Maintaining a loving committed relationship takes effort. No matter how well you think you know someone and/or how well you think that you can read their thoughts and feelings, the reality is that no one can fully know another. As a result, if you presume to know their thoughts and motivations, you are placing your relationship in peril and may be risking losing that person that you claim to love beyond all others. I have seen this phenomenon both in my own past relationships and with friends. Never assume you fully know another's thoughts and feelings. We all come with our own unique experiences and baggage. What we may think is obvious may be totally wrong. Honest communication is needed and by communication I do not mean talking at someone until you have beaten them into submission. Sadly, not everyone approaches others this way.*
Why is this a problem? Because interpreting your lover/partner's thoughts and behavior through the prism of your own emotions and experiences can result in you reaching totally incorrect judgments. You cannot read someone else's mind. Jumping to conclusions and/or always assuming bad motivations on the part of your love/partner will only erode the trust and security of your relationship. The reality is that you want your relationship to provide each of you with a safe haven and not, instead, a never ending Hurricane Katrina. The bottom line is do not jump to conclusions and never presume to know the thoughts and reasoning behind your partner's actions, motivations or responses. Always check things out with your partner to make sure you're both correctly understanding the other. This will save you from much grief and possibly save you from looking back on love lost because of your own presumptions and possibly, even arrogance.
1 comment:
Well said Michael, well said. I need to remeber that for both my friendships and what I hope will one day be my partnership/marriage.
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