virginia General Assembly - one gay and one straight have introduced bills that would address this shameful deficiency in Virginia's laws. These bills deserve passage yet I am sure will be strongly opposed by the Christo-fascists at The Family Foundation who want no conceivable constraints on their ability to denigrate and make life a living Hell for LGBT students and others who do not subscribe to their vile and perverted version of Christianity. One can only hope that all too spineless members of the General Assembly with for once stand up to Victoria Cobb and her fellow hate merchants. Here are highlights from the Washington Blade's coverage:
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Two members of the Virginia House of Delegates — one gay, one a straight ally — have introduced two anti-bullying bills that, if successful, will be major accomplishments in the coming legislative session considering how difficult activists and elected officials there have found getting pro-LGBT legislation passed.
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Del. Adam Ebbin, who represents Virginia’s 49th House District, which includes parts of Arlington County, Alexandria and Fairfax County, has introduced legislation that would make bullying a class one misdemeanor, give victims the right to sue bullies who are sanctioned or found guilty, provide for expulsions for bullies and require that any bullying that causes injury be reported to the state’s attorney. Ebbin is the only openly gay member of the House of Delegates.
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Del. David Englin, who represents the state’s 45th House District which includes parts of Arlington and Fairfax counties and Alexandria, has introduced the “Anti-Bullying Responsibility Act,” which would add specificity to the codes of student conduct already required of state school districts, require schools to have procedures in place to separate victims from bullies, make bullying intervention a requirement for teachers, require incidents to be reported to superintendents and hold administrators responsible for their local policies.
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Ebbin’s bill, for instance, adds sexual orientation and gender identity to the definition of bullying even though some districts, such as his, already have that specified. He said having those areas identified is important because in some parts of the state, educators don’t take anti-gay bullying seriously.
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Ebbin said he was inspired to introduce the legislation in part because of the late Christian Taylor, a 16-year-old freshman at Grafton High School in Yorktown, Va., who committed suicide last May after enduring months of bullying. He hung himself in his bedroom. His mother told reporters they had reported the bullying to school administrators and police but nothing was done. Police said they looked into the situation but turned it over to the school when they determined no crime had been committed. Ebbin said one bully told Taylor, “you need to just go commit suicide and get it over with.”

Wednesday Male Beauty

Tobey, Thank you for your sweet comment.

More Christianist Batshitery: “Recruit-Proofing’’ Your Child From Gay Activists

In light of my last post on parents accepting their LGBT children, I cannot pass up the opportunity to comment on the vile bullshit coming from the mouth of Holocaust revisionist and certifiable lunatic Scott Lively (pictured at left). The Boston Globe - once again - is irresponsibly providing Lively with a platform from which to disseminate lies and documented medical and mental health care falsehoods. The largely suck-up article, while mentioning Lively's role in the "kill the gays" bill in Uganda, fails to point out other than in passing that Lively and his anti-gay organization have been registered as a hate group.

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Sadly, one can only wonder when the Globe will be doing a puff piece that provides a platform for the Imperial Wizard of the Klu Klu Klan or some similar leader of a despicable hate group. Apparently, the Boston Globe aspires to National Enquirer status. I hope that the article's author, Michael Levinson, will be fired - but only after a thorough horse whipping. This is NOT an example of responsible reporting. Worse of all, some parents may well stupidly buy into Lively's bogus bullshit. Oh, and isn't it instructive that Lively - like so many in the anti-gay industry admits to being a "former" alcoholic and drug addict? Here are highlights from the Globe's yammering:
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SPRINGFIELD — He gained international attention after he was accused of stoking violence against gays in Uganda. One of his books, “Pink Swastika,’’ argues that Hitler and other Nazi leaders were gay. Another provides seven steps to “recruit-proof’’ your child from gay activists. But Scott Lively says he is toning down his antigay rhetoric and shifting his focus to helping the downtrodden. And he’s found a home and a receptive audience in this struggling city where many, but not all, have embraced his mission to “re-Christianize Springfield.’’
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But some in the city are wary. Gay rights and civil rights groups, including the Southern Poverty Law Center, have labeled Lively’s longtime organization, Abiding Truth Ministries, a hate group.
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Lively, 53, has been a prominent activist denouncing gays for decades, mostly on the West Coast. But he leapt into the world spotlight in March 2009, when he traveled to Uganda, and addressed members of parliament at a seminar on “exposing the homosexuals’ agenda.’’
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Lively warned the gathering that gays are a serious threat and their lifestyle “will lead to social chaos and destruction.’’ “The gay movement is an evil institution that’s goal is to defeat the marriage-based society and replace it with a culture of sexual promiscuity,’’ he told the conference, according to a video of his remarks.
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Lively’s role in the anti-homosexuality bill was featured prominently in The New York Times, on ABC News and National Public Radio, and he was mocked on “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.’’ Rick Warren, the prominent evangelical pastor, released a statement saying he had never met Lively during his own work in Uganda, and added, “I would certainly not associate with anyone who denies the Holocaust.’’
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He says he has not changed his view that gays are “agents of America’s moral decline’’ but has refocused his approach to fit his flock in Springfield, which he said includes many homeless people, drug addicts, and alcoholics.
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Lively continues to denounce homosexuality. Paul said that when he invited Lively to preach at his church earlier this year, Lively delivered an “old-time, hellfire message’’ condemning gays.
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[Rev. Kapya Kaoma, an Episcopal priest from Zambia] said he doubts Lively and others who denounced gays in Uganda have truly changed. “When they are in Africa, they preach hatred; when they come to America, because they know Americans are going to hold them accountable, they become moderates,’’ he said. “Honestly, I wouldn’t believe a thing from Scott Lively. I don’t even think he’s capable of toning down his anti-gay rhetoric.’’
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For those might want to do so, the article's author, Michael Levenson can be reached at mlevenson@globe.com,

A Parent's Wondeful Gift to An LGBT Child

My mother, Marion Hibben Phelps Hamar (pictured above with my late sister many years back on the neighborhood beach near my parents' home of 32 years in Virginia Beach) passed away a little before 2:30 PM this afternoon. She was a great lady with a dynamic life that began in Puerto Castilla, Honduras where she was born in 1927. She did so many wonderful things for me and my siblings over the years be it being there to comfort us over childhood injuries, teaching us how to canoe, snow ski and water ski, or instilling in us a love of reading and giving us the example of a loving and kind heart. In my particular case, she - and my late dad - accepted me without hesitation when I came out to them in mid-life. While so-called "friends" and law partners deserted me, my mom and my dad never wavered. Would that more parents of LGBT youths and adults followed that example. My dad did not live to meet my partner Barry, by my mother loved him - as he came to love her.

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With constant news articles about homeless LGBT youth making up a disproportionate number of homeless youth - one 365gay.com story estimates 20-40% even though LGBT youth make up only 5-10% of the population - parental acceptance is critical. In many cases these youths are homeless because their parents threw them out of the house for being gay, with the Bible typically cited for justification. As a parent of three children myself, I just do not comprehend such a f*cked behavior. Again, my mom set the example that all true loving parents should follow. I will be thankful to my mom for the rest of my life for this additional great gift she gave to me. As for parents who disown their LGBT children (and I say this as a parent myself), they need to take a good look in the mirror and ask themselves WTF is wrong with them? Oh, and if they use religion as an excuse, then they need to find themselves a new church/faith group. God, Christ, Allah, or whatever name you use, would not want a betrayal of one's own children.

Waiting For My Mother's Impending Death

As I mentioned in a post last week, my mother's health has been deteriorating rapidly after battling cancer for over 14 years. She moved to a hospice in Charlottesville earlier in the week and has taken a dramatic turn for the worse. Last night we children all received a call at 3:15 AM that things were looking grim. We don't know at this point whether she will make it through the day or not. Blogging will be spotty at best. I am putting up this post since I know that some long time readers will be on the verge of checking on me. I thank them in advance for the loyalty and concern. The photo above is from the beach at our summer home in the Adirondacks which fortunately my mother got to see one last time this past summer. It is one of her favorite places in the world.

More Tuesday Male Beauty

National Organization for Marriage's 2009 Tax Return Shows Handfull of Big Donors

Part of the smoke and mirrors PR campaign against same sex-marriage by National Organization for Marriage ("NOM") is to present the false picture that NOM is a grass roots organization with widespread support. However, NOM's much belatedly released 2009 tax return indicates that five (5) donors contributed 75% of NOM's income in that tax year. Given NOM's past conduct, it's likely the 2010 return will not be forthcoming on time either. Should 2010's return mirror the pattern of 2009, it would seem that Maggie Gallagher's self-enriching operation is actually mainly a front for a small hand full of donors. So far, I've seen nothing that identifies these donors - something that may be even more telling yet. NOM has shown that it believes that it is above the campaign finance laws of a number of states and in general behaves like most Christianist groups: thinking itself above the law and entitled to special rights not available to others. Indeed, when these organizations accuse LGBT citizens of wanting "special rights," one can only assume that they must be looking in a mirror as theaccusations are made. Here are some highlights from HRC's new page:
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[T]he National Organization for Marriage today released its 2009 Form 990, the tax return they are required to submit to the IRS. . . . The 990 shows that three wealthy donors contributed 68% of their total donations; four donors gave 73% and five donors gave 75%.
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“NOM’s reluctance to make their tax returns available publicly is par for the course in their pattern of secrecy and shadowy dealings,” said Kevin Nix, NOM Project Director for HRC. “While NOM claims to represent a grassroots network, it’s not surprising that they’ve tried to hide the fact that they are almost entirely beholden to a few wealthy, anti-gay donors.”
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Most of the $7.1 million in ’09 revenue came from a few very large donors. These donors could be individuals or corporations but their identities are not required to be disclosed publicly. According to the 990, here is how NOM’s top donations break down.
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1. $2,475,000
2. $1,230,000
3. $1,100,000
4. $400,000
5. $150,000

9th Circuit Directs Question to California Supreme Court in Prop 8 Case

As many LGBT blogs and news outlets are reporting, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has deferred to the California Supreme Court on a question of standing in the appeal from Judge Vaughan's ruling in Perry v. Schwarzenegger. The issue is whether the proponents of Proposition 8 have standing to bring the appeal where the State of California - acting through the office of Governor and Attorney General - has refused to do so. In its partial decision, the 9th Circuit did rule that Imperial County lacks any standing to bring the appeal. As noted in prior posts, federal court rulings suggest that the Proposition 8 supporters likely do not have the standing to litigate the appeal. However, since Prop 8 is a California provision, the 9th Circuit referred the issue to the California Supreme Court. As some analysis has suggested, this move may be wise since if the California Supreme finds that the Prop 8 proponents lack standing, a potential issue for appeal should Judge Vaughan's ruling is upheld will have been taken away from the anti-gay marriage crowd. Candidly, a finding that the Prop 8 supporters have standing would open the door to all kinds of crackpots and crazies bring appeals. Thus, I hope the answer of the California Supreme Court is a resounding "No!" Here are some highlights from the San Francisco Chronicle:
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California's highest court, which has issued three rulings on same-sex marriage in less than seven years, was handed another crucial question Tuesday - whether sponsors of a voter-approved measure banning gay and lesbian weddings have the right to defend it in court.
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Then-Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger and ex-Attorney General Jerry Brown refused to appeal a federal judge's ruling in August that the measure unconstitutionally discriminated based on sexual orientation and gender. So the future of the case depends on whether Prop. 8's sponsor, a conservative religious coalition called Protect Marriage, has legal standing - the right to represent the interests of the state and its voters.
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If not, the federal appeals court could uphold Chief U.S. District Judge Vaughn Walker's ruling and restore same-sex marriage in California - legalized briefly by a 2008 state Supreme Court ruling - without deciding whether Prop. 8 is constitutional.
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The California court has allowed initiative supporters to argue in favor of a measure's validity but has never said whether they could do so if the state did not join in. The U.S. Supreme Court, in a 1997 Arizona case, said it had "grave doubts" that a ballot measure's sponsors could stand in for state officials.
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In a separate order Tuesday, the federal court denied standing to Imperial County, which had sought to enter the Prop. 8 case and defend the ballot measure that 70 percent of its voters supported. The court said the county had no independent authority over marriage, apart from carrying out state law, and noted that the elected county clerk - whose duties might be affected by the case - had not joined the appeal.

McDonnell and Marshall Spar Over Marshall's Lunatic DADT Ban Proposal

Nothing is more entertaining than watching far right wing Republicans get in sh*tstorm between each other over who can be more reactionary than the other. In this instance, the truly psychologically disturbed Del. Bob Marshall wins out over Governor Bob "Taliban Bob" McDonnell on the issue of gays in the Virginia National Guard - assuming that one is a Neanderthal knuckle dragger. By "winning," of course, Marshall embarrasses not only himself, but the entire Commonwealth of Virginia. A column in the Fredericksburg Free Lance Star roundly trashes Marshall and his unrelenting homophobia and desire to drag the Virginia back into the 19th century. Behind the scenes of all of this is Marshall's delusional ambition to win the GOP nomination to run for U. S. Senator - which Marshall apparently thinks he can win by being even more crazy than Christine O'Donnell. Meanwhile, McDonnell's ambitions for higher office dictate that he tone down his image as a Pat Robertson puppet. The Virginian Pilot looks at the McDonnell v. Marshall set to and here are some highlights:
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During an appearance on FOX & Friends this morning to discuss his bill to ban "active homosexuals" from the Virginia National Guard, Del. Bob Marshall said that Gov. Bob McDonnell is incorrect in concluding that the Guard must abide by Defense Department regulations on gays in the military. A Prince William County Republican, Marshall has announced plans to file legislation to block gays from Guard service in Virginia.
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McDonnell previously said that while he disagrees with the policy change he "expects the Guard to adhere to the final guidelines implemented by the Department of Defense." The governor also noted that the bulk of the "Guard’s funding is federal and any departure from federal policies may put this funding at risk."
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Marshall argued that his bill could be enforced because the U.S. Army and the Virginia National Guard have different enlistment criteria.
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The Free Lance Star piece looks at the history of the Virginia National Guard and demonstrates that once again Marshall is full of ignorance, bullshit and bigotry. Here are some highlights:
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In olden times, when marauding Indians were the main threat to a community's survival, state militias could afford to operate independently. But the nature of the modern world requires the Regular military branches, the Reserves, and the National and Air Guards to function as one. As early as 1903, the Dick Act brought the state organizations under close federal supervision and authorized the War Department to establish training standards for the various National Guards.
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Later, in 1933, the National Guard Mobilization Act explicitly made the Guard a component of the Army, while the Total Force Policy of 1973 formally blended the Regular Army, Army Reserve, and Army National Guard into one doctrinal entity. Finally, in 2008, President Bush signed a bill placing the National Guard Bureau under the Department of Defense.
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Now, what would happen, in the high emergency of war, were openly gay Regular Army soldiers, or Minnesota reservists, transferred to Virginia Guard units that still clung to "don't ask"? Grudging acceptance? Flat rejection? In any case, the result would be lost efficiency when efficiency is crucial. Where now is the Marshall expertise on threats to national security?
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Whatever in the Constitution Mr. Marshall has found that allows a National Guard to go its own way, the courts have not detected it. After some liberal governors threatened to exempt state Guard units from overseas assignment during the Reagan era, Congress in 1987 squelched those threats with the Montgomery Amendment, which the U.S. Supreme Court uphheld.
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As is always the case, Marshall places his personal prejudice and bigotry over the U.S. Constitution and the federal laws governing the military. His idiocy may play well amongst the lobotomized Tea Party set, but in a state wide election for U.S. Senate, he's proven himself to be just as nutty as Christine O'Donnell and Sharron Angle.

Tuesday Male Beauty

Gay-Bashing Navy Video Producer Likely to See Career End

The Virginian Pilot is reporting that while no decision has yet been made, Captain Owen Honors - the man behind raunchy and anti-gay videos made and shown aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise - will likely his lose his position as commander of the aircraft carrier Enterprise, and military experts said his Navy career is almost certainly over. One question not addressed is what should/will happen to the admirals who almost certainly were aware of the videos and allowed them to continue. The Christianists are claiming that gays serving openly in the military will result in perversion, but as Honors has shown, the all too common frat boy mentality of straights is not insignificant problem. I suspect gays would do far less to undermine decorum that the good Captain Honors has done. Both Honors and his superiors need to be held to account for the outrageous conduct that went on apparently for quite some time - despite the support coming from some who believe bashing and ridiculing others is perfectly fine. Here are highlights from the Pilot's story:
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The Virginian-Pilot reported Saturday that during his tenure as second-in-command aboard the Norfolk-based carrier, Honors produced and broadcast for the crew a series of short videos that included sexual jokes, subordinates parading in drag, anti-gay remarks, and sailors pretending to masturbate and shower together.
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The newspaper published an edited version of one of the videos on its website over the weekend. Since then, the video has been broadcast by numerous national and international media outlets. While some have criticized Honors since the videos became public, others - especially retired and active-duty sailors - have rallied in his support.
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U.S. Fleet Forces Command has launched an investigation into the videos. Other media outlets were reporting late Monday that Honors could be relieved of command as soon as today, but the Navy said no official call had been made. Military experts said it's unlikely Honors will stay, given that officers have been removed for far less in the past.
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"This is very serious," said Eugene Fidell, a law professor at Yale University and president of the National Institute of Military Justice. "After watching the videos, I don't see how he could stay. He runs a warship, not a fraternity house."
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The Enterprise and its 6,000 sailors and Marines are slated to deploy overseas this month. "Especially given the deployment, I expect he'll be removed sooner rather than later," Fidell said. The Navy hasn't announced plans to delay the deployment, and Fidell doubts it will. "They'll put someone else in his place and they'll go," he said. Honors will probably face a mast, or a Navy disciplinary hearing before an admiral, before being forced to retire, Fidell said. Honors' rank may be reduced, he added.
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Honors has not responded to requests for an interview. Neither has the Enterprise's then-commanding officer, Larry Rice, now a rear admiral assigned to the Norfolk-based Joint Forces Command. Rear Adm. Raymond Spicer and Vice Adm. Daniel Holloway, who commanded the Enterprise carrier strike group during Honors' time as XO, could not be reached.

Obama DOJ Seeks Hold on Log Cabin DADT Lawsuit Appeal

While the legislation to repeal DADT has been signed into law, I for one believe that the appeal in Log Cabin Republicans v. United States needs to proceed. Candidly, I still have ZERO confidence in this White House and/or the powers that be at the Pentagon. We need a court ruling declaring DADT unconstitutional so that no games can be played with repealed moving forward and so that some GOP controlled Congress cannot reimpose anti-gay restrictions. Thus, I hope the Ninth Circuit ignores the request of Obama's Department of Justice. For far too long, LGBT service members have been at the mercy of the legislative whims of legislators enshrining their own religious based bigotry into the nation's laws. The DOJ filing can be found here. Chris Geidner looks at the situation at Metro Weekly and here are some highlights:
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One week after President Barack Obama signed the Don't Ask, Don't Tell Repeal Act into law, the Department of Justice filed a motion in the Log Cabin Republicans' challenge to DADT to put the case on hold indefinitely to allow the president and Defense Department leadership to take steps detailed in the Repeal Act to end the ban on openly gay, lesbian and bisexual service.
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Although the government's opening brief in the appeal of U.S. District Court Judge Virginia Phillip's ruling is scheduled to be submitted to the Ninth Circuit by Jan. 24, the DOJ lawyers have asked for the case to be put on hold to conserve the court system's resources and out of "respect for determination by the political branches that the orderly process mandated by the Repeal Act is necessary and appropriate to ensure that military effectiveness is preserved."
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LCR's executive director, Clarke Cooper, disagreed in a statement on Jan. 3, saying, "Passage of the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Repeal Act of 2010 was an important step toward open service, but until open service is a reality, our legal battle remains necessary."
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In the filing, DOJ lawyers made clear that DADT remains in effect until then -- as does the enhanced policy that DADT-related discharges need "the personal approval of the Secretary of the Military Department concerned, in coordination with the Under Secretary of Defense for Personnel and Readiness and the General Counsel of the Department of Defense." Should the court grant the motion, the government lawyers state that they are "prepared to advise the Court within 90 days as to the status of the certification process."
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Regardless, it is the possibility of any continued enforcement of DADT in the meantime that has caused concern for LCR and its lawyers.
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For LCR, though, continued delay of the case while the law remains in effect means continued risk to the careers of the gay, lesbian and bisexual servicemembers who are the targets of DADT investigations. LCR is expected to file a motion opposing the government's request.
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Dan Woods, the lead attorney for LCR and a partner at the law firm of White and Case, said in a statement issued on Jan. 3, "I reached out to my counterparts at the Department of Justice and offered to accept a stay if the government would agree to immediately end all discharges under 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell.' The Obama administration refused, and insists on continuing its enforcement of a policy that has been rejected by Congress, the military, and the American people."

More Monday Male Beauty

Father Cutié: Catholic Church Full of Gay Priests

Echoing the charges made by others formerly in the Roman Catholic priesthood, Father Alberto Cutié - now an Episcopalian because of his desire to marry the woman he loved - formerly one of the Catholic Church's most media savvy American priests and hugely popular within the Hispanic community, has blasted the Catholic Church for its pro-celibacy and anti-gay hypocrisy. As Time, the Miami Herald and the Miami News Times are both reporting, Cutié holds no punches in his new book, Dilemma: A Priest's Struggle with Faith and Love (Celebra; 320 pages; $25.95). He likewise, takes the Church hierarchy for its malfeasance in the handling of the sex abuse scandal where pedophile priests were shown far more deference and concern than did the molestation victims. Moral bankruptcy and hypocrisy are truly the main hallmarks of the Vatican and Church leadership. First this from the Miami News Times:
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In the book, Cutié slams the Church as misogynistic, hypocritical on homosexuality, and an "institution that continues to promote old ideas." "There are so many homosexuals, both active and celibate, at all levels of clergy and Church hierarchy that the church would never be able to function if they were really to exclude all of them [gays] from ministry,'' Cutié writes.
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Unsurprisingly, he's critical on the Church's celibacy policy and blames it partially for the string of sex abuse scandals that have plagues the church. He also take direct aim at former Miami Archbishop John Favalora "an aloof CEO'' with a "cold and rigid approach."
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These highlights from the Miami Herald expand on this theme:
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In several passages, Cutié blames the church's celibacy policy for the dwindling clergy pool and the child sex-abuse scandals. He also accuses church leaders of being hypocrites and says they tacitly accept secret homosexual and heterosexual relationships among priests but disapproved of his because it became public.
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``There are so many homosexuals, both active and celibate, at all levels of clergy and Church hierarchy that the church would never be able to function if they were really to exclude all of them from ministry,'' Cutié writes. The priest's critiques -- he also expresses anger that many priests are too-quickly ``abandoned to sink or swim'' when accused of sexual crimes -- are not unique. But rare is such a public airing of grievances against the archdiocese by a former insider.
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And then Time has this:
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Cutié just as rightly notes that "there are much bigger problems in the church" than his otherwise healthy relationship with a consenting adult. Cutié's tell-all saves its harshest censure not for the gossip rags (which he all but thanks for outing him) but for the Catholic hierarchy's retro hypocrisies — especially celibacy, which he posits, based on a flood of letters he's since received from priests, is a promise broken by many if not most clerics (some promiscuously) as they combat the loneliness it can breed. The church is "disconnected from the very people it was meant to serve," he writes, and it acted more distressed by his peccadillo than by "the truly criminal, outrageous and blatantly immoral behavior" of pedophile priests.