Bermuda 2019 - Days 3 and 4

I never finished blogging about the remainder of our Bermuda trip due to the hectic day we had on Saturday and then or departure on Sunday which involved a lengthy wait in Philadelphia which ended our plan to be home early in the evening. To say the wedding was over the top would be an understatement, beginning with the ceremony on the beach officiated by a former Prime Minister of the island country, to a cocktail party on the stunning terrace of the Coral Beach and Tennis Club, to a amazing tented dinner and dancing on the club's lush grounds. 

cocktail party venue.

Us in "Bermuda formal"

Dinner venue

The first dance

I also cannot say enough positive things about our stay at the St. Helier guesthouse which can be booked through AirBnB or Bermuda Rentals.  The proprietors, Sallie and Scott are wonderful hosts and provide great breakfasts and hospitality, are a treasure trove of information and very LGBT friendly. The house and grounds are very nice.

Front of the house.

Beautiful pool area.

Bermuda 2019 - Day 2

The Royal Bermuda Yacht Club.

Our second day in Bermuda was wonderful.  After a lazy morning at the guesthouse - there a several other couples staying here, one from Norway - we had lunch at Coconuts, the restaurant at The Reefs. The weather was amazing and the view from the restaurant was beautiful, with the hotel perched along the top of the cliffs:

After lunch, we went into Hamilton and did some window shopping - and I bought a tie since I left mine at home - before taking the ferry across the harbor to return to the guesthouse and a snack and cocktail.  The highlight of the day was the welcome party for wedding guests at the Royal Bermuda Yacht Club on the Hamilton waterfront. The bride, although from Newport News, has lived in Boston for a number of years and the groom is a Boston, native, so the bulk of the guests attending are from the Boston area.  That said, about 15 of us from Hampton Roads are down for the event.  The party was great fun with drinks, food and a DJ who got the place dancing up a storm.  Today, Barry is doing hair for the bride and bridesmaids - his gift to the bride - while yours truly will be lounging at the guest house pool.  The wedding is this afternoon and we will be dressed in "Bermuda formal.:  More photos from the party, including Barry with the bride to be:

.

Bermuda 2019 - Day 1

We traveled to Bermuda for the wedding of a young woman the husband has known since she was a child.  Amazingly, our flights on American Airlines were on time - the first leg we even arrived early.  There are a small number of folks from Hampton/Newport News - most of the guests are from Boston - so we will have our own group within the larger group. We are staying at a lovely B&B not far from the wedding venue at the Coral Beach Club.  Attire for the wedding for men will be "Bermuda formal": tuxedos except with Bermuda shorts (yes, I will post photos). The welcome dinner Friday evening will be at the Royal Bermuda Yacht Club.

After settling in and having our first cocktail, we joined friends from Newport News for dinner at the Ocean Club at the Fairmont Southampton - shown in the photo above - one of the grander hotels on the island. Today, we plan on lunch at The Reefs - a fabulous hotel once owned by dear friends, the husband of the couple having passed away recently. The afternoon will likely involve a ferry ride into Hamilton and some shopping since I managed to leave part of my outfit for Friday evening at home. I will also try to get some beach or pool time in - the B&B has a gorgeous pool.

Blogging, it goes without saying, will be reduced during this trip.  A friend is staying at our home house/dog sitting while we are away.

Wedding Weekend at The Greenbrier - Day 1

Hotel front last night

The drive up to The Greenbrier in White Sulfur Springs, West Virginia, yesterday was uneventful other than a torrential rainstorm that left me white knuckling the steering wheel on Interstate 81 in among the large number of 18 wheelers.  Once we got back onto Interstate 64, thankfully, the traffic - and the rain - let up. Last night as part of the weeding weekend for the daughter of friends we had the good fortune to have the welcome cocktail party moved to the Presidential Suite in the Windsor Wing of the hotel.  The suite is named after the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and is wonderfully elegant.  The husband and I had our photo taken under the portrait of the Windsors - who one of the husband's clients actually met many years ago.

I had always known that the place was historic, but the public rooms of the hotel are almost museum in terms of near priceless pieces.  Interesting items ranges from 18th century portraits to the chandeliers that were in the set for "Twelve Oaks" in the movie, Gone With the Wind.  Below is a sample of the elegant public rooms.

After a leisurely breakfast in the gorgeous main dining room - and me, of course, checking on office e-mail from yesterday and drafting a couple of documents - we had a historic tour of the hotel and the bunker that was build in the 1950's at the height of the Cold War that was to house the President and Congress in the event of a nuclear attack on Washington, DC.   Our tour guide, Linda was wonderful. Here's a taste of the history from the hotel website:

The Greenbrier is a National Historic Landmark and world-class resort that has been welcoming guests from around the world since 1778. The natural mineral springs that drew our first guests over 235 years ago continue to lure visitors to our 11,000 acre luxury retreat today. With a guest list that includes 26 of our country’s 44 Presidents, America’s Resort has long been a favorite destination of royalty, celebrities and business leaders.  . . . . This renowned property offers 710 rooms, including 33 suites and 96 guest and estate homes. The Greenbrier has 10 lobbies, 40+ meeting rooms and a complete conference center facility. 

The Greenbrier offers exclusive services and amenities such as championship golf, fine dining, more than 55 activities, designer boutiques, our world-renowned mineral spa and a 103,000 square foot gaming and entertainment venue. 

Construction began in 1958 on the 112,544-square-foot bunker, which was built 720 feet into the hillside under The Greenbrier's West Virginia Wing.  Once complete in 1961, the facility was maintained in a constant state of readiness by a small group of government employees working undercover as Forsythe Associates, a company hired by the resort for audio/visual support services.

During its Eisenhower-Era use, The Bunker provided the following:

• Four entrances; three to The Greenbrier's grounds and one to the main building

• 25-ton blast door that opens with only 50 lbs. of pressure

• Decontamination chambers

• 18 dormitories, designed to accommodate over 1,100 people

• Power plant with purification equipment and three 25,000-gallon water storage tanks

• Three 14,000-gallon diesel fuel storage tanks

• Communications area, including television production area and audio recording booths

• Clinic with 12 hospital beds, medical and dental operating rooms

• Laboratory

• Pharmacy

• Intensive care unit

• Cafeteria

• Meeting rooms for the House and Senate, the Governor's Hall and Mountaineer room

Today's wedding events begin at 5:00 pm with a pre-ceremony toast followed by the wedding ceremony, and cocktail hour and reception dinner.    One last photo of the husband in the hall leading to the Presidential Suite.

Wedding Weekend at The Greenbrier

The husband and I are headed to The Greenbrier (pictured above) located in White Sulfur Springs, West Virginia, this morning to attend the wedding of the daughter of dear friends who were among the handful of true friends who stood by me when I came out after years of marriage to a woman and fathering three children.  We are delighted to be included in this wonderful event at a fabled resort.  Posting may be reduced, but as always I will try to give accounts of our experiences and stay up with current events.   Our usual house sitter will be staying at the house and caring for our two Chihuahuas - our furry children, as the husband calls them.  She will be staying at the house again when we sail on a cruise on October 28th.  More on that later.

The main dining room

More Family Wedding Photos

I am still sorting through photos from yesterday's wedding of my nephew and his beautiful bride.  We are straightening up the town house of a friend that we've been staying at - she and her husband are at their home in Florida for the weekend - before driving back to Hampton later today.  As I said yesterday evening, the weather was perfect.  Here are  a few more photos:

My niece from NYC and her brother

View across the Potomac from River Farm

First Dance

Cutting the cake

Over all, it was a wonderful day!

Family Wedding Event

The house

.The wedding of my nephew today to his amazing bride Kristen came off with out a hitch and the venue at River Farm near George Washington's Mt. Vernon was stunning.  Interestingly enough, River Farm was formerly owned by the grandfather of one of the boyfriend's clients.  We had the entire mansion and grounds to ourselves.  

Fortunately, after several days of far below normal temperatures, the weather was simply gorgeous.  Not a cloud in the sky, warm and sunny and a panoramic view out over the Potomac River.  It was seemly exquisite.   And it was so good to have all of my siblings and and my nieces and nephews in attendance, including my nephew who is in the Peace Corps in Panama.  I will post more photos tomorrow when I am not quite as "cocktailed."  I have posted some general shots. 

The tables set for dinner

Arbor behind where the ceremony took place

My nephew with his cousin's son

Headed to Washington, D.C., for a Family Wedding

One of my nephews is getting married this weekend in the Washington, D.C. area.   The bride and groom to be are pictured above.  Both the wedding and where the boyfriend and I will be staying are in Alexandria, but I am sure we will venture into the District to enjoy some of the gay night spots and attractions.  Fortunately, one of the boyfriend's long time clients and one of our personal friends (she and her husband are the friends who hosted us back in February at their beautiful home in Lighthouse Point, Florida) will be loaning us her town house in Old Town Alexandria for the weekend.   The wedding itself will be at River Farm, formerly a portion of the Mt. Vernon estate, which is owned by the American Horticultural Society and overlooks the Potomac River.  It is a popular wedding venue in the Washington, D.C., area.  Photos of River farm are set out below.  It will be nice to see family members, including my nephew who is in the Peace Corps in Panama but back for the wedding.

While we are gone, the boyfriend's dad will baby sit the dogs the Terry McAuliffe staffer who we are housing for the coming months will look after the house.  In terms of blogging, I will put up as much material as time allows.

For history buffs, here is information via Wikipedia:

The River Farm property was established in 1653-54 by Giles Brent and his wife, a princess of the Piscataway tribe, who received a grant of 1,800 acres (7.3 km²) named Piscataway Neck. In 1739 the land was passed from George Brent to brother-in-law, William Clifton who renamed the property Clifton's Neck. In 1757 Clifton completed the brick house that now serves as AHS headquarters. Following financial difficulties, Clifton sold the land to neighbor George Washington, who obtained the property for £1,210 through a bankruptcy sale in 1760. Washington changed the name of Clifton's Neck to River Farm and leased the property to tenant farmers. River Farm was passed down through two immediate generations of Washingtons and later sold with 652 arces of Washington's original land to the Snowden brothers of New Jersey. The property was home to numerous owners including Malcolm Matheson, who bought the property in 1919. Matheson placed the property on the market in 1971 and received an offer from the Soviet Embassy who planned to use the land as a retreat or dacha for its staff. The public opposed this purchase which resulted in the AHS acquisition of the property.

And for those who read the first post of the day, yes, I am doing better.

 

A Proud Father's Wedding Reflections

All of the work in the yard and reception planning paid off and the wedding and reception went wonderfully well.  And the weather cooperated completely and was near perfect.   I think everyone had a great time and better yet all went smoothly with my former wife, her new husband and the former and new in-laws.  The food was great and the "white stars" - champagne, peach schnapps and a slice of peach - were a big hit.  The only regret I have is that being the hosts, I don't feel I had enough time to talk to anyone in particular as I tried to talk with everyone. I can't wait to see the photographer's full selection of photos.  The image above gives you a sampling of what her work is like.

This morning is feeling anti-climactic, but in a good way, the house is pretty much back to normal and I think it will be a day to be lazy and probably go chill at a friend's pool.  I'll post more later in the day.  Below are a few photos that we took with our camera.

The bride and her parents

The ceremony

My two daughters and new son-in-law

The new son-in-law

The Boyfriend with my children and me

The first dance

Wedding Day Excitment and Frenzy

I'm doing a few posts  now because in just a few hours the everything will start getting busy and frenzied as we prepare for my daughter's wedding here at our home.  I spent the day yesterday doing last minute painting touch ups, manicuring the yard and getting the backyard ready for the ceremony that will have the tidal creek as the backdrop.  Thankfully, the weather forecast is perfect and with the actual ceremony set for 6:00 PM, the heat should have slacked off to a comfortable level.  It will definitely be strange having my former wife and some of her siblings and their families her, but I feel confident that everyone will behave.   

The cake (which will look something like the one above) will arrive around 1:30 to 2:00 PM and the and caterers arrive around 3:00PM for set up and a young friend will be bar-tending for us.  Music is set up for both during the reception and for dancing on the back patio under a large tent complete with chandelier that we had erected both in case the weather had failed to cooperate and to give us more covered space for the crowd which will overflow the house.   It goes without saying that the Boyfriend will be doing my daughter's hair.  

Thankfully, my oldest daughter from Olympia, Washington, and her new husband will be attending, although my son in northern California was not able to make the trip.  As is the growing trend among their generation, my daughter and her husband opted for a non-church wedding - one of the Hampton Circuit Court judges who lives up the street will be officiating.

 

Wish us luck for a happy and memorable day.  Needless to say, there will be pictures tomorrow and the next day.

Thought on a Daughter's Upcoming Wedding

I haven't mentioned this soon to occur significant life experience event yet, but my youngest daughter - pictured above with me before the Last Dinner on the Titanic event last month - is getting married on May 26, 2012.  Moreover, the wedding will take place in the back yard of the home I share with the boyfriend in Hampton.  My oldest daughter eloped due to her now military husband's orders scheduling issues and my free spirited hippie-like son may never officially marry.  Thus, this could be the main wedding experience I get to have as the father of a member of the wedding couple.

If one listens to the lies and hate disseminated by the Christianists, one would believe that gay parents are incapable of having a profound loving parental relationship with children they raise.  Like so much of what the Christianists say about LGBT individuals, it's a lie.  I feel I have an amazing relationship with my children and my youngest daughter in particular since she works at my law office and we see each other so much each and every week.  I treasure her.

Given that this will be the first time that my former wife and her new husband (and other members of her family) will be at out home, the boyfriend - a/k/a "Martha Stewart" - has me working to have the place as immaculate as possible.  We are tenting in part of the back yard that overlooks the tidal creek that forms two sides of our yard, coordinating with a caterer and orchestrating wine, champagne, and flowers among other things for the event.

The far right can denigrate gay parents all they want, but we love our children as much or more than anyone else and I hope the event will make a statement to guests that no one makes a parent set of parents than two gay dads.  As an added bonus, my oldest daughter and her new husband are flying in from Washington State for the event.

Wedding Wishes to My Daughter and New Son-in-Law

Today has been a strange day - my oldest daughter got married to her long time boyfriend (they are pictured above in a photo from a few months ago) and none of the rest of us were there. Things happened very, very quickly. No sooner did they become formally engaged than the specter of new orders appeared and, in order to make sure my daughter qualified for spousal benefits, they got married while on a previously planned spring break trip to Las Vegas. Come summer, they will have a big party here in Virginia. He's a good guy and I hope he recognizes the treasure he's found in my daughter.

I wish them much happiness together and welcome my new son into my family. Yes, despite what the Christianists like to maintain, we in the LGBT community DO have families - just like everyone else. And we love our children dearly. In fact, I count my children as my greatest accomplishment. As soon as photos from this afternoon's event are available, I will post some more.

A Family Wedding - Part II

I had my misgivings a we headed out early this morning to my niece's wedding, but the day proved to be a wonder, happy and healing experience. I believe many old emotional wounds were healed and that my siblings all felt that moving on and allowing the past to remain the past was the order of the day. Moreover, the wedding was a sweet, sentimental and most enjoyable affair with good music, good food and good company. On top of that, the weather cooperated and we had a gorgeous day - even if some of us are a bit sunburned as a result. The view from the house is set out above and the wedding party is set out below (my niece's brother is second from the right and his English wife is at far left). Not surprisingly, the boyfriend worked his usual magic on the bride's and bridesmaids' hair. And at the risk of sounding a bit "woo-woo," I do feel that my parents were with us in spirit today.

A Family Wedding

My youngest sister's daughter is getting married today and the boyfriend and I will be attending. In fact, he is doing my niece's and sister's hair for the event since their normal stylist is out of town. The wedding and reception will be held at a large beach house - eight bedrooms and 9 bathrooms - in the Sandbridge area of Virginia Beach (the photo at right is a view from the area where the house is located and the one below is a sunrise scene). Virginia Beach borders North Carolina and Sandbridge is basically the northern most part of the Outer Banks of North Carolina where they attach to the mainland. My youngest daughter will also be going to the affair. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate so we can take full advantage of the beautiful setting.
*
This is the first large family event since the psychodrama surrounding my late mother's death and funeral which led me to have a separate memorial service. All of my living siblings and just about all of their children will be there and, thus, it will be interesting to see how the day plays out. I'm not one to typically hold grudges and my issues were never with my youngest sister. I hope my niece has a magical day. Her husband to be is a cutie and seems like a truly sweet guy. I am facing the day with both excitement and apprehension.
*
As for being at the beach, it should be wonderful. The one thing I miss living in Hampton as opposed to Norfolk or Virginia Beach is the distance from the beach and surfing. Having to drive an hour - as opposed to 10-15 minutes as when I lived in Virginia Beach - makes one think twice about getting out the surf board and paddling out. One of my resolutions is to get back in the water more regularly and restore my lost endurance. It's great therapy and tones the upper body too!

Reflections on a Wedding

The wedding and reception yesterday/last night was a lot of fun even though once again we were the token gay couple in the crowd. Adding to the initial underlying tension was the fact that many in the group were hard core conservatives - e.g., Janet Polarek, Secretary of the Commonwealth of Virginia - and Southern Baptists (not that this fact held back the steady consumption of alcohol). The wedding itself was at an old church in Charlottesville with the reception following at Farmington Country Club west of town and closer to the Blue Ridge Mountains. The front facade of the club shown above reveals that Thomas Jefferson designed the octagon rotunda and front portico. I must admit that everyone was very gracious - although one woman seemed disoriented when the boyfriend, after being asked where his wife was, said, he didn't have a wife, but he did have me and pointed me out. One thing that did strike me several, however, during the church service was (a) how oblivious people are to the anti-gay message sent by some of the words in the ceremony about marriage and (b) how little the Christianists live what is supposed to be the Christian message with love at the forefront. Instead, hatred and bigotry are the hallmarks seen most typically. The bride and groom definitely, are not of this mold, nor the brides wonderful and gracious parents.

*

Needless to say, attending a wedding in the Commonwealth of Virginia where the ownership of one's pets gets more legal recognition that couples in same sex relationships makes it hard not to think of politics and how religion has fouled so many aspects of life. Especially for LGBT teens who continue to hear a drumbeat message that they are sinful and unworthy of God's love - not to mention society's respect. A variation of my post yesterday cross posted at The Bilerico Project engendered much commentary. I truly believe that as a community, LGBT Americans must cease giving any deference to the religious sensibilities of our enemies. They certainly show no sensibilities to our civil rights in what is supposed to be a secular nation. Dan Savage summed it up well in responding to a letter from a person who did not like the consequences of religious belief on gay lives called out for what it is. Here are some highlights:
*
I'm sorry your feelings were hurt by my comments. No, wait. I'm not. Gay kids are dying. So let's try to keep things in perspective: fuck your feelings.
*
A question: do you support atheist marriage? Interfaith marriage? Divorce and remarriage? All legal, of course, and there's no Christian movement to deny marriage rights to atheists or people marrying outside their respective faiths or to people divorcing and remarrying. Why the hell not?
*
Being told that they're sinful and that their love offends God, and being told that their relationships are unworthy of the civil right that is marriage (not the religious rite that some people use to solemnize their civil marriages), can eat away at the souls of gay kids. It makes them feel like they're not valued, that their lives are not worth living.
*
The children of people who see gay people as sinful or damaged or disordered and unworthy of full civil equality—even if those people strive to express their bigotry in the politest possible way (at least when they happen to be addressing a gay person)—learn to see gay people as sinful, damaged, disordered, and unworthy. And while there may not be any gay adults or couples where you live, or at your church, or at your workplace, I promise you that there are gay and lesbian children in your schools. You may only attack gays and lesbians at the ballot box, nice and impersonally, but your children have the option of attacking actual real gays and lesbians, in person, in real time.
*
Real gay and lesbian children. Not political abstractions, not "sinners." Real gay and lesbian children.
*
The dehumanizing bigotries that fall from lips of "faithful Christians," and the lies that spew forth from the pulpit of the churches "faithful Christians" drag their kids to on Sundays, give your straight children a license to verbally abuse, humiliate and condemn the gay children they encounter at school.
*
Oh, and those same dehumanizing bigotries that fill your straight children with hate? They fill your gay children with suicidal despair. And you have the nerve to ask me to be more careful with my words.
*
Did that hurt to hear? Good. But hearing it couldn't have hurt nearly as much as what the boys in the photo above had to listen to—day-in, day-out, for years—at schools filled with bigoted little monsters created not in the image of a loving God, but in the images of the hateful and false "followers of Christ" they call "mom and dad."

Valentine's Day Weekend Reflections

The boyfriend and I have had a pleasant and interesting weekend. One of his long time clients - he owns a hair salon - was married yesterday at Wedmore Place, an inn at the Williamsburg Winery, outside of Williamsburg, Virginia. The reception following the wedding at one of the reception halls at the Williamsburg Winery. Since he did the hair for the bride and members of the wedding party, we were provided a room (pictured at left) and attended the reception. While the inn is only a few years old, it is wonderfully appointed and each of the 28 rooms has a distinct decor and style based on a province or city in Europe. Ours was the Vienna room complete with Hapsburg portraits and a map of Austria-Hungry at its zenith (my father's parents came from Austria-Hungry in 1913).

*

The reception hall at the Winery is styled like a German hall from two centuries ago with dark beams and wood burning fireplaces at each end of the room salvaged from a chateau. Further adding to the unusual atmosphere was the fact that the bride groom's family is Mormon. I had some trepidation as to how it all would go, but was pleasantly surprised at the warmth with which a gay couple was received by the groom's family. Hopefully we dispelled any possible stereotype images that they might have held and they certainly put a warm human face on a group not know for being gay friendly, particularly in the wake of Proposition 8. It was a wonderful evening.

*

This morning we did a tour of the winery - the largest in Virginia - followed by a tasting. I highly recommend a visit to the winery for anyone visiting the greater Williamsburg area. And if you are looking for a upscale accommodations that are markedly different from the usual style and decor, check out Wedmore Place.