Stress, Hostility Rising in American High Schools in Trump Era

Since November 9, 2016, I know that I have felt more stress and anxiety as civic discourse has coarsened and LGBT citizens have become increasingly a target for mistreatment by the federal government under Trump/Pence.  I have also come to realize that some who I thought were friends may, in fact not be my friends and may even support discrimination against me and others in the LGBT community not to mention against members of racial minorities.  And I am an educated white male with a career that would allow me to reopen my own law firm if things ever came to that.  Not everyone has that safety net.   Thus, I can only imagine the the stress and increased anxiety that racial minorities must be experiencing as the occupant of the White House continues to fan hate and bigotry and the Justice Department takes actions to allow open discrimination against people like me and others.  One venue where hate and bigotry is not easily avoided is in America's high schools where the situation shows how much damage is being done to younger generations.  The Virginian Pilot reports on the findings of a new study that ought to disturb decent, moral people (which, in my view, excludes Trump supporters).  Here are highlights:

Student anxiety and hostility on public high school campuses has worsened since Donald Trump became president and is affecting student learning, according to a new UCLA report.

More than half of public high school teachers in a nationally representative school sample reported seeing more students than ever with "high levels of stress and anxiety" between last January, when Trump took office, and May. That's according to the study, "Teaching and Learning in the Age of Trump: Increasing Stress and Hostility in America's High Schools," by John Rogers, director of the Institute for Democracy, Education and Access at the University of California at Los Angeles.

[N]early 80 percent said some students had expressed concern for their well-being because of the charged public conversation about issues such as immigration, health care, the environment, travel bans and LGBTQ rights, it said. Furthermore, 40 percent said concerns over key issues - such as Trump's ban on travelers from eight countries, most with Muslim majorities; restrictions on LGBTQ rights; and health care - are making it harder for students to focus on their studies and making them less likely to come to school.

"I had students stand up in the middle of class and directly address their peers with racial slurs," the report quoted Ohio social studies teacher Aaron Burger as saying. "This is not something I have seen before."

Here are key findings from the report:

• Stress and concerns with welfare have increased, particularly in schools enrolling mostly students of color.
• Polarization, incivility and reliance on unsubstantiated sources have risen, particularly in predominantly white schools.
• A growing number of schools, particularly predominantly white schools, have become hostile environments for racial and religious minorities and other vulnerable groups.
• While some school leaders avoided issues related to the political environment, others moved proactively to create a tolerant and respectful school culture. When leaders did not act, student behavior grew dramatically worse.
• As the national political environment has become more threatening, bellicose and uncivil, more young people are subject to adverse socio-emotional and academic consequences. These changes also undercut the democratic purposes of public education.
• Educators can mitigate some of these challenges, but they need more support. Ultimately, political leaders need to address the underlying causes of campus incivility and stress.

The policy issue that concerned students the most was the Trump administration's statements about immigration, including the deportation of undocumented immigrants who came to the United States as children and are known as "dreamers." Jeff Seuss, a social studies teacher and coach in Nebraska, reported that some of his student athletes now live in "survival mode," never knowing if they will be deported to a country they never lived in.

79 percent of teachers reported that their students have expressed concerns for their well-being or the well-being of their families associated with recent public policy discourse on one or more hot-button issues, including immigration, travel limitations on predominantly Muslim countries, restrictions on LGBTQ rights, changes to health care, or threats to the environment.

"Many teachers described how the political environment 'unleashed' virulently racist, anti-Islamic, anti-Semitic or homophobic rhetoric in their schools and classrooms. An Indiana English teacher explained: 'Individuals who do harbor perspectives on racism and bigotry now feel empowered to offer their views more naturally in class discussions, which has led to tension, and even conflict in the classroom.'

Sadly, this is precisely what Trump voters wanted: to make those the deem to be "other" fearful and threatened.  It is a testament to just how toxic conservative "Christian values" have become.   

Wentworth Miller: I Tried to Commit Suicide Before Coming Out

This blog began in part as a form of therapy as I struggled to come to full acceptance that I was gay and that nothing would ever change that reality - I had tried for 37 years to "pray away the gay" and NOTHING had changed in me.  Other than perhaps my level of self-hate and self-loathing.   It is a feeling that far too many of us have experienced and which people like Maggie Gallagher, the Catholic Church hierarchy and other hate merchants would have many more generations of gays experience.   All, of course, so that these foul individuals can feel morally superior or avoid facing the fact that their supposedly inerrant Bible is full of untruths.  Recently, actor Wentworth Miller came out publicly and now he has shared that like myself and many others he tried to end his own life as a teenager.  E News has details:

Wentworth Miller's road to coming out had some very dark moments.

The Prison Break star, who revealed he is gay less than a month ago, admitted that he tried to commit suicide as a teenager while struggling to come to terms with his sexuality.

Speaking out at the Human Rights Campaign gala at the Sheraton Seattle Hotel on Saturday, Miller explained that he overdosed on pills during a weekend where his parents were away from home.

"The first time I tried to kill myself I was 15," he said.

"I waited until my family went away for the weekend and I was alone in the house and I swallowed a bottle of pills. I don't remember what happened over the next couple days, but I'm pretty sure come Monday morning I was on a bus back to school pretending everything was fine. And when someone asked me if that was a cry for help, I say no, because I told no one."

Miller continued, "Growing up I was a target. Speaking the right way, standing the right way, holding your wrist the right way. Every day was a test and there was a thousand ways to fail. A thousand ways to portray yourself to not live up to someone else's standards of what was accepted."

The actor also explained that it made him nervous to come out early in his career. "I had multiple opportunities to speak my truth, which is that I was gay, but I chose not to. I was out privately to family and friends—publicly, I was not.

"I chose to lie—when I thought about the possibility of coming out, how that might impact me and the career I worked so hard for, I was filled with fear."

Self-hate, fear and often loneliness - in addition to hate and bigotry - are the real fruits of  conservative Christianity.  Hence, my view that those who loudly proclaim their conservative beliefs are making clear tat they are not nice or decent people.

Hurricane Irene - Things Continue to Look Worse for Hampton Roads

It's bad when you feel like you need a stiff drink at 6:20 AM, but that's how stressed out I'm feeling. It clearly looks like this area is going to receive a major hit. Before running over to secure the office, the boyfriend and I are moving stuff out of the bard/shed in the back yard to take some to the third floor storage space at the salon building. Other things like the lawn mower, etc. will be put up on tables. Other folding tables will be used in the garage - the convertible is already at a downtown Hampton garage - the get stuff up off the floor. The amount of things that need to be moved is mind blowing and demonstrates how you don't know how much stuff you have until you have to move much of it. Here's highlights from the latest from the Virginian Pilot coverage:

As Hurricane Irene's broad path veered closer to Hampton Roads on Thursday, Gov. Bob McDonnell declared a state of emergency but stopped short of ordering widespread evacuations and reversing lanes on Interstate 64 to speed traffic out of the region.

By this morning, Irene had weakened slightly to a Category 2 hurricane - with top winds around 110 mph - with the potential to restrengthen today, according to the National Hurricane Center. Its winds are hitting at tropical storm force 290 miles from its center. Storm surges of 5 to 10 feet are expected along the coast, accompanied by large, life-threatening waves. Rainfall of 6 to 10 inches is forecast - and up to 15 inches is possible in some areas.

All five South Hampton Roads cities are preparing to open some of their emergency shelters tonight. Norfolk residents who want to move their vehicles to higher ground may park for free in city garages at MacArthur Center, Boush Street, Freemason Street and York Street beginning at 6 p.m. today. In Virginia Beach, Oceanfront parking garages will open; for details,see www.vbgov.com.

McDonnell said residents need to be prepared for the possible closures of the Hampton Roads Bridge-Tunnel, the Monitor-Merrimac Memorial Bridge-Tunnel, the Midtown Tunnel and other water crossings in the region, likely on Saturday morning.

Army officials ordered everyone to leave Fort Monroe, a 565-acre island at the mouth of the Chesapeake Bay, by 6 p.m. today. Fort Monroe is home to about 800 soldiers and family members; separately, a few hundred people live in apartments at The Chamberlin. The Army base was badly damaged by Hurricane Isabel in 2003. That storm caused $100 million in damages.

More than 200 aircraft from Oceana Naval Air Station and Norfolk Naval Station also are preparing to get out of the storm's path. The evacuating aircraft - F/A-18 Hornets and Super Hornets, E-2C Hawkeyes, C-2A Greyhounds, H-60 helicopters, and C-12 Hurons - are headed for airfields as far south as New Orleans and as far west as Fallon, Nev.

Yes, the foregoing is definitely enough to stress you out when your home is on a tidal creek and across the street from homes directly on Hampton Roads harbor.

NOTE: the Norfolk flood zone maps are here: http://www.norfolk.gov/emergency/storm_surge_maps.asp. Norfolk readers need to check their zone.

Norfolk, Virginia Issues Mandatory Evacuation For Low Lying Areas

Wow! While I was working on the last post, Norfolk issued a mandatory evacuation for low lying areas a/k/a Category 1 hurricane flood zones. Category 2 flood zones are encouraged to evacuate as well . For those familiar with Norfolk, this impacts a HUGE area (not my house, fortunately, which is in a Category 3 zone). Where evacuees will go is perhaps the biggest question since the shelters listed to date cannot any where near accommodate the number of people involved. Here are highlights from WVEC-TV 13:

NORFOLK--City Manager Marcus D. Jones signed a declaration of emergency for the City of Norfolk Thursday afternoon.

The city has upgraded its previous order and is issuing a mandatory evacuation of all residents in low-lying areas. The city is urging residents to implement their hurricane plan and stay away from these areas until the storm passes. All residents in these low-lying areas need to be evacuated by 8am Saturday.

Low-lying areas are defined as residents living in the Category 1 storm surge. The city strongly urges residents living in Category 2 to leave as well. . . . . The city is expecting heavy rains, storm surge and hurricane force winds. Roads will flood. Police, firefighters and paramedics will not be able to safely retrieve residents from these areas once the hurricane hits.

People who evacuate should stay out of the city. Evacuees should monitor weather reports, leave as soon as possible to avoid heavy traffic and stay well beyond the projected path of the hurricane.

The Category 1 areas include much of downtown, much of the area around Old Dominion and Norfolk State Universities and Willoughby Spit and parts of Ocean View, not to mention most of Ghent and Larchmont. A flood zone map can be found here (NOTE: it downloads very slowly): http://www.hremc.org/SURGE%20-%20Norfolk.pdf

The Toll of Homophobia on Straight Men

Having spent years in the closet trying to "act straight" and avoid any actions or behavior that might expose "my secret" - one that I had not even fully admitted to myself - I know the toll that it takes on a person's soul. A column in the Baltimore Sun indicates that a fear of being perceived as gay stunts and damages the relationships of many straight men as well since, God forbid, they don't want anyone to think they are one of us gays. There's truth to what the article says based on my observations in the straight world during my years in the closet. I'd also venture to say that many father/son relationships are likely damaged because both parties worry about how open love and affection might be misconstrued. It's truly a f*cked up situation: always trying to be "manly" and keep one's emotions under strict control and in the process losing opportunities to show love. It leads in my view to an emotionally stunted life. Not that the proponents of homophobia and anti-gay rhetoric likely give a damn about this larger collateral damage their religious fueled bigotry causes. Here are some highlights:
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In the 1986 movie "Stand By Me," an adult protagonist — played by Richard Dreyfuss — looks back wistfully on the friendships he formed in his youth. "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve," he muses. "Does anyone?"
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For most American men, the sad answer is "no." In surveys, men report that they rarely sustain intimate, long-standing friendships with other males after childhood. And the reason might surprise you: According to a large body of research, they're afraid of being seen as gay.
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[T]o fight intolerance against gay boys, we also need to acknowledge its toll on straights — and our entire culture. Homophobia hurts all of our boys, by driving a wedge between them. Sharing your deepest feelings with another man? That's so … gay. Or so we've been taught.
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And we've known about this problem for a long time. In the early 1980s, observing hundreds of elementary-school boys, sociologists Barrie Thorne and Zella Luria noticed that kindergarteners and first-graders hugged, joined arms and held hands. But by fifth grade, boys had forsaken these customs in favor of mock violence — poking, pushing and shoving — or ritual gestures like high-fives.
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And it's not just physical intimacy that decreases, of course. Other scholars watched teenage boys at the movies, where they often sat apart even if they came in together. Most of all, they avoided showing their emotions to each other. Even at a tear-jerk movie, it seems, boys aren't supposed to cry. That's "gay," too.
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It wasn't always that way. In the 19th century, American men declared their love for each other in fiction, poetry and song. And you can see it in photographs from the period, as well, which show men posing in physical embrace — sharing a chair, holding hands.
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All of that began to change in the early 20th century, when new fears of "feminization" started to drive men apart. As America urbanized, the argument went, men were losing the rough-hewn virtues of the old frontier. So educators began to emphasize competitive sports, especially football, which would restore the nation's endangered masculinity. And they also warned about "sissies" or "fairies," which in turn led men to turn away from each other.
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[I]n the 1950s, . . . a new homophobia stalked the land. In Congress, Joseph McCarthy and other red-baiters argued that gay men were often Communists as well. Psychologists warned against overprotective mothers, whose worries and anxieties would supposedly render their sons into homosexuals.
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The boys heard the message, of course, distancing themselves from each other. And you can hear the message still, at any school or playground, where they call each other homo, fag, or queer. That hurts the gay kids most of all, as the awful death of Tyler Clementi reminds us. But it hurts the rest of us, too, by limiting the ways that men can act and feel. And that's bad news for all American men, and for anyone — male or female — who loves them.

A Coming Out Story

Every now and then I receive wonderful messages from readers who thank me for sharing my own story about coming out, surviving the transition, etc. One of the driving reasons I started this blog was to hopefully help others that found themselves in the closet and unsure about what to do and questioning whether or not they could survive the process emotionally. While horror stories do occur where family and friends reject us, often our worse nightmares do not come to pass and we discover that in our mind we created a picture far worse than reality. Fear can be such a powerful and disabling force. Here are highlights from a message I received today from a reader in Britain who has been following this blog for a while now. I am so happy that his worse fears were not confirmed:

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I did it. I finally got a bit of honesty about my situation. I told my very homophobic Mum that I'm gay last week and she's been surprisingly cool about it. We've actually sat down since and had a proper talk about it. She knows it's what I am, that I'm not going to be changing and she's basically just stated that she wants me to be happy and if that's as a gay man then so be it. I've told 2 friends and they've been wonderful - both knew by the way :-) I'm wearing a rainbow wristband openly and Mum's just smiled. I'm OUT! Thank you Michael for all you've done for me. Without realising, your presence has helped me exponentially.

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Coming out is never easy at any age. However, it is something that can be survived and at least in my own case, living honestly and authentically has been liberating beyond belief. Like my reader's mother, my parents' main concern was my happiness. I wish my reader much happiness and self-fulfilment as he moves forward on his journey.

Delicate Sensibilities - Update

Last month I did a post about how this blog - especially the male beauty photos - offends the delicate sensibilities of some members of the Equality Virginia Legends Gala Committee and Hampton Roads Business OutReach. No doubt, the last male beauty photo post will leave them with the vapors. While it was tedious, I have now deleted several dozen posts that directly promoted HRBOR and/or the 2008 Legends Gala. I will never again promote either organization directly on this blog. However, some posts remain that mention them since the posts talk about my personal activities, including attendance at events, etc. This is after all a PERSONAL blog where I talk about my life and views.

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To me the ultimate irony of situation is that the Legends Gala's purpose (in addition to raising money for EV) is to honor LGBT and LGBT friendly citizens of the Hampton Roads community who have done the right thing or refused to deny who they are even though doing so ran against the sensibilities of significant anti-gay elements in the area. I can only assume that the complaining individuals have not fully over come the self-loathing inculcated into them by the very bigots the honorees of the event have refused to bow down to. I make no apologies about who I am or my sexual orientation. I am way past being fearful of what haters, bigots and fundamental religious fanatics think about me.

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I intend to remain involved in HRBOR - God knows this area needs something to make the business community more progressive - and will complete my duties vis-a-vis the 2008 Legends Gala. After the event in November, however, I am leaning towards washing my hands of the future Legends Galas. Why work to put on an event when host committee members lack the guts of the honorees being honored. It's just a bit too much hypocrisy for me to stomach.

Fearing Fear Itself - New York Times Op-Ed

Some consider Paul Krugman as too liberal and various other things. I do not always agree with him, but sometimes he seems able to get a direct connect with what is going on - often to the detriment of the country or its rank and file citizens. This column (http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/29/opinion/29krugman.html?_r=2&ref=opinion&oref=slogin&oref=slogin) correctly identifies how the Bush regime and those on the right who would seek to succeed it have utilized blind fear as a total to subvert the law, including the U.S Constitution. The parallels to the scene in the Imperial Senate in one of the Star Wars movies where Palpatine uses fear to gain extraordinary powers are real.

Yes, after 9-11 there was great fear and much uncertainty. Some was justified and much was not, particularly when viewed in retrospect. Living in a port city with huge volumes of cargo - most of which is NOT adequately screened - it is easy to let one's fears run amok. What if a dirty bomb or hazardous waste bomb were slipped in and detonated. You get the idea. But, fear should not be allowed to trump reason and logic and hard facts as opposed to conjecture and fantasy. Here are highlights from Krugman's column:

In America’s darkest hour, Franklin Delano Roosevelt urged the nation not to succumb to “nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror.” But that was then. Today, many of the men who hope to be the next president — including all of the candidates with a significant chance of receiving the Republican nomination — have made unreasoning, unjustified terror the centerpiece of their campaigns.

Mr. Podhoretz, the editor of Commentary and a founding neoconservative, tells us that Iran is the “main center of the Islamofascist ideology against which we have been fighting since 9/11.” The Islamofascists, he tells us, are well on their way toward creating a world “shaped by their will and tailored to their wishes.” Indeed, “Already, some observers are warning that by the end of the 21st century the whole of Europe will be transformed into a place to which they give the name Eurabia.” Do I have to point out that none of this makes a bit of sense?

For one thing, there isn’t actually any such thing as Islamofascism — it’s not an ideology; it’s a figment of the neocon imagination. The term came into vogue only because it was a way for Iraq hawks to gloss over the awkward transition from pursuing Osama bin Laden, who attacked America, to Saddam Hussein, who didn’t. And Iran had nothing whatsoever to do with 9/11.

Beyond that, the claim that Iran is on the path to global domination is beyond ludicrous. Yes, the Iranian regime is a nasty piece of work in many ways, and it would be a bad thing if that regime acquired nuclear weapons. But let’s have some perspective, please: we’re talking about a country with roughly the G.D.P. of Connecticut, and a government whose military budget is roughly the same as Sweden’s. Meanwhile, the idea that bombing will bring the Iranian regime to its knees — and bombing is the only option, since we’ve run out of troops — is pure wishful thinking. Last year Israel tried to cripple Hezbollah with an air campaign, and ended up strengthening it instead. There’s every reason to believe that an attack on Iran would produce the same result, with the added effects of endangering U.S. forces in Iraq and driving oil prices well into triple digits.

All of this would be funny if it weren’t so serious. In the wake of 9/11, the Bush administration adopted fear-mongering as a political strategy. Instead of treating the attack as what it was — an atrocity committed by a fundamentally weak, though ruthless adversary — the administration portrayed America as a nation under threat from every direction. Most Americans have now regained their balance. But the Republican base, which lapped up the administration’s rhetoric about the axis of evil and the war on terror, remains infected by the fear the Bushies stirred up — perhaps because fear of terrorists maps so easily into the base’s older fears, including fear of dark-skinned people in general.

I truly hope for a sea change in the direction of this country after the 2008 federal election, both in terms of lessening the grip of the Christianists who seek to deny equal rights to others with different views and/or sexual orientations, but more importantly in terms of regaining some of the better principles established by the nation's founding fathers and some of its great presidents (the Chimperator is NOT one of them, and in my view, may be viewed as the worse by history).