Gay Gov.: Wife's Demands Excessive

Jim McGreevey had better hope that he does not get a gay-hating judge. Otherwise his ex-wife may get the whole store whether or not he can afford it. Here is a part of 365gay.com's coverage (http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/09/091507mcg.htm):

(Trenton, New Jersey) James McGreevey says that he cannot afford the perks he and his estranged wife enjoyed while he was governor, and that she is not entitled to continue to live the lifestyle of a first lady at his expense. McGreevey, who disclosed he was gay while in office, filed court papers Friday responding to Dina Matos McGreevey's demand this week for a bigger monthly support check - $4,000 a month, nearly four times what she now receives. In her filing in Union County Superior Court, Matos McGreevey says she is entitled to live a lifestyle closer to that of first lady than she is now able to afford. (story)

McGreevey does not deny living in a nice house but says he does not own it and stays there with his partner, Australian money manager Mark O'Donnell. In his filing, the former governor says he and Dina mostly lived in apartments while they were married. Even while in the governor's mansion, they used only a small area as their private quarters, he says. "The title does not obligate the first lady to be chauffeured or have bodyguards or any of the security attendant to the title," says McGreevey, noting that his wife chose to receive those perks, paid for by taxpayers.

New Jersey Divorce Wars

I can identify with Former Governor Jim McGreevey (who I find to be a bit of a creep) (http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/09/091307mcg.htm):

(Trenton, New Jersey) The estranged wife of the nation's first openly gay governor wants a judge to increase her monthly support nearly fourfold to $4,000 so she can live a lifestyle closer to that of New Jersey's first lady.

Dina Matos McGreevey said she and the couple's 5-year-old daughter live in a modest 3-bedroom house while her husband, Jim McGreevey, and his male partner live in a lavish 17-room mansion with gardens, according to court papers. "In total, I need $11,162 per month to meet my expenses," she told the judge. "This lifestyle by no means approximates the lifestyle which plaintiff enjoys, much less the lifestyle we enjoyed while plaintiff was governor."

Alimony Fuels Latest McGreevey Divorce Battle - Ex-first Lady Reportedly Seeks $56,000 a Month in Support

I am no fan of Former Gov. McGeevey- all his sordid hook ups, etc. were inexcusable - but his estranged wife sure isn't living in reality if these demands are accurate. That equates to $672,000 a year. Hell hate no fury like a woman scorned, that is for sure. Especially if scorned for another man. Here are a few highlights from a Star-Ledger story (http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/jersey/index.ssf?/base/news-7/1185944279217440.xml&coll=1):

The bitter divorce case between former Gov. James E. McGreevey and his estranged wife took another angry turn yesterday, with lawyers for the warring couple sparring over the amount of support Dina Matos McGreevey is seeking.

McGreevey's lawyer, Matthew Piermatti II, touched off the latest dispute, saying the former first lady wanted $56,000 a month in alimony and other support to "continue in the lifestyle" to which she had grown accustomed in the governor's mansion.

The exchange came shortly after the Superior Court judge presiding over the divorce urged the McGreeveys to settle the case, citing the financial and emotional toll it might cause. "You folks do not have the money to try this case to conclusion," the judge, Karen Cassidy, told the pair, who did not speak during the hearing and who barely acknowledged each other. "Emotion should not drive this case. Anger should not drive this case."

But whether based on emotion or legal strategy, the venom has been flowing for months in legal papers. Matos McGreevey claims her husband used her like a political prop, marrying her to conceal his homosexuality, and calls him a disinterested and irresponsible father who exposed the couple's 5-year-old daughter, Jacqueline, to lurid art.

I certainly wish that Ms. McGreevey would not try to use their daughter as a weapon against him nonetheless. It is sad what mothers will do to their children trying to wound the former spouse.

Hell Hath No Furry Like the Straight Spouse

Having come out of the closet myself much later in life after being married and having three children, on one measure I can identify with the situation in the increasingly hostile McGreevey divorce case of former Gov. McGreevey: (see: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-%20yn/content/article/2007/04/28/AR2007042800205.html) even though I in no way condone the former governor’s apparent sleeping around and sleazy truck stop sex trysts while married. It is very hard to get an estranged wife to accept that you did not marry her or come out of the closet simply to hurt her or destroy her otherwise pleasant life.

My own divorce – which I am attempting to finalize after over four years of separation – is increasingly nasty and my estranged wife seems to want nothing more than to punish me for the rest of my life for “what I did to her.” Meanwhile, she forgets that she is the one that gave me the ultimatum to either "go back in the closet and never come out, or move out." I doubt she will ever believed that I never set out or intended to hurt her. Nor, I guess can anyone who has not been in the closet and in extreme denial for many, many years appreciate what religious based bigotry and societal judgments did to me. It has taken time to finally put all the religious based self-hate and feelings of guilt behind me (I will post again describing the process). I continue to hope that in my own divorce case my, estranged spouse will eventually opt for the comments of the judge hearing the McGreevey case:

“ELIZABETH, N.J. -- A judge handling the contentious divorce of the nation's first openly gay governor and his estranged wife urged them on Friday to use "common sense" during their split. Judge Karen Cassidy also called former Gov. James E. McGreevey's sexual orientation insignificant to the case.”

Fortunately, even here in Norfolk, two judges have said that my sexual orientation is insignificant to the case each time my estranged wife’s attorney has attempted to play the gay card. The saddest thing is that for now, two of my children (all of my children are now over 18) are not even speaking to me because of the poison they hear from their mother. Fortunately, my youngest child seems to be coming around. Despite the hurt I have received from my children, they continue to be one of my greatest joys and a source of immense pride.