Nearly Half of Gays in Therapy

The Advocate has a story with statistics that I do not find at all surprising given the constant anti-gay message disseminated by so many religious denominations and the fear many of us have on the employment front for lack of employment non-discrimination laws - gays and lesbians get mental health treatment at twice the rate of heterosexuals. Constant dehumanization, being told that one is doomed to go to Hell, and fears of family rejection take a significant toll. In my own case, therapy helped me overcome decades of religious poison. Once I had put that issue behind me, therapy also helped me begin to move on with my life and accept my sexual orientation. For readers who are in the closet and who have not tried therapy, I strongly recommend it regardless of whether you decide to come out. I continue to rely on therapy and medication to help me get through the nastiness of the post divorce wars and push back suicidal thoughts when I find myself subjected to Virginia's anti-gay legal system. Here are highlights from the Advocate story:

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Gays and lesbians get mental health treatment at twice the rate of heterosexuals, a new study concludes. The group least likely to seek treatment? Heterosexual men. . . . . 48% of lesbian, gay, and bisexual men and women have received treatment in the past year, compared to 22% of straight people.

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"The pervasive and historically rooted societal pathologizing of homosexuality may contribute to this propensity for treatment by construing homosexuality and issues associated with it as mental health problems," said Susan Cochran, professor of epidemiology at the UCLA School of Public Health and one of the study's authors.

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Many LGBT individuals do not have diagnosable disorders but seek treatment for psychological distress, the report shows. The study also found that ethnic and racial minorities are less likely to use mental health services. The study was published today in the journal BMC Psychiatry.

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I believe that only when (1) the spiritual murder that so many religious denominations inflict on LGBT individuals truly ends and (2) LGBT citizens secure equality under the civil laws will we see a significant change in the higher rate of therapy among the LGBT community. Being relentlessly stigmatized takes a significant toll.

The Reality and Worth of Same Sex Love

If one follows the words of the hate merchants among the Christian Right when it comes to gay relationships it soon becomes apparent that our relationships are reduced to physical sex acts, usually with emphasis on whatever aspects these false Christians believe will be the most repellant to their sheep like followers who prefer to avoid any meaningful thought process on their own. Nowhere do our enemies acknowledge that just as heterosexual couples know and experience romantic love, so do we. It is part and parcel of their effort to dehumanize us and make us "other" to their followers so that the deprivation of civil rights and other recognitios of our relationships becomes acceptable. Of course, it's a lie - like so much of what these vicious groups put out about same-sex couples.

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Some years back I sent an e-mail to a Lutheran seminary professor who was going to a conference where he was going to be speaking in opposition to Warren Throckmorton who had been hired as a speaker by a reactionary Lutheran Synod. The e-mail was about gay love and later I shared it with students in a religion class where I had been invited to speak as a "gay Christian" by an adjuct professor that I knew. The college professor subsequently told me that in subsequent class sessions that my message had prompted more discussion than he had previously seen in 20 years of teaching. Here are some highlights that folks are free to use as they wish:

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I wanted to respond further to one remark you made at lunch: the claim that gays do not experience deep romantic love with each other. Pardon my French, but that is such bull shit and obviously, it is aimed at demeaning gay relationships. My own experience has shown that to be such a lie.

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As I indicated, I had a long distance boy friend for over a year - he and I met when I was on a trip to Chicago for a legal seminar. For me it was love at first sight, but it developed into an amazing love that transcended anything merely physical. I just finished a short novel based on the screen play for a gay love story movie currently playing in some cities in the USA called "Latter Days" (see: http://www.latterdaysmovie.com). Hopefully, the movie will come to Norfolk at some point. In the book, there is a passage that describes somewhat what I experienced with him (the words in brackets were added by me based on my own experiences):

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"And then their eyes locked. And Christian knew that no matter what the circumstances were, Aaron did not, and would not want him to ever go. He slowly reached up to caress Aaron's cheekbone with his thumbs. Their faces moved closer. Their noses, then their lips touched. The world stopped,and Christian again experienced the sense of being floated in a prism, a prism filled only with their breath, and their racing hearts, and their kiss. It was like the room was circling them, as if the entire universe had broken apart and heaven had been laid wide open . . . [and God's love surrounded them and transformed them into one - a perfect oneness, soul to soul and body to body, enveloped in God's love]."

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If what I experienced with my boyfriend isn't love, I do not know what is. Part of me will deeply love him and yearn for his happiness and well being until the day I die. We experienced, however briefly, a communion of our souls (holding each other in our arms was of no account compared to the soul to soul connect we felt) and I wanted time to stop and for the moment to never end. The miracle of our emotional connection and love for each other rates up there with seeing my children born and, to me, was a near religious experience. In my oneness with him, I truly felt God's love. It's so hard to convey into words the experience. . . . . It outrages me that some would say that my relationship with him was of no meaning or value. Those who would say such a thing either (1) have never known true love themselves, or (2) are just plain vicious and cruel. If you ever need a testimony on gay to gay love to counter the cruel allegations of gay-haters, please feel free to use this e-mail. I view the love I experienced with him as nothing less than an incredible gift from God.

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It has taken time, but I am happy to report that I have rediscovered that sense of wonder and sense of being blessed by God in my current relationship with the boyfriend and I defy the Christianists to try to minimize our relationship to merely something physical. Love is love whether between a gay couple or a straight couple. As is always the case, the Christianists seek to work a form of spiritual murder on members of the LGBT community in their push for theocracy.