Rugby Star Gareth Thomas Comes Out

The media and our enemies like to depict gay males as effeminate and unmanly. Indeed, when I was on the Cathy Lewis show earlier this month, one caller said he did not want to be associated with the "gay community" but preferred to refer to himself as homosexual because of the negative stereotype often associated with gay men. The reality, of course, for those us us deeply involved in the LGBT community know that gay males come in all shapes and sizes as do lesbians many of whom do not remotely fit the "butch dyke" stereotype. Thus, I applaud when individuals like rugby star Gareth Thomas (pictured above) come out because they definitely shatter the would be stereotype. Here are some highlights on Thomas' coming out via Sky News:
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Rugby star Gareth Thomas has said he hopes coming out publicly will "send a positive message" to the sport.The 35-year-old wants young gay people, particularly those with aspirations in sport, to be reassured after he became the first high-profile player to announce he is gay.
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The former British and Irish Lions and Wales captain, a supporter of the children's charity NSPCC, said: "If it makes one young lad pick up the phone to ChildLine, then it will have been worth it." Thomas said he became aware of his sexual orientation at the age of 16 or 17 but could not accept it and feared it would affect his playing career. He told the Daily Mail he was "anxious about people's reactions" but "just couldn't ignore it any more".
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The rugby star, Wales's most-capped player, said he realised in summer 2006 that he could no longer live a lie. He told his wife, Jemma, that he was gay and admitted cheating on her with male partners. Thomas, who plays for Cardiff Blues, said he felt like his life was "falling apart" as his four-year marriage broke down.
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The star recounted to the paper how he cried in the changing rooms of Cardiff's Millennium Stadium, after representing Wales in November 2006. He later came out to coach Scott Johnson, who advised he speak to a few of his international colleagues for support. Thomas said: "He told two of my team-mates, Stephen Jones and Martyn Williams, and as I sat in the bar waiting for them, I was absolutely terrified, wondering what they were going to say. "But they came in, patted me on the back and said: 'We don't care. Why didn't you tell us before?'
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I can commiserate with Thomas' experience in coming out after being married to a woman. I suspect he married for the best of intentions and not just to hide who he was. The pressure to conform to societal and religious expectations can be so powerful. As more people come out, one can only hope that fewer people will feel the need to try to be what they are not.