Another Self-Inflicted Victim of the Closet

According to 365gay.com (http://www.365gay.com/Newscon07/05/050107bp.htm), the chair of international oil giant British Petroleum has resigned after it emerged he had lied in court during a lawsuit to prevent his former gay lover from doing a tell-all interview with a tabloid. It appears Lord Browne is yet another casualty of trying to lead a double life rather than admit to the world (and perhaps fully to himself) who he really is. I truly long for the day when no one feels the need to hide their sexual orientation and lead much of their life an actor on a stage:

“Lord Browne of Madingley, said to be the most powerful businessman in Britain, tendered his resignation after documents related to the trial were made public by the House of Lords, the UK's highest court. Browne was to have stepped down later this year.

His decision to leave now means he forfeits an estimated $25 million bonus from BP. During his tenure at the oil company he amended the company's worldwide employment policy to add sexuality to the categories protected from on the job harassment.”

I guess the one positive benefit from Lord Browne’s situation was the advancement of a non-discrimination based on sexual orientation policy throughout British Petroleum. It’s sad that he did not feel that he could apply that policy to himself.

Virginia-Vermont Lesbian Custody Fight

The U. S. Supreme Court correctly refused to intervene in a decision by a three judge panel of the Virginia Court of Appeals that rejected the argument that a Vermont joint custody order cannot be enforced in a state that does not permit same-sex civil unions. Had the Supreme Court taken the case, it would have had to follow the long standing precedent of the courts holding that states must enforce the custody rulings of other states.

Lisa Miller, who moved to Virginia and basically kidnapped the couple’s child, was attempting to forum shop, hoping Virginia’s anti-gay laws would help her cause. She is represented by Matthew Staver of Liberty Counsel, a self-styled “Christian” legal firm affiliated with some of the most extreme anti-gay organizations in the country that takes on cases all around the county seeking to deprive gays of equality. No doubt Mr. Staver found the case all the more attractive because Lisa Miller claims to have found religion and been “cured:”

“In a telephone interview Monday, Miller said she is no longer a lesbian, and she accused Jenkins of "religious persecution."
"She's trying to say that because of the way I am teaching Isabella to walk with the Lord and that homosexuality is a sin, I am not looking out for Isabella's best interest," Miller said.
Jenkins is seeking primary custody of Isabella in Vermont courts. One of her attorneys, Jennifer Levi, said their case is not based on Miller's religious beliefs but on her refusal to comply with previous court instructions.” http://content.hamptonroads.com/story.cfm?story=123807&ran=8040

Unfortunately, the Virginia Court of Appeals did not have to take evidence on the fraudulent nature of Ms. Miller’s “cure” claim and was able to rule to enforce the Vermont custody order based on long standing practice. If and when the right case arises that will allow it to be proven in court that the claim that gays can be “cured” is false, perhaps the Matthew Stavers of the world will see their job opportunities wither away. I would love to see an ex-ex-gay file a lawsuit against Exodus International or its affiliates for injury caused from their bogus cure programs.

Hell Hath No Furry Like the Straight Spouse

Having come out of the closet myself much later in life after being married and having three children, on one measure I can identify with the situation in the increasingly hostile McGreevey divorce case of former Gov. McGreevey: (see: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-%20yn/content/article/2007/04/28/AR2007042800205.html) even though I in no way condone the former governor’s apparent sleeping around and sleazy truck stop sex trysts while married. It is very hard to get an estranged wife to accept that you did not marry her or come out of the closet simply to hurt her or destroy her otherwise pleasant life.

My own divorce – which I am attempting to finalize after over four years of separation – is increasingly nasty and my estranged wife seems to want nothing more than to punish me for the rest of my life for “what I did to her.” Meanwhile, she forgets that she is the one that gave me the ultimatum to either "go back in the closet and never come out, or move out." I doubt she will ever believed that I never set out or intended to hurt her. Nor, I guess can anyone who has not been in the closet and in extreme denial for many, many years appreciate what religious based bigotry and societal judgments did to me. It has taken time to finally put all the religious based self-hate and feelings of guilt behind me (I will post again describing the process). I continue to hope that in my own divorce case my, estranged spouse will eventually opt for the comments of the judge hearing the McGreevey case:

“ELIZABETH, N.J. -- A judge handling the contentious divorce of the nation's first openly gay governor and his estranged wife urged them on Friday to use "common sense" during their split. Judge Karen Cassidy also called former Gov. James E. McGreevey's sexual orientation insignificant to the case.”

Fortunately, even here in Norfolk, two judges have said that my sexual orientation is insignificant to the case each time my estranged wife’s attorney has attempted to play the gay card. The saddest thing is that for now, two of my children (all of my children are now over 18) are not even speaking to me because of the poison they hear from their mother. Fortunately, my youngest child seems to be coming around. Despite the hurt I have received from my children, they continue to be one of my greatest joys and a source of immense pride.

Homophobia Alive and Well in Hampton Roads

Some of the comments on the Virginia Pilot web site in respect to yesterday's article on the newly formed Hampton Roads Business Out Reach clearly show why this area continues to be a relative backwater notwithstanding its fairly large population (i.e., over 1.6 million people). Neither progressive businesses nor the so-called "creative class" that develops innovations and is accepting of differences are going to come to an area dominated by knuckle dragging Bible beaters. Here's a sampling of what the Neanderthals had to say:

National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce. Stop it before it starts. We already have enough damaging ethics going around now to damge our children growing up. We do not need to teach our kids that this kind of behavoir is normal!~(or right in any way) - James M. - Virginia Beach National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce (view comment)

I Don't Think So. Only "simple" organisms are capable of asexual reproduction. God made Adam and Eve, Not Adam and "Steve"!! So why promote this abomination in business? - Tracey E. - Chesapeake

Want to know. I'm happy to see that we will now be able to learn which businesses cater to homosexuals. Those places were "I" will not spend amy of my money! So go ahead , keep me advised. - zeno n. - chesapeake

I am sure that these homophobes would be shocked to know that even Wal-Mart now rates a 65% score on the Human Rights Campaign corporate score card and, among other things, offers the following gay-friendly programs and policies (I guess zeno will have nowhere to shop now):


1. includes “sexual orientation” in its equal employment opportunity policy.

2. provides diversity training on sexual orientation.

3. offers at least one transgender wellness benefit.

4. provides domestic partner dental, vision, dependent and COBRA coverage onpar with spousal benefits.

5. supports a GLBT employee resource group OR company has a GLBT-inclusivediversity council.

6. has directed appropriate marketing or philanthropy toward the GLBT community.

I wish I could send these jerks a copy of the photo posted above - perhaps they'd blow a gasket.

Poison from the "Family" Values Crowd

Pam Spaulding's blog posted the information set out below about the lies and disinformation being put out by Traditional Values Coalition (one of the "Christian" groups that loves to quote the false research of Paul Cameron discussed in my earlier post). While I still monitor the TVC web site, from time to time, the amount of hate spewing from the site can make one literally feel ill. I would love an opportunity to debate Sheldon on camera and expose him for the liar he is. Last fall when I was in a debate on the Virginia Marriage Amendment sponsored by the Libertarian Party, a member of the audience (who turned out to be on the faculty at Pat Robertson's Regent University) tried to quote some of Paul Cameron's garbage and I was able to shut him down by citing some of the data in my earlier post. All of us need to educate ourselves so that we can expose these liars so that fewer LBGT individuals suffer the horrible death of Matthew Shepard (the photo is of the fence above where Matthew died). Here's Rev. Sheldon's latest poison:

"Homosexual/Drag Queen Hate Crimes Bill On Fast Track
We must defeat H.R. 1592, the Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act of 2007, by Judiciary Committee Chairman John Conyers, Democrat from Michigan.
Without your action, this anti-Christian legislation will pass -- under the guise of hate-crime prevention -- and accomplish the following homosexual goals:

* Silence the Bible-believing Churches, Pastors and Christians
* Criminalize so-called "hate speech," - which is any speech that is critical of homosexuality or cross-dressing behaviors. The suppression of free speech will be justified by the claim that such speech "incites" individuals to commit violence against homosexuals, cross-dressers etc. Any remarks about homosexuality, such as reading Bible passages, preaching on these passages, telling a person they can come out of the homosexual lifestyle, etc. will be deemed critical remarks and will be ruled to be outside the bounds of First Amendment protections for pastors, business owners and individuals.
* Elevate homosexuality and gender confused individuals such as drag queens, cross-dressers, she-males, etc. to the status of federally-protected minorities. These behaviors will be considered equal to race under the federal law.
* Interfere with local law enforcement by elevating every alleged incident of "hate" against a homosexual or cross-dresser into a federal crime.
* Fund anti-Christian curriculum for children K-12, through the U.S. Departments of Education and Justice to promote homosexuality and cross-dressing as normal behaviors."

I find it interesting that Jesus spent most of his time condemning the self-righteous of his time (who acted not unlike Rev. Sheldon) as opposed to condemning so-called "sinners" who did not conform to the legalism and hypocrisy of the the scribes and Pharisees.

Ex-Gays and Paul Cameron's Bogus Research

Richard Rothstein over at QueerSighted (http://www.queersighted.com/) has a post that rings all too true to my experience:

“While the other adolescent boys were learning how to be themselves, I was learning how to be like them. I was an observer and a chameleon. By the age of 12, I fully understood that I was profoundly different from other boys. While they were discovering girls, I was discovering them--and I knew it was wrong. How did I know it was wrong? Because it was completely different from everything I saw on TV, in the movies and read in books and comics. Prince Charming wanted Cinderella and Snow White not Robin Hood and Tarzan. I was completely alone. No one and nothing wanted what I wanted.”

Needless to say, my sense of isolation was nearly overwhelming at times. Sadly, those who seek to perpetuate the “it’s a choice” myth continue to cite false and discredited research, cause in my view deliberate harm to gays of all ages. The latest example is Exodus International which has references to long discredited “research” of Paul Cameron on its website as discussed by Mike Airhart (who I have met while visiting D.C) on Ex-Gay Watch (http://www.exgaywatch.com/wp/2007/04/exodus-web-site-promotes-discredited-research-of-paul-cameron/). My comments in an August, 2003, e-mail debate with Peter LaBarbera fully describe the fraud worked by Paul Cameron and those who cite his “research:”

“Mr. LaBarbera,

You asked for back up regarding PaulCameron's anti-gay statements. I have set forth below a web address for a web page on the hatecrime.org web site that sets out a number of "loving" statements by Paul Cameron.

Hatecrime.org: http://www.hatecrime.org/subpages/hatespeech/cameron.html

I have also set out the web addresses for two web page with articles by Cameron.

1. "What Causes Homosexual Desire and Can It Be Changed?" at:

http://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron3.html#footnote

2. "MEDICAL CONSEQUENCES OF WHAT HOMOSEXUALS DO" at:

http://www.biblebelievers.com/Cameron2.html#info

Some of his statements are truly outrageous and are anything but objective medical analysis. My personal favorites are: (1) "gays average somewhere between 106 and 1105 different partners/year," (2) "A large minority of gays engage in torture for sexual fun, " (3) "25% of white gays admitted to sex with boys 16 or younger as adults." I don't for the life of me know who these individuals were that gave Cameron such wild and inflammatory information. Certainly none of the gays I know, know of, or have read about support these claims. The vast majority in reality hold responsible jobs and lead regular and fairly dull lives, etc.

As indicated below, Cameron's studies were in fact bogus. I have found no reputable medical authorities that agree with Cameron's incredible claims. Instead, one finds that he has been publicly censured and thrown out of professional organizations for his conduct. Yet, he is regularly cited by "Christian" Right organizations as authority for their statements.

As further evidence that Cameron should not be relied on as a legitimate authority, the following information is off of a Psychology site at the University of California at Davis:

Paul Cameron Bio and Fact Sheet

Paul Drummond Cameron was born November 9, 1939, in Pittsburgh (PA).
He received his BA from Los Angeles Pacific College in 1961; his MA from California State University, Los Angeles, in 1962; and his PhD from the University of Colorado in 1966. His dissertation was titled Age as a determinant of differences in non-intellective psychological functioning.1

He was affiliated with various colleges and universities until 1980. They include Wayne State University (1967-68), University of Louisville (1970-73), Fuller Graduate School of Psychology [part of the Fuller Theological Seminary] (1976-79), and the University of Nebraska (1979-80).

On his curriculum vitae, he describes himself as a "Researcher/Clinician." According to the web site of the Nebraska Department of HHS Regulation and Licensure, his license as a Psychologist is "inactive."

He is chairman of the Family Research Institute, PO Box 62640, Colorado Springs, CO, 80962-2640. Telephone: (303) 681-3113. Fax: (303) 681-3427. E-mail: pdcameron@juno.com

In the mid-1980s, the gay press labeled Paul Cameron "the most dangerous antigay voice in the United States today."2, 3, 4. Here are some important facts about him.

On December 2, 1983, the American Psychological Association sent Paul Cameron a letter informing him that he had been dropped from membership. Early in 1984, all members of the American Psychological Association received official written notice that "Paul Cameron (Nebraska) was dropped from membership for a violation of the Preamble to the Ethical Principles of Psychologists" by the APA Board of Directors.5 Cameron has posted an elaborate argument about his expulsion from APA on his website, claiming that he resigned from APA before he was dropped from membership. Like most organizations, however, APA does not allow a member to resign when they are being investigated. And even if Cameron's claims were accepted as true, it would be remarkable that the largest professional organization of psychologists in the United States (and other professional associations, as noted below) went to such lengths to disassociate itself from one individual.

At its membership meeting on October 19, 1984, the Nebraska Psychological Association adopted a resolution stating that it "formally disassociates itself from the representations and interpretations of scientific literature offered by Dr. Paul Cameron in his writings and public statements on sexuality."6

In 1985, the American Sociological Association (ASA) adopted a resolution which asserted that "Dr. Paul Cameron has consistently misinterpreted and misrepresented sociological research on sexuality, homosexuality, and lesbianism" and noted that "Dr. Paul Cameron has repeatedly campaigned for the abrogation of the civil rights of lesbians and gay men, substantiating his call on the basis of his distorted interpretation of this research."7 The resolution formally charged an ASA committee with the task of "critically evaluating and publicly responding to the work of Dr. Paul Cameron."
At its August, 1986 meeting, the ASA officially accepted the committee's report and passed the following resolution:

The American Sociological Association officially and publicly states that Paul Cameron is not a sociologist, and condemns his consistent misrepresentation of sociological research. Information on this action and a copy of the report by the Committee on the Status of Homosexuals in Sociology, "The Paul Cameron Case," is to be published in Footnotes, and be sent to the officers of all regional and state sociological associations and to the Canadian Sociological Association with a request that they alert their members to Cameron's frequent lecture and media appearances."8

Cameron's credibility was also questioned outside of academia. In his written opinion in Baker v. Wade (1985), Judge Buchmeyer of the U.S. District Court of Dallas referred to "Cameron's sworn statement that 'homosexuals abuse children at a proportionately greater incident than do heterosexuals,'" and concluded that "Dr. Paul Cameron...has himself made misrepresentations to this Court" and that "There has been no fraud or misrepresentations except by Dr. Cameron" (p.536).9”

Notwithstanding being provided with this information, LaBarbera continues to spin blatantly false propaganda against gay Americans. Obviously, anyone who cites Cameron’s “research,” has little desire to tell the truth and is obviously further some disturb religious or political agenda. Unfortunately, the mainstream media NEVER challenges these false Christians with the true facts of their alleged underlying expert research.

Gaysted Sraight Guys

I first saw this on Andrew Sullivan's blog and found it very funny.

. . . there are those who pretend to be gay, but also those who are accidentally gay. Of course you know the term "gaysted," which is what a too-drunk heterosexual can become without knowing it's happening. The website BuzzFeed expounds:

"It is when you are soooo drunk (wasted) and dudes start dancing with you and you just sort of go along with it and then they start putting their arms around you and you just kind of keep rolling with it because you're drunk and you sort of think the dude is being your dancefloor bro, but then when you sober up you realize that the situash is sort of weird. When this happens, you tell your friends, "dude, i got so gaysted last night."

Eye Candy

I figured that I cannot be too serious on this blog and, therefore, wanted to post a picture of a cute young guy.

More Ex-gay Fraud

Wayne Besen has a good column on the dishonesty of the “Christian” Right forces in opposing proposed federal hate crimes legislation to be named after Matthew Shepard. (See: http://www.waynebesen.com/2007/04/battle-over-hate-crime-legislation.html). Have worked with Wayne and had the opportunity to get to know him in connection with unmasking prominent “ex-gay,” Michael Johnston, it is good to know that we have people like Wayne working to expose the lies and untruths spread by the likes of the Family Research Council, Focus on the Family and other modern day Pharisee organizations.

A description of Michael Johnston’s unmasking can be found in this Washington Blade story: http://www.washingtonblade.com/2003/8-8/news/national/exgay.cfm in which yours truly is quoted. Sadly, some among the far “Christian Right” – e.g., the American Family Association (“AFA”) and Americans for Truth - are once again claiming that Michael Johnston is “cured” and marketing (for $15.00 and $10.00, respectively) an anti-gay video, "It's Not Gay." Michael Johnston is featured as one of the “former homosexuals.” Peter LaBarbera, the founder of Americans for Truth, previously worked with Johnston at the now defunct Kerusso Ministries, based in Newport News, Virginia, and knows in full about Johnston’s “moral fall.” Yet he and Don Wildmon at AFA continue to work this fraud on the public.

I hope readers will take the time to contact their representatives in Congress and express their support for both the Matthew Shepard bill and the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. While in my view the Human Rights Campaign is not sufficiently transparent with how it uses its money and seems to hold too many dinner galas instead of fighting in the trenches, the HRC website does provide a means to contact one’s legislators: http://www.hrc.org/Content/NavigationMenu/HRC/Get_Informed/Federal_Legislation/Index.htm.

Bullying, Discrimination and Christian Pharisees

One of my favorite LBGT activist bloggers is Pam Spaulding at Pam’s House Blend (see: http://www.pamshouseblend.com/frontPage.do). She like many others has discussed the Virginia Tech massacre and raised the issue of what effect bullying and discrimination might have had on setting off Cho Seung-Hui’s rampage. While nothing excuses Cho’s despicable actions, it interesting that he and other school mass murders seem to hold grudges against society, other students, etc., due to the perceived mistreatment they received.

Many of us experienced less than wonderful school days – I myself recall cat calls of “faggot” and “sissy” among other painful remarks in junior high and high school. As I have commented before, not being a great team athlete certainly did not help my cause. Thus, for me, college was a chance to reinvent myself and escape the frequent unhappiness of high school. The wounds healed in time, but apparently not so for Cho, it would seem in significant part due to his own imposed isolation and/or mental illness.

All of this brings to mind the improvements that have transpired in the last 35+ years me since I was in high school. Many schools have sought to implement anti-bully campaigns and other programs, although all too often it seems that teachers and school administrators still simply turn a blind eye to the mistreatment of students right in front of them. Thus, bigots and the “popular set” continue to make life hell for far too many individuals.

What I find most is remarkable is that wherever anti-bullying and non-discrimination plans or legislation are sought to be implemented, time and time again those who oppose them are so-called “Christians,” led by the likes of Tony Perkins at the Family Research Council (funny how the media always seem to forget to ask Mr. Perkins about his past ties to David Duke and the Klu Klux Klan) or James Dobson at Focus on the Family. Having read the New Testament and many other scholarly works on the Bible, the one message that rings through over and over again is that Jesus did NOT condone bullying or discrimination. In fact, time and time again the only individuals who receive his condemnation are the Pharisees and chief religious leaders of the Jews at the time. In my estimation, Messrs. Perkins, Dobson, and others of their ilk are anything but Christian. Sadly, the main stream news media never calls them on their un-Christian behavior, their lack of legitimate credentials in areas in which they claim to be authorities, or the theocratic nature of their political efforts. Thank heavens that the blogisphere exists and more and more individuals get their news from people like Pam Spaulding who are not afraid to call out the truth and challenge hypocrites and modern day Pharisees.