The Incest and Polygamy Red Herrings

A number of comments - some of which I have not posted due to their abusive tone - have tried to use the argument that if gay marriage is OK, then why not allow incestuous and polygamous marriages too. Sadly, it's the typical Christianist method of trying to compare apples and oranges so to speak in order to shift their argument to an extreme topic and at the same time imply that gay relationships are no different than incest or polygamy. Such Christianist/Mormon arguments are likewise disingenuous because they seek to disguise the fact that their anti-gay hatred is part and parcel with their attempts to impose their religious beliefs on all. I have several reasons why I do not believe that there is any similarity between committed gay/lesbian relationships and the incest and polygamy ploys that our enemies seek to utilize.

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First, the California Supreme Court recognized what all the Christianists and Mormons refuse to recognize: SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS NOT a choice and it is NOT something that can be changed. It is who gays and lesbians are. Every legitimate medical and mental health associations supports this conclusion notwithstanding the bogus, whacked out "experts" Daddy Dobson and similar professional gay haters parade about. As I have maintained many times, the continuation of the "choice myth" is an utterly crucial lynch pin to the Christianist/Mormon anti-gay jihad. Once it is accepted that sexual orientation is not a choice but rather an inherent aspect of individuals - something which the California Supreme Court recognized - prohibitions against gay marriage crumble except for prohibitions based on religious based arguments. Gays and lesbians do not and cannot experience the completely fulfilling sexual attraction to members of the opposite sex that heterosexuals experience. It just doesn't happen - I tried for many years to make it work and it doesn't.

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Once the acknowledgment of the inherent nature of gays is accepted, then there should be no reason why a committed same sex couple planning on a life long relationship should be barred from having the same CIVIL legal rights as analogous heterosexual couples. Note, I am taking about COUPLES. Hence polygamy isn't even a legitimate topic of discussion when the debate is about committed couples. But assuming the disingenuous polygamy argument is addressed, then why not allow it? For a number of reasons: (1) it is often abusive to women and/or subjugates them as some recent news stories about the FLDS polygamous Mormon sect have demonstrated; (2) it increases potential jealousy and possessiveness with attendant family discord and disruption for children; (3) who decides about enlarging the group - the man only, which seems to be the typical case? (4) what happens if a wife wants to leave and the property is communally owned? Divorce laws and property laws do not contemplate such relationships or the division of property in such circumstances and in all likelihood, the woman seeking to leave is trapped.

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The attempt to mix the gay marriage argument with incestuous relationships is even more disingenuous and in part aimed at disparaging same sex couples. There are many reasons why incest is NOT something to be allowed or supported. First, there are the possible genetic reasons. Moreover, the most frequently reported type of incest is father-daughter incest and incest between adults and prepubescent or adolescent children is a form of child sexual abuse that has been shown to be one of the most extreme forms of childhood trauma. A trauma that often does serious and long-term psychological damage. The most-often reported form of incest is of this inherently abusive form involving father-daughter and stepfather-daughter incest. As noted here, adults who were incestuously victimized by adults in their childhood often suffer from low self-esteem, difficulties in interpersonal relationships, and sexual dysfunction, and are at an extremely high risk of many mental disorders, including depression, substance abuse and other lasting psychological problems. Gay marriage poses none of these problems.

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In short, when anyone who tries to raise the incest and polygamy red herrings in arguing against same sex marriage, they are being disingenuous and merely trying to confuse the issue and may likely be a Christianist/Mormon bigot who needs a intellectual smack down. P.S. BE SURE TO CLICK THE PHOTO ABOVE AND READ THE WARNING.