Sally Ride - RIP - Continued

I noted yesterday that the late Sally Ride's obituary "outed" her.  Now it's been confirmed by Buzzfeed.  I can only hope that LGBT youth come to realize that they have an amazing role model in Sally Ride.  While a private person by all accounts and one who shied away from activism, through her life and accomplishments, Sally Ride exposed the lies used against LGBT individuals by our enemies virtually daily.  Here are some highlights from Buzzfeed:

Sally Ride, who died today after a 17-month battle with pancreatic cancer, was the first female U.S. astronaut in space and became friends with Tam O'Shaugnessy at the age of 12. It was not until today, however — nearly 50 years after meeting — that their 27-year romantic relationship was made public.

The pioneering scientist was, a statement from Sally Ride Science announced, survived by "Tam O'Shaughnessy, her partner of 27 years."   With that simple statement — listed alongside her mother, Joyce; her sister, Bear; her niece, Caitlin and nephew, Whitney — Ride came out.

Bear Ride, talking with BuzzFeed, said today, "We consider Tam a member of the family."


Saying that her sister was a very private person, Bear Ride said, "People did not know she had pancreatic cancer, that's going to be a huge shock. For 17 months, nobody knew -- and everyone does now. Her memorial fund is going to be in support of pancreatic cancer.   "The pancreatic cancer community is going to be absolutely thrilled that there's now this advocate that they didn't know about. And, I hope the GLBT community feels the same," Bear Ride, who identifies as gay, said.   "I hope it makes it easier for kids growing up gay that they know that another one of their heroes was like them," she added.


Bear Ride, though, said that her sister "never hid her relationship with Tam. They have been partners, business partners in Sally Ride Science, they've written books together .... Sally's very close friends, of course, knew."


Of Sally Ride's sexual orientation, Bear Ride said, "Sally didn't use labels. Sally had a very fundamental sense of privacy, it was just her nature, because we're Norwegians, through and through."


Calling Ride "a patriot and a pioneer," Human Rights Campaign president Chad Griffin told BuzzFeed, "For many Americans, coming out will be the hardest thing they ever do. While it's a shame that Americans were not able to experience this aspect of Sally while alive, we should all be proud of the fact that like many LGBT Americans, she proudly served her country, had a committed and loving relationship, and lived a good life."

Of the further implications of today's news, Griffin added: "The fact that Sally Ride was a lesbian will further help round out Americans's understanding of the contributions of LGBT Americans to our country.

As members of the LGBT community, many of us - especially LGBT youth who may find themselves being raised in toxic religious denominations - are told daily that we are no good, that we are perverts, or worse.  It takes strength and self-acceptance to carry on.  Ride carried on amazingly and is indeed a great role model.


Sally Ride - RIP

As numerous media outlets are reporting, Sally Ride, the first American woman to fly in space, died today after a battle against pancreatic cancer. She was 61. Ride was truly a trailblazer in many ways and in her post astronaut days she continued her work to inspire young people, especially girls, to pursue careers in science and engineering.  One thing in the CNN coverage jumped out at me:

Ride's office said she is survived by Tam O'Shaughnessy, her partner of 27 years; her mother, Joyce; her sister, Bear, a niece and a nephew. 

Yes, that's right, Ride was apparently a member of the LGBT community albeit this aspect of her life was surprising to many - myself included.  Ride is another example of why our history instruction needs to feature accomplished LGBT Americans.  Actually, accomplished LGBT individuals of all nationalities.  It is a critical tool in ending religious based bigotry against LGBT people and destroying the stereotypes peddled by the far right virtually every day.  Here are more details from the CNN piece on Sally Ride's remarkable life that ended all too early:

Ride died at her home in the San Diego suburb of La Jolla, said Terry McEntee, a spokeswoman for her company, Sally Ride Science. She was a private person and the details of her illness were kept to just a few people, she said.

Ride rode into space on the space shuttle Challenger in 1983 when she was 32. After her flight, more than 42 other American women flew in space, NASA said.

"Sally was a national hero and a powerful role model. She inspired generations of young girls to reach for the stars," President Barack Obama said in a statement. 

NASA Administrator Charles Bolden, a former astronaut, said Ride "broke barriers with grace and professionalism -- and literally changed the face of America's space program."  "The nation has lost one of its finest leaders, teachers and explorers," he said in a statement.

Ride was a physicist, writer of five science books for children and president of her own company. She had also been a professor of physics at the University of California in San Diego.

Ride flew in space twice, both times on Challenger in 1983 and in 1984, logging 343 hours in space. A third flight was cancelled when Challenger exploded in 1986. She was on the commission investigating that accident and later served on the panel for the 2003 Columbia shuttle accident, the only person on both boards.  She also was on the president's committee of science advisers.

One of Ride's last legacies was allowing middle school students to take their own pictures of the moon using cameras aboard NASA's twin Grail spacecraft in a project spearheaded by her company.  "Sally literally could have done anything with her life. She decided to devote her life to education and to inspiring young people. To me, that's such a powerful thing. It's extraordinarily admirable," said Maria Zuber, a professor at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology who heads the Grail mission.

What an amazing legacy.  May she rest in peace.  I hope she will continue to be a role model for and inspire youth.  The Washington Post also has a good article here.

Frank Ocean Performs 'Bad Religion'

I noted last week that singer/songwriter Frank Ocean had come out and acknowledged that his first love was another man causing a stir in both the hip-hop and R&B music worlds. Last night Ocean made his first ever television appearance on Jimmy Fallon's stage and performed out "Bad Religion," which is a track from his debut album Channel Orange.   A video clip is set out below.   As noted in my post last week, part of Frank Ocean's coming out statement was  “I don’t have any secrets I need kept any more.”  He's apparently making good on that statement since the lyrics of "Bad Religion" read in part as follows:

This unrequited love
To me it's nothing but
A one-man cult
And cyanide in my styrofoam cup
I could never make him love me
Never make him love me
Love
Love
…
It's a bad religion
To be in love with someone
Who could never love you
I know
Only bad religion
Could have me feeling the way I do

Needless to say, I also believe that the title of the song sends a message about religion that focuses on fear and hatred of others.  Here's the video clip:

I continue to wish Ocean the best of everything on his journey. From my own experience, admitting who one really is and not feeling the need to lie and hide anymore is a remarkable, liberating experience.  For me, it was as if a huge, huge weight had been taken off of me.  Yes, moments of fear persisted at times, but over all, it was perhaps the most soul restoring thing I have experienced.  I sincerely hope that Ocean finds the liberation and self-acceptance that I found.  I also hope that his courage will inspire others to stop lying to both themselves and those around them.

Support OBX Pridefest and Gay Friendly Dare County, NC

As noted before, the organizers of OBX Pridefest have been concerned over the consequences of the Amendment One Vote on this year's Pridefest event.  Initial reports of voting results incorrectly put Dare County in the column of bigoted counties that had voted for passage of the hideously anti-gay Amendment One.  Final tallies, however, showed that Dare County - the only county not home to a major city or university - had in fact voted against  Amendment One.  The organizers of Pridefest hope the word will get out that their portion of the Outer Banks is gay friendly and that supporters will come down and support their event.  As I have noted before, the Boyfriend and I attended last year's inaugural event and had a wonderful time. And, yes, we will be attending again this year.  Information on OBX Pridefest can be found HERE.  An article in the Virginian Pilot looks at the Dare County vote and the hopes and efforts of the Pridefest Organizers.  Here are article excerpts:

The first thing David Miller did when he heard that Dare County had voted down Amendment 1 opposing gay marriage was head to Facebook.

"There is no reason to boycott Dare County, North Carolina!" wrote Miller, who co-founded the nonprofit entity that organizes the gay-pride event OBX Pridefest. "We are the progressive, free-thinkers in this part of the state."

Miller had particular reason to be worried about the publicity over Amendment 1, which changed the state's constitution to define marriage solely as a union between a man and a woman. After it passed overwhelmingly, receiving 61 percent of 2.1 million votes in North Carolina, Miller heard from visitors saying they were no longer coming to his June event, to show opposition to the voting results.  "There was a very emotional, knee-jerk reaction from a lot of folks up North," he said.

Miller said he now thinks the publicity could help the 2-year-old OBX Pridefest, with more visitors venturing to the Outer Banks to show solidarity with the gay community. He's expecting 2,000 people to attend, up from 1,500 last year, partly because of the attention the amendment has attracted. The event will be held June 15-18.

Beth Storie was proud of her county's vote, but not necessarily surprised by it. In the 35 years she's lived here, she said she's noticed an acceptance in Dare that doesn't exist in neighboring counties.

Storie, who is not gay, planted a sign reading "Vote Against Amendment 1" in the yard of her Manteo home. A neighbor down the street had one, too. She thought it would encourage a dialogue with those holding a different view, but she's gotten more messages of support than contradiction.

"Even if they don't agree with it, they still practice tolerance" of gay people, she said. An active arts community has helped attract people with more variety in points of view, she added.

I sincerely hope that readers within reasonable distance of the Outer Banks will consider visiting OBX Pridefest.  I hope to see you there.

A Sincere Thank You to Readers

As the counter on this blog on the lower right indicates, since I first added the counter, the blog has had over 250,000 distinct visitors from 198 countries. More over, the behind the scenes analytics on the blog indicate that currently the blog is receiving over 27,000 pages views per month. Compared to some blogs, it's still petty ante, but I am truly amazed and humbled that so many of you have found my efforts of interest and that some of you have been amazingly loyal since the very beginning of the effort.

This blog began as a form of therapy for me when I truly needed it desperately during some of my very, very dark days of my coming out journey and horrific divorce saga. It also served as a means for me to share my journey and hopefully allow others to benefit from my mistakes and my my successes along the way as well. It has been amazing to hear stories from others literally around the globe in reaction. One of the hardest things in coming out is the feeling at times that one is utterly alone. Time and time again readers made it clear that I was never truly alone. And for that I cannot thank you all enough.

My Lifeline - My Wonderful Readers

I think people at times do not understand how blogging can become a significant part of one's life. In my own case, my readers and their comments and supportive communications to me are often a lifeline for me when I am feeling overwhelmed or even to the point of giving up on my journey/life. While I receive wonderful messages such as the one below that say that I have given strength to others, the reality is that my readers are the often the ones who have given me the strength to carry on. Here's a portion of a recent message that I just referenced from someone thousands of miles away whom I have never met in person:

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Michael, thank you for being in my life. I'm glad I know you. My life would be poorer without you in it. Thank you for all you do and all that you are. Your tremendous courage regarding being gay has enabled me to be who I am today. THANK YOU xxx

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As frequent readers know, things have been very rough for me of late and the post-divorce nightmare has pushed me near the point of contemplating another overdose/suicide attempt. Having been stripped of almost all of my financial possessions in the divorce, I refuse to allow the anti-gay prejudiced Virginia legal system - and the bigoted judges I have had to face in particular - to take away my dignity as well. What has helped me to hold on and not give in to the urge to simply end it all to date has been not only my concerns for how my death would impact my children, the boyfriend, my mother and my siblings, but also my fear that I'd be failing my readers like the one who authored the quoted message. Maybe it's pride on my part, but I do not want to let my cyberspace friends and family down either.

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I would ask each one of your to never underestimate your own power to pass on strength to me and others around you. The coming out process and living with dignity in an anti-gay society takes a great deal of support and I thank all those who have been so supportive of me. Time and time again my readers have been there when I needed them and you all underestimate how important you are in helping me to try to stay true to my journey. Please accept my sincere thank you.