Facing Down Old Demons

I noted yesterday that August 24, 2012, is the 10 year anniversary of the day I moved out of the family home and began my effort to find self-acceptance and some kind of peace in my life in terms of who I was/am as a gay man.  For those who have contacted me with word of kindness in follow up to that post, please accept my sincere thanks.  As long time readers know, there were times in the past when this blog was a true lifeline for me. I'm amazed that some of you have remained loyal readers over the last 5+ years.  And again, all I can say is "thank you."

An irony about yesterday that I had not shared was that there was an "old timers" reunion/party at the neighborhood pool where I once spent so much time, served on the board of directors for over five years and served as president two years.  The pool manager/swim team coach of three decades was the motivating force behind the event.  I had real trepidation about going - some of my former "friends" had been less than supportive when I came out and moved out.   Others were wonderful and some have remained legal clients and true friends of mine to this day. 

In any event, the boyfriend and I and my youngest daughter all went to the event and much to my surprise it turned out to be a great event and virtually everyone was friendly and gracious to the boyfriend and me.  Perhaps it was out of a knowledge that I had more sweat equity if you will in the facility than many of them.  Or perhaps the former gossips in the crowd had come to rethink their past catty behavior.  In any event, I decided that I would not be kept away by my fears of possible rejection and we proudly and openly attended the event.  Not surprisingly, the boyfriend charmed everyone that he talked with.  

After the event ended, we went over to the home of one of the couples who had always remained supportive to me and before we knew it another three hours had gone by.  I am very glad I went and the lesson to me and others is to be confident with who you are and hang on to the mindset "if  you don't like me, the loss is yours."  Holding you head up high and being confident can really set the tone.