Sunday Morning Reflections

It's been a busy weekend so far, and today the boyfriend and I will probably just chill and recharge - maybe a movie and a bike ride along our street that runs along Hampton Roads for a distance of about three miles (the photo is a view towards the Norfolk Naval Base on the other side of the harbor). Reflecting over the period of time since I came out, so much has changed from the days when I had my entire social circle more or less dissolve, leaving me often despondent. That thankfully lost world of closeted suburbia has been replaced with a large social circle and often too busy social life. This weekend has been a case in point and demonstrates that things do get better, even if not at the pace we'd like at times. Friday evening kicked the weekend off with a costume party hosted by friends - the boy friend was a pirate with a Louis XIV style wig and I went as my standard Dracula wearing tails that I bought many years ago in Mobile, Alabama for Mardi Gras, and face paint mixed with glitter to give me a "True Blood" iridescence. Since it was an all gay and lesbian crowd, it goes without saying that some of the other costumes were amazing.

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Then yesterday I had an all day HRBOR board retreat where we recharged as a board and worked on details for a Winter Wine and Food event scheduled for January 22, 2011 that HRBOR will be hosting as a fund raiser. When I receive e-mails from individuals who are heterosexual marriages and beginning the coming out process, one thing I stress to them is GET INVOLVED in organizations within the LGBT community. It's the best way to meet like minded people and rebuild your life. It is hard at times to describe how huge a role HRBOR has played in getting me to the point I have achieved in terms of now having a large circle of friends - not to mention increased self acceptance. Since I and nine others founded HRBOR (we launched in May, 2007) the various board members have become wonderful friends. Better yet, together we have all grown in terms of building our businesses and in dedication to our mission to make a difference for the LGBT community in this region. It has been an arduous task at times, but with dealings with the City of Hampton on the issue of the revitalization of the Phoebus area of the city and the recent addition of the Norfolk Convention & Visitors Bureau as a member of HRBOR, we are clearly opening minds and making progress.

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Following a full day, we went to an ACCESS AIDS Care dinner hosted at the home of friends in Norfolk - it was billed as a wine and murder mystery evening. (We will be hosting our own fundraiser dinner for that organization next Friday evening.) After that, we went to The Wave to dance for a couple hours before heading back to Hampton. On Halloween eve, the costumes at the dance club were pretty creative. No one does Halloween costumes better than the LGBT crowd.

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It does get better. My situation is but one example. My message to those coming out in mid-life is be patient. It is truly a years long process, but it is survivable.