Gay Donors Provide Buttigieg a Donor Foundation

The LGBT community - contrary to stereotypes - is in no way monolithic and contains a complex cross section of socioeconomic groups and political ideologies.  While the vast majority of the LGBT community votes Democrat in no small part due to the GOP - and Trump's - continued jihad against our basic civil rights , there is anything but unanimity in opinion on political candidates or important agenda items. Some push for far left agendas while others, like myself, believe more moderate platforms are  the key to actually electing candidates who can then push progressive policies. All of that said, the candidacy of Pete Buttigieg has struck a nerve with many in the LGBT community and many of its members are rallying to his support never having previously believed that an LGBT candidate had the potential of being a viable presidential candidate. A piece in the New York Times looks at the LGBT fundraising that has provided Buttigieg with a sizable portion of his campaign's seed money.  Here are highlights:

Barely two months ago, when Pete Buttigieg, the mayor of South Bend, Ind., was rating no higher than 1 or 2 percent in national polls, he had a well-worn punchline he used as he pitched himself in living rooms and conference rooms where many of the guests were, like him, young, male and gay.  “I’m not asking for monogamy,” he would say.

It was fine to give to the bigger names in the race like Senators Kamala Harris and Cory Booker or former Representative Beto O’Rourke. He asked only that they save some for his historic candidacy, too.  Now, Mr. Buttigieg is looking for commitment.

After vaulting into the top tier of presidential candidates vying for the 2020 Democratic nomination — going from “adorable” to “plausible,” in his own words — Mr. Buttigieg is building on the fly a nationwide network of donors that is anchored by many wealthy and well-connected figures in lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender political circles.

Top L.G.B.T. donors face no shortage of loyal allies among the 20 Democratic candidates. But Mr. Buttigieg’s candidacy has struck an especially powerful chord with many of them. Though many said they believed they would see a gay man or lesbian become a serious contender for the White House one day, most of them had never considered it beyond the abstract. Mr. Buttigieg’s ascent has made a sudden and unexpected reality of something they thought was still years away, if not decades.

“There is absolutely no way to be cavalier about this candidacy — it is extraordinary,” said the television producer Richie Jackson, who with his husband, the Broadway producer Jordan Roth, hosted a fund-raiser for Mr. Buttigieg at their New York City home this month.

The L.G.B.T. support provided Mr. Buttigieg a crucial early financial foothold before his candidacy began to surge after a CNN town-hall-style event in March, and now is poised to power a campaign staffing up nationally and in the early-primary states. His rise has threatened the donor allegiances that other candidates, led by former Vice President Joseph R. Biden Jr., have established over many years in the L.G.B.T. world.

And the flood of money does not come without risk. Though Mr. Buttigieg’s campaign announced last week that it would no longer accept contributions from federal lobbyists, and also said it was refunding $30,250 from lobbyists who had already donated, many of his gay donors have ties to the kinds of elite businesses that could tarnish his image as the poster boy of small-town, Midwestern America.
 Mr. Buttigieg’s sexual orientation is not central to how he has sold himself to the voting public — as a veteran, a Rhodes scholar and a government executive with the thoughtfulness and temperament needed to bridge the country’s bitter partisan divide.

But his sexuality became a much larger part of his political identity after he spoke this month to the Victory Fund, a group that supports L.G.B.T. candidates. In that speech, he described his struggle with coming out of the closet and challenged Vice President Mike Pence, an opponent of gay rights.

Now he rarely goes more than a few days between private events hosted by prominent gay donors. Through mid-May, he has nearly two dozen fund-raisers planned, including one in New York hosted by Andy Cohen, the Bravo host, and Michael Stipe, the former lead singer of R.E.M.

This week, he will be in Boston for back-to-back fund-raisers with other prominent L.G.B.T. guests. The first will feature Mr. Buttigieg in conversation with Brandon Victor Dixon, the Broadway actor who confronted Mr. Pence from the stage of “Hamilton.” The second is being hosted by Bryan Rafanelli and Mark Walsh, longtime confidants of the Clintons.

But the L.G.B.T. community is no monolith. And Mr. Buttigieg’s candidacy is exposing tensions that have been papered over during the period of relative unity and common purpose that has taken hold since President Trump took office. The political priorities of gay men — especially the affluent white gay men who have mostly filled Mr. Buttigieg’s coffers — often differ from those of lesbians and transgender people. And the enthusiasm for his campaign is not universal.
 In interviews, more than a dozen people who have helped the Buttigieg campaign raise money described an effort that has taken off with unexpected speed, at times overwhelming the campaign’s finance staff and volunteers. Small fund-raisers organized with a few dozen guests ballooned to banquet-size events with hundreds of R.S.V.P.s and host committees so large the names could not all fit on the invitations.

The mayor’s strength in the polls — he is rising quickly in early-voting states like New Hampshire and Iowa — suggests he is far more than just a niche L.G.B.T. candidate.

Though the L.G.B.T. donor base is one of the deepest and most reliable wellsprings of money for Democratic candidates, it is not large enough on its own to sustain a campaign.
 “L.G.B.T. money has been the equivalent of seed money or angel investment,” said Alex Slater, a Washington public relations consultant who is helping to organize fund-raising events for Mr. Buttigieg.

In the interests of full disclosure, I have made a modest donation to Mayor Pete's campaign if for no other reason than to keep an LGBT Candidate viable for a longer period in the primary contest.  And yes, we have offered our home as a fundraising venue. 

The Trillion Dollar LGBT Market Niche

A portion of the crowd at PrideFest 2017

When I was fired from a large local law firm after I came out in mid-life - a gay partner it was said would offend the sensibilities of the firm's "conservative" client - I made a concerted effort to market to the sizable LGBT market.  Who better to address the legal concerns of LGBT citizens than a gay attorney who knew about bigotry and discrimination first hand (hence my win as the best attorney in Outwire 757 recent reader's choice awards).  As part of that effort, I was a founder of the local LGBT chamber of commerce, Hampton Roads Business OutReach ("HRBOR") In the years since, both locally and nationally, more and more businesses have discovered that smart business means marketing to the LGBT community and other minority communities, e.g. the Hispanic-American community. Some businesses have suffered the attempted wrath of Christofascists who regularly have called ineffective boycotts against national companies advertising to the LGBT market, but have been undeterred (and typically saw they earnings increase).  A piece in Inside Business underscores why marketing to the LGBT community makes sense.  The explanation is ultimately simple:  LGBT individuals make up a trillion dollar market and have money to spend.  Moreover, they are loyal to those who are LGBT friendly - locally, I can tell you which law firms to avoid if you are LGBT - and engage in word of mouth promotion of merchants and professionals that they respect.  Here are some article excerpts:

Rainbow flags [could] be seen on the streets of Hampton Roads as the region prepare[d] for a series of celebrations for the LGBTQ community, wrapping up a month of gay pride celebrations.

Hampton Roads PrideFest alone expect[ed] 25,000 to 30,000 visitors from across the Mid-Atlantic for Saturday's festival in Norfolk's Town Point Park. Many of these visitors have booked hotels for the weekend and restaurants, stores and other tourism-related businesses expect big business.

The estimated purchasing power of LGBTQ adults in the U.S. ranges around $1 trillion. Witeck Communications released a study last year that showed a four percent increase to $917 billion while the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce estimates buying power at $1.7 trillion.

The Hampton Roads region is no exception. In fact, a 2015 Gallup study ranked the Virginia Beach-Norfolk metropolitan area as 12th out of 50 metropolitan areas with the highest proportion of LGBTQ adults (4.4 percent of our population). Old Dominion University's 2016 State of the Region Report estimated the LGBTQ working-age adult's average income in Hampton Roads totaled $2.017 billion, about 4.8 percent of total income of adults between the ages of 25 and 64.

This large purchasing power isn’t because LGBTQ adults are earning more than their heterosexual counterparts. In fact, studies cited in the State of the Region show gay men and lesbian women earn about five and nine percent less, respectively, than their heterosexual male coworkers.   Rather, this purchasing power comes from large disposable incomes due to the fact LGBTQ households often have two full incomes without any children and related expenses . . .

Much of this disposable income goes toward travel, hence the interest of the tourism industries. Virginia Tourism Corporation data shows LGBTQ visitors stay longer and spend more than their non-LGBTQ counterparts.

The Downtown Norfolk Council emailed local businesses with a list of suggestions on how to make the most of the gay pride festival and potential customers. Suggestions included showing off rainbow clothes, flags, signs, drinks and food along with offering discounts to people who wear rainbow colors in support. The council even offered to distribute rainbow flags and necklaces for free.

Ryan Downey of the Hampton Convention and Visitor Bureau said although there is nothing in Hampton that is exclusively for the LGBTQ consumer, the bureau hosts occasional meeting of local business owners to discuss LGBTQ events and efforts.

Pride events have included a river cruise, in which all proceeds went to ACCESS AIDS, and a historical feature on growing up gay in Hampton Roads called “Our Story, Our Time” presented by the Hampton History Museum.

The Virginia Beach Convention and Visitor's Bureau has produced an in-flight video for American Airlines featuring LGBTQ locals along with photos of LGBTQ couples, to market weddings at the convention center and the city's ViBe district.

The ViBe district boasts the Rainbow Crosswalk at 19th Street and Cypress Avenue. Virginia Beach leadership, all the way up to the mayor, has embraced this intentional, organic symbol by a local artist . . . .

Several organizations aim to help businesses overcome the marketing costs of advertising themselves as a destination for LGBTQ consumers.

The Hampton Roads Business OutReach aims to give local businesses national exposure. Tracy Skinner, the outreach group's president, encourages businesses to become certified as an LGBTQ business enterprise through the National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce in order to do business with larger corporations like Hilton and American Airlines.

Similarly, the Virginia Tourism Corporation urges business to add a free listing at Virginia.Org, which reaches 13 million annually. It also offers an extensive LGBTQ tourism resource guide. 

LGBTQ acceptance has been on the rise in the last decade since the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act and “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell." Although many are encouraged by the growing acceptance, tourism industries of competing cities have struggled to “break through the noise.” . . . "It’s not enough to just slap a rainbow flag on something and check the box.”

As the article notes, locally, the LGBT community is over a $2 billion market.  What savvy business owner would not want to pursue that type of market?

Winners of the 2017 Outwire757 "Best of" Awards

Is It Time to Divest From HRC?

I and many others have had enough of the Human Rights Campaign ("HRC") and its bloated executive salaries, lack of support for local LGBT rights organizations, and most recently endorsement of a Republican that might help the anti-gay GOP retain control of the U.S. Senate.  A piece in Daily Kos looks at the question of whether it is time for liberals and progressives to cease their support of HRC.  I have made my decision and have ceased all contributions to HRC and removed the HRC bumper sticker from my car.  I'd be interested in what readers think.  Here are highlights from the Daily Kos article:

When the gay rights behemoth known as the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) endorsed Illinois GOP Sen. Mark Kirk over his Democratic challenger, Rep. Tammy Duckworth, it took a lot of heat for obvious reasons. Control of the Senate has become a critical flashpoint in 2016 now that liberals have a chance to completely reshape the center of gravity of the Supreme Court with a single justice—a justice that GOP Senate leadership has committed to obstructing indefinitely.

In other words, Republican control of the U.S. Senate is single-handedly blocking a once-in-a-generation opportunity for progressives. In the meantime, it’s also a major hurdle (though not the only one) to congressional passage of the Equality Act, which would provide federal nondiscrimination protections to Americans on the basis of “gender identity” and “sexual orientation.”

For many progressives, the notion that an LGBT equality organization would endorse a Republican is anathema. I am not one of them.

As Mark Josef Stern wrote at Slate:

We shouldn’t criticize HRC for attempting to play the long game with Kirk. Rather, we should criticize them for attempting to play the long game stupidly.

Given the current political climate and the particulars of this coming election, there’s just no good explanation for this mind-boggling endorsement. If Tammy Duckworth was a conserva-Dem, maybe. But not only did she have a 100 percent rating from HRC in the 2013-2014 Congress to Kirk’s 78 percent, the Illinois senate race promises to be extremely competitive, and literally every seat counts on the path to Democrats flipping the handful of seats necessary to regain control of the Senate. (If Democrats hold the White House, they actually only need four since the VP is the tie-breaking vote.)

In the interest of full disclosure, Daily Kos has endorsed Duckworth, but that’s not the impetus for my piece. The controversy made my radar again this week when Kirk said he would support Donald Trump if he were the GOP nominee.

In the words of blogger Andy Towle, “HRC’s Appalling Mark Kirk Endorsement Now Comes with Donald Trump.” That’s when I noticed an organic phenomenon on Twitter that struck me a nascent #DivestFromHRC movement. The twitter search “Kirk HRC” yielded a growing number of sentiments like this simple message: Done with support for HRC. So disappointed: Kirk.

I’m not an HRC fan but I’m also not necessarily an HRC hater—they’ve always had their faults as does any large group. My biggest quibble is this: since they’re working on all things LGBT, they aren’t necessarily accountable for anything. In 2009-2010, for instance, they were initially committed to passing hate crimes protections (which did happen) and then the Employment Nondiscrimination Act (ENDA). But when repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” jumped ahead of ENDA—mainly because DADT-specific groups applied more outside pressure and actually protested Congress and the White House—HRC jumped on that bandwagon even though ENDA had been their priority. So the group manages to get partial credit for most LGBTQ wins, but it has little accountability for losses. When something fails, they can always say, well, we were working on (fill in the blank) as a way to dodge responsibility.

[S]omething Michelangelo Signorile noted about the Kirk endorsement has stuck with me.

If HRC is not answerable to LGBT people, however — and its president, Griffin, rarely even gives interviews to LGBT media, while speaking often in the larger media — exactly to whom and what is it answerable, and what are its true priorities? One thing is clear: HRC doesn’t speak for the LGBT community, and the sooner that politicians and those in the media grasp that, the smarter they will be.

HRC, by virtue of its size and visibility, has been given carte blanche to say and do whatever it wants while representing LGBTQ Americans. Mainstream media almost always looks to them first when they’re seeking someone to weigh in on LGBTQ rights. And ever more so recently, the group has made a series of decisions that have actually dealt serious blows to the equality push.

HRC isn’t solely responsible for the lack of LGBT debate this election cycle. As I have noted before, lack of grassroots energy has also contributed. But that is perhaps precisely a reason now to find alternatives to funding HRC. We need to be lifting up a multitude of voices. 

Divest? Don’t divest? Perhaps, there are groups you would like to raise up here as possibilities for giving. There’s always the legal groups—Lambda Legal, GLAD, ACLU, Transgender Law Center and the National Center for Lesbian Rights (which launched a “WeAreAllNC” campaign this week.) If you’re inherently drawn to electoral giving, there’s the relatively new Lesbian Political Action Committee, or LPAC, (which endorsed Tammy Duckworth this week). Perhaps some state or regional groups in the South, like SONG (Southerners On New Ground, @ignitekindred).

The Problem With the Word "Queer"

Yet another internal controversy has reared its ugly head in the LGBT community: attempts to use the word "queer" to describe the community at large.  The tempest has been launched by certain activists and the Huffington Post's decision to change "Gay Voices" to "Queer Voices." An opinion piece in The Advocate - which I agree with 100% - makes the case that the move is a huge mistake and that rather than unifying the LGBT community, it will alienate many.  I for one won't use it and believe the term plays directly into the hands of our Christofascist enemies.  It could likewise dampen my enthusiasm to support organizations that use the term, which I despise.  Here are excerpts  from the column:

There seems to be yet another controversy in our community this week. The issue du jour is The Huffington Post changing its dedicated LGBT site’s name from Gay Voices to Queer Voices. While there are strong opinions on both sides of this issue, when I heard about it, it brought a smile to my face.

Since the beginning of my activism back in 1969, I’ve witnessed our community’s attempts to unite over a word or term to define ourselves. There was “homosexual,” “homophile,” “gay,” “gay and lesbian,” and most recently, and most accepted, “LGBT.” So what about “queer”?

HuffPost’s reasoning? “We, like many others before us, have chosen to reclaim ‘queer.’ ‘Queer’ functions as an umbrella term that includes not only the lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgender people of ‘LGBT,’ but also those whose identities fall in between, outside of or stretch beyond those categories, including genderqueer people, intersex people, asexual people, pansexual people, polyamorous people and those questioning their sexuality or gender, to name just a few.”

While the word “queer” is popular with young LGBT activists, many in our community detest it. Reclaiming a derogatory word is not a new trend. Some of us used to use the word “faggot.” 

It’s popular with only one segment of our population, and that segment is overwhelmingly activist-driven. Most in our community do not consider themselves activists and still feel hurt when they hear that word. Are we trying to teach our own community, or are we trying to fight for equality? Are we trying to hurt the seniors in our community who suffered harassment by the use of that word and give them another barrier to overcome? 

Maybe we should attempt to solve some of the hard-core issues in our community rather then spending time debating semantics. While all individuals have the right to identify with whatever term or image they wish for themselves, and that should be respected, the word-reclaiming, like that in the black community, will eventually be passé.

So if you spend any capital or time on this, you’re ignoring issues such as homelessness, poverty, employment discrimination, the need for housing to protect our seniors, and anti-trans violence. Those are problems I’d rather address, not a word — and especially not one that some of the most endangered people in our community see as another barrier.

I hope Huffington Post will rethink its idiocy.  Many of us have worked hard for changed attitudes and put ourselves on the line socially and at work and do not need to be labeled by a derogatory term. As for organizations that are stupid enough to adopt the term, they can plan on seeing a stop in the flow of checks from me!!

Poll: Gay Pride Rising Even as Sense of Community Decreases

While gays are increasingly "mainstream" - the husband and I are yacht club members, frequent guests at a country club and even in Hampton Roads, Virginia, law firms are now happy to hire attorneys who are openly gay - much anti-gay discrimination continues to exist, especially in red states and backwaters like Southwest Virginia.  A recent poll, however, suggests that some gays are feeling a lost sense of community as society becomes more gay friendly. Personally, I have not felt this phenomenon, perhaps because the husband and I are so active in LGBT organizations such as Equality Virginia, HRBOR, the local gay and gay friendly chamber of commerce, HR Pride and other community organizations.  Nonetheless, as the Washington Post reports, while a sense of "gay pride" seems to be occurring, some poll respondents feel a loss of a sense of community as more gays go mainstream.  Here are article highlights:

In an illuminating and strikingly different survey, Logo — the Viacom Media network aimed at gay audiences — polled 1,061 gay men between ages 18 and 49, asking them how they saw themselves and their communities and following up with smaller groups in a number of cities. The survey is the first in a series of surveys of different LGBT communities that Logo plans to conduct. And it provides a fascinating look at how a rising generation of gay men feels about gay history, the role of the Internet and some of the biggest internal challenges facing gay communities. (An early look at the survey results was provided to The Washington Post.)

No matter its findings, the Logo study is unusual simply in that it exists at all. . . . . it’s only recently that LGBT people have been asked about how they see themselves and the society they live in more generally.

While this first Logo study doesn’t capture the range of experiences of other members of the LGBT community, like lesbians, bisexuals and transgender people, the researchers behind it were able to delve more broadly into the way gay men see themselves and their communities — with some surprising results.

The survey results reflect high and intense levels of pride among the respondents. Sixty-one percent of gay men between ages 20 and 29 told researchers that being gay was either extremely or very important to their identity (those numbers declined somewhat with age). Seventy-five percent of respondents of all ages agreed with the statement “Being gay makes me feel different in a good way.” Three-quarters also said that their sexual orientation had a positive effect on their lives, and 67 percent said that their lives were more interesting because they were gay. And 83 percent said that they found something distinct and important in their friendships with other gay men.
 
 “But at the same time we started to hear expressions of nostalgia from the younger end of the community, that they felt that the gay community of today didn’t feel as united or close-knit as they imagined it once was.”

While younger gay men have no desire to return to eras defined by persecution, police violence and indifference from public officials, and while they benefit from much greater access to one another through the Internet and through smartphones, the survey results did suggest a real longing for gay institutions. Sixty-four percent of the respondents in their 20s and 30s told researchers that “As gay people become more integrated into the mainstream, we have fewer places we can call our own,” and 85 percent of the overall respondents agreed with the statement “It’s sad to see gay neighborhoods and bars disappear,” and also with the idea that even as more Americans become open and accepting to gay people, it’s important to maintain gay-only spaces.

One of the ways these generational differences manifest is in the very process of figuring out how to be gay and what it means to be gay. Sixty-five percent of the survey respondents in their 20s and 30s agreed with the statement “Today the big struggle is no longer coming out but figuring out what kind of gay man do I want to be.”

“One of the interesting things about that is they felt like it was harder for them to take advice from older members of the community because they felt like the experiences they were having today, and the fact that they grew up in such a different environment sort of meant that the advice they had received from their older counterparts wasn’t going to be directly relevant,” Cohen says of the the 79 percent of all respondents who said that younger gay men were creating new rules and ways of gayness . . . .

[T]he process of identity formation is broadly disruptive, political scientist Kenneth Sherrill argues, because despite a profusion of cultural archetypes and the fact that more people are out of the closet, the assumption is still that most children will be heterosexual. When young people realize that they are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender, it raises many other questions as well. Sherrill’s research, for example, has found that LGBT children of Republican parents switch party identification at exceptionally high rates. “That shock to the system has political and social consequences,” Sherrill explains. “It puts your identity on the table for reconsideration the moment you consider you’re not the person you thought you were going to be growing up. And when that happens, our research leads us to believe that it puts all aspects of identity on the table for reconsideration.

Eighty percent of respondents described the gay community as very judgmental, and 81 percent called it clique-y. Sixty-five percent of respondents agreed with the statement “Within the gay community, I often feel the pressure to look or act a certain way.” In particular, that judgment can manifest as racism against men of color, heavier or older men or men who don’t present themselves as hyper-masculine.

Cohen and Hillhouse emphasized repeatedly that gay men and the LGBT community at large still face substantial material obstacles to equality. But their research suggests that the wave of attitudinal change that shows up in their survey is just beginning to crest.

I came out in late 2001 and began living as a gay man (although closeted at work) in August, 2002.   Since then, I have seen a decline in the number of local gay clubs and those that have survived tend to market to an increasingly mixed clientele of gays and straights.  That said - at least in larger metropolitan areas - opportunities exist to build a sense of community through LGBT organizations.  In addition, most colleges and universities have active LGBT organiztions. Like many things, finding a sense of community requires effort on one's part to get involved and get to know people.  While more effort may be required today, in my view, it still beatds the "old days" where gays felt compelled to congregate at gay bars and clubs simply because they had nowhere else they could go.

On a last note, I definitely agree with the statement of survey respondents that “Being gay makes me feel different in a good way.”  I did not always feel this way, especially in the early days of my coming out journey, but now I truly feel that being gay is a gift.  A gift that I am thankful for.

How LGBT Assimilation Is Hurting The LGBT Community's Most Vulnerable

While the advances in gay rights since I came out in October, 2001, have been amazing, not all in the LGBT community have benefited equally  in the advances, particularly those living in still anti-gay red states and those from minority populations and/or less affluent backgrounds.  I complain at times about life in Virginia - which remains far from the bright center of the LGBT universe in many ways - but overall, the husband and I have it far better than many others, including LGBT individuals stuck living in rural areas of Southwest Virginia or what's called "Southside" to the west of Hampton Roads.   The contrasts are huge and may be growing.  We find ourselves socially acceptable and in professions where our sexual orientation seemingly is less and less of an obstacle to success.  A mere 100 miles to the west, it's a very different world (recently visiting the Farmville, Virginia, area, my comment was that if I had to live there, razor blades might seem like an attractive option).  The same holds for those in minority communities.  Hopefully, this will change in time, but for now the divergence is growing.  A piece in Huffington Post looks at the phenomenon.  Here are excerpts:

On the evening of June 28, two very different celebrations took place to mark the most historic New York City Pride week in decades. 

The flashier of these celebrations was the iconic Dance on the Pier. . . . .  Complete with laser lights, multiple jumbotrons, fireworks and a legion of half-naked go-go dancers, the event was a brazen testament to the newfound trendiness of urban gaydom. Admission started at $80, but that didn't stop 10,000 enthusiastic fans from snatching up tickets to what organizers billed as one of the world's top-tier LGBT events.

[A]cross the Hudson to the north, they may have seen the outline of the Christopher Street Piers, where a celebration of a very different kind was taking place. Here, a motley crowd of queer homeless youths -- who definitely could not afford admission to Dance on the Pier -- decided to throw an impromptu party of their own. With the bass from the Ariana Grande concert pulsing in the background, the youths -- male, female, cisgender, transgender, gay, lesbian, bisexual, black and Latino -- drank, smoked, sang, vogued and played cards under the dim light of the street lamps.

Both parties paid homage to a common past by celebrating Pride and the decades of struggle it commemorates. Both parties acknowledged a common present by sharing space on the Hudson River Piers, the heart of New York's LGBT community. But the extravagant Ariana Grande concert and its upscale audience could not have seemed more out of place among the piers that have served as a safe haven for the queer community's most marginalized -- mostly queer homeless youth of color -- for decades.

While the gay rights movement in the United States has achieved a remarkable string of successes over the past several years, including the invalidation of the Defense of Marriage Act and the legalization of gay marriage, not everyone within the LGBT community is equally positioned to take advantage of these successes. 

After all, although marriage is a declaration of love, in many ways it is also an expression of interpersonal stability, economic security and social respectability -- attributes that many marginalized LGBT people do not have. So while love may have won for middle and upper class gays, many transgender people, queer people of color and queer homeless youths instead find themselves left behind by a community that has become increasingly defined by the interests of its white, cisgender, middle and upper class members.

Marriage is an institution of respectability. The fight for gay marriage suggested that the gay community had grown up, left its radical past behind and was ready to join mainstream society as a reputable partner.  . . . . It was also an assertion that the gay rights movement had reached an important milestone, transcending basic issues of health, safety, economic security and social stability.

But the problem is, it hadn't. Over 20 percent of all LGBT youth are homeless, and 40 percent of all homeless youth are LGBT. 58 percent of queer homeless youth have been sexually assaulted. 64 percent of transgender people make less than $25,000 per year. 41 percent of transgender people and 62 percent of queer homeless youth have attempted suicide. And 10 transgender women have been murdered in the U.S. so far this year. 

Is this to be the brave new gay world?  A world in which the public face of the queer community -- the gay, the white, the cisgender and the wealthy -- take their place among society's elite, leaving the transgender, the non-white, the poor and the homeless to fend for themselves?

A world where queer youths are disowned and thrown out on the street by their families, only to find that they are also considered second-class citizens in the community they reach out to for love and acceptance?

[A]s the gay elite have become increasingly integrated into the power structure of society, many have used their newfound influence not to alleviate the inequalities within the queer community, but instead to cement their position at the pinnacle of an expanding LGBT hierarchy.

Instead of collaborating with queer homeless youth to recreate the old Village's culture of diversity and acceptance, many residents of this new Greenwich Village -- many of them gay and lesbian -- have sought to "clean" their streets

And instead of protecting queer homeless youths from harassment, the Christopher Street Patrol has increasingly hounded them for petty quality of life infractions, a strategy eerily similar to that of the anti-gay vigilantes the patrol was in part founded to combat. As one black transgender youth put it, "The damage comes from our own community. You'd think we'd be safe on our own piers."
But the worst part about this trend is that because the discrimination is perpetrated at least in part by our own community, it is given a sense of legitimacy. After all, it can't be homophobic if it's queers versus queers, right?!

With the stunning advances in gay rights and growing prosperity of America's LGB community over the past decade, it's easy to forget that the very groups we are now marginalizing are the ones who launched the queer rights movement at a time when being gay was still a crime.

If queer homeless youths, black drag queens, transgender women and gay hustlers had not risen up against oppression at Compton's Cafeteria and Stonewall over 45 years ago, we would not have gay marriage today.
So as long as LGBT youths sleep on the street, transgender people fear for their lives, and queer people of color live in poverty, my new right to marry will be diminished.The LGBT movement still has a long way to go . . .

The author is correct - there is a huge amount of work still to be done and anti-gay discrimination (much of it generated by foul religious denominations) needs to be fought and crushed at all levels of society and across America from the big cities to small rural towns.  Never ending activism is exhausting, but there is still so much to be done.  The fight must continue.

August 2, 2014 - "Dinner is Served" to Benefit ACCESS AIDS Care

One of the fundraisers that the husband and I support - and work to help host - each summer is "Diner Is Served" at the home of our friend in Virginia Beach.  All proceeds go to support ACCESS AIDS Care which provides service - including counseling, food supply and housing - for individuals and families impacted by HIV/AIDS.   Each year the event has a theme and many come in costumes.  Last year's theme was "Togas and Tiaras."  This year's theme is "Trailer Park Trash" - I can just imagine some of the costumes.   Here are details on the event:

WHEN: Saturday, August 2, 2014 at 6:00pm - 9:00pm

WHERE:  1425 Rylands Road, Virginia Beach, Virginia 23455

WHAT:  Trailer Park Trash Pool Party!   Dinner, cocktails, pool time, and volleyball. Come in costume as the most glamorous of the trailer park... or the trashiest!

MAKE YOUR DONATION/TICKET PURCHASE HERE:
http://www.accessaids.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=186

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Yes, Olive Garden is providing all of the food for the main course. 

More Spittle Fleck Craziness from The Christianists

It seems no one goes out of their way looking for insults and a reason to spew batshitery that the Christofascists.  Especially when the source of outrage can be directed at the Obama White House and/or Hollywood.  Michelle Obama's surprise appearance at last night's Academy Awards is one source of flying spittle - especially given her apparent reference to gay rights.  The other source of outrage among the hate group crowd is a storyline on CBS's Criminal Minds, which featured an "ex-gay" serial killer who'd undergone abusive "sexual conversion therapy."Linda Harvey and ex-gay for pay Greg Quilan are simply beside themselves and vented profusely on World Net Daily, a/k/a Wing Nut Daily.  Here's a sampling of the spittle flecked hysteria:

Sparking the comments was a recent episode of “Criminal Minds” that featured a team of FBI profilers that investigates serial killers. In the Feb. 20 episode, titled “Broken,” a serial killer is murdering women and homosexual men in what appears to be a series of sex crimes.

The episode makes a startling claim as the killer is a person who received conversion therapy as a young man to overcome homosexual attractions. According to the characters in the show, the therapy caused him to believe that acting on his same-sex attraction is wrong. This belief causes him to violently attack people, because he is conflicted about his sexual orientation.

“This man can’t accept his same-sex desires, but he can’t fight them either,” one of the profilers explains. “He’s most likely been repressing all sexual urges for some time.   “He is trapped in a scenario with an impossible outcome. He can’t force himself to like women, so when he is unable to get aroused he becomes depressed again and lashes out in anger to the people he blames for his impotence.”

The show portrays members of the ex-”gay” community as ticking time bombs who are potential serial killers. In one scene, a computer screen shot features a report portraying “The Ex-Gay Movement.” The description states that cautioning children to not have homosexual thoughts was harmful and that individuals merely claimed they had changed their same-sex attraction.

Linda Harvey, founder of Mission America, says the episode is plain and simple discrimination.
“There is absolutely no evidence behind the premise of the show. It is total and complete propaganda,” Harvey said. “Not only is it discriminating against these individuals, they slam everyone who is attempting to overcome these feelings even though there is no evidence that these feelings are inborn and say your opinions on the issue don’t matter.”


Harvey said the episode is part of a larger movement to portray conversion therapy as hateful while portraying ex-”gays” as unstable people who are a threat to everyone around them.  “The homosexual lobby and its supporters are now deciding there is a desperate need to discredit people who want to partake in conversion therapy,” Harvey said.

The people who are desperate are, in my opinion, the mentally ill individuals like Quinlan and Harvey who make a living attacking gays and homosexuality.  They see the larger public realizing that they and their "ministries" are quacks - Harvey has ZERO credentials to qualify heras credible on issues of sexual orientation - and snake oil.  But for being "ex-gay," Qunilan has no marketable skills or talents. 

As for Michelle Obama, her cardinal sin last night - other than, of course being black - is that she made a positive reference to the gay community.  Joe Jervis summarizes as follows:

 

The First Lady was the surprise final presenter at the Oscars, announcing the Best Picture winner via live video from the White House. In her presentation, Obama gave a nod to the gay community.

"These nine movies took us back in time and all around the world they made us laugh, they made us weep and they made us grip our armrests just a little tighter. They taught us that love can endure against all odds and transform our lives in the most surprising ways, and they reminded us that we can overcome any obstacle if we dig deep enough and fight hard enough and find the courage to believe in ourselves. These lessons apply to all of us no matter who we are or what we look like or where we come from or who we love."

 Needless to say, the wing nuts have gone berserk.
 

Weekend Reflection - Building Social Networks

This afternoon after enduring yesterday's torrential down pours (some areas around here received 10 inches of rain) - we learned that our new industrial sump pumps in the house work -and family medical issues, the boyfriend and I joined some of our friends at the so-called County Club in Virginia Beach for some much needed down time.  The place isn't really a country club - it's the home of a friend who throws pot luck pool parties on Sunday afternoons when the weather permits. The food always ends up being great, the Madras punch is as well, and the camaraderie is wonderful.  I began going to the parties about 6 years ago, well before the boyfriend and I got together.  The mix of attendees varies and while it's typically an older crowd, we do see younger folks, some of whom are worthy of being "male beauties."

Today there were a number of new folks, some of whom are new to the area or who have been out of the social mix for some time.  And it made me think of my struggles after coming out to rebuild a new social world.  Yes, going to social settings where you don't know anyone - or perhaps only a handful of people - can be VERY stressful and unnerving.  But, it is something that one MUST do.  The first "County Club" party I went to I was a wreck, but I persevered and now I have dozens of friends that I might not otherwise have.

My message to those newly out - especially those coming out after years of marriage - is that it's hard work.  To make friends, one needs to make a concerted effort and keep going back to social settings until you get to know people and feel comfortable.  My other advice is to GET INVOLVED in LGBT community organizations.  It is the number one way to meet the kind of individuals one wants as friends - and possible life partners.  Again, it takes and effort and can be scary as hell, but the rewards are well worth the effort.

Sunset view across Lake Smith

Reflections on Out in the Park 2012

I haven't seen crowd estimates yet, but my sense is that we exceeded last year's attendance figure of 17,000 people.  Although the weather was threatening at times, the rain held off and today was a truly wonderful event.  One of the things that really struck me was the fact that we had young and old, gay and straight, black, white, Asian etc. in attendance.  Indeed, the crowd was more representative of Hampton Roads' population than many of the other events that take place in Town Point Park.    Out in the Park reflected the acceptance and recognition of our common humanity that ought to be a daily reality and yet is not most of the time.  Our MC Frank Decaro from XM Radio (pictured with me above) was a delight and so much fun.  As a HR Pride board member, I am proud of what we accomplished today. 

The image below shows one of the boats from the Gay Pride Boat Parade (we have the only pride boat parade in the USA).  The energy ands sense of camaraderie was truly amazing.   I was actually choked up a couple of times at the thought that I had played a role in having this wonderful event become a reality.  Especially for the LGBT youth in attendance.   I never, ever want today's youth to experience the misery, unhappiness and self-hate that dominated my life for so many years.   If I can make a difference, then all of my past heartache has had a purpose.

My sincere thanks go out to all who played a part in putting on today's event.  Hopefully, it will serve as a message to Hampton Roads and all of Virginia that it's time to move into the 21st century and throw religious based ignorance and bigotry on the trash heap of history.  I also give special thanks to Kristine W (who is pictured below and who has a gay brother as it turns out) for her amazing performance and embrace of our community.

Out in the Park 2012 - Hampton Roads Pride

As a member of the board of directors of Hampton Roads Pride, one of the major tasks of the board each year is to put on "Out in the Park" - Hampton Roads' annual gay pride celebration.  After last year's successful event which saw attendance estimates as high as 17,000 people, the board needless to say feels pressured to put on an even more successful event for 2012.  We think that we are well on the way to doing so and have Kristine W and Matt Zarley as headliners and radio personality Frank Decaro from OutQ radio serving as master of ceremonies much of the day.  Full details of the event, event sponsors and why the event is important, especially here in Hampton Roads can be found here via VEER Magazine.

Given the subject of the prior post and the imporance that tolerace plays in an area's economic vitality, I set out below my piece from the VEER Out in the Park piece:

Last year’s presentation of “Out in the Park” by Hampton Roads Pride marked the first time that Hampton Roads has had a LGBT Pride event in a truly prominent venue. And the people did come out in numbers: between 14,000 and 17,000 depending on the estimate used. On Saturday, August 18, 2012, once again “Out in the Park” will take place in the prominent venue of Town Point Park. Some may wonder “Why Pride.” Why is this such a big deal and why is an event like Out in the Park is important? There are a number of reasons, in my view.

The first reason is the reality faced by LGBT Virginians each and every day. As a matter of state policy LGBT Virginians are stigmatized and discrimination is legally permissible. LGBT Virginian’s can be fired at will and have no employment non-discrimination protects. Similarly, LGBT tenants can face housing discrimination, and we receive zero legal recognition of our committed life partner relationships. For younger LGBT Virginians and those perceived to be gay, bully can be relentless with little protections afforded by Virginia’s current laws. If we needed any reminding of our second class citizenship, the recent handling of Tracy Thorne-Begland nomination to the District Court bench in Richmond served as a stark reminder. Although he is well respected and a very qualified Deputy Commonwealth Attorney with credentials superior to those of many sitting judges, Thorne-Begland was not approved by the Virginia House of Delegates for the simple reason that he’s a openly gay man. It is an atmosphere that can be corrosive to one’s very soul.

While Out in the Park does not address this shameful legal reality in Virginia, it can provide a much needed sense of solidarity. Sadly, too many individuals still feel forced to live “in the closet” whether they are members of the military or employed in the private sector. An event like Out in the Park which is open to all, LGBT and straight, allows these individuals an opportunity be themselves in a non-hostile, accepting environment. It also allows teens and youths to realize that they are not the freaks or misfits some among the Christian Right and elsewhere would have them believe themselves to be. For those of us who are “out,” a successful pride event is an opportunity to demonstrate our pride - and experience a sense of empowerment - at who were are in spite of the adversities one faces living in Virginia.

Out in the Park also represents an educational opportunity for the region and can boost its sometimes negative image. In 2010, a Brookings Institute study, Hampton Roads was described as “old, slow and not too bright.” If Hampton Roads wants to attract the so-called “creative class,” the best way to do so is to show that it is tolerant and open to diversity. Out in the Park goes some way towards putting aside Hampton Roads’ dowdy, conservative image. For those outside of the Hampton Roads LGBT community, the Out in the Park event will provide a venue for such individuals to learn that the LGBT community is very diverse with a wide spectrum of individual types and social, racial and professional backgrounds. This LGBT pride event can also educate businesses to the fact that they are overlooking a very significant segment of the community in their marketing plans and business models.

Hopefully, this second Out in the Park event in Town Point Park will further cement the positive experience generated last year.

February 2012 HRBOR Networking Event

HRBOR's February 2012 host is Dr. Erica Steele of Essential Wellness. Essential Wellness describes its mission as bringing affordable, primary care natural medicine to all those that seek alternatives to conventional practices through metabolic testing and natural remedies including homeopathy, botanicals, and herbs. I always find HRBOR's business networking events to be both fun social events and a great way to market one's business. I hope local readers will try to make a point to attend. Here are more details on the Thursday, February 16, 2012 event.

What: Third Thursday Business Net-Working Event

Host: Essential Wellness/Dr. Erica Steele

Where: Essential Wellness
1209 Independence Blvd. Ste 101
Virginia Beach, VA 23455
www.VaBeachWellness.com
(757) 685-4325
(At Haygood, Directly across from MacDonald's Nursery)
When: Thursday, February 16th, from 6 p.m. - 8 p.m.

Food and Beverage Sponsor: Essential Wellness/Dr. Erica Steele, our host

Parking: Ample Parking around the building

Featured Non-profit: Equality Virginia info@equalityvirginia.org | 804-643-4816 | 403 N. Robinson St, Richmond, VA 23220 http://www.equalityvirginia.org/

Cost: Free to Members Guests - $15 Fee

Trevor Project

As longer term readers know, I am a member of the advisory board for the Old Dominion University Gay Cultural Studies Endowment which has as it goal establishing a self-sustaining endowment for a permanent full time post-doctorate position at the University focused on LGBT studies and cultural contributions. This endowed position will focus on the contributions, concerns, and challenges associated with LGBT culture, promote academic research and provides graduate and undergraduate educational course opportunities. In addition, the holder of the position would engage the local Hampton Roads LGBT community and larger business community through ongoing dialogue and community involvement.

In furtherance of our fundraising goal, last night the ODU Gay Cultural Studies Committee hosted an invitation only salon with ODU alumni David McFarland (1984) as the featured speaker. McFarland - pictured in the center of the photo above that includes myself, two other board members of HRBOR and the Executive Director of Equality Virginia - is Interim Executive Director and CEO of The Trevor Project (the leading national organization for awareness and prevention of suicide among LGBT youth). David did a masterful job in tying the efforts of the Trevor Project to prevent gay suicides with the educational and cultural enhancement efforts of the ODU Gay Cultural Studies Endowment.

It is so very important that LGBT youth - both teens and college students - realize that they do have a future and than LGBT individuals in the USA and elsewhere have made amazing contributions to society and civilization. If one listens to the hate merchants of the far right and the Christian Taliban, one would believe that LGBT people contribute little or nothing to society. The truth, of course, provides a very different and positive story. Fortunately, local benefactors seem to be listening and word has it that last nights effort landed a five figure donation.

Anyone who would like to donate to this worthy - and tax deductible cause - can do so here. Be sure to click on enter "Gay Cultural Studies Endowment" as your desired beneficiary.

Super Bowl Reflections

I will be the first to admit that I'm not a pro-sports fan, but nonetheless the boyfriend and I went to a great Super Bowl party in Virginia Beach hosted by our friend who throws the Sunday afternoon pool parties we enjoy so much in the summer. Madonna did a great half time show performance, but for me the best attraction was the gorgeous Tom Brady. It was fun seeing folks in the local LGBT community that we haven't seen much since summer. Thankfully, in not too many months we will be celebrating reopening of the pool.

As for the game, it's true that the Patriots did not win, but Brady was nonetheless beautiful (at least in my opinion). I hope everyone enjoyed their afternoon and evening.

HR Pride's Out in the Park Launch A Huge Success

Some have argued that the day and age has come for localities to cease holding Pride events. In some cities and regions such as New York City and San Francisco that argument may be somewhat true. In bigoted backwaters like Virginia and Hampton Roads, however, I would argue that Pride events continue to play a crucial role in galvanizing the LGBT community itself and in waking up the larger community to the size and diversity of the LGBT community. They can truly shatter the image that we are a small and/or dysfunctional community. Last year's Out in the Park event stunned the City of Norfolk when roughly 17,000 people turned out for the event in Town Point Park in downtown Norfolk. Moreover, the event was described as one of the most orderly and well orchestrated seen by the local police force.

This year, Hampton Roads Pride seeks to put on an even more amazing event - as well as help finance other events throughout the year (e.g., holiday dinners for LGBT individuals disowned by family) to integrate and energize the LGBT community. Last Monday, HR Pride held a launch event to secure sponsors/partners for the 2012 Out in the Park celebration. The launch event was a huge success and raised $38,000 in pledges and cash payments in a single evening. We even had a representative from U.S. Senator Jim Webb's office in attendance. The photos and video below - which include a number of wonderful friends - are a sampling from the event. The sponsorship committee co-chairs, Cindy Cutler and Kathleen Nicholas who deserve great accolades are pictured above. For more information on how to donate to HR Pride or volunteer for Out in the Park and other programs, check out the website here.

Has Obama's Relationship With Gays Thawed in Time for 2012?

A piece in the Huffington Post rambles on about the supposed manner in which Barack Obama's relationship with the LGBT community has thawed in time to help Obama's 2012 re-election bid. But have things really thawed? Or has Obama simple won back the good graces of self-anointed "leaders" of the community - many of whom at times seem more interested in being on the Washington, D.C., and other top tier cities' cocktail party circuit list than going to the mat for our rights. I will admit that I continue to be a skeptic of Obama's good intentions towards the LGBT community. Yes, he's done more that a GOP president would have done, but too often he has refused to exercise leadership. Richard Socarides, president of Equality Matters, is quoted as saying:

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"I think that people always took the president at his word that the commitments he made in the 2008 campaign were heartfelt and that he meant them,"
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I'm not overly comfortable with that assessment. Frankly, the only thing I feel confident in saying is that Obama was "heartfelt" about was wanting the LGBT vote - and, of course, our money. No doubt there will be those who condemn my cynicism, but Obama's refusal to put his private beliefs aside on the issue of gay marriage and many of the inconsistencies of his supposed support leave me questioning what the man really believes. Here are highlights from Huffington Post and the quotes of representatives of Gay, Inc.:
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WASHINGTON -- The relationship between President Barack Obama and gay rights advocates appears to be thawing after two years of mutual distrust, in which each side was more likely to assail the other's motivations than find room for collaboration.
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On Monday, the president's reelection campaign formally announced that he would attend a high-profile LGBT gala in New York City on June 23. The event is set to be emceed by Neil Patrick Harris. It will also feature former Rep. Patrick Murphy (D-Penn.), chief sponsor of the Don't Ask Don't Tell Repeal legislation, as well as Joel Burns, the Fort Worth council member whose emotional plea to stop anti-gay bullying helped make the "It Gets Better" series viral. The event is expected to raise a nice chunk of change for the Obama Victory Fund 2012.
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[E]ven jaded gay rights activists seem eager to find more amicable ground with the administration. "I think that people always took the president at his word that the commitments he made in the 2008 campaign were heartfelt and that he meant them," said Richard Socarides, president of Equality Matters who does not count himself among the jaded.
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Deal-sealing would be a boon to the President's reelection campaign, which has strategically eyed gay rights advocates as lucrative sources of campaign funds. . . . Obama has managed to shore up his position in large part through incremental action, behind-the-scenes maneuvering and subtle winks and signals.
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[I]nstrumental in earning LGBT support was Obama's decision to instruct his Justice Department to stop defending the constitutionality of a controversial provision of the Defense of Marriage Act in courts. "It was something only he could do, and it sent a strong message," said Steve Elmendorf, a prominent Democratic strategist and gay rights advocate. "It signaled that he is moving on marriage."
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Still, Elmendorf said, Obama is "not where he needs to be on marriage. The energy in the community is obviously focused on marriage right now, but they also realize it is a state issue and there is nothing immediate Obama can do so long as John Boehner is Speaker."
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There will be some concerned with LGBT issues who, out of apathy or disappointment, simply sit out the 2012 cycle. But the majority are expect to overcome their grievances. "If you look at [Monday's] Republican presidential debate, any one of those people are very scary for gay Americans," said Socarides.
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Once again, we will be supporting the candidate who is "less scary" and be expected to throw our money at that candidate like Pavlov's dog.