Same-Sex Relationships Increase Gay Teen Self-Esteem

Another study is out which, like the UVA study on gay parenting, confirms what intuitively is merely common sense - gay teens who have affirming same sex relationships have increased self esteem and suffer from less internalized homophobia. The study also found that gay teens trying to have opposite sex relationships were not positively benefited by the process. The teen years are bad enough without the burden some of us suffered and/or continue to suffer being in the closet and feeling isolated and unable to be truly open and intimate with anyone. And struggling to pull off a relationship with someone of the opposite gender, at least for me, intensified the feelings of being a freak and increased the self-loathing inculcated into me by the Catholic Church growing up. The message of the study is that schools and society need to be more accepting of gay teen relationships. Here are highlights on the study from Health Canal:
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ANN ARBOR, Mich.—Involvement in a same-sex relationship boosted self-esteem in teen males and lowered internalized homophobia in teen females who identified as gay, lesbian or bisexual, a new University of Michigan study shows. Surprisingly for the same teens, having an opposite-sex relationship had no affect on self-esteem, depression or anxiety.
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Dating in adolescence is critical to developing sexual and social identities, says Jose Bauermeister, assistant professor at the University of Michigan School of Public Health. It's even more salient for gay, lesbian and bisexual youth because there is such a stigma attached to their sexual orientation.
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Studies have shown that these teens may suffer more psychological distress, victimization, physical threats and violence than heterosexual youth. Gay, lesbian and bisexual teens who conceal their sexuality, often have a lower self-image or internalized sense of homophobia—which can lead to depression and anxiety.
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The protective effects of same-sex relationships are different for young men and women, says Bauermeister, who oversees the SPH Sexuality and Health Lab. A same-sex relationship is protective in that it reduces internalized homophobia for girls even after only one relationship. For men, a same-sex relationship is protective in that it raises self-esteem, but the relationship must be prolonged. . . . Opposite-sex relationships did increase internalized homophobia in boys
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"Providers and caregivers of (gay, lesbian and bisexual) youth need to create supportive environments where kids can talk about and support their sexual identity, which may include their dating experiences with same-sex and opposite-sex partners," Bauermeister said. The paper, "Relationship trajectories and psychological well-being among sexual minority youth," will appear in the journal Youth and Adolescence in August.

Once a Leader, U.S. Lags in College Degrees

In perhaps yet another sign that the USA is in decline other than perhaps militarily, the New York Times reports that growing gap between the rate at which college degrees are being completed in the United States compared to other countries threatens to undermine American economic competitiveness. I suspect the Bible thumpers and far right demagogues secretly welcome this trend inasmuch as it requires an ignorant populace to further religious fundamentalism and to provide a fertile atmosphere for loonies like Sarah Palin and other darlings of the GOP base. Sadly, far too few people seem to care. The USA is squandering billions and billions of dollars in Iraq and Afghanistan even as the nation's infrastructure crumbles, millions of citizens go without preventive medical care and college becomes less affordable for more and more students. Yet the self-anointed super patriots continue to delude themselves in believing that the USA is better than every other nation. I'm sorry, but something is seriously f*cked up with this picture. Here are highlights from this disturbing story:
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The United States used to lead the world in the number of 25- to 34-year-olds with college degrees. Now it ranks 12th among 36 developed nations.
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“The growing education deficit is no less a threat to our nation’s long-term well-being than the current fiscal crisis,” Gaston Caperton, the president of the College Board, warned at a meeting on Capitol Hill of education leaders and policy makers, where he released a report detailing the problem and recommending how to fix it. “To improve our college completion rates, we must think ‘P-16’ and improve education from preschool through higher education.” While access to college has been the major concern in recent decades, over the last year, college completion, too, has become a leading item on the national agenda.
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Canada now leads the world in educational attainment, with about 56 percent of its young adults having earned at least associate’s degrees in 2007, compared with only 40 percent of those in the United States. (The United States’ rate has since risen slightly.)
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While almost 70 percent of high school graduates in the United States enroll in college within two years of graduating, only about 57 percent of students who enroll in a bachelor’s degree program graduate within six years, and fewer than 25 percent of students who begin at a community college graduate with an associate’s degree within three years.
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The problem is even worse for low-income students and minorities: only 30 percent of African-Americans ages 25-34, and less than 20 percent of Latinos in that age group, have an associate’s degree or higher.
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The group’s first five recommendations all concern K-12 education, calling for more state-financed preschool programs, better high school and middle school college counseling, dropout prevention programs, an alignment with international curricular standards and improved teacher quality. College costs were also implicated, with recommendations for more need-based financial aid, and further efforts to keep college affordable.
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I suspect teaching creationism as science is not something found in international curricular standards. More and more, the rest of the world must be laughing at the USA. What's ironic is that the Christianists whine about too much emphasis on self-esteem in our schools, and yet the nation suffers from that same problem: too much self-esteem with no basis to support it.

Finding Self-Acceptance - Further Thoughts

"Listen to and accept the positive assessments of those people who you love and trust...."

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That is what Justin, a blogger friend, told me is something that I - and I suspect others seeking to find self-acceptance as well - need to do, whether they are transitioning from being in the closet for many years like I was or trying to find self-acceptance in general. Actually, I think I have done that more than may seem apparent at times, although at other times, I am probably harsher in judging myself than anyone else.

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How have I accepted such positive assessments? I think in a number of ways, some of which were perhaps not obvious in my last post on this topic. My therapist, my pastors, and the many friends I have made in my activism activities have given me much affirmation and numerous positive assessments. Even if not always consciously, I think those messages have come through to me and made a huge difference - as has the positive support/energy I receive from other bloggers and so many of my readers. The same holds true for the friendships I have forged since coming out with my friends Martin and Christopher holding a special place of honor in my heart (as do you, Justin).

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I'm still a work in progress, but I am much happier as I am now in terms of self-acceptance than ever before - even if I think too much like a lawyer according to some. :)

Surrounded by People But NOT Alone

Today was a long day - a meeting with clients and would be investors for what could be come a major transaction/project. Today's presentation seems to have gone well and more follow up will take place tomorrow. After that, it will be a matter of waiting to hear back from accountants and legal counsel for the other parties. The meeting was followed by dinner at a upscale local restaurant called The Painted Lady. All in all it was a very positive day, but exhausting mentally.

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Since I will be stuck at the office much of tomorrow, I plan on meeting a friend from the Second Satrurday Salon and dancing at The Wave later tonight. I tease her that she's my "fag hag." She's a live wire and likes the accepting atmosphere of the club where there is always an assorted cross section of people, although the crowd is predominately gay. I always find dancing to be a good outlet for stress and a great energy release.

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I again want to thank all of you who have sent me messages of support including Vanyel, Lyndon, and MJS - who cares so deeply about me and points out that I should and take on a more positive approach. That it is very important to try and believe 'what I send out into this world, is what will come back to me.