Pete Buttigieg Lasting Impact for Kids Who Are Different

For many in the LGBT community Pete Buttigeg's decision to end his presidential campaign was bitter sweat.  While his reasoning to withdraw made sense, to see the first openly gay presidential candidate to achieve a high level of success to end his campaign still hurt.  That said, Buttigieg has done an amazing job in setting an example for LGBT youth and others deemed "different" by mainstream society. In fact, Buttigieg made some moving statements which can be found here.  One can only hope that across America LGBT youth be they in rural red states or in reactionary family clinging to religious based ignorance will take hope from "mayor Pete's" example.  I am from and older generation that faced job loss and endless quantities of self-hate, so I hope Pete Buttigieg's example will help many see a positive future despite short term travails.  The Advocate looks at Pete's amazing example.  Here are highlights:

History-making candidate Pete Buttigieg ended his presidential campaign Sunday afternoon. Shortly after, he delivered a speech in his hometown of South Bend, Ind. in which he spoke about the impact of becoming the first gay candidate to get as far as he did in a race for the presidency. 

"We sent a message to every kid out there wondering if whatever marks them out as different means they are somehow destined to be less than, someone who once felt that exact same way can become a leading American presidential candidate with his husband at his side," Buttigieg said to a cheering crowd in a speech that followed an embrace and a kiss with his husband Chasten Buttigieg. 

The move to drop out came after finishing fourth in the South Carolina primary, which overwhelmingly went to Joe Biden. 

"The truth is the path has narrowed to a close," Buttigieg told the crowd in South Bend. "Therefore, it's time for him to step aside." 

As one who was racked by self-hate for many years while in the closet and who had two serious suicide attempts along the path of my coming out journey, I hope that Pete Buttigieg's example will save many LGBT youth and others from experiencing the self loathing and at times hopelessness that I and others felt.  Pete will always be a hero to me. As long time LGBT activist Evan Wolfson said. “Americans responded to these urgently needed qualities, and to Pete’s demonstration that gay people can be just as talented, just as effective, and just as patriotic as anyone."

The 2016 HP Pride Launch Event - Changing Hearts and Minds

The husband and I attended the HR Pride 2016 launch event this afternoon which works to raises funds for the June 18, 2016, Pride fest Event in Town Point Park on the downtown Norfolk waterfront.  The event has transformed dramatically since I was first on the HR Pride board of directors some years ago. The launch party has been equally transformed and this year was a standing room only event at the East Beach Pool/Club House hosted  by Lt. Governor Ralph Northam and his wonderful wife Pam.  The number of politicos in attendance has likewise increased dramatically and GOP House of Delegates member Scott Taylor was in attendance, demonstrating that a least some Republicans are waking up to the reality that an all welcoming Virginia is good for business. 

Perhaps the most surprising sponsors who pledged financial support were (i) Newport News Shipbuilding and WHRO who joined Decorum Furniture at the presenting sponsor level, and (ii) the Central Intelligence Agency - that's right, the CIA - which was a well into the 4 digit sponsor.  Other surprising sponsors were the City of Norfolk and two competing mayoral candidates. I lost track in the amount pledged today, but suffice it to say it was far in excess of $125,000.00.  As we have done for the last number of years, the husband and I are again sponsors of this amazing event which has become the largest outdoor festival in Norfolk after Harborfest.

Thirteen year ago when I attended my first "out in the Park" event it consisted of a few hundred people tucked out of sight in the back of one of Norfolk's city parks.  Now the event involves close to 20,000 attendees and the politicians - at least on the Democrat side of the aisle - who acted as if the LGBT community was radioactive, cannot go far enough to demonstrate their support for the LGBT community and LGBT equality under the civil laws. It has been a phenomenal sea change.

Sadly, the Virginia GOP continues to prostitute itself to the Christofascists and hate merchants at The Family Foundations and strives to send a worldwide message that Virginia is welcoming to only right wing extremists and modern day Pharisees.  Today's event underscored that the Virginia GOP is going to find itself resoundingly on the wrong side of history and, if we are lucky, politically irrelevant.  

GOP Del. Scott Taylor and Democrat Sen. Lynnwood Lewis

Congressman Bobby Scott

Lt. Governor Ralph Northam

Hillary Clinton Looks to the Future in Pride Statement

As the Republican presidential candidates, both announced and unannounced, seemingly compete to see who can most denigrate LGBT Americans and most thoroughly prostitute themselves to the Christofascists, Hillary Clinton has released a statement recognizing Pride Month which looks to the future and the further battles to be won.  Of her formally announced competitors, none has as yet released any statement recognizing pride month.  The Washington Blade has details.  Here are highlights:

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said Monday past advances made by the LGBT community should be recognized during Pride celebrations this month, but noted that more work remains.

Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton said Monday past advances made by the LGBT community should be recognized during Pride celebrations this month, but noted that more work remains.

In an exclusive statement to the Washington Blade, the former secretary of state recognized June as Pride month, calling for a rededication to complete the work of improving the lives of people everywhere.

“Each June, we honor the contributions of the LGBTQ community and proudly reaffirm our commitment to ensuring that every member of the American family can live, work, and marry the person they love without enduring discrimination or prejudice,” Clinton said. “As we celebrate the hard-fought progress that has been made toward advancing the rights of LGBTQ Americans, we must also recognize that this work is far from finished. I hope that each and every one of us will dedicate ourselves to building a future in which every person can live in dignity, free from violence or fear, free to be themselves, free to live up to their God-given potential no matter where they live or who they are — this month and every month.”

Clinton made the statement on the same day she issued a message via Twitter hinting that, like many LGBT Americans, she’s awaiting good news from the Supreme Court on same-sex marriage. This month, justices are expected to issue a decision on whether same-sex couples have a right to marry nationwide.

In an exclusive statement to the Washington Blade, the former secretary of state recognized June as Pride month, calling for a rededication to complete the work of improving the lives of people everywhere.

Clinton made the statement on the same day she issued a message via Twitter hinting that, like many LGBT Americans, she’s awaiting good news from the Supreme Court on same-sex marriage. This month, justices are expected to issue a decision on whether same-sex couples have a right to marry nationwide.

As of the time of this posting, neither former Maryland Gov. Martin O’Malley nor U.S. Sen. Bernard Sanders (I-Vt.) — other Democratic candidates in the race — had issued statements this year recognizing June as Pride month, nor had any of the Republican presidential candidates.

Clinton, who enjoys considerable support in the LGBT community, issued the statement shortly after calling on the Supreme Court to issue a nationwide ruling in favor of same-sex marriage. She’s also spoken out against religious freedom measures in Indiana and Arkansas seen to enable discrimination against LGBT people.

2015 Equality Virginia Commonwealth Dinner

Last night the husband and I attended the 12th Annual Commonwealth Dinner, the largest fundraiser of the year for Equality Virginia, and one of the largest gathering of activists and their supporters in the state each year.   We drove up yesterday and had lunch with a friend and his boyfriend at a great restaurant on West Cary Street, before relaxing at the home of a friend (she was out of town and loan us use of her home in the historic Fan District - see image above) before dressing for the event which was held at the Richmond Convention Center.  The event as always was great fun and we saw many friends that we often see once a year at the event.  There was a large contingent from Hampton Roads as is always the case.  We also had the opportunity to chat with politicians we know, including the Lt. Governor, Ralph Northam, Attorney General Mark Herring and Congressman Bobby Scott.  I also had a chance to talk with U.S. Senator Tim Kaine. Here are some photos:

Dressed up and headed to the Dinner

Lt. Governor Ralph Northam

The husband and Mark Herring

We ended the evening at an LGBT bar called Babe's in Carytown.  I could see us living in the Fan area and the West Cary Street eateries and shops are wonderful.  Richmond is truly a fun place to visit and there is so much history if one is into that (which we are).  One advantage that Richmond has over Hampton Roads is that it is one central city as opposed to seven splintered cities that rarely cooperate for the larger good of the region. 

Carytown

Reflections on The EV Commonwealth Dinner

Yours truly and Mark Herring

Last night's Commonwealth Dinner was quite a gala affair and as always a great deal of fun.  Hampton Roads was well represented and we had plenty of friends with whom to share the festivities.  And then there were all the political types in attendance.  As were the four plaintiffs in Bostic v. Rainey. As were Jonathan Capehart of the Washington Post (who I had the fun of chatting with) and Laverne Cox.  U.S. Senator Mark Warner gave a rousing speech, but perhaps the biggest round of applause went to Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring, a hero to many LGBT Virginians.  The Washington Blade has a recap of some of the evening:

Virginia Attorney General Mark Herring on Saturday said the same-sex couples who are challenging the commonwealth’s constitutional amendment that defines marriage as between a man and a woman are not asking for “special treatment.”

“They’re not asking for special privileges,” he said during the annual Equality Virginia Commonwealth Dinner at the Greater Richmond Convention Center that Jonathan Capehart of the Washington Post emceed and during which Laverne Cox of “Orange is the New Black” delivered the keynote address. “They’re just asking to be treated fairly and equally.”

Herring – who announced in January shortly after taking office that he would not defend the marriage amendment that Virginia voters approved in 2006 – said one of the “great missions of attorney general is the pursuit of justice.” He told the more than 1,000 people who attended the Equality Virginia dinner he thought about what he described as the importance of the commonwealth’s position on the issue before U.S. District Judge Arenda L. Wright Allen in February heard oral arguments in a lawsuit challenging the state’s same-sex marriage ban that Timothy Bostic and Tony London of Norfolk and Carol Schall and Mary Townley of Chesterfield filed last year.

“We as Virginians have so much to be proud of in our long history, but the truth is there have been times when courageous Virginians were leading the way on civil rights and a lot of elected officials, including the attorney general were standing in the way,” said Herring, referring to former Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli who opposes marriage rights for same-sex couples. “I was determined not to let the injustice of Virginia’s position in those past cases happen this time. This time the commonwealth, speaking through it’s attorney general, would stand up to protect for those individuals and all its people fundamental rights guaranteed by the constitution.”

“We still have a long way to go and a lot of hard work lies ahead of us.” said Herring. “Let’s keep working together to make sure that Virginia’s on the right side of the law and let’s keep working together to make sure Virginia’s on the right side of history.”

 It was indeed a glittering evening.  Here are some additional photos:

Me, Mark Herring and the boyfriend

Lt. Governor Northam and his wonderful wife

Some of the Norfolk crowd

This morning we are headed to the always fun and outrageous "drag brunch" at Godfrey's a few blocks from our hotel.

Richmond Bound for the Commonwealth Dinner

We have the house/dog sitter lined up as we get ready this morning to drive up to Richmond for the 11th Annual Equality Virginia "Commonwealth Dinner" this evening.  The event is Equality Virginia's largest fund raiser and has become quite a political event given the number of elected officials - sadly, almost all Democrats - who attend.  I suspect once again, we will have U.S. Senators, members of Congress and a host of other members of the General Assembly and down the line in attendance.  It is always a fun event and it is one time each year when activists and allies from across the state get to interact.  The corporate sponsors are quite impressive and Republicans would do well to check them out here (scroll down) so that they know who their anti-gay policies may be alienating.

This year is a special treat - last November at the Legends Gala, the boyfriend was the high bidder on a silent auction package for tonight's event provided by Tysinger Motors that included  2 tickets to the dinner, a hotel room for the night, and use of a 2014 Mercedes E350.  We picked up the car yesterday, and it is amazing:

 

Sadly, we will not be buying one any time soon!  If any reader are at the event, I hope you will say "hello" if you see us!

Hampton Roads Braces for Winter Storm

As noted in the prior post, our trip to Richmond for Equality Virginia's "Day of Action" was cut short due to a winter storm pushing up from the southwest hugging the coast.  I had really hoped to attend the legislative reception this evening - I have attended before - which is a great opportunity to talk with legislators over a cocktail (or two).  The image above shows predicted snow falls which for many areas of the country would be a non-event.  But with little snow removal equipment - Virginia Beach which covers a land area of 249 square miles and has a population of 437,000 has 30 trucks/plows total - a heavy snowfall creates chaos.  At the moment we have roughly 2" on the ground in Hampton and it is coming down hard.

One of the big concerns in the local LGBT community is whether the storm might delay the hearings in Bostic v. Rainey set for 9:00AM on Thursday morning.  Norfolk is in the area predicted to receive 10-12" of snow by the time the storm passes through mid day tomorrow.  Obviously, we hope the hearing is not delayed so that the Court can proceed with its opinion which hopefully will strike down Virginia's gay marriage ban. 

Weather permitting, the local MMCC Community Church had planned a vigil for tomorrow evening at 6:30 PM in advance of the Hearing in Bostic v. Rainey the following morning, and a gathering on January 30th commencing at 8:30AM.  Details on both events can be found here. 

Equality Virginia Day of Action - 1-28-2014

Posting will be reduced tomorrow because the boyfriend and I will be traveling to Richmond for Equality Virginia's "Day of Action"  - sometimes called "Lobby Day."  On the bus ride up (local LGBT organizations and community members have paid for the charter cost) we will organize, plan, review talking points and pending bills and push for LGBT equality in Virginia.  While in Richmond we will visit legislators, attend a session in the Legislative chambers (8:30pm - 5:00pm) and celebrate at a private reception with our Legislators (5:30pm-7:30pm) and top elected officials.  I suspect that Democrats will welcome us.  The Republicans, not so much. :)  The boyfriend's father will be house sitting/dog sitting.

For those who cannot travel to Richmond, please contact your state senator and delegate and make it clear that you support - no, demand - LGBT equality in Virginia.

Dining Out for Life - April 26, 2012 - Join Us at 99 Main Street

Each year the boyfriend and I act as ambassadors for Access AIDS Care's Dining Out for Life fundraising event. This year, we will be at one of our favorite restaurants on the Peninsula: 99 Main Restaurant in Newport News, Virginia. To check out the menu, go here. For newer readers, here's a description of wonderful work that is done by ACCESS AIDS Care:

ACCESS AIDS Care provides HIV support services to children and adults who are living with HIV/AIDS in Hampton Roads. In addition, ACCESS AIDS Care provides community-wide services such as HIV testing and education to the larger community.

List of Services through ACCESS AIDS Care:

• Case Management & OutReach
• Education on Safer Sex
• Healthy Relationships & Healthy Living
• d-UP
• The LGBT Center

If you cannot join us at 99 Main, consider dining out at one of the other participating restaurants (all of which are giving 25% of the night's proceeds to ACCESS AIDS Care. This year, close top 80 restaurants are participating and offer up virtually every type of food selections that one might desire. (A complete list of this year's participating restaurants across Hampton Roads can be found HERE.) I hope you will support this wonderful cause on April 26, 2012.

Goodbye 2011 - Year End Reflections

This time of year always leaves me feeling inexplicably sad. I guess it's a mix of sadness for what was lost in the past year and the prospect of uncertainty in the coming year. A lot has happened in 2011, both for gay rights and in my life. Here's some brief reflections on 2011:

January began 2011 in the most sad and harsh way for me: I lost my mother on January 5th. We had known that she was failing and she had needed to move in with one of my sisters in July, 2010. None of us, however, expected her to go so suddenly. It is as if she knew what was coming in terms of the likelihood of nursing home care and said "no thank you." On January1, 2011, I saw my mom happy and alert for the last time. A mere four days later she was gone. She will never be forgotten. I want to extend a sincere thank you to readers who have made contributions to the scholarship endowment. It has meant so much to me.

Later in the year, the Boyfriend and I made our annual pilgrimage to Key West and we had a wonderful time, even if my mother's loss and some of the family drama haunted me at times. The photo below was taken at Lattitudes at Sunset Key - part of the Westin Hotel property - which I recommend highly for lunch (with cocktails, of course). I will always be grateful to the Boyfriend for introducing me to Key West and taking me at his expense went I was in a financial time of trouble.

In April, 2011, working with the Hampton Roads Community Foundation and with the blessing of HRBOR, I established the George D. and Marion Phelps Hamar/HRBOR scholarship to aid graduating LGBT high school seniors (April also marked the point where I was able to pay my former wife the balance of what I owed her under the less than gay-friendly final divorce decree that was entered against me by a judge who thought that being gay was a "choice"). I was very blessed by the fact that my parents never wavered in their love and support of me when I came out of the closet after 37 years of torment and self-hate. Too many LGBT youths do not have such loving and loyal parents and the scholarship was my way of both honoring my parents and hopefully making a difference in the lives of young LGBT individuals over the future years.

In May, one of my nieces got married and we experienced a family reconciliation after the drama that had immediately followed my mother's death. The boyfriend's gift was to do the entire wedding party's hair (OK, all the women) and that of my other sister. It was a great day and a beautiful event on the beach in the Sandbridge area of Virginia Beach.

June saw the largest Out in the Park ever with estimates of up to 17,000 people at downtown Norfolk's Town Point Park. The Boyfriend and I were sponsors and were thrilled with the huge success of the event. Out in the Park 2012 will return to downtown Norfolk and as a member of the Hampton Roads Pride board of directors, my efforts will be aimed at making the event in 2012 even bigger and better (the video at the link shows the 2012 launch party).

July was an emotional time as my oldest daughter headed west to Olympia, Washington, to join her fiance. Her going away party marked the first time that my former wife (pictured below with my two daughters) and I were at the same social event, and happily, the event went very well. My former wife has a new significant other in her life and I wish them much happiness. I hope that as time goes by we can build upon the civil experience and be good parents working in tandem for my three children.

August was not kind as the Boyfriend and I suffered the effects of Hurricane Irene which swept through the Hampton Roads area at extreme high tide and once again subjected our home to flooding, albeit not as bad a situation as it might have been because of the things we had done in the wake of the Nor'Ida storm of 2009. One of the things we are looking to do in 2012 is to add a third floor to the house so that all of the main living area can be moved out of the potential flood zone. If we can pull it off, the first floor will remain largely as is to be used as an entertainment area for larger events.

In September, we made our usual Bay Days Weekend trip to New York City and once again enjoyed the restaurants and things to do. We also saw "Priscilla Queen of the Desert" and had a nice visit with my niece and her boyfriend. Later, we so the long overdue demise of Don't Ask, Don't Tell - a case where religious based discrimination what been written into the nation's laws. Hopefully, 2012 may see the demise of DOMA.

October was a month blessed by the western Mediterranean cruise that I took the Boyfriend on as a "thank you" for standing by me through all of the drama of 2009, including a desperate suicide attempt when the continuing divorce drama got the best of me. He is a true sweetheart - at least most of the time - and he has made such a huge positive difference in my life. We loved Barcelona and the ports we visited in France and Italy before returning to Barcelona.

November brought Thanksgiving which I shared with the Boyfriend's family and my youngest daughter (pictured below) and her boyfriend. Throughout my coming out saga, she was always a lifeline to me and I treasure her more than she will ever know. I truly might not have made it without her love and support.

December brought the Christmas holidays and a wonderful visit with my oldest daughter who was back east visiting. She's doing well in her new career and her boyfriend (they are pictured below) is a delight. Spending some time with her over the holidays made the season for me. I am so very, very proud of her. I was also lucky enough to have some great conversations with my son who remained out west for the holidays (search "Appalachian Trail" to see photos of his amazing adventure in 2008). My children and the Boyfriend are the greatest treasures in my life.

It's definitely been a year of great sorrow, but also of great happiness. Throughout it all, I've enjoyed the love of the Boyfriend (pictured below) and the moral support from my wonderful readers and my friends in the LGBT blogosphere. Many of you will never know how much your loyalty and words of comfort and support have meant to me. I wish all of you health and much happiness in 2012.

Want to Have Cocktails with John Waters?

As I have noted before in past posts, one of my activism activities is serving on the Gay Cultural Studies Board for Old Dominion University ("ODU") in Norfolk, Virginia. The Board's goal is to raise an endowment to fund a permanent post doctoral position in LGBT studies. The individual holding the position will not only teach courses within the LGBT studies subject area but will also work on an interdisciplinary manner with other departments at ODU and serve as a liaison to the larger community. As part of the Advisory Board's fund raising effort, we will be hosting a cocktail reception with John Waters following his presentation at ODU on November 10, 2011. Here are details (NOTE: the number of tickets to the cocktail reception is limited, so act promptly if your are interested in attending):

The Gay Cultural Studies Advisory Board of

Old Dominion University

invites you for

Cocktails with John Waters

Renowned film maker, actor, and writer

at the home of

Fred Bayersdorfer and John Wills

1202 Graydon Avenue, Norfolk

Thursday, November 10, 2011

9:30 pm Following Mr. Waters’ appearance at the ODU Presents Series

Minimum donation: $150.00

RSVP by October 30 to Cathy Craft (757) 683-4468 or ccraft@odu.edu

Limited to 40 guests

More Information on ODU Presents and John Water's appearance at ODU can be found here.

Lady Gaga Attends Obama Fundraising and Raises Issue of Bullying

Whether or not one agrees with all of her views and/or her tactics, Lady Gaga has been and continues to be a huge advocate of LGBT equality and she isn't afraid to use her fame or fortune to proverbially put her money where her mouth is. I was very impressed with her statements at the National Equality March in October 2009 when I first got to see her from a close perspective thanks to my Bilerico Project press credentials. Since then, she's spoken out on DADT repeal and other issues including anti-gay bullying. With the influence she welds with younger individuals, I applaud her continued efforts to advance our cause. Her most recent foray was an Obama fundraiser where she apparently spent $38,500 for a ticket where she'd be in close proximity to the president. ABC News has some details (Note: Some of the comments on the story by freepers are disturbing and demonstrate that many in the deranged far right want it to remain open season on LGBT students and citizens):

Lady Gaga was among the guests at a $35,800 per couple Obama fundraiser tonight at the home of Facebook’s Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg and David Goldberg in Atherton, Calif.

At the event, which took place under a tent in Sandberg’s yard, Gaga reportedly wore a black dress scalloped high plunge back and high heels. Her blond hair was upswept, with black flowers and black veil sweeping down back of hair.

According to a source present in the tent fundraiser, Gaga asked a question during the Q&A. She first thanked the president for what he’s accomplished, then read from what she said was a letter from a fan about the suicide of another fan who had been subjected to bullying.

Before the dinner, Gaga came through the photo line with her manager. She and Obama reportedly spoke for two minutes, with many others in the room.

Gaga’s attendance at the fundraising event comes after the singer tweeted that she would be meeting the president and intended to discuss youth bullying with him in relation to the suicide of Jamey Rodemeyer, the 14-year-old student who took his own life last week after years of bullying.

The Advocate has other details on Lady Gaga's pro-LGBT activism, including these excerpts:

This isn't the singer's first brush with Washington. For example, she spoke at the National Mall ahead of repeal of "don't ask, don't tell," called for repeal of the policy repeatedly, and exchanged tweets with Senate majority leader Harry Reid on the issue.

Gaga had said recently via Twitter that she intended to meet with the president and pledged to talk about the death of Jamey Rodemeyer, a 14-year-old boy who committed suicide after repeated bullying at his school. Rodemeyer, a big fan of Gaga's and self-professed "little monster," was buried this weekend in a "Born This Way" T-shirt.

Gaga dedicated a moving performance of "Hair" to him on Saturday at the I Heart Radio concert in Las Vegas.

Public Comment Period on Virginia Gay Adoption Reopens

The Virginia Board of Social Services has opened a new 30-day comment period during which public comment can be submitted on whether Virginia should allow state-licensed groups to reject prospective adoptive and foster parents because of their sexual orientation. The Christofascists at The Family Foundation will be working in overdrive to flood the Board with anti-gay comments. Thus it is crucial that readers in Virginia take the time to submit comments in support of gay adoption and foster parenting. State licensed groups, many of which receive state funds, should not be given a free rein to engage in religious based bigotry. Comments can be submitted electronically by going to http://www.townhall.virginia.gov, clicking on the public comment forum section and scrolling down to "Minimum Standards for Licensed Private Child-Placing Agencies (DSS)." Our enemies will take the time to submit comments even if the LGBT community does not. Here are more highlights from the Chronicle:

RICHMOND, Va. (AP) — A new public comment period has begun on whether Virginia should allow state-licensed groups to reject prospective adoptive and foster parents because of their sexual orientation.

The Virginia Board of Social Services opened the 30-day comment period Monday.

Last month, advocacy groups asked the board to reopen public comment on regulations approved in April that would strip a ban on discriminating against prospective parents based on sexual orientation, political beliefs, age, physical disability and family status. The board unanimously agreed.

ODU Gay Cultural Studies Invites You to a House Party

The boyfriend and I are hosting a house party in support of the Old Dominion University Gay Cultural Studies endowment effort this Friday at 5:30 PM. Our goal is to fund an endowment that will provide for a permanent post-doctorate position at Old Dominion University ("ODU"). Information on the goals of the effort can be found here. The speaker at the event at our home will be Dr. George D. Greenia, Professor of Hispanic Studies at William and Mary. Dr. Greenia (pictured below) is most famous locally for his pioneering efforts in bringing LGBT programming and organizations to his culturally conservative campus during the Reagan era of the 1980s.

We hope that peninsula readers will try to attend. Here are details:

When: Friday, June 10, 2011 at 5:30 Pm to 7:30 PM

Where: Michael Hamar & Barry Menser's House

To RSVP: Click Here

End The Fear - A Guest Post from South Africa

One of the most amazing things about blogging is the way in which it has allowed me to have contact with people literally from all across the globe. I find it exciting and encouraging to find smart, articulate, sensitive and passionate activists from all corners of the world. A case in point is Ernest Oosthuizen, a 23 year old South African who with his partner (they are pictured at left with Ernest on the left) who want to do their part to end homophobia and the toll of needlessly lost and damaged lives that are too often its fruits.
*
Here are some of Ernest and his partner's goals in their own words: We are working together in laying the foundation for an organization we would love to see blossom one day. It's been an idea in the making for the past 6 months and we're both very passionate. It's called EndTheFear. . . . Our lofty end goal would be to get Toll-free hotlines and counseling for LGBT teens in South Africa. But as of yet, we're still dreaming big and doing what we can with what we have.
*
The following is a guest post written by Ernest. It is followed by a video that he and his partner have put together.
*
End The Fear
*
Bullying and homophobia stretches far beyond just the direct visible act of the word, and many times goes unnoticed by the people not involved. To the person bullied it’s a constant fear; the undertones in conversations, the smirk and jeering eye contact and that knowledge that at any moment you can become a punch line to a “that’s so gay joke”. It’s the silent abuse.
*
Watching the news reports on the vast amount of bullying that goes on, shows something needs to be done. We know above all else that these kids are just the tip of the iceberg. The thing with bullying of this sort is that many times people keep to themselves, hoping not to bring more attention to the issue. So maybe the best way, is to empower the person bullied, saying hang in there, you’re beautiful! There would be nothing sadder than to see another life lost over another’s ignorance and fear.
*
To most people, none of this is new; we’ve all lived with this fear. That is the thing all human beings have in common, we fear rejection, we fear ending up alone, so the Darwinian-like instinct in us want to be “normal” and fit in. In every person this fear lingers.
*
So what is homophobia to me? It is the ultimate fear of homosexuals- the fear that our existence will bring harm. In truth there is nothing threatening about me. I don’t want to hunt, lock up or impose sanctions on the rights of any “straight” person. My existence has no influence on the goings-on of your daily life. Rationally and logically, homophobia makes no sense. The misconceptions are vast, and it all stems from the stagnant and oppressed views of people stuck in the past.
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How do we end homophobia? How do we end the fear? Homophobia is broken whenever people start thinking for themselves, when people ask: “What is evil about it?” It is the liberation of the mind, and change that comes from within. Informing people, bringing change to their outlook.
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Showing people that there's nothing to fear and bringing self-realization from within is our goal. To end homophobia we must end the fear.
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Lt. Dan Choi, GetEQUAL Activist Robin McGehee Invited to "'DADT" Repeal Signing

In the course of my activism, I have been lucky to meet and/or speak with some of those individuals truly on the front lines of the push for LGBT equality. Two such individuals are Dan Choi and Robin McGehee who have been in the forefront of civil disobedience in the successful push to see DADT dispatched to the trash heap of history. Both deservedly have been invited to the signing of the DADT repeal law by President Obama which will happen tomorrow according to USA Today:
*
President Obama is likely to sign the repeal of the military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy Wednesday, and may hold a news conference this week, spokesman Robert Gibbs said today.

*Though the schedule is being finalized, Gibbs said he expects a formal signing ceremony Wednesday morning to sign the "don't ask, don't tell" repeal. "I think there are a lot of people who are interested in attending," Gibbs said. Gibbs said White House and Pentagon lawyers are working on "implementation and legal issues" associated with lifting the ban on gays in the military.
*
Since there is much that yet needs to be done before LGBT service members can serve without fear of discharge, Dan Choi is planning on keeping the pressure on Obama to finalize the repeal process. Here's part of a statement Dan made at Huffington Post:
*
President Obama, you are not off the hook. The compromise bill passed today puts the moral imperative squarely on your desk. Sign an executive order instituting a full non-discrimination policy throughout the military. If you do not, if you drag your feet and politicize this with your theoretical calculations as you have these past two years, you will be guilty of abetting those who loudly proclaim homophobia from their platforms and pulpits. Provide them no shelter or safe haven. Institute justice now.
*
We stand on the shoulders of many who have come before us, from Air Force Technical Sergeant Leonard Matlovich to our present day heroes. We owe it to them to continue fighting. Our loudness does not distract but enhances the fight. Our direct action puts wind in the sails of lobbyists and political elites who do our bidding on the inside. We are one team with one goal: Equality in our lifetime. I do not intend to waver or retreat in pursuit of this new life purpose and mission, and neither should any American who loves justice.

HRC to Move Into [Desecrate] Harvey Milk's Camera Store

Almost as worthless and disingenuous as the Liar-in-Chief when it comes to the betrayal of rank and file LGBT Americans, in my opinion, are the self-important boot lickers at HRC - e.g., Joe Solomnese - who are more worried about "access" and remaining on the cocktail circuit invite list than advancing the rights of the rest of us. EVERY time I have reached out to HRC for help on a gay rights issue, they have been more worried about "offending" this politician or that politician than about helping a LGBT citizen who was screwed over by the bigoted system. Now, HRC has announced that it will be moving into the location of Harvey Milk's camera store in San Francisco. I view the move as something obscene given HRC's continued spinelessness and unwillingness to hold politicians accountable for their lies and continued bigotry. I'm not the only one outraged. Dustin Lance Black, author of the screen play for the movie Milk had this to say:
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"Harvey Milk spent the last years of his life fighting not only for rights for gays and lesbians across the nation, but also against the idea that the only way to achieve those rights is to lobby the government and financially support so-called 'straight allies'.
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For the HRC leadership, which still advocates a piecemeal, wait-and-see approach to try and co-opt and profit from Harvey's legacy is an outrage."

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HRC sucks up a disproportionate amount of LGBT activism dollars, grossly overpays its leadership, and delivers little or nothing to average LGBT Americans. Donations to HRC ought to be redirected to organizations Lambda Legal and AFER that are actually doing something win equality for LGBT citizens. HRC's main activity seems to be providing political cover for do nothing "allies" such as the current occupant of the White House.

Activism Weekend - And Things to Do to Move Us Forward

The boyfriend and I are definitely in activism and fundraiser mode this weekend. Last night we hosted 60+ folks at our home to raise funds for ACCESS AIDS Care, a local non-profit that provides services to individuals dealing with AIDS/HIV as well as their families. The evening was a success, although I was up until 2:00 AM washing dishes and cleaning up. Tonight we are off to the Equality Virginia Legends Gala fundraiser - EV's second largest fundraiser of the year and always a lot of fun. The individual honorees are good friends of ours, and the first organization to receive the Legends honor is St. Mark's Episcopal Church located in Hampton, Virginia. Getting involved in LGBT organizations has been a huge means to rebuild my social network and social life after coming out and see so many of my supposed friends act as if I was either a leper or just plain invisible. For those embarking on a coming out journey in mid-life, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to get involved in LGBT community organizations. The years I have been a member of the Legends planning committee have made a huge difference in my circle of friends.

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Of course, there's another reason to become involved besides making friends and building a social network: doing good for others and often at the same time moving LGBT rights and equality forward. As fellow Bilerico contributor Austen Crowder noted, in the wake of Tuesday's elections, we need to take care of our own"
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Volunteer your time and your money to organizations working within your local community - they often get the short end of the stick. You can take your pick of organizations, as not everybody is political. There are youth centers that are always looking for content, HIV charities in need of help, community education centers in need of speakers. The world is not a nice place for queer people and these organizations help us navigate the law, access needed care, and network with friendly businesses and organizations. It's not sexy work by any stretch of the imagination, but giving your time to these places will have a direct effect on your local community.
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Are they going to help the political quest for equality? In most places, no. Just because we are fighting for future political victories doesn't mean we can ignore the needs of our community in the here and now.

Tomorrow, November 4th Is the Last Day To Buy Legends Tickets

Ticket sales for the 2010 Legends Gala close at 5:00 PM tomorrow. If local readers have not bought your tickets, go to the Equality Virginia website here and do so. It is going to be a wonderful event and the boyfriend and I hope to see you there. P.S. There is a sponsored open bar cocktail hour as well as wonderful food.

November 6th, 2010 Renaissance Hotel, Portsmouth, Virginia
5PM - 6PM - Pre-Event Cocktail Party in private VIP room

6PM - 1AM - Main Masquerade Casino Event

Click here to get your tickets now!
2010 Steering Committee
Felix Borges – Chair

Carlton Hardy – Community Relations & Nomination Chair

Shannon Bowman – Sponsorship & Marketing Chair

Maurice Roebuck – Logistics Chair

Mark Board, Richard Caden, Edward Cassidy, Cynthia Cutler, Michael Hamar, Claus Ihlemann
Barry Kavy, Beedee McMillian, Cheryl Scott ,Ann Vernon, Mike Whitehurst

Buy Tickets Now and Save - 2010 Legends Masquerade Casino Event

The early bird special prices for tickets ends this week. For local readers and those who will be in the Norfolk area on November 6, 20101, if you buy your tickets now, you can save money. This year's Equality Virginia Legends Gala - the area's premier formal event - is going to be a wonderful event and the proceeds will go to a good cause. God knows, we need as much funding for advocacy as possible here in Virginia with Ken "Kookinelli" Cuccinelli as Attorney General and the toxic Family Foundation relentlessly pushing its anti-gay theocratic agenda. This years individual honorees are some of my longest friends in the local LGBT community and the community organization honoree, St. Mark's Episcopal Church has been in the forefront of LGBT acceptance for many years.

November 6th, 2010 Renaissance Hotel, Portsmouth, Virginia

5PM - 6PM - Pre-Event Cocktail Party in private VIP room

6PM - 1AM - Main Masquerade Casino Event

Early Bird Tickets Now Until October 1st (October 3rd)

$100 for One Ticket to the EV Legends Casino Night $120 for EV Legends Casino Night and Pre-Event Cocktail Party

Click here to get your tickets now!

2010 Steering Committee

Felix Borges – Chair

Carlton Hardy – Community Relations & Nomination Chair

Shannon Bowman – Sponsorship & Marketing Chair

Maurice Roebuck – Logistics Chair

Mark Board Richard Caden Edward Cassidy Cynthia Cutler Michael Hamar Claus Ihlemann

Barry Kavy Beedee McMillian Cheryl Scott Ann Vernon Mike Whitehurst