A "White Marriage" - A Perfect Model for "Ex-gays"

I will concede that I missed the first episode of GCB - Good Christian Belles. But from the media coverage it seems that the first episode showcased a perfect model for marriage between "ex-gays" and "ex-gays" and their camouflage providing straight spouses. What's a "white Marriage"? The Free Dictionary defines it as a "marriage without sexual relations." That model obviously works for "celibate ex-gays." But what about those who have found that "change doesn't really occur despite what the Bible beaters say? For them, a perhaps more realistic "white marriage" is where the couple grits their teeth, have relations, produce a couple of children and thereafter go their own sexual ways in pursuit of the same sex relationships that they truly seek. Even though the marriage is a fraud, the ex-gays can parade their spouses and children about as proof that they are "ex-gay." Community Voices looks at the plot behind the first GCB episode. Here are some highlights:

On his new show, ABC's "GCB" (10 p.m. Sunday, WTAE), the actor [Mark Deklin] gets to smile. A lot.

In last night's episode Deklin's Blake even managed to smile through some personal sadness as the show's writers revelaed the extent of his wife's knowledge about his sexual orientation. The premiere episode of "GCB" clued viewers in that Blake is gay and last night's episode revealed Blake's wife, Cricket (Miriam Shor), signed on to the marriage with the understanding that he'd be having sex with men on the side. The couple even share opposite sides of an extra-wide bed.

Deklin said when he signed on to appear in "GCB" he wasn't sure how to approach Blake and his relationship with Cricket.

"I have 100 or so gay friends and they're all out. I don't know anyone in the closet," he said. So he consulted executive producer Robert Harling. "Bobby said there's this peculiar thing in the South called a 'white marriage,' it's an open secret, almost like the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell. Husbands and wives who grew up together and are from dynastic, wealthy families, and they decide to get married and have 'our little secret' and they won't talk about it. Bobby said he was always fascinated by that dynamic. I was very naive. I thought it was something nobody did anymore and I've since learned it's more common than we think."

Yes, it involves living a lie, but as this blog has noted many, many times, no one lies more often and with more duplicity than "godly Christians" who pat themselves on their backs for their own piety.

The Tortured and Dysfunctional Lives of Professional "Ex-Gays"

Have you ever noticed that virtually all of the prominent "ex-gays for pay" have a common theme in their pasts? It seems that nearly every one, whether male of female, has a history that includes alcoholism, drug use, prostitution, molestation, screwed up family backgrounds, or all of the foregoing. And rather than take real responsibility for the bad life choices they made, they without exception want to blame their tortured pasts on being gay. In fact, in my view, the biggest problem driving all of the poor choice behavior these "ex-gays" exhibit is the psychological damage they experienced from their religious upbringings. I've often maintained that raising and LGBT child in a far right religious household is a form of child abuse and most "ex-gays" - many of whom have no careers except playing ex-gay for pay - seem to be very damaged individuals as a result of their religious inner self-hate and self-loathing. To listen to these "ex-gays," no one who is LGBT can lead a normal productive life like everyone else in society. Truth be told, most of us do and given their train wreck like past lives, "ex-gays" would seem to be the last people to advise others on any issue. Jeremy Hooper looks at the bizarre lives of the "ex-gays for pay" in a post at Good As You:

n a recent interview with Christian radio host Janet Parshall, professional "ex-gay" Stephen Bennett did that thing the professional "former homosexuals" always do: He linked a whole host of horrible life experiences and choices to his sexuality, as if unrelated feathers are undetachable parts of the gay bird . . .

It's so telling. Virtually to a person, these career "ex-gays" have backgrounds (or supposed backgrounds) of prolonged drug abuse, alcoholism, family strife, molestation, vicious shunning, obsessions with club life, bulimia, and any number of things with which most people truly would need to deal, if they wanted to advance. These "former gays" then link those other elements directly to their sexual orientations, as if it's all in the same bucket. Alan Chambers does it. Charlene Cothran did it. Melissa Fryrear does it. Janet Boynes does it. We never see an "ex-gay" paycheck-earner who just happened to be LGBT with the everyday, up and down life experiences that are most common among the LGBT population. They are always presented as having been addicted, abused, trapped, entrenched, damaged, broken, stuck in horrible relationships, sex-crazed, lacking ambition, immoral (or at best amoral), and generally hurting -- part of a "lifestyle" rather than a life.

I actually think it does more damage to their cause than they realize. Most modern Americans now know an LGBT person or two. Many more see LGBT people in pop culture. A growing number even realize that the negative cultural elements that do greet some LGBT people are largely the byproducts of decades of forced differentiation and stigma, not innate "brokenness."

More and more people know that Stephen Bennett, despite his pretense of firsthand insight, doesn't speak for the LGBT experience, writ large: He speaks for Stephen Bennett, or at least the professionally-crafted version thereof. Oh, and of course he speaks against the entire field of credible science. So there's that, too.

Dobson Continues to Disingenuously Market the "Change Myth"

For someone who is having hissy fits over being rightfully castigated by Barack Obama as trying to force his sick version of Christianity on all Americans, James Dobson continues to demonstrate that he has little regard for truth and veracity. A case in point is Focus on the Family's dishonest presentation on its website about the ability of gays to "change." Were it not for the fact that far too many vulnerable and uninformed parents of gays and gays themselves fall for the bull shit peddled by Dobson (and fork over lots of money in the process), some of the information would be almost laughable. In many ways, FoF continues to act as if one's sexual orientation is akin to being an alcoholic or something similar to it. In addition, all regard for the opinions of legitimate medical and mental health proferssionals is utterly lacking form FoF's information. Some of this crap is so dishonest - e.g., that same sex attraction is an acquired habit - that one has to wonder how/why people accept any of it other than the fact that they have apparently been so brainwashed and inflicted with guilt. Here's a sampling of the bull shit offered up by FOF:

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Male homosexuality is like any other sexual sin or temptation that a person may struggle with. Given that God works with us as individuals, there is no "formula" for the change process, nor is there typically instant freedom. Not surprisingly, each person’s path to liberty will be different. . . . The good news is that homosexual attractions and temptations do change, dissipate and even disappear for many men – as they cooperate with God in the process of becoming more like Jesus.

*

Change in behavior. For many men, this is of paramount concern. Some homosexual strugglers have struggled with fantasy, looking at pornography, masturbation and/or sexual activity with people of the same sex for years. Each time a person behaves in these ways, thoughts, feelings and actions are rehearsed in the body and in the brain. And these thoughts, feelings, and actions become more ingrained, more habitual.

*

Thus informed by Scripture, the man who wants to change will start thinking about himself differently – as part of fallen humanity, as a sinner in need of a Savior, as a redeemed child of God, as a man. He will ask God to change his self-image, from the world’s view to a biblical view. He must embrace healthy, God-given and God-ordained sexual identity and masculinity.

*
Change in relationships with men and women. Anyone who struggles with same-sex attractions will have to examine his relationships. This kind of thoughtful moral inventory will often involve confession and the willingness to grow, mature and cultivate new actions. Here are a few of the relational sins – often connected with the homosexual struggle – where God will empower change:

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***Lust – desiring to use another man for one’s own pleasure and fulfillment;
***Envy – wanting to own another’s masculinity, wanting to possess another person’s attributes;
***Contempt – looking down on "straight" men or women, despising men who are unattractive, old, or effeminate, or fearing and hating women;
***Control – wanting to control another’s behavior, affections, time, or thoughts; and,
***Lying – not telling the truth about what one thinks or feels in order to maintain a relationship, not being honest about thoughts, feelings, behaviors or attitudes.

*
A man wrestling with homosexuality must also begin to develop healthy, non-sexual relationships with other men in the Body of Christ – learning to be a man amongst men.

*

Funny how I have never felt the envy, control, contempt, etc., feels outlined. It is also noteworthy that nowhere does the LOVE of same-sex partners ever get mentioned. It's all about lust, etc., and shows how utterly clueless this nutcase is about the true emotional aspects of being gay. Truth be told, it's Dobson and FOF that are the liars, seeking control and holding contempt for others, not gays and their supporters. In my opinion, Dobson is a dishonest charlatan and it is very sad that outfits like FOF - who typically use non-credentialed "ex-gays for pay" for their staffs - are not regulated by mental health licensing agencies. How many lives has this cruel and dishonest man ruined?

More Lies from Concerned Bitches for America

Never allowing the truth to get in the way of their agenda of working to reduce gays to quasi-criminal status and inflict their version of theocracy on the nation, the bitches (who are actually mostly men it seems) at Concerned Women for America have come up with a new round of fiction under their "Legal Studies" page that looks at the issue of gay marriage. Putting aside the fact that most of their attorneys went to non-ABA accredited religious affiliated "law schools" - which means that in most states they could not even be admitted to the bar - the facts are simply wrong or unsupported by any credible evidence. Naturally, most of the lies spewing forth use the old "choice myth" as the underlying linch pin. Here are some highlights from CWA's blather with my remarks following in italics:

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One of the key figures of the 20th Century's civil rights battles passed away. Mildred Loving, whose marriage to her husband, Richard, was a violation of Virginia's laws prohibiting interracial marriage died May 2nd. Mildred was black, Richard white. Their marriage led to the famous legal case Loving v. Virginia which found laws against interracial marriage unconstitutional. The case was decided on June 12, 1967. Modern battles over marriage have moved well beyond unchangeable characteristics like race. Now those battles focus on the choices in sexual relationships which people make. The homosexual activist movement would like Americans to believe that homosexuality is an unchangeable characteristic just like race. They are abusing the memory of people like Mildred Loving who has said that she never wanted to be a hero, she just wanted to get married but was not allowed to do so because she was born black. Radical homosexual activists want you to believe that they, too, are "born that way." The reality is otherwise.

*

The first inconvenient truth omitted by the bitches at CWA is that Mildred Loving supported gay marriage rights. As did Coretta Scott King, by the way. But then again, other than Don Wildmon's American Family Association and Focus on the Family, CWA is generally one of the most dishonest and untruthful of the "Christian" family vales organizations.

*

Tragically, the homosexual activists reject this reality. They insist against all the evidence that homosexuals are "born that way." And, they think nothing of discriminating against people who disagree. For example, recently Concerned Women for America (CWA) has been defending a modern hero of civil rights, Crystal Dixon. Dixon was fired from her job simply because she pointed out the reality that sexual choices are not civil rights.

*

Actually, Crystal Dixon was offered a transfer to a different position where she would not be charged with enforcing the University's non-discrimination policy which includes sexual orientation, but she chose to be a martyr. But then, CWA never cares for the truth. Just disseminating untruths to further its Christianist agenda.

*

Dixon noted, "As a black woman who happens to be an alumnus of the University of Toledo's Graduate School, an employee and business owner, I take great umbrage at the notion that those choosing the homosexual lifestyle are 'civil rights victims.' Here's why. I cannot wake up tomorrow and not be a black woman. I am genetically and biologically a black woman and very pleased to be so as my Creator intended. Daily, thousands of homosexuals make a life decision to leave the gay lifestyle evidenced by the growing population of PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex Gays) and Exodus International just to name a few."

*

This claim of "thousands" or more typically "hundreds of thousands" has NO, NADA, ZERO documentation to back it up. In fact, these groups do NOT maintain data - probably because it would prove that their progams do not work. Instead, one sees the same old tired "ex-gays for pay" making the same untrue statements. Or at least until they "fall of the wagon" and revert back to their true sexual orientation. Think John Paulk, Michael Johnston, and a host of others who have proven to be frauds. When Robert Spitzer did a study in 2003 that has been repeatedly misquoted by Christianist organizations, he admited that he had "great difficulty" finding people who claimed to have changed their orientation from gay to straight. After searching for nearly a year and a half, Spitzer could only find 274 possibilities. Of those, half had been referred by Exodus and NARTH. Even then, That 86% of the men and 63% of the female subjects emerged from therapy still having feelings of attraction to persons of the same-sex. CWA is well aware of these inconvenient trutys, yet never lets this reality get in the way of pushing the "choice myth."

*

Here, then, is the difference between the marriage battles now and those of 40 years ago. Then, marriage was fought over unchangeable, immutable characteristics - race. Today, marriage is fought over freely-made sexual choices like homosexuality and polygamy. Clearly, marriage among people of different ethnic backgrounds is a reasonable and moral decision. Marriage among people of the same sex is to abolish the meaning and purpose of marriage altogether. As we approach the anniversary of the Loving decision, it is good to remember the key to the case: race is unchangeable and immutable. Homosexuality is something that can change - and freedom is found from this sin as from all others in Jesus Christ.

*

How do you know when a CWA spokesman is lying? When their lips are moving. Their goal is to mislead the ignorant and unwary and those who do not know correct/true history. I remain dumbfounded who those who profess to be Christians can knowingly lie with no remorse whatsoever.

Homophobia Impacts Not Just Gay Lives

Coincidentally to my recent posts about married gays coming out of the closet after many years, MSNBC has a lengthy story (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23168113/) written by a straight spouse that looks at what forcing gays into the closet and marriage does to the straight spouse – perhaps the main victim of the “ex-gay” nonsense intentionally foisted on the public by Christian Right organizations and numerous churches even though they know damn well that legitimate research confirms that the “cure” programs do not actually work. Rather, their sole goal is making money and more importantly positioning themselves to claim gays are gay by choice and, therefore, in need of no legal protections or rights either in the church or under civil law. That these organizations and churches will use such deliberate, disingenuous lies to harm both gays and their straight spouses proves to me that THEY, not the gays are the ones who are morally bankrupt and the sinful ones. They truly do not care who gets harmed if it furthers their agenda and Pharisee like self-righteousness. I would also add that, as noted in the article, this area is living proof there are many married gays in the military - if you doubt it check the local gay chat rooms - who probably did not know what else to do but marry. Here are some story highlights:

That evening, after we'd watched our three children play on the lawn of our home in the Washington, D.C., suburbs, he curled into a fetal position on a porch chair and admitted more than I ever wanted to know: He had been having anonymous sex with men.

was 30 years old when this happened, and Chris and I had been married for 11 years. We looked like the perfect family in our Christmas card portrait. Both of us grew up in the small-town South, and Chris was in the military. Yet I finally understood that our entire married life, except for our children, whom we both loved completely, was built on a falsehood. At that moment, I felt as if I were standing alone in the world, stripped of all dignity, with a big sign on me that read idiot.

The movie "Brokeback Mountain" turned a spotlight on gay men who lead double lives, having sex with other men while they are married to women. But that film only scratched the surface of their wives' miserable experience. When I saw the movie, I started to cry as I watched Ennis, the young cowboy played by Heath Ledger, wed his sweetheart even though he'd been involved with another man. I wanted to scream: "It is such a lie! Don't do it!" My mind flashed back to my own wedding day, when I was the virgin bride standing before family, friends and a minister. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

This kind of union happens more often than people may think; research done by University of Chicago sociologist Edward Laumann, Ph.D., estimated that between 1.5 million and 2.9 million American women who have ever been married had a husband who had had sex with another man. That means there are a large number of women who have no idea what their husband does in secret.

I was also pleased that we had a similar religious upbringing. I grew up going to a Methodist church, and I've always had a strong Christian faith. Chris's father was a Southern Baptist minister who preached fire and brimstone, and Chris was taught that being gay was the ultimate sin — an absolute sentence to hell.

You might wonder why Chris couldn't accept his homosexuality, but the sin factor was ingrained in him at an early age. Being gay would not only endanger his job and family life, it could also cost him his relationship with his parents, his church and God. Chris feared that coming out would invalidate him as a human being — and might even send him to hell.

The only thing that saved my sanity was the Straight Spouse Network, an international support group founded by another woman who'd been married to a gay man. During my first SSN meeting, I sat in the corner and cried the entire time. At least I knew I wasn't alone. I soon learned that straight spouses typically blame themselves for not being sexy enough to keep their husband from straying. As bad as it is when another woman manages to steal your husband, at least you believe you can compete. When your husband wants another man, it denies your entire being. I also learned that a surprising number of gays in the military are married because marriage is such a useful front. You can't be gay in the military, and if you're married, then of course you're not gay. I see now that many gay spouses genuinely believe they are doing the right thing by getting married, because they are lying to themselves more than anyone.

I have marched for gay rights and spoken about my experience to groups of gay fathers, because I believe it was intolerance and the fear of homosexuality that put me and my family through complete hell — and I hope none of that was in vain. Everyone has a fundamental right to be who he is, and I pray that Americans as a whole can become more accepting of homosexuals. Perhaps then, gay people won't feel the need to pretend they're straight and get married as a way to "prove" it to everyone else.

Ex-Gay Quacks Struggle to Counter Crackdowns on Their Fraudulent Programs

I posted yesterday concerning the new video series by Truth Wins Out that focus on the fraudulent ex-gay ministries that prey on gays and their families for ulterior political purposes and profit. Unfortunately, these “ministries” and those who promote them will not be closed down easily. For example, Warren Throckmorton, a professor at ultra-conservative Grove City College and others have formed the American Association of Christian Counselors (“AACC”) to (1) lend the appearance of legitimacy to their ex-gay “cure” programs and (2) resist efforts by legitimate mental health related associations to ban ex-gay reparative therapy programs.

One example of what Throckmorton – with whom I have had numerous e-mail debates for a number of years and who, in my opinion, is a religious fanatic – seeks to thwart is the Ethics Committee of the American Counseling Association’s (“ACA”) issuance of an opinion which directly questioned the ethical conduct of referring clients to therapists who work with their counselees to live according to a Christian view of sexuality. More specifically, the opinion designated a gay affirmative approach as the only correct ethical stance. What really got Throckmorton’s panties in a knot is this finding by the ACA Ethics Committee:

Conversion therapy as a practice is a religious, not psychologically-based, practice. The premise of the treatment is to change a client's sexual orientation. The treatment may include techniques based in Christian faith-based methods such as the use of "testimonials, mentoring, prayer, Bible readings, and Christian weekend workshops."

The American Psychological Association is considering taking a similar stand as that taken by the ACA. Obviously, this would drive Throckmorton, et al, out of a very lucrative business. Perhaps equally importantly, it would make it much more difficult for the Christianists to continue to claim that sexual orientation is a matter of choice which can be changed. Never mind that the ACA finding hits upon the true nature of these alleged cure programs. Christianists never let the truth get in the way of their true agenda.

As a result, Throckmorton is looking for current ACA members or credentialed and licensed mental health professionals to join him as he submits his formal letter of complaint (http://www.aacc.net/email/media/ACA_complaint.pdf) to the ACA. Worse yet, Throckmorton’s group is working with the Alliance Defense Fund and Liberty Counsel, both extreme fundamentalist Christian legal organizations, to threaten and intimidate the ACA into backing down. Of course the irony is that in a June 2003 APA Journal article authored by Throckmorton it was conceded that a review of the various studies on ex-gay conversion programs failed to show proof that any of them actually worked.

As Wayne Besen has noted, “predictably, the signers of the letter are disingenuously claiming religious discrimination. They don't seem to realize that their professional rejection stems from the objective reasoning that their theories are illegitimate garbage.”

Canadian Ex-gay Therapist Convicted on Sexual Assault

Anyone who has read this blog for a while knows that I am very much against reparative therapy and the bogus claims that gays can “change” their sexual orientation. Having tried myself for 37 years, I know the claims are utter bull shit. If I had my way, all of these quack programs would be shut down. Thus, except for what happened to the victim, I find it hilarious that a minister and former Christian college instructor has been found guilty of sexually assaulting a young man who sought counseling after he feared he was homosexual. It seems that the therapist wasn’t all too cured himself. My friend Wayne Besen, author of Anything But Straight, Unmasking the Scandals and Lies Behind the Ex-gay Myth (http://www.anythingbutstraight.com/index.html) should love this story! Here are some highlights from last Thursday's Winnipeg Sun (http://www.winnipegsun.com/News/Winnipeg/2008/02/14/pf-4847839.html):

Crown attorney Dale Schille said the evidence against Lewis was “overwhelming” and he never denied the allegations in a statement to police. In earlier testimony, the alleged victim, now 29, told court he started meeting Lewis for counseling sessions in early 2000 after his parents caught him viewing gay pornography on the family computer. Lewis — a family friend and minister — confided he had his own sexual identity issues and the two embarked on weekly counseling sessions designed to “assist me to be straight and to live a straight life,” the man said.

The man said Lewis started a program of “touch therapy,” which included the two kissing and fondling each other and engaging in sexual role playing. “He said I was to tell no one about it because no one would understand,” the man testified. During “touch therapy” sessions in Lewis’ car, Lewis asked him to masturbate, the man said. Lewis also admitted to fantasizing about him, the man said.

A jury returned with the guilty verdict early last night after only a few hours of deliberations. Terrance Lewis, 60, will be sentenced at a later date.

God, Gays and the Church

Unfortunately, it appears that U.S. based anti-gay Christianists are now in league with some of their bigoted brethren in the Church of England based on the new book being released through Anglican Mainstream (http://www.anglican-mainstream.net/index.php/2008/02/11/god-gays-and-the-church/), which describes itself as a “community within the Anglican Communion committed to promote, teach and maintain the Scriptural truths on which the Anglican Church was founded and which guarantee its catholicity.” Not surprisingly, one of the contributing authors is Joseph Nicolosi, former President of the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality (“NARTH”) who has literally made a career out of peddling the anti-gay “cure” myth to the unwary and gullible and who likewise is often used as a supposed “expert” by anti-gay Christianist organizations. Faced with the possibility that the APA may ban the use of reparative therapy in the USA, it appears Nicolosi and similar (in my opinion) quackes are seeking new markets for their snake oil. I hope that those in the UK and elsewhere do not fall for this garbage.

Anglican Mainstream has the following to say about the new book – which ironically will be launched at a fringe meeting:

The book, God, Gays and the Church: Human Sexuality and Experience in Christian Thinking, published by the Latimer Trust, will be launched at a special fringe meeting at the General Synod of the Church of England on Wednesday 13 February . . . The editors seek to put into the public domain not only the views of Christians who first thought themselves homosexual, and then chose to follow Biblical teaching, but also the expert evidence and research of psychologists, counsellors and theologians in the field. Further sections analyse the impact of the gay agenda on our culture.

In his Foreword to the book, the Bishop of Winchester, the Rt Revd Michael Scott-Joynt, writes: . . . Our integrity, as a Church that is properly serious about doctrine and discipline, was gravely undermined. … every Christian is called to have her or his ‘experience’ conformed to the teachings of Scripture, and then to those of the ‘great tradition’ of the Church down the centuries …”

I wonder whether the cited “great traditions” of the Church include heresy trials, the stoning of adulterers and other “Christian” conduct. Wouldn't feeding the hungry, caring for the poor, and treating other with love and respect be a more worthwhile use of time and energy?

'Ex-Gays' launch effort to recruit 10,000 churches

Exodus International wants to recruit 10,000 churches to participate in ex-gay "cure" programs. Just what the USA does not need (nor countries like the UK, Canada, Australia and other countries where the US Christianists are working to establish footholds) is more bogus "ex-gay" programs. I truly hope the APA votes to ban reparative therapy so that semi-quack psychologists who are shaking down the ignorant and unwary for lots of money will risk losing their licenses if they participate in these dangerous programs. My dream case is still where someone who has been harmed by one of these outfits brings a law suit so that it can be documented in court that the programs do not work and open other ex-gay programs to liability as well. Should that happen, God forbid, Randy Thomas would have to get a real job rather than play ex-gay for pay. Meanwhile he is working to assure himself job security. Here are highlights from PageOneQ's coverage (http://pageoneq.com/news/2008/ExGays_launch_effort_to_recruit_100_0109.html):

Prominent 'Ex-Gay' organization Exodus International has set up an outreach network for people "struggling with same-sex attractions," Family News in Focus reports. Exodus' Randy Thomas seeks to reach those from religious backgrounds who fear opening up to the church or their families about their "unwanted feelings for someone of the same sex." The plan includes a liaison in each participating branch."

The vision," says Thomas, "is that there would be churches that people struggling with same-sex attraction could go to where they could learn how to be Disciples of Christ.” "A lot of times pastors aren't equipped in seminary to help people that are struggling," says Jeff Johnson of Focus on the Family's Love Won Out ministry, "and help them bring change into their lives."

Psychiatrists Warn Church of England to Reject Reparative Therapy

Ex-Gay Watch is reporting (http://www.exgaywatch.com/wp/2007/11/psychiatrists-warn-church-of-england-to-reject-reparative-therapy/) that the Royal College of Psychiatrists has warned Anglicans in the United Kingdom that therapy to change sexual orientation is based on unproven methods and can cause severe damage. Having spent a great deal of time studying the so-called "cure" programs and reports on their effectiveness (or more precisely, the lack of any such effectiveness), one would think that this would be a no-brainer. Sadly, Christianists never care about what is medically true. It's all about pushing their agenda to force everyone to live by their religious views. Here are highlights from Ex-Gay Watch:

The report, which also addresses the nature of gay and lesbian relationships, the origins of homosexuality, and the mental health of gay men and women, concludes by urging Anglicans to accept gays and lesbians fully into the life of the Church:

[There] is no scientific or rational reason for treating LGB people any differently to their heterosexual counterparts. People are happiest and are likely to reach their potential when they are able to integrate the various aspects of the self as fully as possible. Socially inclusive, nonjudgemental attitudes to LGB people who attend places of worship or who are religious leaders themselves will have positive consequences for LGB people as well as for the wider society in which they live.

The full report to the Church of England can be viewed here: http://www.churchtimes.co.uk/temp/CoEsplisteningspexercisespSIGspsubmissionsp311007.pdf

A Critique of Jones and Yarhouse's "Ex-gay" Study

Having studied the "ex-gay" programs in dept in the past, I have previously posted about the new Stanton L. Jones and Mark A. Yarhouse book, Ex-gays?: A Longitudinal Study of Religiously Mediated Change in Sexual Orientation, which is based on a study of participants in the Exodus International ex-gay ministries, in which the authors intended to answer two questions: 1) can a homosexual orientation be “healed,” specifically can a person change their orientation using religious-based therapy, and 2) are attempts at change harmful. To be candid, from their past work and their - in my view religiously biased desire to find "change" possible - I was always sceptical of any pro-change conclusions they might claim.

Now, Ex-gay Watch has a critique of their supposed study by Patrick M. Chapman, PhD, an academic with a PhD in biological anthropology, and someone who tried for over a decade to change his own sexual orientation. His conclusions are found here (http://www.exgaywatch.com/wp/2007/11/a-critique-of-jones-and-yarhouses-ex-gays-part-2/#more-2721) and confirm all my doubts as to this study being anything more than yet another attempt to give Exodus and other ex-gay programs undeserved legitimacy. No doubt the book will sell well with the Christianists - and make money for its authors - and be improperly cited for supporting "cure" programs that are little better than having treatment from a witch doctor. Here are highlights of the critique:

In the opening chapter Jones and Yarhouse honestly and correctly state this study cannot establish if long-term, permanent and enduring change occurs because that would require a long-term study (p. 17). Contrarily, they later suggest the results demonstrate sexual orientation is changeable (pp. 42, 325), evidenced by 11 “Success: Conversion” cases out of the original 98. The conclusion is unwarranted because: 1) they acknowledge multiple anecdotal cases from previous “ex-gay” success stories who later recanted their “conversion” to heterosexuality (pp. 63-64, 72); 2) they freely acknowledge that people in ex-gay programs declare they are heterosexual even if they experience exclusive and powerful homosexual attractions (p. 220); 3) they admit that one of their 11 “Success: Conversion” cases recanted his claim of change, confessing his homosexual attraction was unchanged after the book manuscript neared completion (p. 285; Jones and Yarhouse did not remove his “success” from their data); and 4) the only way to determine if change actually occurred is through a long-term study, which this is not.

This study is littered with biased and sloppy scholarship. The authors suggest the results presented in Tables 7.4 through 7.6 (pp. 239-240) present a “modest portrait of positive progress” in the change process (p. 246). Yet, there is no change based on the data presented in Table 7.4: at both the start and end of the study nine participants declare themselves heterosexual while 51 declare themselves homosexual. Jones and Yarhouse state there is “no indication of significant change” based on the data presented in Table 7.5 (p. 248) and no statistically significant change in Table 7.6 (p. 249). Nonetheless Jones and Yarhouse declare the results represented in these three tables to be “positive progress.” Simply put, their conclusion is not based on the evidence: progress requires positive change.

Meanwhile, the authors report 23 percent of the participants achieved success in changing their sexual orientation by embracing chastity. However, once again the actual desires and longings of the individuals remain homosexual. One “Success: Chastity” female relinquished her goal of getting rid of homosexual feelings and longings (p. 302), a “Success: Chastity” male admits to continued same-sex attractions (p. 303), while another male still fantasizes to the point of orgasm about being with a man and admits continued homosexual feelings and longings (p. 304). While Jones and Yarhouse acknowledge these individuals did not experience a “strong movement toward heterosexual attraction” (p. 291), they nonetheless consider them “successes.”

Despite explicitly stating that this study cannot demonstrate whether long-lasting change is possible, despite admitting that individuals in ex-gay ministries misreport their condition, despite knowing that previous testimonies of change were untrue, despite knowing that one of their own “Success: Conversion” participants later recanted his proclaimed “conversion” to heterosexuality, and despite the fact that “Success: Conversion” and “Success: Chastity” participants retain a homosexual orientation (using Jones and Yarhouse’s own definition), the authors claim that homosexual orientation is changeable! Clearly their conclusion is not consistent with the evidence: a continued homosexual orientation is not evidence of “healing” from homosexuality.

TRUTH WINS OUT RELEASES 'EX-GAY = EX-WIFE' VIDEO THAT DETAILS HOW EX-GAY MARRIAGES LEAD TO HEARTBREAK AND DIVORCE

My friend Wayne Besen at Truth Wins Out is releasing a new video to combat the false message put out by the Christianist funded "ex-gay" programs. I am setting out Wayne's press release in full because it not only addresses the failed marriages of ex-gays, but also the failed marriages of other LGBT individuals who try to conform to societal and religious dictates only to meet with ultimate failure. I know of what I speak - I am one of them and my children are collateral damage.

Groups That Encourage Marriage As A Cure For Homosexuality Destroy Families And Treat Spouses and Children As Collateral Damage

NEW YORK - Truth Wins Out released an exclusive National Coming Out Day video today, "Ex-Gay = Ex-Wife," that features the stories of four courageous women whose families fell apart after their closeted husbands came out. This video is the latest in TWO's "Talking Truth" campaign and highlights the harm of ex-gay programs from a unique perspective - that of the spouse who gets left behind when the promised "cure" does not endure.

"Ex-gay programs love to show the wedding photos, but they never show you the divorce papers that result from such ill-conceived marriages," said Truth Wins Out's Executive Director, Wayne Besen. "These programs hold marriage up as the Holy Grail to heterosexuality, but the truth is, these marriages wholly fail, leaving shattered lives and broken families."

Bonnie Kaye, an author and director of the organization www.GayHusbands.com, has dedicated her life to counseling women after the demise of her own marriage. She blames anti-gay activists, such as Alan Chambers of Exodus International and James Dobson of Focus on the Family, for creating such miserable and doomed marriages.

"Alan Chambers and James Dobson are destroying the lives of families, not helping them...It's not a choice, people are who they are. Learn to love them and learn to embrace them and help them love themselves so they don't have to go and get married to be somebody they're not," said Kaye.

In the video, Nancy Davis shares how her former father-in law, a psychologist, recommended that his son meet a woman, get married and lead a straight life. "I feel like I was used, I was like an innocent lamb lead to slaughter," Davis said. The pain of such marriages can linger, long after the divorce is final. "Many of us are severely damaged...the spouses and children end up being the collateral damage," said Carol Silverman of the Straight Spouse Network, who was divorced after being married for nearly three decades.

Ignoring the failure and destruction all around them, ex-gay groups arrogantly and selfishly continue to use such families as pawns in their divisive culture war. "These organizations that try to convince people that they can be cured need to be stopped," asserted Tracy Rosenberg, who divorced her husband after almost 20 years.

"This video is a powerful reality check and a warning for those who would marry thinking that it will help them go from gay to straight," said Besen. "We are now looking to tell the stories of husbands whose marriages ended when their ex-gay wives came out as lesbians."

Arlington County Public Schools Update

Pam Spaulding posted my letter to the Arlington County School Board on both her blog (http://www.pamshouseblend.com/showDiary.do?diaryId=2562) and on AmericaBlog.com (http://www.americablog.com/2007/08/virginia-ex-gay-group-can-promote.html) in connection with the lawsuit settlement whereby PFOX will be allowed to distribute ex-gay conversion propaganda to middle school students. Both stories have a number of interesting and witty comments. One I liked is as follows:
Dear Mr. XXXXXXXX:

In accordance with the School Board Policy on Printed Materials (attached), the APA can submit materials for posting/distribution in the same manner as other non-profit organizations.

Sincerely yours,

MICHAEL KORFFJ. Michael Korff, Ph.D. Executive Staff Assistant to the Superintendent Arlington Public Schools 1426 N. Quincy Street Arlington, VA 22207
703.228.2497 JMKorff@Arlington.K12.VA.US
http://www.apsva.us/

While the post is no doubt a joke, I sincerely hope that other organizations such as Wayne Besen's Truth Wins Out (http://www.waynebesen.com/) will utilize the school board policy to disseminate truthful information to students. Again, I believe the school division has created a nightmare for itself.

Also, thanks to all who sent me kind messages concerning my letter either via my gmail account of via my offices contact page. So far, no death threats from fundies.