Thought on a Daughter's Upcoming Wedding

I haven't mentioned this soon to occur significant life experience event yet, but my youngest daughter - pictured above with me before the Last Dinner on the Titanic event last month - is getting married on May 26, 2012.  Moreover, the wedding will take place in the back yard of the home I share with the boyfriend in Hampton.  My oldest daughter eloped due to her now military husband's orders scheduling issues and my free spirited hippie-like son may never officially marry.  Thus, this could be the main wedding experience I get to have as the father of a member of the wedding couple.

If one listens to the lies and hate disseminated by the Christianists, one would believe that gay parents are incapable of having a profound loving parental relationship with children they raise.  Like so much of what the Christianists say about LGBT individuals, it's a lie.  I feel I have an amazing relationship with my children and my youngest daughter in particular since she works at my law office and we see each other so much each and every week.  I treasure her.

Given that this will be the first time that my former wife and her new husband (and other members of her family) will be at out home, the boyfriend - a/k/a "Martha Stewart" - has me working to have the place as immaculate as possible.  We are tenting in part of the back yard that overlooks the tidal creek that forms two sides of our yard, coordinating with a caterer and orchestrating wine, champagne, and flowers among other things for the event.

The far right can denigrate gay parents all they want, but we love our children as much or more than anyone else and I hope the event will make a statement to guests that no one makes a parent set of parents than two gay dads.  As an added bonus, my oldest daughter and her new husband are flying in from Washington State for the event.

Quote of the Day - From the Father of a Gay Identifying Child

Huffington Post has a post by the husband of HuffPost blogger Amelia, who has asked numerous times about what he think about his 7-year-old son identifying as gay. In the post, Dave, hits the nail on the head in my view and responds as any DECENT AND LOVING parent would and should:

The idea that I would be immediately disappointed/angry/suicidal that my son identifies as gay offends me, both as a father and simply as a human. It seems the further we all move along into the 21st century in terms of technology, the more some parts of society regress to the 1950s -- or the Victorian era, if we're being honest -- when it comes to ideas of social mores and attitudes on certain subjects: Ward Cleaver would have been angry if the Beaver had come out of the closet, so surely a father 60 years later would have the same reaction. I mean, come on, that's only common sense! Excuse me while I roll my eyes for an hour or two.

I don't see how a father, or any parent, can look at their son, the one they've loved since before the child was even born, and upon hearing him say, "Dad, I'm gay," turn their back on him. The comments from men much older than me telling stories just like that break my heart. My wife always wants to adopt the teenage kids who write to her; I want to adopt the 60-year-old men who cry when they read that I tell my son how awesome he is. I don't care if they are as old as my father; they deserve love just as much as anyone else.

Getting married is up to him; single or married, he's still my son. If he and his maybe-some-day-far-far-in-the-future boyfriend want to tie the knot, they just need to tell his mother and me where to be, and we'll be there. Hopefully by then they can get married in whichever state they want, but if not, we'll just travel to one of the cool states and have a great time.

And the "flamer" comments... where to begin? Do effeminate men exist? Of course. Are all gay men effeminate? Of course not. But does it matter? Whether he grows up to be the manliest man in all mandom or the most effeminate guy to ever hit the drag-show circuit, he is my son. I want him to be loved, comfortable with himself and his friends, and happy.

Would that more of the self-congratulatory pious folks got this simple message. They continue to make Christianity something foul and ugly where the principal message is one of hate. Jesus, I suspect, would be disgusted. He might even utter the word "Pharisees."

Marie Osmond Comes Out for Gay Marriage

Kudos to Marie for putting her denomination's anti-gay rhetoric behind her and coming out in support of her daughter and marriage equality. As a parent, I have never understood how a good, loving parent could disown their own child simply because they are gay or lesbian or transgendered. Personally, I'd die for any one of my children. Yet far too many Christianists, Mormons, and other Kool-Aid drinkers do just that. I always have to wonder if these people were ever even decent parents in the first place if they can throw their own child out on the streets. No doubt Marie will have some religious extremists condemning her, but I believe that she has done exactly what Christ would have wanted and what he would have done himself. Here are some highlights via Pam's House Blend:

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Actress and singer Marie Osmond was on a radio station KOST 103.5 Los Angeles yesterday, discussing her lesbian daughter Jessica and Marie's beliefs.Contrary to rumors, Marie spoke of how much she loves and supports her daughter, despite her own Mormon religious convictions. Naturally, the gay marriage question came up, and, we're proud to say, Marie spoke in support of civil rights for everyone, regardless of orientation.

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An audio clip of Marie's comments can be found here. Hopefully, Marie's courage will embolden others to likewise do the right thing. Contact Marie Osmond at Kesti@marieosmond.com to thank her for speaking out about her daughter, and for supporting marriage equality.