Catholic School Reserves Right to Expel Students With LGBT Siblings

While masochistic LGBT Catholics continue to cling to the (in my view, disingenuous) statements  of Pope Francis to tell themselves that the Roman Catholic Church is backing off of its anti-LGBT jihad, we see daily reminders that remaining Catholic and LGBT ought to be mutually exclusive. Indeed, despite Pope Francis' cheery picked statements, NOTHING has changed in terms of the Church's position on LGBT individuals who in official writings continue to be "inherently disordered," "inclined toward evil," and even "demonic."   Now, a Catholic high school is reminding LGBT individuals that even their family members are not welcome.  The school statement of understanding is here.  The Advocate has details:

Prospective students may want to read the fine print when applying to Trinity Academy.

The private Catholic high school in Wichita, Kan., maintains it has the right to expel students with LGBT siblings in its “Statement of Understanding,” an agreement form signed by applicants and parents prior to admission.

The form was published online to the blog Patheos, where it was submitted by “someone with a connection” to the school.

The statement outlines a list of required “beliefs and practices,” which includes standard dogma: devotion to Christ and the teachings of the Bible, and abstinence from sex outside of marriage. Yet the final and lengthiest bullet point on the form regards acceptance of LGBT people, which the school considers “counter to the standing of a Biblical lifestyle.”

Here is the full clause:

Given the debate and confusion in our society about marriage and human sexuality it is vital that Trinity families agree with and support the school’s traditional, Christian understanding of those issues. Therefore, when the atmosphere or conduct within a particular home is counter to the school’s understanding of a biblical lifestyle, including the practice or promotion of the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) lifestyle or alternative gender identity, the school should have the right, in its sole discretion, to deny the admission of an applicant or discontinue enrollment of a current student.

Under these restrictions, any young person who identifies as LGBT, is an ally, or has an LGBT family member could be rejected or expelled from Trinity Academy.

Beneath this bullet point, there are three signatures required: “mother’s,” father’s,” and “student’s,” which also excludes the possibility of nontraditional families.

Perhaps I am harsh, but I view gays who remain Catholic as having far too much internalized homophobia.   

Wedding Clebration - Phase I

The husband and I got married back in April in Washington, DC, but put off having a wedding celebration/reception until later.  Yesterday was the first celebration focused on family and a few closest friends who include us as members of their extended family.  The weather was absolutely perfect - much of the party was in the back yard - and all seem to have had a good time, especially the little grandchildren and nieces and nephews.  Lest other friends feel slighted, we will be having two more "celebrations" where we will include friends and neighbors.  Our goal was to keep the size of the gatherings smaller and more intimate, although with 60 some guests it still was a whirlwind. The first part of the morning today was packing away all the chairs and tables in the shed until the next event.  I've posted a few photos.

I truly think the kids had the best time of anyone.  It was the first time that my family members other than my youngest daughter met most of the husband's family.  It was a good time. :)  To the gay haters, my message is that we gays do have families and thankfully the younger generations are not accepting your hate and misogamy.

Sunday Evening Reflections

Roughly three weeks ago, we suffered severe weather damage - i.e., driving rains with 60+ mph wind gusts - to the roof of a portion of our home.  The short term verdict: we need a new roof on the 25 by 28 foot "great room" portion of our home (pictured below) and depending on the severity of the water damage, we may need structural repairs and most certainly plaster repairs and repainting. First thing in the morning tomorrow, the first in depth assessment will be dome.  In preparation, the husband and I had to shift all of the furniture to one corner of the room and move patio furniture off of the deck that surrounds the great room.  The prospect of major construction work is, needless to say, less than welcome.

As a welcome escape, once the tasks at home were completed, we headed to a friend's home in Virginia Beach which we refer to as the "Country Club" for the 40th birthday of another friend.  Our friend's home is beautiful and sits on a fresh water lake and has a salt water pool where surprisingly competitive volley ball games take place (the more madras punch consumed, the better the playing gets). After a winter from Hell by Tidewater Virginia standards, the party was a welcomed embrace of one of the most beautiful days with 80 degree temperatures that we have had to date. The camaraderie was great as is always the case and the crowd of party goers covered a range of gays from cute 20 somethings to relative fossils like myself.  

What I found perhaps most uplifting from the party is the way in which the young gays are so much more self-accepting than those of my generation were at similar ages.  While there is much more to be dome in terms of securing full LGBT equality, compared to when I was in my early twenties - being gay was deemed a clinical form of mental illness until I was almost 22 - the changes for the better have been cataclysmic.  It is what makes me want to continue the fight against anti-gay bigotry and religious based ignorance until the battle is fully won.  No one should ever hate themselves or feel that suicide is the best option.    Today energized me again to keep up the struggle.  A few photos from this afternoon with these "extended family members" are set out below.

View toward the lake - the husband is in the center right with the blond hair

The rainbow flag in the background

The love and support that I  - and the husband - have found from this amazing group of guys is something special.   It is our own fraternity of sorts and I count myself lucky to have come to know these guys.  Despite the hi jinks and sometimes bawdy jokes and ribald commentary, these guys are the genuine item.  If I needed someone to guard my back, I'd pick these guys any day over the "godly folks."  Being a good and moral person does not require one to be a Bible thumping modern day Pharisee.

New Survey: Huge Shifts on Gay Marriage; Bad News for the GOP and the Christofascists

With the federal court ruling striking down the Texas ban on gay marriage and Gov. Jan Brewer's veto of Arizona SB 1062 today was not a good day for American Christofascists and their pandering political whores in the Republican Party.  But in some ways these developments should cause less angst to the far right forces of hate and discrimination than the findings of a new poll by the Public Religion Research Institute that underscore that the days of Christofascist political victories on social issues and the GOP's long term viability are nearing an end.  The findings also underscore that the Christofascists' anti-gay bigotry is a leading cause for the massive flight of the Milennial generation from organized religion - and the GOP.  Here are highlight from the survey's findings:

Support for same-sex marriage jumped 21 percentage points from 2003, when Massachusetts became the first state to legalize same-sex marriage, to 2013. Currently, a majority (53%) of Americans favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to legally marry, compared to 41% who oppose. In 2003, less than one-third (32%) of Americans supported allowing gay and lesbian people to legally marry, compared to nearly 6-in-10 (59%) who opposed.

„„Today, majorities of Americans in the Northeast (60%), West (58%), and Midwest (51%) favor allowing gay and lesbians to legally marry, while Southerners are evenly divided (48% favor, 48% oppose).

In 2003, all major religious groups opposed same-sex marriage, with the exception of the religiously unaffiliated. Today, there are major religious groups on both sides of the issue. Religiously unaffiliated Americans (73%), white mainline Protestants (62%), white Catholics (58%), and Hispanic Catholics (56%) all favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry. A majority (83%) of Jewish Americans also favor legalizing same-sex marriage. Hispanic Protestants are divided; 46% favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to legally marry and 49% oppose. By contrast, nearly 7-in-10 (69%) white evangelical Protestants and nearly 6-in-10 (59%) black Protestants oppose same-sex marriage.

„„Today, nearly 7-in-10 (69%) Millennials (ages 18 to 33) favor same-sex marriage, compared to 37% of Americans who are part of the Silent Generation (ages 68 and  older). The generation gap today, or the difference in support for same-sex marriage between America’s youngest and oldest cohorts, is now 32 points, roughly as wide as it was in 2003.

Half (50%) of Millennial Republicans favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to marry, a view shared by only 18% of Republicans who are members of the Silent Generation.Nearly 6-in-10 (59%) black Millennials say gay and lesbian people should be allowed to legally marry, compared to only 39% of black Americans overall.

White evangelical Protestant Millennials are more than twice as likely to favor same- sex marriage as the oldest generation of white evangelical Protestants (43% vs. 19%).

Nearly two-thirds (65%) of Americans report having a close friend or family member who is gay or lesbian, nearly three times the number (22%) who reported having such a relationship in 1993. Americans who have a close friend or family member who is gay or lesbian are 27 points more likely than those who do not to favor allowing gay and lesbian couples to legally marry (63% vs. 36%). This “family and friends” effect is present across all major demographic, religious and political groups.

Americans strongly support laws that would protect gay and lesbian people from discrimination in the workplace. More than 7-in-10 (72%) Americans favor laws protecting gay and lesbian people from job discrimination, compared to less than one-quarter (23%) who oppose.

Seven-in-ten (70%) Millennials believe that religious groups are alienating young adults by being too judgmental on gay and lesbian issues. 

Among Americans who left their childhood religion and are now religiously unaffiliated, about one-quarter say negative teachings about or treatment of gay and lesbian people was a somewhat important (14%) or very important (10%) factor in their decision to disaffiliate. Among Millennials who no longer identify with their childhood religion, nearly one-third say that negative teachings about, or treatment of, gay and lesbian people was either a somewhat important (17%) or very important (14%) factor in their disaffiliation from religion.

Roughly two-thirds (66%) of Americans agree bullying of gay and lesbian teenagers is a major problem in schools today, while nearly one-quarter (23%) disagrees. The belief that bullying of gay and lesbian youth is a major problem in schools is broadly shared across partisan and religious lines.

There is much more in the survey findings, but one thing is clear: the hate and bigotry of Christofascists and their GOP puppets is alienating more and more Americans and the day is coming when the elderly who comprise their principal base will have died off to an extent where the GOP can no longer win elections outside of ignorant backward regions of the country.   Stated another way, pandering to Christofascists and angry racist whites will be the death of the GOP.

Families of Gays - My Granddaughter

The Christofascists and other opponents of LGBT equality like to pretend that gays don't have family members and that we don't have children - and grandchildren.  In reality, of course, we do have families and our families in many instances have come to know the dishonesty of the "godly Christian" crowd.  Hence the so-called Nones, the nearly 1/3 of the under 30 generations who have walked away for institutional religion.  And with each new generation, more will come to know the truth.  A case in point: my granddaughter who is turning 1 year old and who is growing up knowing that gays are normal, loving people.  I love this picture taken by a photographer friend of the family:

And yes, she does get treated like a little princess!!  She comes to work with my daughter every day.

More Family Wedding Photos

I am still sorting through photos from yesterday's wedding of my nephew and his beautiful bride.  We are straightening up the town house of a friend that we've been staying at - she and her husband are at their home in Florida for the weekend - before driving back to Hampton later today.  As I said yesterday evening, the weather was perfect.  Here are  a few more photos:

My niece from NYC and her brother

View across the Potomac from River Farm

First Dance

Cutting the cake

Over all, it was a wonderful day!

New CNN Poll: 57% of Americans Know Someone Gay

A new CNN poll helps under score how living out of the closet makes a huge impact on LGBT acceptance and may, in fact, be one of the biggest reasons for the rapid change in attitudes towards gay marriage.  Outside of Christofascists circles, if one knows someone gay or has a gay family member, the chances are high that one will also support gay marriage.  It's more bad news for the professional Christian crowd and those who have been enriching themselves by peddling anti-gay animus.  Here are highlights on the poll findings:

One day before the Supreme Court hears a high profile case on same-sex marriage, a new national poll indicates that the percentage of Americans who say they have a family member or close friend who is gay or lesbian is on the rise. And that increase matches a jump in the percent of the public who support legal same-sex marriages. According to a CNN/ORC International survey, 57% say they have a family member or close friend who is gay or lesbian, up 12 points from 2007.

"The number of Americans who support same-sex marriage has risen by almost the same amount in that time - from 40% in 2007 to 53% today - strongly suggesting that the rise in support for gay marriage is due in part to the rising number of Americans who have become aware that someone close to them is gay," says CNN Polling Director Keating Holland.

According to the poll, people who say they know someone who is gay or lesbian are more likely to be younger and more likely to have attended college, with women more likely to say that than men. And not surprisingly, support for gay marriage is highest among women, college educated Americans, and the young. 

"Attitudes toward homosexuality are the result of many complex, interrelated factors. Past polling, for example, has also shown that support for gay marriage has risen during a time when a growing number of Americans believe that homosexuality is something a person is born with. But years of polling suggests that the growing number of Americans who know someone who is gay has contributed to an environment in which gay marriage now receives support from a majority of Americans," says Holland.

Whatever the Supreme Court may decide to do in the gay marriage cases, the Christiofascists have seemingly lost this part of the culture war.  Sooner or later gay marriage will be nationwide.

The Myth of the Gay Threat

Click Image to Enlarge

I saw this image on Facebook and it sums up why the Christofascists want to keep gays invisible.  Yes, it's Colbert acting as him usual self, but it speaks a great truth: if people find out that we LGBT individuals  are basically just like them, that we have similar hopes and dreams and, God forbid, that we have normal functioning families  the Christianist  anti-gay jihad falls apart.  It also underscores why living out and proud and refusing to hide you are is the greatest weapon in the fight for full civil equality.  It's easy to hate and oppose something/someone unknown.  It's far harder when the targets of hate are one's friends, neighbors and family members.

Memorial Service Reflections -1-29-11

UPDATED: A friend sent me a few photos from today's service. set out below are a shot of the church interior before any one had arrived and a photo of Senior Pastor Goeres who was wonderful both during the service and the panning sessions I had with him.

The memorial service today for my late mother seems to have gone of well and, despite some teary moments I got through the eulogy I had prepared. The boyfriend also spoke and became teary towards the end of his beautiful "thank you letter" to my mother. My children attended (the photo below was taken at the reception) and it was wonderful having them with me for support. The boyfriend's parents attended, as did several of his clients with whom I have become close friends. HRBOR was well represented and some members of the Ghent business community attended too, as did the Lutheran bishop's staff. An added surprise was the presence of friends of over 25 years from my old neighborhood in Virginia Beach.

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The church setting was beautiful (an exterior shot is above) and Pastor Goeres was wonderful. As I have noted before, if there are members of the LGBT community in the Ghent area who would like a spiritual home, I cannot recommended First Lutheran enough. For what at first glance gives the impression of being a very formal and traditional parish because of the church structure itself, the pastor and staff and parishioners "get it" and realize that all of us, gay and straight, are part of God's family

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The reception after the service likewise went well and the boyfriend - a/k/a Martha Stewart - had the food and beverages well organized and under control. A special thanks goes out to my friend Kenny who helped set everything up.

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I want to say a sincere "Thank You" to all who attended and helped me make it through this difficult time, especially my children who I love so much.

Love, Friendship and the Voting Booth

The Washington Blade has a column which, while aimed at the November elections in the USA, in its larger principles is applicable to every elections worldwide. Namely, LGBT citizens need to get the message across to friends and family that merely being accepting of us in our personal lives (not to diminish the importance of this acceptance) is NOT enough. To be truly gay friendly needs to carry over to the voting booth and ballot box. Politicians and political parties like John McCain and today's Republican Party need to feel the multiplied negative impact of their anti-gay agenda that LGBT citizens and their friends/family members voting as a block can deliver. If friends and loved ones truly want the LGBT friend or loved one happy, they need to STOP voting for those who seek to harm us or keep us second class citizens. Here are some column highlights:

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IT IS HARD to imagine an election more important to the future of our community than the one we face in November. That is why we must do all that we can to prevent our families and friends from voting for candidates who oppose our equality. They must be made to understand that how they vote affects our lives in the most fundamental ways possible; that when they vote for homophobes, they damage our shared bonds of love, trust and friendship.

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While they may be unaware of their candidates’ positions on these most basic human rights issues and are supporting them for completely unrelated reasons, they are nevertheless complicit in a political struggle that seeks to deny us our full equality. Those who see themselves as our friends and yet vote for opponents of our equality need to understand that friends treat each other with respect and dignity, and as equals. They need to know this is not an act of friendship and certainly not one of love. The same is true for family members.

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Friends tell me about their Bush/McCain-supporting Republican parents, but go on to say how accepting they are of them. When I ask how that is possible, how loving parents could support someone who wants to hurt their child, I get a blank look or a glib comment about how “that’s just the way they are.” It isn’t the way they are — they just don’t know any better and it is our job to teach them.

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Sometimes I hear (and sadly, this often comes from gay people) “they aren’t single issue voters and consider many issues when deciding how to vote.” What does it say about our sense of self worth when we accept from our parents the explanation that taxes are more important than our dignity, safety and equality? Why are we are so reluctant to challenge them when their behavior so adversely affects our lives? Ending our silence is the only way to educate the people we cherish most that our equality is important and that it requires respect. Love and friendship demand nothing less.

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If we fail to put a friend in the White House, if we fail to elect a more gay-friendly Congress, if we allow the far right to select the next Supreme Court justices, our long battle for equality will be stalled for decades. This threat is horrifyingly real.