Friday, October 19, 2007

Divorce Hell and Ungrateful Children - An Explanation

Some of you have taken me to task for posting "Divorce Hell and Ungrateful Children" and revealing my son's hateful e-mail and my estranged wife secret. Yes, it was an emotional reaction, and perhaps not the best one. For now I have removed the post from the blog.
What you don't know is that in the hearing on July 31, 2007, my estranged wife and her attorney trashed the Hell out of me and were allowed to basically put me on trial for being gay. Moreover, as a result of trying to keep paying her as long as I could, I was forced to file Chapter 7 back in the beginning of the year. If she prevails and I cannot get the judge's letter opinion set aside, I will be left with (1) no retirement - she will get it all, (2) approximately $50,000 in additional money payable to her which will be filed as judgments against me, and (3) paying her $1250 a moth for the rest of her life. As a result, my credit - or what is left of it - will be completely destroyed and I will be faced with judgments I cannot possibly pay that will have ever accruing interest. Meanwhile, when we sold the marital home, stupid me, she got 2/3's of the equity to buy her a new house in a nice neighborhood. The 1/3 I received was used to pay down debts. Meanwhile, my son thinks I should just accept it all. If I do, there really is little point in going on. I will be ruined, plain and simple.
As if things cannot get worse, I may have a blood disorder. (The diagnosis is still out and I suspect that more blood work will be done next week to confirm the situation. From what I have read so far, I definitely seem to have some of the symptoms.
Meanwhile, I will be stripped of any retirement and ruined financially with no ability to appeal the case as the ex walks away with it all. Am I bitter? Damn right. Welcome to justice in Virginia. I think the judge would have ordered me stoned to death if he could have.


Java said...

Oh, Michael, that is more horrible than I had imagined! Things look pretty bleak now, but hang in there. Hold fast. Of course I don't know what's in your future, but things can get better.

I'm here if you need to talk.

Anonymous said...

It's no consolation, but other men are experiencing very similar issues. What surprises me is that the common aspect of divorce is suppose to divide things up 50:50, but time and again that is not what happens. If there is a lesson for others to learn, GAY MARRIAGE is no different. A friend who was legalized a "domestic partner" under California's law was taken to the cleaners by his sauced, philandering, non-working partner. He lost everything. And worse, they did not have a prenup, so all his separate property was deemed "community" property, including his 501k. For these and other reasons, GLB may fight for marriage equality, but I sure as hell would not do it. People bitch at the expense of doing it through attorneys. Look at the expense of doing it the "state's" way!

You have my empathy. The children will come around. The bitter wife may lessen. And you always have my ear.

daveincleveland said...

as always if you want to talk i am i said before the kids may all come around at least you have your younget, perhaps she will have some influence on the others, the the rest, well that will have a way of working its self out.....your health is #1 right now.....take care of that and the rest will fall into place