Dark Clouds and Dark Thoughts - An Update

Last week I did a post called "Dark Clouds and Dark Thoughts" which has prompted a number of inquires as to how I am doing. Emotionally, it's a bit of a roller coaster - or perhaps more accurately like being in a boat floating through large ocean swell. Some days I am on the crest of the swell and others I am down in the trough struggling to make it to the next crest. My depressed thoughts are not from lack of activity - sine the 10th the boyfriend and I have been to seven networking/holiday events and I was at another by myself yesterday. I am frankly suffering from holiday overdose, yet we have three more events within the coming days.

*

Financially, the economy continues to be rough and news reports on the housing market give a false report since many of the "sales" are actually foreclosures. My loyal Hindu clients and LGBT estate planning clients have been the mainstay of keeping the firm afloat. Knowing that others are similarly struggling is not always a consolation at times. It is typically when a new financial setback/challenge presents itself that I drift towards a "final solution" mindset. On a scale of 1 to 10 - 1 being no suicidal thoughts and 10 being one is ready to act - I think I fluctuate between say a 3 and a 6 depending on the stress factors.

*

The bright spots continue to be the boyfriend who is utterly wonderful - he is taking me to Key West exactly a month from today - my youngest daughter who I see daily, and a number of outstanding friends. My loyal office manager/head paralegal is another blessing to me.

*

For Christmas we will be getting together with the boyfriend's parents Christmas Eve day and then going to a holiday dinner with some of his friends/clients in Williamsburg before attending the Christmas Eve service at St. John's Episcopal in Hampton (it will be too late to drive to First Lutheran in Norfolk). Christmas morning we will drive up to Charlottesville to visit my mother and siblings there.