Tom Daley - Bisexuals Versus Gays

Personally, I was please when Tom Daley came out as apparently a bisexual.  His announcement that he was dating a guy but that he still liked girls wasn't so well received by some in the LGBT community who thought that Daley was copping out and avoiding using the gay word.  I think sexuality is fluid and differs from person to person.  True, there are gay men who will use the bisexual label until they can get comfortable with saying they are gay.  But that doesn't apply to all.  Thus, in answer to the question, are there really bisexuals, I would say yes since attraction is a complicated thing.  There are many straights - especially among the homophobes - who think gays are ready to jump in bed with any other male.  That is clearly not so - there are many men I find decidedly NOT attractive - and each of us has their own particular "type" that they find attractive.  And beyond the physical attributes one finds attractive, there is the essential element of personality and "chemistry."  A piece in the New York Times that I bookmarked some days ago looks at the issue Daley ignited:

“Of course I still fancy girls.”

Those six little words, tossed off like a request to please hold the mustard, were among the most deconstructed in Tom Daley’s YouTube video last month, in which the 19-year-old British Olympic diver announced that he was dating a man. 

Leaning against Union Jack pillows, he continued, “But, I mean, right now I’m dating a guy, and I couldn’t be happier.” Mr. Daley’s message was sweet and simple, and gay rights advocates seemed thrilled to welcome an out-and-proud athlete into their ranks. (The cattier comments came later, when the “guy” was reported by numerous tabloids and blogs to be the screenwriter Dustin Lance Black, who is two decades his senior.) 

But the cheers were premature, or at least qualified. Despite the trending Twitter hashtag #TomGayley, Mr. Daley never used the word “gay,” and there was the matter of his still fancying girls. While many commenters embraced the ambiguity (“I don’t care if Tom Daley’s gay or bi or whatever ... He’s still fit,” one tweeted), others raised eyebrows. 

Was it a disclaimer? A cop-out? A ploy to hold on to fans? Was he being greedy, as some joked? Or was he, as the video’s blushing tone suggested, simply caught up in the heady disorientation of first love, a place too intoxicating for labels? 

Whatever the answer, Mr. Daley’s disclosure reignited a fraught conversation within the L.G.B.T. community, having to do with its third letter. Bisexuality, like chronic fatigue syndrome, is often assumed to be imaginary by those on the outside. The stereotypes abound: bisexuals are promiscuous, lying or in denial. They are gay men who can’t yet admit that they are gay, or “lesbians until graduation,” sowing wild oats before they find husbands. 

“The reactions that you’re seeing are classic in terms of people not believing that bisexuality really exists, feeling that it’s a transitional stage or a form of being in the closet,” said Lisa Diamond, a professor at the University of Utah who studies sexual orientation. 

Population-based studies, Dr. Diamond said, indicate that bisexuality is in fact more common than exclusively same-sex attraction, and that female libido is particularly open-ended.

Male bisexuality, by contrast, is more vexed, and much of the skepticism comes from gay men. In the aftermath of Mr. Daley’s announcement, Ann Friedman wrote a post for New York Magazine’s The Cut blog predicting that male bisexuality would become more visible as gender mores evolved. “Traditional definitions of masculinity — which tend to go hand in hand with homophobia — are going through a real shake-up,” Ms. Friedman wrote. “More hetero men are tentatively admitting that they’re turned on by certain sex acts associated with gay men.” 

The gay conservative pundit Andrew Sullivan swiftly countered on his own blog, The Dish, saying, “I suspect, pace Friedman’s dreams, that there will always be far fewer men who transcend traditional sexual categories — because male sexuality is much cruder, simpler and more binary than female.” He called Mr. Daley’s claim about liking girls “a classic bridging mechanism to ease the transition to his real sexual identity. I know because I did it, too.”

Such thinking has irked bisexual advocates, who see bias within gay circles as evidence of “biphobia.” The claim has been lodged repeatedly at the sex columnist Dan Savage. In 2011, the blogger Chris O’Guinn accused Mr. Savage of saying “blatantly hurtful, cruel and insulting things about bisexuals,” including his remark in the documentary “Bi the Way” that “I meet somebody who’s 19 years old who tells me he’s bisexual, and I’m like: ‘Yeah, right, I doubt it. Come back when you’re 29 and we’ll see.’ ”  

[A] follow-up study at Northwestern concluded the opposite: male bisexuality is real. Why the change? Whereas the first study advertised for subjects in gay-oriented publications and included men who identified as gay, straight or bisexual, the second recruited from places catering specifically to bisexuals and selected only those who had seriously dated both men and women. 

Advocates, a touch exasperated, applauded the new results, though some pointed out that physical stimulation is only one ingredient of sexual orientation, which also stems from emotional intimacy.

In Mr. Daley’s case, the difference may be generational. People who have grown up in a more assimilated world may not see the value in labels like “gay” or “bisexual,” when the communities they describe are no longer as marginalized. 

“Among the younger generation, I’ve seen much more openness about bisexuality in both men and women, and often a rejection of all labels,” Dr. Diamond said. “They’re more open to the idea that, ‘Hey, sexuality is complicated, and as long as I know who I want to sleep with it doesn’t matter what I call myself.’ ”

In my own case, it was very hard to get to the point of looking in the mirror and admitting to myself that I was gay.  That said, I clearly knew that it was guys to whom I was really attracted.  Sexuality is complicated and we should not judge others. 

Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton Declare War on International Homophobia

In a move that already has the hate merchants of the professional Christian set - and their boot licking political whores like Rick Perry - hyperventilating and spraying spittle as they rant and rave, Barack Obama issued a memorandum "directing all [United States] agencies engaged abroad to ensure that U.S. diplomacy and foreign assistance promote and protect the human rights of LGBT persons." This was followed by a speech by Secretary of State Clinton that included the following statement: "Wherever you live and whatever the circumstances of your life, whether you are connected to a network of support or feel isolated and vulnerable, please know that you are not alone. People around the globe are working hard to support you and to bring an end to the injustices and dangers you face. That is certainly true for my country. And you have an ally in the United States of America and you have millions of friends among the American people." I have long argued that Christianists want special rights that allow them to ignore and/or trample on the rights of others. They are among the most selfish, hate filled and dangerous element in our society today in terms of threatening constitutional government. They are no different that the threat posed by Islamic extremists except that they base their hatred and intolerance on a different text that was cobbled together and manipulated in eras before modern knowledge existed. The sooner that their version of Christianity is swept from the face of the globe, the better off the world will be.

Here is the full text of Secretary Clinton's remarks via MetroWeekly:

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATE

Office of the Spokesperson

For Immediate Release December 6, 2011
Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton

Remarks in Recognition of International Human Rights Day

December 6, 2011
Palais des Nations
Geneva, Switzerland

SECRETARY CLINTON: Good evening, and let me express my deep honor and pleasure at being here. I want to thank Director General Tokayev and Ms. Wyden along with other ministers, ambassadors, excellencies, and UN partners. This weekend, we will celebrate Human Rights Day, the anniversary of one of the great accomplishments of the last century.

Beginning in 1947, delegates from six continents devoted themselves to drafting a declaration that would enshrine the fundamental rights and freedoms of people everywhere. In the aftermath of World War II, many nations pressed for a statement of this kind to help ensure that we would prevent future atrocities and protect the inherent humanity and dignity of all people. And so the delegates went to work. They discussed, they wrote, they revisited, revised, rewrote, for thousands of hours. And they incorporated suggestions and revisions from governments, organizations, and individuals around the world.

At three o'clock in the morning on December 10th, 1948, after nearly two years of drafting and one last long night of debate, the president of the UN General Assembly called for a vote on the final text. Forty-eight nations voted in favor; eight abstained; none dissented. And the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was adopted. It proclaims a simple, powerful idea: All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. And with the declaration, it was made clear that rights are not conferred by government; they are the birthright of all people. It does not matter what country we live in, who our leaders are, or even who we are. Because we are human, we therefore have rights. And because we have rights, governments are bound to protect them.

In the 63 years since the declaration was adopted, many nations have made great progress in making human rights a human reality. Step by step, barriers that once prevented people from enjoying the full measure of liberty, the full experience of dignity, and the full benefits of humanity have fallen away. In many places, racist laws have been repealed, legal and social practices that relegated women to second-class status have been abolished, the ability of religious minorities to practice their faith freely has been secured.

In most cases, this progress was not easily won. People fought and organized and campaigned in public squares and private spaces to change not only laws, but hearts and minds. And thanks to that work of generations, for millions of individuals whose lives were once narrowed by injustice, they are now able to live more freely and to participate more fully in the political, economic, and social lives of their communities.

Now, there is still, as you all know, much more to be done to secure that commitment, that reality, and progress for all people. Today, I want to talk about the work we have left to do to protect one group of people whose human rights are still denied in too many parts of the world today. In many ways, they are an invisible minority. They are arrested, beaten, terrorized, even executed. Many are treated with contempt and violence by their fellow citizens while authorities empowered to protect them look the other way or, too often, even join in the abuse. They are denied opportunities to work and learn, driven from their homes and countries, and forced to suppress or deny who they are to protect themselves from harm.

I am talking about gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people, human beings born free and given bestowed equality and dignity, who have a right to claim that, which is now one of the remaining human rights challenges of our time. I speak about this subject knowing that my own country's record on human rights for gay people is far from perfect. Until 2003, it was still a crime in parts of our country. Many LGBT Americans have endured violence and harassment in their own lives, and for some, including many young people, bullying and exclusion are daily experiences. So we, like all nations, have more work to do to protect human rights at home.

Now, raising this issue, I know, is sensitive for many people and that the obstacles standing in the way of protecting the human rights of LGBT people rest on deeply held personal, political, cultural, and religious beliefs. So I come here before you with respect, understanding, and humility. Even though progress on this front is not easy, we cannot delay acting. So in that spirit, I want to talk about the difficult and important issues we must address together to reach a global consensus that recognizes the human rights of LGBT citizens everywhere.

The first issue goes to the heart of the matter. Some have suggested that gay rights and human rights are separate and distinct; but, in fact, they are one and the same. Now, of course, 60 years ago, the governments that drafted and passed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights were not thinking about how it applied to the LGBT community. They also weren’t thinking about how it applied to indigenous people or children or people with disabilities or other marginalized groups. Yet in the past 60 years, we have come to recognize that members of these groups are entitled to the full measure of dignity and rights, because, like all people, they share a common humanity.

This recognition did not occur all at once. It evolved over time. And as it did, we understood that we were honoring rights that people always had, rather than creating new or special rights for them. Like being a woman, like being a racial, religious, tribal, or ethnic minority, being LGBT does not make you less human. And that is why gay rights are human rights, and human rights are gay rights.

It is violation of human rights when people are beaten or killed because of their sexual orientation, or because they do not conform to cultural norms about how men and women should look or behave. It is a violation of human rights when governments declare it illegal to be gay, or allow those who harm gay people to go unpunished. It is a violation of human rights when lesbian or transgendered women are subjected to so-called corrective rape, or forcibly subjected to hormone treatments, or when people are murdered after public calls for violence toward gays, or when they are forced to flee their nations and seek asylum in other lands to save their lives. And it is a violation of human rights when life-saving care is withheld from people because they are gay, or equal access to justice is denied to people because they are gay, or public spaces are out of bounds to people because they are gay. No matter what we look like, where we come from, or who we are, we are all equally entitled to our human rights and dignity.

The second issue is a question of whether homosexuality arises from a particular part of the world. Some seem to believe it is a Western phenomenon, and therefore people outside the West have grounds to reject it. Well, in reality, gay people are born into and belong to every society in the world. They are all ages, all races, all faiths; they are doctors and teachers, farmers and bankers, soldiers and athletes; and whether we know it, or whether we acknowledge it, they are our family, our friends, and our neighbors.

Being gay is not a Western invention; it is a human reality. And protecting the human rights of all people, gay or straight, is not something that only Western governments do. South Africa’s constitution, written in the aftermath of Apartheid, protects the equality of all citizens, including gay people. In Colombia and Argentina, the rights of gays are also legally protected. In Nepal, the supreme court has ruled that equal rights apply to LGBT citizens. The Government of Mongolia has committed to pursue new legislation that will tackle anti-gay discrimination.

Now, some worry that protecting the human rights of the LGBT community is a luxury that only wealthy nations can afford. But in fact, in all countries, there are costs to not protecting these rights, in both gay and straight lives lost to disease and violence, and the silencing of voices and views that would strengthen communities, in ideas never pursued by entrepreneurs who happen to be gay. Costs are incurred whenever any group is treated as lesser or the other, whether they are women, racial, or religious minorities, or the LGBT. Former President Mogae of Botswana pointed out recently that for as long as LGBT people are kept in the shadows, there cannot be an effective public health program to tackle HIV and AIDS. Well, that holds true for other challenges as well.

The third, and perhaps most challenging, issue arises when people cite religious or cultural values as a reason to violate or not to protect the human rights of LGBT citizens. This is not unlike the justification offered for violent practices towards women like honor killings, widow burning, or female genital mutilation. Some people still defend those practices as part of a cultural tradition. But violence toward women isn't cultural; it's criminal. Likewise with slavery, what was once justified as sanctioned by God is now properly reviled as an unconscionable violation of human rights.

In each of these cases, we came to learn that no practice or tradition trumps the human rights that belong to all of us. And this holds true for inflicting violence on LGBT people, criminalizing their status or behavior, expelling them from their families and communities, or tacitly or explicitly accepting their killing.

Of course, it bears noting that rarely are cultural and religious traditions and teachings actually in conflict with the protection of human rights. Indeed, our religion and our culture are sources of compassion and inspiration toward our fellow human beings. It was not only those who’ve justified slavery who leaned on religion, it was also those who sought to abolish it. And let us keep in mind that our commitments to protect the freedom of religion and to defend the dignity of LGBT people emanate from a common source. For many of us, religious belief and practice is a vital source of meaning and identity, and fundamental to who we are as people. And likewise, for most of us, the bonds of love and family that we forge are also vital sources of meaning and identity. And caring for others is an expression of what it means to be fully human. It is because the human experience is universal that human rights are universal and cut across all religions and cultures.

The fourth issue is what history teaches us about how we make progress towards rights for all. Progress starts with honest discussion. Now, there are some who say and believe that all gay people are pedophiles, that homosexuality is a disease that can be caught or cured, or that gays recruit others to become gay. Well, these notions are simply not true. They are also unlikely to disappear if those who promote or accept them are dismissed out of hand rather than invited to share their fears and concerns. No one has ever abandoned a belief because he was forced to do so.

Universal human rights include freedom of expression and freedom of belief, even if our words or beliefs denigrate the humanity of others. Yet, while we are each free to believe whatever we choose, we cannot do whatever we choose, not in a world where we protect the human rights of all.

Reaching understanding of these issues takes more than speech. It does take a conversation. In fact, it takes a constellation of conversations in places big and small. And it takes a willingness to see stark differences in belief as a reason to begin the conversation, not to avoid it.

But progress comes from changes in laws. In many places, including my own country, legal protections have preceded, not followed, broader recognition of rights. Laws have a teaching effect. Laws that discriminate validate other kinds of discrimination. Laws that require equal protections reinforce the moral imperative of equality. And practically speaking, it is often the case that laws must change before fears about change dissipate.

Many in my country thought that President Truman was making a grave error when he ordered the racial desegregation of our military. They argued that it would undermine unit cohesion. And it wasn't until he went ahead and did it that we saw how it strengthened our social fabric in ways even the supporters of the policy could not foresee. Likewise, some worried in my country that the repeal of “Don't Ask, Don’t Tell” would have a negative effect on our armed forces. Now, the Marine Corps Commandant, who was one of the strongest voices against the repeal, says that his concerns were unfounded and that the Marines have embraced the change.

Finally, progress comes from being willing to walk a mile in someone else's shoes. We need to ask ourselves, "How would it feel if it were a crime to love the person I love? How would it feel to be discriminated against for something about myself that I cannot change?" This challenge applies to all of us as we reflect upon deeply held beliefs, as we work to embrace tolerance and respect for the dignity of all persons, and as we engage humbly with those with whom we disagree in the hope of creating greater understanding.

A fifth and final question is how we do our part to bring the world to embrace human rights for all people including LGBT people. Yes, LGBT people must help lead this effort, as so many of you are. Their knowledge and experiences are invaluable and their courage inspirational. We know the names of brave LGBT activists who have literally given their lives for this cause, and there are many more whose names we will never know. But often those who are denied rights are least empowered to bring about the changes they seek. Acting alone, minorities can never achieve the majorities necessary for political change.

So when any part of humanity is sidelined, the rest of us cannot sit on the sidelines. Every time a barrier to progress has fallen, it has taken a cooperative effort from those on both sides of the barrier. In the fight for women’s rights, the support of men remains crucial. The fight for racial equality has relied on contributions from people of all races. Combating Islamaphobia or anti-Semitism is a task for people of all faiths. And the same is true with this struggle for equality.

Conversely, when we see denials and abuses of human rights and fail to act, that sends the message to those deniers and abusers that they won’t suffer any consequences for their actions, and so they carry on. But when we do act, we send a powerful moral message. Right here in Geneva, the international community acted this year to strengthen a global consensus around the human rights of LGBT people. At the Human Rights Council in March, 85 countries from all regions supported a statement calling for an end to criminalization and violence against people because of their sexual orientation and gender identity.

At the following session of the Council in June, South Africa took the lead on a resolution about violence against LGBT people. The delegation from South Africa spoke eloquently about their own experience and struggle for human equality and its indivisibility. When the measure passed, it became the first-ever UN resolution recognizing the human rights of gay people worldwide. In the Organization of American States this year, the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights created a unit on the rights of LGBT people, a step toward what we hope will be the creation of a special rapporteur.

Now, we must go further and work here and in every region of the world to galvanize more support for the human rights of the LGBT community. To the leaders of those countries where people are jailed, beaten, or executed for being gay, I ask you to consider this: Leadership, by definition, means being out in front of your people when it is called for. It means standing up for the dignity of all your citizens and persuading your people to do the same. It also means ensuring that all citizens are treated as equals under your laws, because let me be clear – I am not saying that gay people can’t or don’t commit crimes. They can and they do, just like straight people. And when they do, they should be held accountable, but it should never be a crime to be gay.

And to people of all nations, I say supporting human rights is your responsibility too. The lives of gay people are shaped not only by laws, but by the treatment they receive every day from their families, from their neighbors. Eleanor Roosevelt, who did so much to advance human rights worldwide, said that these rights begin in the small places close to home – the streets where people live, the schools they attend, the factories, farms, and offices where they work. These places are your domain. The actions you take, the ideals that you advocate, can determine whether human rights flourish where you are.

And finally, to LGBT men and women worldwide, let me say this: Wherever you live and whatever the circumstances of your life, whether you are connected to a network of support or feel isolated and vulnerable, please know that you are not alone. People around the globe are working hard to support you and to bring an end to the injustices and dangers you face. That is certainly true for my country. And you have an ally in the United States of America and you have millions of friends among the American people.

The Obama Administration defends the human rights of LGBT people as part of our comprehensive human rights policy and as a priority of our foreign policy. In our embassies, our diplomats are raising concerns about specific cases and laws, and working with a range of partners to strengthen human rights protections for all. In Washington, we have created a task force at the State Department to support and coordinate this work. And in the coming months, we will provide every embassy with a toolkit to help improve their efforts. And we have created a program that offers emergency support to defenders of human rights for LGBT people.

This morning, back in Washington, President Obama put into place the first U.S. Government strategy dedicated to combating human rights abuses against LGBT persons abroad. Building on efforts already underway at the State Department and across the government, the President has directed all U.S. Government agencies engaged overseas to combat the criminalization of LGBT status and conduct, to enhance efforts to protect vulnerable LGBT refugees and asylum seekers, to ensure that our foreign assistance promotes the protection of LGBT rights, to enlist international organizations in the fight against discrimination, and to respond swiftly to abuses against LGBT persons.

I am also pleased to announce that we are launching a new Global Equality Fund that will support the work of civil society organizations working on these issues around the world. This fund will help them record facts so they can target their advocacy, learn how to use the law as a tool, manage their budgets, train their staffs, and forge partnerships with women’s organizations and other human rights groups. We have committed more than $3 million to start this fund, and we have hope that others will join us in supporting it.

The women and men who advocate for human rights for the LGBT community in hostile places, some of whom are here today with us, are brave and dedicated, and deserve all the help we can give them. We know the road ahead will not be easy. A great deal of work lies before us. But many of us have seen firsthand how quickly change can come. In our lifetimes, attitudes toward gay people in many places have been transformed. Many people, including myself, have experienced a deepening of our own convictions on this topic over the years, as we have devoted more thought to it, engaged in dialogues and debates, and established personal and professional relationships with people who are gay.

This evolution is evident in many places. To highlight one example, the Delhi High Court decriminalized homosexuality in India two years ago, writing, and I quote, “If there is one tenet that can be said to be an underlying theme of the Indian constitution, it is inclusiveness.” There is little doubt in my mind that support for LGBT human rights will continue to climb. Because for many young people, this is simple: All people deserve to be treated with dignity and have their human rights respected, no matter who they are or whom they love.

There is a phrase that people in the United States invoke when urging others to support human rights: “Be on the right side of history.” The story of the United States is the story of a nation that has repeatedly grappled with intolerance and inequality. We fought a brutal civil war over slavery. People from coast to coast joined in campaigns to recognize the rights of women, indigenous peoples, racial minorities, children, people with disabilities, immigrants, workers, and on and on. And the march toward equality and justice has continued. Those who advocate for expanding the circle of human rights were and are on the right side of history, and history honors them. Those who tried to constrict human rights were wrong, and history reflects that as well.

I know that the thoughts I’ve shared today involve questions on which opinions are still evolving. As it has happened so many times before, opinion will converge once again with the truth, the immutable truth, that all persons are created free and equal in dignity and rights. We are called once more to make real the words of the Universal Declaration. Let us answer that call. Let us be on the right side of history, for our people, our nations, and future generations, whose lives will be shaped by the work we do today. I come before you with great hope and confidence that no matter how long the road ahead, we will travel it successfully together. Thank you very much.

Kudos to both Obama and Clinton. Would that more people - especially those who claim to be followers of the Gospel message - had the courage and decency to back this agenda of treating ALL people with equality and respect.

Scholarship Funds to Honor "Hero" Author and Narnia Executive Producer Perry Moore

Back in February I wrote about the untimely death of Perry Moore (pictured above), executive producer of the "The Chronicles of Narnia" trilogy and author of the young adult novel "Hero." Moore grew up in Virginia Beach and, as I noted at the time, reading the Virginian Pilot coverage, one would never know that Moore was gay and had a life partner. Not without irony, Moore had noted as follows about growing up in Hampton Roads: “I thought I’d have to kill myself,” he said. “Because I grew up going to church in the south and the pervasive message was that I had this terrible secret that I liked men and consequently I would go to hell for it and ruin my family’s life.”

Now, Hunter Hill, Perry Moore’s partner of seventeen years, and family and friends are in the process of establishing four scholarship funds that will benefit young writers and local Hampton Roads students. The Perry Moore Hero Fund will will award college scholarships to young writers who best express stories of understanding, tolerance and strength within the LGBT community. Next Spring, simultaneous donor gala launches will be held in New York City, where Moore made his home, and in Virginia Beach, where he grew up (details will be forth coming as available). The following is a summary of the scholarship programs being established provided to me by a close family friend, as well as links for information and making donations:

I. The Perry Moore Hero Fund

Hunter Hill, Perry’s partner of seventeen years, established the Perry Moore Hero Fund in partnership with the Hetrick-Martin Institute in New York. In line with Perry’s fundamental belief that there lies a Hero in all of us, the Perry Moore Hero Fund will award college scholarships to young writers who best express stories of understanding, tolerance and strength within the LGBT community. The Perry Moore Hero Fund is an artistic scholarship that celebrates literature’s ability to inspire and have a positive impact in the lives of young people. By publishing the winning stories on an official platform via the Perry Moore Hero Fund website, the content will have an immediate, powerful and global voice. The web page to make donations to the Perry Moore Hero Fund is: www.hmi.org/perrymooreherofund


II. Camp Chanco Scholarships in honor of Perry Moore.

Tally Sale Banazek established a special account at Camp Chanco to award camper scholarships in Perry’s name on an annual basis at Camp Chanco in Surry, Virginia. The web page to make donations to Camp Chanco in Perry’s memory is http://www.chanco.org/ Please visit the Chanco website and click on “Donate Now.” At the final payment page please indicate the “Perry Moore Scholarship Fund” when you are prompted to add any special instructions to the seller. Alternatively, checks may be sent to Chanco on the James (with the “Perry Moore Scholarship Fund” in the memo line) at P.O. Box 378, Surry, Virginia 23883.

III. The William Perry Moore IV Memorial Award at Norfolk Academy

Teacher Pat Hume, along with classmates Bretta Zimmer Lewis, Liza Berkley, and Trisha Shotten instituted the William Perry Moore IV Memorial Award at Norfolk Academy that will be given annually to a tenth grade student. The first award was presented in May of 2011. The recipient was honored with a handsome plaque, Perry's book on the making of The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, plus DVDs for the three Chronicle of Narnia movies. Pat Hume wrote the inscription on the plaque that hangs in the upper school: “Given annually to a tenth grade girl or boy in honor of Perry Moore '90 whose love of film, language, and literature led him on an incomparable journey of the imagination throughout his life.” The web page to make donations to Norfolk Academy is: https://www.norfolkacademy.org/podium/default.aspx?t=1706&pk=707

IV. The William Perry Moore IV Second Chance Scholarship at Bryant & Stratton College’s Hampton, VA Campus

Christopher Sawyer, Th.D, and Campus Director as well as the Faculty and Staff of Bryant & Stratton College’s Hampton, Virginia Campus announced the creation of the William Perry Moore IV Scholarship. This scholarship will be awarded each semester, in the amount of $1,000 ($3,000/year), to a student who has overcome extraordinary odds in life and succeeded in the classroom. This scholarship is to be fully funded by the Campus and will be awarded for the Winter, Summer and Fall Semesters.

I take my hat off to Hunter Hill and Perry Moore's friends and family for these charitable endeavors. Having provided the initial endowment for the Hamar/HRBOR Scholarship in honor of my late parents and Hampton Roads Business OutReach ("HRBOR") to benefit local graduating LGBT high school students, I know that these memorial scholarships in honor of Perry Moore will make a lasting impact on many lives over the years.

LGBT Center of Hampton Roads Officially Opens Tonight

It has been a long time dream of many in the local LGBT community to have a community center for members of the LGBT community - both to provide meeting space for organizations and to offer programs to address different community issues. Now, through grants from the Elton John AIDS Foundation and Advocates for Youth the dream has become a reality. The new LGBT Center of Hampton Roads is housed in a former warehouse just outside of the Ghent neighborhood in Norfolk which for years has been an LGBT favorite because of the relatively open mindedness of the residents and the areas many shops and restaurants. Like many revitalized urban neighborhoods, the LGBT community played a large role in making Ghent what it is today. Unfortunately, due to a previously scheduled commitment - i.e., the party we are hosting at our house, the boyfriend and I will miss the grand opening gala. The Virginian Pilot looks at the Center's opening. Here are a few highlights:

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For years, Hampton Roads' lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender community gathered in homes, bars and, sometimes, no place at all. Various groups had brainstormed plans for an LGBT center, but a lack of organization meant the ideas never came to fruition, said Stacie Walls-Beegle, executive director of Access AIDS Care.
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Now, through the work of Walls-Beegle's organization and the help of two grants, the LGBT Center of Hampton Roads has become a reality. . . . The LGBT center has been providing services since June, but the grand opening will be held tonight.
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The center has two large rooms for meetings and social events and two smaller rooms for counseling services, available for those in the LGBT community and those who are HIV-positive. Depending on income and eligibility, some counseling services might be free, Walls-Beegle said.
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Larry Sauger of Norfolk said the center will be especially important for LGBT youths. Sauger, 44, said this kind of resource did not exist when he was growing up. "For me as a young gay person, there was nothing," Sauger said. "There was no place for me to turn. I like going in there now and seeing all of the younger people who don't want to hang out the bars but can still socialize."
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Walls-Beegle said her group already has received calls from other clubs and organizations wanting to host meetings at the center, and the founding of the facility has helped the community restart a chapter of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays.
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Those needing more information can go to the Center's website here.

ODU Gay Cultural Studies Invites You to a House Party

The boyfriend and I are hosting a house party in support of the Old Dominion University Gay Cultural Studies endowment effort this Friday at 5:30 PM. Our goal is to fund an endowment that will provide for a permanent post-doctorate position at Old Dominion University ("ODU"). Information on the goals of the effort can be found here. The speaker at the event at our home will be Dr. George D. Greenia, Professor of Hispanic Studies at William and Mary. Dr. Greenia (pictured below) is most famous locally for his pioneering efforts in bringing LGBT programming and organizations to his culturally conservative campus during the Reagan era of the 1980s.

We hope that peninsula readers will try to attend. Here are details:

When: Friday, June 10, 2011 at 5:30 Pm to 7:30 PM

Where: Michael Hamar & Barry Menser's House

To RSVP: Click Here

ODU Post-Doctorate in Gay Cultural Studies Endowment Campaign - Update

The fundraiser/informational event this evening for the GLBT Studies Endowment at the Baron & Ellin Gordon Art Gallery on the Old Dominion University campus was a great success. We had both a great level of attendance and raised considerably more than what had been budgeted as the goal for the evening. In addition, a number of talented and dynamic individuals voiced a desire to join the advisory board.

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Additional events are planned through the fall and I encourage local readers to check us out. Events are open to the public and there is no high pressure sales pitch delivered. To stay on top of future events check this website. As more events are scheduled, I will provide information here on this blog. This is a summary of what we are working to establish:
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ODU Pride Post Doc is an endowment campaign geared towards raising money for the proposed Post-Doctorate position in Gay Cultural Studies at Old Dominion University.
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The position will be administratively housed in the Humanities Institute, but rotated across departments in the College of Arts & Letters according to the scholar’s area of expertise.
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The position would be filled annually, with the possibility of renewal for a second year, and would be subject to a competitive national application process. The selected candidate would be responsible for teaching a 1/1-course load (one class in the Fall semester and one in the Spring semester). One of the courses would be a recurring graduate seminar in sexuality/gender studies while the other course would be an undergraduate offering in the scholar’s area of expertise.

ODUPRIDE PostDoc Art Gallery Event

I have mentioned previously that I have become involved in the effort to establish Post-Doctorate position in Gay Cultural Studies at Old Dominion University ("ODU") located in Norfolk, Virginia within a mile or so of my law firm office. Although I am not an ODU alumni, I have agreed to serve on the advisory board of the endowment effort and my law firm has made a pledge of financial support for the endowment.

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I am excited about the position because none of the local universities - including William & Mary in Williamsburg - have such a program. The position would be filled annually, with the possibility of renewal for a second year, and would be subject to a competitive national application process. The selected candidate would be responsible for teaching a 1/1-course load (one class in the Fall semester and one in the Spring semester). One of the courses would be a recurring graduate seminar in sexuality/gender studies while the other course would be an undergraduate offering in the scholar’s area of expertise. In addition, the scholar would be responsible for organizing an annual outreach event that shines a light on Hampton Roads LGBT community accomplishment and concerns and would act as a liaison between the ODU College of Arts & Letters and the Hampton Roads LGBT community.
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This outreach would help to offset the extremely toxic anti-gay negativity from institutions such as Pat Robertson's Regent University in Virginia Beach which gives this entire region of Virginia a negative image with progressive businesses and organizations. On Thursday, August 26, 2010, we will be holding an informational event and silent act auction to benefit the effort. I encourage local readers to attend and would ask readers in a position to support the effort from out side the area to contact me. More information on the endowment effort and my fellow advisory board members can be found here. Here are details on Thursday's event:
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WHERE: ODU’s Baron Gallery on Monarch Way, Norfolk, VA

WHEN: Thursday, August 26 2010

TIME: 5:30-7:30PM.

ART SILENT AUCTION: All the pieces have been

donated by ODU alumni and faculty as well as by supporters of the Pride campaign.

Wine and cheese will be served.

The event is open to the public.

Artist’s contributing work:
Greta Pratt
Elizabeth Leeor
Harriet McCullough
Anne Bousquet
Manuela Mourao
Clay McGlamory
Jake Gillespie

Other Raffle items include: football tickets & Chrysler Museum membership

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Again, I hope local readers will make an effort to attend and learn more about the position that is being established. This is truly an opportunity to make a difference.

Father's Day Thoughts - A Father's Gift

I lost my father in the fall of 2006 - strangely, he died on my son's birthday, something that has made that date bittersweet ever since. On this father's Day I want to re-publish a post from over three years ago because the gift my dad gave me continues to mean so much and did so much to help me deal with his passing. I sincerely hope that other fathers of gay children can learn from his example. Sadly, the boyfriend never got to meet my dad. I can only think that they would have hit it off famously. Here is 2007 post:
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One thing that I will discuss later in more detail, but wanted to comment upon now - since I saw a photo minutes ago that made me think about it - is how much it meant for me to be accepted by my dad when I came out (a photo of him a few years back is posted at right). We had not always had the best relationship because he was stubborn and not at all good at showing his emotions (I believe this due to his having been raised from age 3 onward in an orphanage that had aspects to it like something out of a Charles Dickens novel). Moreover, in my struggle to hide “my terrible secret,” I never let anyone become completely close to me or allowed anyone to fully know me. It was as if a glass wall separated me from everyone. I could be fully myself only when I was alone.
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When I came out to my parents – I had originally planned on NEVER telling them – my dad freaked out for a couple days. Mostly, I think, because he was wondering what to say to people about him having a gay child, especially since I had been quite visible in the Virginia Beach community. After that, he was fully supportive. The first time the [former] b/f and I visited my parents, he and my dad hit it off and came to like one another a great deal. Before he died last September, my dad and I reached a closure and sense of peace between us that had eluded us all my life. For that, I know I am very lucky.
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To any parents reading this blog, I cannot stress enough to you the wonderful and priceless gift you give to your child when you accept them fully, including their sexual orientation. I am so fortunate that my dad gave me that gift.

LGBT Standing United: Becoming More Inclusive

I was a panelist today at an event hosted by Old Dominion University sponsored by Equlity Virginia with the assistance of several local LGBT organizations, including HRBOR. The focus of the event was issues in the transgender community and some of the workshop topics covered both health and legal/employment law issues faced by the transgender community in Virginia. My contribution was a hand out that summarizes the current laws in Virginia relative to employment non-discrimination. Sadly, Virginia is a state where there are few employment non-discrimination protections within the larger LGBT community, much less transitioning individuals going through gender reassignment. It was an interesting and enlightening event and Equality Virginia plans to have similar events in other areas of the state.

One of the goals is to avoid a split between the "LGB" and "T" factions of the LGBT community that have errupted over ENDA. There are many positive aspects to including gender identy or gender expression to non-discrimination legislation which would further protects LGB individuals. The big issue is that of what is realistically possible in terms of getting the legislation passed into law. We definitely need to maintain a unified front to the maximum extent possible to better the situation of all LGBT citizens.

Financial and in-kind sponsors of the event included: Hampton Roads Business Outreach, Hampton Roads Pride, New Life MCC Of Hampton Roads, ODU Multicultural Student Services, ODU Women’s Center, Tidewater Aids Community Taskforce, Trans Rights Of Virginia.

Barney Frank's Statements in the House of Representatives Yesterday Evening

At this link (http://www.house.gov/frank/enda%20special%20order%20101007.html) is the full text of Barney Frank's statement to the House. As I have indicated, I believe that we must push for the most inclusive version of ENDA that can be passed. However, at some point it is necessary that reality be factored in so that SOMETHING as opposed to NOTHING gets enacted. To those who say, "well Bush will veto whatever is passed by Congress," my response is let him do so and let's hang that around the neck of the GOP. Poll after poll reflects that a significant majority of Americans believe that GAYS should not be subjected to job discrimination. Note, it is GAYs that have this massive support. The polls do not specifically include transgendered individuals. I.e., there IS a difference in the minds of most Americans and elected officials. In pushing for ENDA's passage, political realists understand this, sa does Barney Frank:

I am convinced that the votes are there to pass a bill that bans discrimination based on sexual orientation in employment. I am also convinced that if we were to put up a bill that included people of transgender, that part would be stricken on a vote, and, unfortunately, a fairly heavy vote. Because what happens is when a tough issue, and the transgender issue is a tough political issue now, and if I have fought with colleagues, it is for not being honest enough with people. And people who would mislead you, I would say, Mr. Speaker, to those who come before us as advocates, people who would mislead you and let you think your task is easier are not your friends. They are undercutting your ability. Underestimating your enemy is the surest way, not only to lose, but to lose so bad it is hard to come back.

Now, the notion that you do not pass an antidiscrimination bill protecting large numbers of people until you can protect everybody, in my judgment, is flawed, morally and politically. It is flawed morally because I am here to help people in need. That's why I serve in this job.

If we can get a sexual orientation ban enacted, we will be protecting millions of people in this country who live in States where there is no such law. There are laws in some States and not others. The States that have the laws are probably the place where prejudice is most active.

I do not accept the argument that I am somehow morally lacking if I say, you know what, I would like to protect everybody, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender, I am only at this point able to get a vote passed that protects the millions of people who are gay, lesbian and bisexual; but I will withhold from them that protection until I do anything. Because any time you insist on doing everything all at once, you will do nothing.

Just yesterday afternoon I spoke with a young gay individual who works for a company that allegedly has a 100% rating with HRC who is undergoing harassment because of his sexual orientation and is in fear that he is being set up to be fired. This is happening notwithstanding the company's alleged non-discrimination policy that includes sexual orientation. Sadly, without the passage of ENDA, this type of occurrence will continue to happen every day in states like Virginia. The LGBT community needs to wake up and listen to Barney Frank before we lose the whole ball of wax. Let's not let idealism stop the achievement of real progress.

Do you love the kid or not?

John Aravois at AmericaBlog has a great challenge to Dick and Lynne Cheney (See: .http://www.americablog.com/2007/06/do-you-love-kid-or-not.html )

It's time for Dick and Lynne to prove whether they love their new grandson or not.Bush is now threatening to veto the DC Appropriations bill because it no longer includes gay-bashing language that the GOP has put in there for years. The language banned the DC government from using federal funds to in any way support domestic partner benefits, civil unions and the like (not that the DC government was using federal funds, but it was a nice chance for the GOP to gay bash anyway). Now that the Democrats have dropped the GOP gay-bashing language from the bill, George Bush is threatening a veto.

George Bush is willing to veto Mary Cheney's baby. And not a word from Dick Cheney or Lynne Cheney about the legislative child abuse Bush is about to inflict on their grandson. It's bad enough Dick and Lynne Cheney sat by for so many years as the GOP (and Dick's own boss) bashed their daughter, but you'd think that the Cheneys would finally come to the defense of their own innocent grandson, Samuel David. The Cheneys have a simple choice. They can side with their own flesh and blood, or they can side with the people who bashed Mary and Heather and their newborn child.So the question remains, Dick and Lynne, do you love the kid or not?

Unfortunately, I suspect Cheney will sell out his daughter and grandson.

The Jesus Machine

I consider James Dobson one of the greatest threats to the rights and safety of LGBT Americans. While writers reference Dobson’s "avuncular manner,” he is in fact a cunning and ruthless opponent to gay rights and freedom of religion as contemplated by the USA's founding fathers. It is precisely because of his scripted efforts to appear "avunclar," that most journalist are duped into thinking he's harmless. Nothing could be further from the truth. A book review on a recent book on Dobson can be found in the May 27, 2007, edition of the New Yourk Times: (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/27/books/review/Heilbrunn2-t.html?_r=3&ref=us&oref=slogin&oref=slogin&oref=slogin). Here's a description of Dobson's empire:

This empire is based at an 88-acre campus in Colorado Springs, with some 1,300 employees and a 75,000-square-foot warehouse filled with DVDs, CDs, pamphlets and books that disseminate Dobson’s advice on matters like how to stop bed-wetting or confront a teenager about drug use, not to mention admonitions against gay rights and judicial activism.

Dobson's Focus on the Family sponsors a bogus ex-gay cure program "Love Won Out" I described in a previous post. In addition, Focus on the Family has affiliates in many states in the USA, including the evil "Family Foundation" here in Virginia. I recommend that readers read the New York Times column. It is important to know one's enemies. Believe me, if your are LGBT, Dobson is the enemy.

Virginia leads Nation in Children Aging Out of Foster Care

Today's Virginia Pilot reports that Virgina has the dubious distinction of having the highest "aged out" problem for children in foster care in the USA. Meanwhile Virginia rigorously prohibits LBGT couples from adopting children. Could there just maybe be some correlation between these two issues? One cannot help but wonder since often LGBT's are the ones who adopt children no one else wants. Here's a portion of the story.

The report tagged Virginia as having the highest percentage of such children in 2004. The study, funded by the Pew Charitable Trusts and the Jim Casey Youth Opportunities Initiative, found that 21 percent of Virginia's foster children "aged out" of the system in 2004, compared to a national rate of 8 percent. The good news for Virginia, though, is the state is among 12 where the rates declined between 2000 and 2004, the latest year tracked.

The report, entitled "Time for Reform: Aging Out and On their Own," found that the number of children nationally who age out of foster care has grown by 41 percent since 1998. The report found that children who age out of the system have spent an average of five years in foster care, compared to 2.5 years for all foster children.

Other studies have shown these young adults are at higher risk of homelessness, trouble with the law, and poverty. Virginia social services officials said states often differ in how they collect data, which could account for Virginia's high percentage of children who age out of the state's care.

It is sad that Virginia's legislators and the Christianists at The Family Foundation prefer that children never have a permanent home rather than let them live in stable, loving LGBT homes. Once again, it sure does not seem like what Jesus would condone.

Regression in Norfolk - Loss of Lambda Rising

Last night I happened by the only gay book store in the area, Lambda Rising, and was disturbed to find out that the store will be closing at the end of June. When I asked why the store was closing, I was told that the gay community just did not support the store sufficiently. This is symptomatic of the biggest problem with the gay community here: too many are hiding “under the radar,” they do not support gay vendors and businesses as they should. To me, the area gays need to do what the small but very successful Jewish and Greek area communities have done for many, many years. Namely, when needing a service or commodity, if there is a community member that can provide what is sought as opposed to taking one’s business to a non-community member, they ALWAYS give the business to their fellow community member. Why give business to someone how hates you or doesn’t support your equal rights. To me, it’s a simple concept. I hope that perhaps HRBOR can help this stupidity cease.

As for Lambda Rising, while it has the obligatory gay porn magazines and videos, the bulk of its merchandise is (1) quality books on gay themes and issues or by gay authors, (2) great music CD’s and (3) gay themed movies that – OMG – have a real plot and story line. Among the book section, there are many books on religion and spirituality that I found to be an immeasurable resource in working through my coming out and religious recovery process. It will be a tremendous loss to the LBGT community not to have this resource. The b/f and I will greatly miss the store and will have to take advantage of the going out of business prices to stock up.

A Father's Gift

One thing that I will discuss later in more detail, but wanted to comment upon now - since I saw a photo minutes ago that made me think about it - is how much it meant for me to be accepted by my dad when I came out (a photo of him a few years back is posted above). We had not always had the best relationship because he was stubborn and not at all good at showing his emotions (I believe this due to his having been raised from age 3 onward in an orphanage that had aspects to it like something out of a Charles Dickens novel). Moreover, in my struggle to hid “my terrible secret,” I never let anyone become completely close to me or allowed anyone to fully know me. It was as if a glass wall separated me from everyone. I could be fully myself only when I was alone.

When I came out to my parents – I had originally planned on NEVER telling them – my dad freaked out for a couple days. Mostly, I think, because he was wondering what to say to people about him having a gay child, especially since I had been quite visible in the Virginia Beach community. After that, he was fully supportive. The first time the b/f and I visited my parents, he and my dad hit it off and came to like one another a great deal. Before he died last September, my dad and I reached a closure and sense of peace between us that had eluded us all my life. For that, I know I am very lucky.

To any parents reading this blog, I cannot stress enough to you the wonderful and priceless gift you give to your child when you accept them fully, including their sexual orientation. I am so fortunate that my dad gave me that gift.

Hate Crimes and False Christians

Blogernista has an article on why the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes law is so badly needed (http://bloggernista.com/) The article describes the brutal gay-bashing of Chris Rico. Chris had to drive himself to the emergency room where he was met with distain from police and emergency technicans. All of this and we have 180 members of Congress including fourteen Democrats who voted against extending the current hate crime law to include LGBT people. Here’s Chris Rico’s description of what happened to him (Chris’ photo is posted above):

I was choking on blood face down on the ground before I even realized what was happening to me. As I struggled to crawl to my feet, I was greeted by thunderous kicks to my ribs and my temple and the venomous and inconceivable cry, “die fucking faggot.” Here in Palm Springs, alone and without warning I was being gay bashed. Two strangers filled with hatred, and clear intent, were trying to end my life simply because of who I am. As I began to realize that my life could end here in this rocky, abandoned lot where they had dragged me from my car, my survival instinct surged from the very core of my being. I began to fight back, take swings, kick, scream. I threw rocks. I grabbed a pipe on the ground and brandished it as a weapon. I’m quite certain that my animalistic rage and the sheer volume of my screams surprised them. Eventually, they slunk back into the night from which they came.

Things like this happen ever day, yet Chimperor Bush wants to veto a law that could help boost public awareness to the problem and perhaps prevent this type of hate based crime. That the Christo-fascists oppose this legislation seaks volumes about the falsity and perversion of their version of Christianity.