Andrew Sullivan to Leave Blogging After 15 Years

The husband and me with Andrew Sullivan at a fundraiser

Out gay blogger Andrew Sullivan - who I have had the privilege of meeting - has announced that he will be leaving blogging in due course.  Some days Andrew outrages me, especially with his refusal to face the reality that the Roman Catholic Church is systemically flawed and his opposition to hate crimes laws, but other times he amazingly sums up a situation in prose that I can only wish I could author.  In a post today, he summarizes the reasons behind his decision.  Here are excerpts:

Why? Two reasons. The first is one I hope anyone can understand: although it has been the most rewarding experience in my writing career, I’ve now been blogging daily for fifteen years straight (well kinda straight). That’s long enough to do any single job. In some ways, it’s as simple as that. There comes a time when you have to move on to new things, shake your world up, or recognize before you crash that burn-out does happen.

The second is that I am saturated in digital life and I want to return to the actual world again. I’m a human being before I am a writer; and a writer before I am a blogger, and although it’s been a joy and a privilege to have helped pioneer a genuinely new form of writing, I yearn for other, older forms. I want to read again, slowly, carefully. . . . . I want to write a book. 

I want to spend some real time with my parents, while I still have them, with my husband, who is too often a ‘blog-widow’, my sister and brother, my niece and nephews, and rekindle the friendships that I have simply had to let wither because I’m always tied to the blog. And I want to stay healthy. I’ve had increasing health challenges these past few years. They’re not HIV-related; my doctor tells me they’re simply a result of fifteen years of daily, hourly, always-on-deadline stress. These past few weeks were particularly rough – and finally forced me to get real.

I can completely understand the burn out aspect Andrew describes.  Likewise, my husband can understand the "blog-widow" statement since, even though I blog at nowhere the level of Andrew, each day, more or less 365 days per year, I spend numerous hours scanning the news and stories and then writing posts.  Oh, and the hunt for daily "male beauties" likewise can be time consuming since I strive to never disappoint. 

Will I follow Andrew's example and end the blog?  I really don't know.  It is hard to describe, but over the last almost seven years of daily blogging, I have made amazing connections with people literally from all over the world including Europe, Australia, across the USA and most recently a reader in Ghana.  The other aspect of blogging is that it can be a great way to vent as some of my truly long time readers can recall from the dark days of my coming out, suicide attempts and an unpleasant divorce.  If and when I decide to stop blogging, I will let readers know.  The other option is to take on some co-contributors, as

summing anyone would be interested.

When The Dish ends, it will join another former favorite, Pam's House Blend, which ended when blogger friend Pam Spaulding finally burned out. I wish Andrew the best and I hope he can finally come to terms with his inability to walk away from the Catholic Church.

Homosexuality at Wingnut Patrick Henry College?

Virginia sadly has more than its share of loony bin crazy educational institutions including Pat Robertson's Regent University and the late Jerry Falwell's Liberty University.  But perhaps the craziest of all is Patrick Henry College ("PHC") located in Purcellville, Virginia, which is an Evangelical institution with an enrollment of approximately 325.  Patrick Henry College was founded by home school champion Mike Farris, a failed right wing politician, who takes Kool-Aid drinking to nearly unknown levels.  Now, Farris is acting like Iran's Ahmadinejad (Farris is indeed just as crazy and extreme) and claiming that homosexuality cannot possible exist at his bizarre Christianist institution.  The firestorm started back in July when three anonymous writers with ties to the school launched a controversial blog titled Queer at Patrick Henry College. Frankly, I am not surprised that closet cases exist at PHC.  Friends who used to live in Lynchburg, the home of Liberty University, have related how the gay chat rooms and hook up sites were always filled with married Liberty faculty members and Liberty students.  The Loudoun Times looks at this entertaining controversy.  Here are highlights:

Gay students at Patrick Henry College in Purcellville don’t exist. They can’t exist.  So says Dr. Michael Farris, the college’s founder and chancellor.  It’s simple, really. Homosexuals can’t exist at Patrick Henry College because the students sign an honor code, Farris claimed. “[Homosexuals] could not sign our honor code,” Farris said, adding that he considers the actions of gay men and women “sinful.” “Part of the honor code is to be sexually pure,” he added.

So you can imagine the chancellor’s consternation when he learned of Queer at Patrick Henry College, a six-month-old, provocatively-titled blog operated by three pseudonymous writers – all of whom graduated from or have taken classes at the school.

Queer at Patrick Henry College’s intent is to be a “safe online space for closeted students and alumni to share thoughts about LGBTQ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning) issues, without the risk of school punishment,” according to one of the blog’s founders, who goes by the nom de plume Kate Kane.

“Currently there are three contributors, though we are in contact with other students and graduates who are LGBTQ or identify as straight allies,” Kane said.  Kane and co-founder Alan Scott told the Times-Mirror the reasons for anonymity range from not yet “coming out” to friends and family to professional connections to the school.

The pseudonyms were not chosen by accident. Katherine Kane is the name of “Batwoman” in DC Comics. Kane’s character has received attention for being arguably the most prominent LGBT superhero. Alan Scott is the fictional name of DC Comics’ Golden Age “Green Lantern,” who was recently reintroduced in the series as a gay superhero. The third regular blogger at Queer at Patrick Henry, Captain Jack, takes the name of Jack Harkness, a character from the BBC’s “Doctor Who” and its spinoff “Torchwood.” Harkness is the first non-heterosexual character in televised “Doctor Who.” 

Dr. Farris is not a fan. On Dec. 1 the chancellor sent a message to Queer at Patrick Henry through Facebook.   “This page is in violation of our copyright of the name Patrick Henry College,” Farris wrote. “... you must remove this page at once. On Monday, we will began (sic) the legal steps to seek removal from Facebook and from the courts if necessary. In the process of this matter we can seek discovery from Facebook to learn your identity and seek damages from you as permitted by law. The best thing for all concerned is for you to simply remove this page.”  The next day, Farris withdrew his legal bluff. Again through Facebook, the chancellor and constitutional lawyer stated: “After further consultation, I withdraw my note from yesterday. While we believe in the inappropriate nature of the use of our trademarked name, we believe that litigation is not appropriate.”

But Farris’ correspondence had already put in motion a stirring week on campus, according to people familiar with the situation.  A  source close to the college, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, told the Times-Mirror the blog was “all anyone [was] talking about” on campus.

Upon launching Queer at Patrick Henry (queerPHC.wordpress.com), Kane and Scott were inspired by blogs at other Christian colleges, namely BJUnity at Bob Jones University in upstate South Carolina. Kane and Scott recalled wishing there was a similar support network and outlet for Patrick Henry College students that felt they had no one to talk with about sexuality and the range of emotions that go with realizing one is gay.  “Since we didn’t see any other PHC students or alumni stepping forward to create such a network, we decided to start QPHC,” Kane said.

Known as a favorite institution for Evangelical parents and their children, Patrick Henry College has an estimated enrollment of 325, many of which were homeschooled in their pre-college years. In addition to the college, Farris is the founder of the Home School Legal Defense Association (HSLDA), which maintains a close connection with the school – the Purcellville campus serves as the HSLDA headquarters.

 

Scott said he knows numerous students who have experienced feelings of isolation and loneliness because of their sexuality. The college can feel “very oppressive at times,” he said, which is why the blog is so essential.  “Queer at Patrick Henry wants to make sure [students] know theyaren’t alone and that it is possible to both accept one’s queerness and continue strongly in one’s faith,” Scott said.

In his comments to the Times-Mirror, Farris made clear Patrick Henry College is not a friendly environment for homosexuals.

One question naturally comes to mind when considering Patrick Henry College and gay rights and tolerance: “Why would an openly gay, bisexual or transgender person, or someone who’s questioning their sexuality, choose to attend a hard-line Christian institution?”  "It’ s a good question,” Kane said. “And there are a few answers ... I know for me, if my parents were going to sign off on a loan for school, it had to be fundamentalist college.” (Farris said he does not consider the school to be “fundamentalist.”) 

Scott and other sources maintain a surge of conversations about gay issues have come about since word of Farris’ threat spread.  “I remain hopeful for the possibility of more positive interactions with [administration] in the future,” Scott said. “I look forward to when it is possible to have mature, open, honest and loving conversation about LGBTQ issues at PHC without students or alumni experiencing fear of reprisal, rejection, or shaming.” 

In my opinion, few people are more unhinged from reality than Mike Farris.  I love it that Queer at Patrick Henry is forcing Farris to have at least some slight experience with reality and the fact that God made some of us gay notwithstanding the writings of ignorant Neolithic herders that Farris embraces as the literal truth.

Obama - The Least Bad Option for the LGBT Community

Proving once again that he's spineless and ever ready to throw LGBT Americans under the bus - after a shake down of our money first - Barack Obama said last night at an A-list LGBT fundraiser in New York City that marriage equality is an issue best left to the states. Where would Mr. Obama and many black Americans be today if that had been the attitude taken towards racial equality during the 1960's? The statement is a cop out and an outright insult. I truly do not believe anything that Obama says at this point. The Washington Blade has these highlights on Obama's latest betrayal:
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President Obama reiterated on Thursday that the marriage issue should be left to the states during an LGBT fundraiser in New York City that took place amid increasing pressure for him to endorse marriage rights for gay couples.
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Obama drew on his opposition to the Defense of Marriage Act, which prohibits same-sex marriage, in his remarks on the New York marriage bill and leaving the issue to the states. The president has called for legislative repeal of DOMA and, in February, announced the law was unconstitutional and his administration would no longer defend it in court. “Part of the reason that DOMA doesn’t make sense is that traditionally marriage has been decided by the states,” Obama said.
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About 600 donors, mostly male, sat at round tables in a large ballroom for the $1,250-a-plate dinner at the Sheraton Hotel and Towers in New York. Gay actor Neil Patrick Harris and Capt. Jonathan Hopkins, a West Point graduate who was discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” introduced Obama at the start of the event.
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The whole affair translates to "I don't give a crap about you or your lives, but please give me your money." A column in the Guardian looks at Obama's record on LGBT issues and describes him as "the least bad option." Here are highlights from that column:
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This intensive media campaign [by the White House] has been put into motion precisely because not everyone's on board. Talks with major LGBT donors, bloggers, and activists reveal marked discontent with the gap between the candidate who promised to be a "fierce advocate" for LGBT Americans and the president who has delivered no legislative victory besides repeal of "don't ask, don't tell" – and that under great duress. (I'm not counting the Hate Crimes Prevention Act as an Obama victory because Congress did all the hard work, while Obama merely signed it into law.)
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Otherwise, Obama's contributions have amounted to little more than a generous sprinkling of what blogger Pam Spaulding calls "baby steps for equality" or "Cinderella Crumbs". These are "a shiny, beautiful, breathtaking accomplishment that turns into a pumpkin at midnight – in this case, whenever a future homophobic president decides to rescind the baby step."
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[A]s Robin McGehee, the director and co-founder of GetEQUAL, puts it, "We were promised the Acura with all the accoutrements, but wound up with a stripped-down Honda instead."
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Of course, you'd never know there were hordes of politically active LGBT people who are ticked off with Obama from reading the mainstream press. Major strategic placements by Obama's people in that realm include the gay-donors-fuel-Obama's-2012-campaign story they fed to Politico, now being featured in a magazine widely distributed at Los Angeles Pride. . . . a powerful core of primarily LGBT grassroots activists and bloggers aren't drinking the Kool-Aid.
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Other signs of discontent include last week's brawl at Netroots Nation, a national gathering of progressive activists and bloggers. . . . . And then there are the physical manifestations of discontent. The ones that protesters outside of tonight's LGBT Gala will carry include "Evolve Already" and "Do you believe in evolution? We do."
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Candidate Obama promised LGBT people the world in 2008, and our community provided a disproportionate amount of the money, volunteer hours and enthusiasm so crucial to his win. Now, when he and the DNC are back to woo us for 2012, is the time to ask for more than vague assurances of hope and change.

Focus On the Rainbow Editor in Auto Accident

One of the first blogger friends I made when I first launched this blog in earnest back in April, 2007, was Lyndon Evans, editor of Focus on the Rainbow and a contributor to Pam's House Blend. Sadly, Lyndon was in a car accident Friday night/Saturday morning. He had an allergic reaction and passed out while driving and struck another car, then a pole, then a tree. Lyndon has had successful surgery and is doing relatively well and I hope to get to talk to him by telephone tomorrow evening.

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I hope readers will keep Lyndon in their thoughts and prayers. He's been a consistent true friend to me through the tough times: horrible divorce, break up with the ex-boyfriend and my suicide attempt back in late September, 2009. He has a heart of gold and I wish him a speedy recovery.
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Lyndon, you mean a lot to many of us. Please know that we love you.
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NOTE: I will provide an update once I talk to Lyndon directly.

The Benefits of Gay Blogs for the LGBT Community

Admittedly, there are days when I feel like letting this blog die. It's a major time commitment and it's an effort to try to find interesting and at times different thought provoking things to write about. Search agents help, but it still takes time - as does finding male beauty photos which are still a lure for some readers (yep, Don, I'm thinking of you) who by the way do claim to read the articles as well. On the plus side, writing is good therapy for me and since I cannot afford to be on meds and seeing a therapist, blogging fills a void. Of course, the biggest plus is when I receive a wonderful message from some reader whom I unwittingly have touched. An article at Ezines Articles has identified other benefits of gay blogs - even if LGBT blogs are none too popular with the Obama crowd at the White House. In fact, the article makes the proposition that gay blogs help gays worldwide. Here are some highlights:
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In the information age, blogs have become important and popular tools that are instrumental to distributing knowledge and news to wide and diverse populations. As such, blogs are necessary tools for any group wishing to keep its members abreast of new information and developments. While blogs are important to any group, because of the way the LGBT community is spread out around the country and the world, gay blogs are even more important in making sure that all are kept up to date on items that are relevant and vital to LGBTs.
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One important benefit of gay blogs is that they promote greater awareness of issues that are important to the LGBT community. . . . Data about progress in one area could provide a way for others to push forward in another area.
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Another benefit of gay blogs is that they provide a way for LGBTs to meet other people and to discuss trends that they see occurring within the community or greater societal happenings that could ultimately cause an impact on other LGBTs.
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While news about progress and trends are helpful, blogs can have an even more tangible plus. As LGBTs are still often victims of discrimination and violence, blogs can have the very real impact of warning others about specific incidents and rallying people to fight institutions that continue to promote discrimination.
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Every day, LGBTs win more battles for equality and host more events that celebrate its members and their contributions. As a result, blogs can help spread news of these victories, which can serve as inspirations to others, and promote knowledge of and attendance at these events, so that they can achieve the greatest degree of success.
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A final important advantage to gay blogs is to raise funds and support for gay causes and LGBT friendly politicians. Every success for the LGBT community requires money and manpower to drive it further. Blogs are vital tools in rallying these resources and increased readership of gay blogs can help to form a more vibrant and engaged social force.
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Gay blogs have a vast potential to drive change, promote awareness, and mold a greater sense of family for LGBTs everywhere. Perhaps the greatest benefit of all is that gay blogs remind LGBTs that they truly are a community.

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I can personally state that blogging HAS made me feel more of a part of a larger community, both in terms of interactions with other bloggers and also in terms of knowing that others are enduring and battling along with me for the day when anti-gay bigotry and homophobia will be largely a thing of the past. Making a difference for the better is something I very much want to do.

Obama Prepares to Address LGBT Crowd at White House 'Pride' Reception

I continue to have very low expectations for the White House Pride reception today. Indeed, I see it as just one more crumb being disingenuously thrown to the LGBT community. Real action is needed, not just more meaningless window dressing. I am hardly alone in this feeling. As Chris Johnson at the Washington Blade reports, many continue to be most unhappy with Obama:
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Many activists, including LGBT bloggers, have expressed displeasure with the White House for holding a Pride reception with so many issues outstanding for the LGBT community — and for restricting the invitations to the event.
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Robin McGehee, co-chair of GetEqual, the group responsible for many recent protests on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and other issues key to the LGBT community, expressed skepticism about the reception and said she saw it as a fundraising effort for the Democratic Party.
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McGehee, who wasn’t invited to the reception, said invitees should only go to the White House if they intend to advocate on behalf of LGBT people before the president and shouldn’t take part in the event as recreation.
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“In reference to the leadership that’s going in, I hope that it’s not just going in to share tea or cocktails, but it’s actually to go in and come out with answers about when the ['Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell'] discharges are going to stop and when ENDA’s going to get to the floor for a vote,” she said.
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As for who has been invited, the only plus is that the typical self-anointed LGBT apologists for the Obama administration are not on the list. Here's more from the Blade on the invite list:
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The White House is holding Tuesday’s reception, which features remarks from Obama, to commemorate June as Pride month. The number of invitees and the specific names of people who received invitations wasn’t public before deadline.
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People speaking anonymously to the Blade have said invitations generally were restricted to the heads of state equality groups, members of the LGBT community with compelling stories and a contingent of LGBT youth.
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It would be nice if Obama was actually moved to action by some of these compelling stories, but I for one will not be holding my breath.

Does The Gay Media Have A Sex Addiction?

I did not comment on it at the time, but a few weeks ago a major debate erupted on The Bilerico Project as a result of a post that editor-in-chief Bil Browning put up that discussed a website featuring Mormon guys masturbating. That post in turn caused Bilerico contributor David Badash to announce that he was bailing from Bilerico. Since I am a contributor to Bilerico myself, I tried to stay neutral. Now, Mediaite has a piece bearing the caption of this post that looks at the Bilerico snafu as well as the larger issue of sexual context on LGBT blogs and I left a comment with my perspective on the issue which is relevant to this blog as well as many others. I would like to hear readers' thoughts on the topic. Here are some highlights from the Mediaite column:
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For David Badash, a Bilerico Project post about a website featuring Mormon guys masturbating was the final straw. The New York blogger at the The New Civil Rights Movement announced quite publicly recently that he was no longer going to write for the brainy, activist blog that is the Huffington Post of the LGBT blog world.The back and forth between Bilerico’s founder Bil Browning and Badash has unearthed one of the dirty secrets about the LGBT (old and new) media world: sex sells and sex is interesting.
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Sexuality isn’t a dirty word for many LGBT media consumers and glorifying–even objectifying–sexuality isn’t problematic. In responding to Badash’s concerns, Browning conceded “[s]exy pictures always bring in viewers. I’m not ashamed of using that mentality to continue to bring new readers to one of the smartest, sharpest and controversial LGBT websites where you can talk openly about anything remotely queer.”
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Browning called the correlation between sexy posts, increased page views, and advertising impressions that lead to more income a “win-win” and that the content of the site was not lessened by a few posts that have a sexual content that appeal to gay men. Browning’s site is not all “boys in underwear” and porn links; far from it. With a large number of lesbian and transgender columnists, it reads more like a queer studies lecture than a porn-script.
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Andy Towle, the founder of the very successful Towleroad site, says that he includes sexy pictures because they are among the interesting things he finds online but that he isn’t intentionally posting boys in underwear just to get hits. “I’ve never used sexy pictures and posts as a device to drive traffic,” Towle told Mediaite.
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“I’ve had to abide by stricter rules as my site has become more successful because top advertisers have different expectations,” Towle said. Mainstream advertisers are wary of adult content and links to adult websites, Towle explained, meaning that he has to be conscious of what he puts on his site to avoid offending ad networks even if similar content on a non-gay website wouldn’t raise eyebrows.
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So what are my thoughts on the issue? Obviously, I continue to post the "male beauty" photos. At the same time, I endeavor to keep the photos non-X-rated for the very reason cited by Andy Towle: I do not want the blog to be marked as an adult site with warning disclaimers before one can enter. Here is the comment I left on the Mediaite story:
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I can understand each side of the argument, but in the final analysis believe that as a blogger, one is trying to attract multiple audiences. Thus, I am not offended by some beefcake if it is tasteful and PG-rated. In fact, on my own blog, Michael-in-Norfolk, I intermix some tasteful, artistic male beauty (many are fashion model shots) with a daily series of posts on topics that can cover advocacy, politics, religion, gay rights, world and local events and other topics. Most readers focus on the serious posts, yet also enjoy the “eye candy.”

Having now achieved some reputation for the serious pieces, I still have not eliminated the male beauty on my blog. Why? Because both my gay male readers and my straight women readers like them (I actually have a number of them). Indeed, I once put up a poll on whether or not to delete the male beauty and 70% of respondents said to keep the male beauty. I don’t fault Bil Browning for “mixing it up” with the Mormon boy post . If nothing else, by doing so he’s secured publicity for The Bilerico Project on websites like this one. Oh, I almost forgot – I really like the “Huffington Post of the LGBT blog world” comment!

Sad News

Yesterday I learned that the father of BlogActive.com and PageOneQ editor, Mike Rogers died over the holidays. I first got to know Mike in 2004 during the effort to out closeted GOP Congressman, Ed Schrock, who had the second most anti-gay voting record in Congress while he hypocritically advertised for gay trysts in the Hampton Roads area. I got to know Mike even better over the subsequent years and at the LGBT Blogger Summit he put together in December, 2008. I hope readers will keep Mike and his family in their thoughts and prayers as they go through this difficult time. Having lost my father in 2006, it is a rough experience regardless of one's relationship with the lost parent.

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In other sad news, yesterday I also learned from fellow LGBT bloggers that Stephen Heersink, who authored a blog called Gayspecies died on December 29, 2009. Stephen and I did not always agree on issues and our relationship could turn nasty at times (a month or so ago he let me have it on his blog, and I returned the favor). But in his final message to me shortly after that encounter, he was supportive and endorsed my efforts to talk about coming out later in life and perhas give hope to others. Moreover, during some of my darkest times a year or two back, he always offered a sympathetic ear. As Wayne Dynes notes on his blog, Stephen was an defender of gay rights. In his last posting, he looked at the first gay marriage to achieve legal status in Latin America--in southern Argentina. Stephen, may you rest in peace.

Love and Support From Around the World

Recently, I have received some absolutely beautiful messages from readers that have been most supportive of me and thanking me for writing this blog. Today, I received such a message from a reader in the Loire Valley region of France. I responded to the author privately, but also wanted to say a public "thank you." Personally, I feel the thanks should go out to readers and not vice versa. I had been rather down emotionally this morning over financial issues, so the message was a wonderful gift that literal re-energized me.

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Having passed the 150,000 visitor mark a short while ago, I am amazed (and thrilled) that people continue to find value/entertainment in what I write. All too often, it's the threatening/insulting messages from Christianists and hate filled homophobes that welcome me upon logging on to the computer in the morning. While such messages can be disconcerting, the fact that they hit a raw nerve with their authors means to me that perhaps I have hit upon the truth in voicing my opinions and views. In Virginia, James Dobson's minions at The Family Foundation even follow the blog and regularly get their panties in a wad.

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Candidly, this blog has come to mean a great deal to me and it has allowed me to get to know individuals that I would otherwise never have connected with, both within the blogging community, gay rights organizations, and in the local LGBT community. There have even been days where not wanting to "fail my readers" in terms of surviving has helped hold me back from otherwise dangerous thoughts. Together with the boyfriend, friends and family members, this blog is often a lifeline for me. I want to again say "thank you" to all my loyal readers, including Tim in France.

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While we joke about it, the boyfriend knows that his only real "rival" other than my children is the Internet and this blog. He says at times, he'd expect to find me convulsing on the floor if I was not able to log on for an extended period of time. I am addicted - that much I will confess. And he indulges me in this passion of mine.

Join Us Wednesday Night On Gay Agenda BlogTalkRadio

UPDATE: We had an enjoyable hour and a half wide ranging conversation on Blog Radio. If anyone has an interest in hearing the show, you can do so by going here and clicking "play" on tonights episode. Thanks James for hosting.

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This blogger and host, James Hipps of Gay Agenda, as well as Lyndon Evans of Focus on the Rainbow, and others bloggers will be talking about gay issues and the community Wednesday night, December 16 between 8 PM and 9 PM (ET). Lyndon is one of my first blogosphere friends and James was also an attendee at the LGBT Blogger Summit last December in Washington, D.C.

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NOTE – Because there may be some other LGBT bloggers joining tonight’s open forum, the show will be extended to 9:30 PM.
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It will be an open forum of any topics that come to mind. You can listen, call-in to talk or join the chat at Gay Agenda on BlogTalkRadio.

A Very Humbling and Beautiful Message

Since I began this blog in earnest back in April, 2007, it has become a significant part of my life and, yes, something very addictive. It helps me vent my frustrations - and at times rage - at the injustice faced by LGBT individuals around the world. In addition, it has opened up numerous friendships and activist opportunities that I value deeply. Fortunately, the boyfriend understands and accepts my daily ritual of posting a couple of things in the morning before breakfast and then an evening session online as we watch TV or he works on Salon paperwork while I satisfy my news junkie needs and work up three to four more posts. In the process of doing the blog, I rarely see myself as doing much of consequence for others. Then, out of the blue I get a message such as this one concerning "Monday Melt Down - Update" that blows me away:

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Michael: Please take care of yourself, and let others care for you who want to. how can the thousands of us who benefit from your blog help you? Let us know--we want to assist.

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As I continue to work, one day at a time, on my own coming out process, separation and pending divorce, and questioning whether there will ever be love and happiness in my life again, you and your wisdom, insights and experiences are what I have counted on almost everyday these past 14 months.

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Thank you for all you to for so many. You must "do" for yourself, too, my friend.

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Jon

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Jon, I want to thank you for the beautiful message. I am truly humbled by you kind words. Just be confident that you WILL find happiness and love. The journey may be difficult - I feel at times that my life is like an afternoon soap opera - but it can be done. That said, I DO want to make a difference and messages like yours help me see that there is meaning and perhaps a purpose for what I go through in my darkest hours.

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As for your question, what can readers do for me? Keep on reading the blog and tell others about it. In addition, share your own stories so that I can highlight them in a post or send me information on yourself and a photo so that I can get to know you - or even do a post profiling you under a "My Readers" posts. My view is that all of us gays are in this life adventure together and that the best thing we can do is support and provide understanding to one another. If we do not provide it to one another, no one else will. I can always be reached via e-mail at michaelinnorfolk@gmail.com.

Influence of Gay Bloggers Highlighted in Washington Post

The Washington Post has an article up today entitled "Gay Bloggers' Voices Rise in Chorus of Growing Political Influence" that among other things profiles Pam Spaulding of Pam's House Blend. Having met Pam at the LGBT Blogger Summit last December, I can vouch for her intelligence, quick wit and great sense of humor. Ditto for Mike Rogers also mentioned in the article. The article also notes several other "must read" blogs that include the Bilerico Project for which I am now a contributor through Bilerico-DC (that blog's formal launch will be on March 2, 2009). The article likewise notes how the gay political presence online is helping to re-energize and strengthen the gay rights movement in a bottom-up manner, with bloggers from off the beaten track having the ability to be involved. I congratulate Pam, Mike and other gay bloggers - a number of whom I met at the Summit - for their efforts to make a difference. Here are some story highlights:

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Only the blogosphere, perhaps, has room for Pam Spaulding -- a black lesbian who lives in North Carolina, the only state in the South that has not banned same-sex marriage. "California, Arizona and Florida all passed marriage amendments in November," says Spaulding, 44, an IT manager by day and a round-the-clock blogger. "All eyes are on North Carolina now." . . . What she doesn't write is that, so long as she's blogging, what happens in North Carolina won't stay in the Tar Heel State.

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Pam's House Blend is an influential voice in the gay political blogosphere, must-reads that include the Bilerico Project, Towleroad and AMERICAblog, each attracting a few hundred to a few thousand hits a day. Just as the liberal Net-roots and the conservative "rightroots" movements have affected traditional party structures, the still relatively small gay political presence online is rebooting the gay rights movement in a decentralized, spontaneous, bottom-up way. It's spreading news via blogs, Facebook and Twitter. Online, a story about two 16-year-old girls in a Lutheran private school in California being expelled for "conducting themselves in a manner consistent with being lesbians" -- as the school's lawyer describes it -- goes viral. And hits nerves.

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In the past, someone like Spaulding would have been relegated to the sidelines. She doesn't work for national gay rights organizations such as the Human Rights Campaign or the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. She lives with her partner, Kate, an audiologist, in Durham, far from San Francisco, New York or Washington, where gay activism has been historically based. But now she's helping shape the agenda, one voice in a chorus of sometimes dissonant, sometimes harmonious, often in-your-face voices that is pushing established gay groups and redefining the meaning of grass-roots action in this new media age.

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"What happened after Proposition 8 caught the national gay groups completely off guard. I think it surprised them. I think it really showed them that when it comes to harnessing grass-roots energy, they need to get online," says Kevin Naff, editor of the Washington Blade, a gay newspaper. "What happened online came together overnight for little or no money, and the protests were covered by the mainstream press. If national groups wanted to coordinate the kind of mass protests we saw, they would spend $1 million and take six months to do it."

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Though Andrew Sullivan, the openly gay Washington media veteran, has been blogging since 2000, for many, the gay political presence online began nearly five years ago. That's when blogger Mike Rogers, a longtime activist, began outing gay staffers on Capitol Hill who worked for Republicans supporting what he called "anti-gay" policies. It was controversial, it was provocative, it got everyone's attention. But the gay political blogosphere wasn't just about outing. From the outset, it highlighted issues that bloggers felt were misunderstood, back-burnered or not fully covered by the mainstream media.

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For instance, when it was announced that the Rev. Rick Warren, whose megachurch in Orange County, Calif., endorsed Prop. 8, would deliver the invocation at Barack Obama's inauguration, gay bloggers pounced. . . . On inauguration weekend, when the opening prayer by Episcopal Bishop V. Gene Robinson, the first openly gay priest to be ordained as a bishop in a major Christian church, was excluded from the live HBO broadcast of the concert at Lincoln Memorial, bloggers pounced again. HBO ended up re-airing the broadcast with Robinson, and pressure from the gay blogosphere was one of the reasons why.

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And the sheer diversity of blogs written by gays, lesbians and transgenders proves that, like all minority groups, the gay community is not monolithic. Though they may blog about the same topic -- say, Prop. 8 -- it doesn't mean they'll arrive at the same conclusion.

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Spaulding started blogging in 2004, the year 11 states passed laws banning same-sex marriage. She blogged because she wanted to express her frustration, not because she thought people would actually read her postings. But slowly, through online word of mouth, people did. Her influence is not due to the total number of people who read her -- she averages about 8,000 unique visitors a day -- but the kind of people who do, many of whom are movers and shakers in the gay community.

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"Obama has said over and over again that his will be an inclusive presidency," Spaulding says. "So we'll see. Words are just words. They must become actions. Everyone will be closely watching." Including this blogging black lesbian from the South.