Victoria Brownworth has a very moving and thought provoking - and lengthy - article on 365gay.com about gay suicide, particularly gay teen suicide. As I have said before, I hold hate-filled social conservatives and Christianists in this country, including the leadership of the Roman Catholic Church and Southern Baptist Convention, responsible as the moving forces driving gay teens to suicide literally on a daily basis. All because these religious fanatics are so bigoted and fearful of independent thought and recognition of medical and mental health advances that they cannot tolerate those who are different. Worse yet, in my opinion, they frankly do not give a damn about the lives destroy or the amount of misery and suffering they inflict. To be blunt, I find these folks nothing short of evil. Yes, I concede that this is a highly emotional topic for me because (as long time readers know) I lost a friend to suicide and a former boyfriend's brother killed himself because they could not deal with being gay. Even closer to home, I had my own nearly successful brush with suicide. So much misery, so much suffering, so many needlessly lost lives - and all of it unnecessary. Here are some highlights from 365gay.com:*
Eastern Pennsylvania Psychiatric Institute in Philadelphia – EPPI - used to be the place where teenagers who attempted suicide ended up. . . . For a time it seemed like every lesbian who ever attended my all-girl’s high school ended up attempting suicide and taking a short trip to EPPI because of it.
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Lesbian and gay teens today needn’t feel the hopelessness or fear that the LGBT youth of my generation felt. Or do they? The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services puts the annual rate of suicide in the U.S. at between 35,000 and 40,000 per year. Of than number, almost 20 percent are teenagers between the ages of 12 and 18. According to HHS, suicide is the second leading cause of death among teenagers in the U.S.
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Psychological autopsies – that is, examination of a person’s psychological state in the time leading up to their death – show an alarming 30 percent of LGBT youth among these dead teens. And psychologists believe that number, too, may also be much higher than actually noted in the statistics, as queer teens are most likely to have the true cause of their death and their sexual identity hidden by family members.
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Yet if even the most basic numbers on LGBT teen suicide are accurate, the statistics are stunning and their ramifications shocking. LGBT teens are considering suicide at an alarming rate, attempting it more often than their heterosexual peers and are, sadly, succeeding in those attempts more and more often.
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Many LGBT teens who feel suicide is their only option have inevitably been bullied to death. . . .New forms of bullying – online and in public forums like MySpace and Facebook – have meant that there are no safe peer-group places for LGBT teens who are feeling threatened.
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Lisa Allen* was 16-years-old and a student at Central High School when she tried to kill herself. “Now, of course, I see I was lucky,” she admits. “I wanted to die then, but I am glad I didn’t now. But if Toni hadn’t found me, I wouldn’t have made it.” Lisa Allen is indeed one of the lucky ones. Bobby Griffith was not so lucky.
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Mary Griffith’s grief and remorse after her son’s suicide – he did a back-flip off an overpass into the path of an 18-wheeler and was killed instantly – led her to talk about her experience and her son’s tragic death. In *Prayers for Bobby: A Mother’s Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son,* Griffith talks at length about how her religious beliefs and those she inculcated into Bobby led inexorably to such self-hatred that suicide seemed the only answer to him.
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Penn State University psychologist Anthony D’Augelli studied hundreds of gay and lesbian teens in 14 cities, including Philadelphia. He says their rate of suicide attempts is more than double the average of heterosexual teens. In an interview, D’Augelli said, “In the studies we’ve done, the numbers get up to 30 percent, 40 percent.” That means LGBT teens are between 30 and 40 percent more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers.
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That’s how Belinda Cummings* felt – as if she could not go on. And didn’t want to. . . . I couldn’t be going to church and feeling like I could overcome it all and then the minute I was at school and seeing other girls–and especially the ones I had crushes on–I felt all messed up again. It was just too much. I have to say, when I cut my wrists open that day and the blood started to spurt out, I felt like I had done the right thing.”
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What’s more, conservative and anti-gay groups have focused attention on teens, denying that any teen has a true gay identity. Traditional Values Coalition charged on its disturbing website that the “claims” of high rates of LGBT teen suicide are “bogus” and nothing more than “recruitment techniques” to force schools to address homosexuality in the classroom.
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Like the two girls in the article and surely Bobby Griffin, the day I swallowed a bottle of powerful pills, I just wanted it all to stop. I truly was not thinking beyond that - just make the pain stop. That's all I wanted. Today, I am very happy that my suicide attempt failed. It would have harmed my children immensely and I would never have known the level of peace and self-acceptance I have now achieved. Nor would I have met my wonderful current boyfriend. Here are some resources:
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If you know someone who is feeling suicidal, or an LGBT teen who needs to talk, contact any of these queer or queer-friendly venues for teens.
Suicide Prevention Hotline:1-800-273-TALK
Teen Health and Wellness (800) 237-9932.
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