I am happy to report that the depositions went far better than expected today and there really was no gay bashing - perhaps in party because my attorney let the other side know that he had the phone number for the duty judge's chambers (by coincidence the judge on duty today goes to my church and knows me, so I almost wish they'd acted up) at his finger tips and would call the judge if anything in appropriate was said or asked.
However, afterwards the estranged spouse's made a settlement proposal that would buy me my complete freedom - the price: essentially everything I have except my law firm, my highly mortgaged house and a ten year old car. She even wants all my IRA's. In short, 30 years of work and largely nothing to show for it. Meanwhile, she still has no full time job notwithstanding all her education and advanced degree and doctoral course work (she's a real blood sucker). Needless to say, her "settlement" is NOT acceptable. I will submit a counter offer, but do not know where the warfare is headed.
The moral to any of you closet cases thinking of getting married to women - DO NOT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!! I REPEAT, DO NOT DO IT!!!!!! And the moral if you are married and coming out, DO NOT LET THEM PLAY ON YOUR MISPLACED SENSE OF GUILT so that you are overly generous. They will turn on you before it's over. I went out of my way to be generous and to do the right thing by the estranged wife and my thanks is that she wants to totally fuck me over. I guess no good deed goes unpunished as they say. She's so eaten up with hate and anger that she has become a total stranger to me.
I am sorry if my tone is so cold, but it upsets me to no end that I worked hard and sacrificed, and now I receive credit for none of it. I guess I was a total fool.
3 comments:
I really wonder at what point society became so downright nasty. It is never enough to walk away any more, you have to pound the other party into the pavement until they are nothing more than a grease spot on the tarmac.
It reminds me of something various comedians and social commentators have remarked on over the past few years... there is never a challenge to eliminate a problem, it's always a war on something. Divorce became the divorce wars. Arguments became the homefront wars. Companies screwing their employees became the workplace wars, etc.
And the sad thing is, as much as you tell people, it will still happen. If a recent article in a publication here is any indicator, I think there are still quite the number who marry to "fit in". The article discusses the number of "straight" guys who you find on hook-up sites, the dating agencies that hook-up married people who are looking to "spice up" their life... the number of cars with child seats in the back who are seen in "cruising" areas, etc.
You're right, it's just not worth the aggravation.
(And your tone is not cold, I can completely get where you are at right at this moment.)
NO! You were NOT a fool. If our words define our reality ~ and I believe wholeheartedly they do ~ do NOT give her this power. Do Not let her make you see yourself as a fool. You were a person who trusted. The fact that she has become untrustworthy is NOT YOUR FAULT.
Yes, I feel passionately about this. I went through my own version of it, myself. Yes, I may be projecting ;) Still, don't let her do it.
Stay strong. That's very different from cold.
not a fool my friend, you did what i did, marry to fit in to society at the time when we were not accepted at all.....hang in there and don't let her suck you dry....course i should talk........
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