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Similar Pragmatic Thoughts on HRC

I have had several occasions to call upon HRC for support and every time, the organization has proven itself worthless and/or more concerned about ass kissing mealy mouthed politicians than helping LGBT individuals in need. While it would be nice if HRC held Obama's feet to the fire this coming Saturday night when Obama gives the keynote speech at yet another HRC dinner where yes men/women and ass kissers will predominate, I am not holding my breath for that to occur. Access to power means nothing if that access never delivers real concrete results. Sadly, that's HRC's track record and the main reason why I never give money to HRC when there are much more worthy recipients of financial assistance. By coincidence, Andrew Sullivan had a post from a reader that echoed my feelings. Here are some highlights:

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The whole town [Washington, D.C.] is a well rigged deathtrap for gay rights or, frankly, pretty much any civil rights. It will only change when the climate outside of Washington has changed to the degree that resistance to change is more dangerous than the reverse. That day is coming faster than people realize.

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What is repulsive really is that the HRC keeps playing important and getting black tie dinners when they simply have no really useful function other than, perhaps, treading water until they can have a function and trying to look like there is progress federally to make you happy. But obviously that's not working either. It time they simply said that there is nothing useful that can be done in Washington right now and asked people to put their money to better use.

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A cynical assessment? Yes, but one that is accurate. I see the upcoming National Equality March as not so much as an event that will change things in Washington, D.C., but rather as an event that will energize activists to go back home and demand that real change occur.

Does Coming Out Equate With "Abandoning" One's Family

I saw a new psychiatrist late this afternoon at the office of my former doctor - my former doctor received a promotion and now heads up the entire behavior health care facility and stopped seeing patients - and I liked her alot. Moreover, she seemed to immediately grasp my situation and what has been happening to me over the last 10 months of constant court hearings, threats of contempt charges and finally the TDO last week when I went into total melt down. In fact, she said anyone who had been through what I have been through would likely be feeling depressed and overwhelmed. We are going to try some different meds - since the ones I have been on did not prevent the melt down - and I will see a therapist at the same facility beginning next week. One of the issues I want to address with the therapist is the issue of the pain I feel from my older two children who for all apparent purposes have written me off. It hurts like a knife plunged into me.

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Truth be told, besides the constant financial stress, the most difficult aspect of the last 10 months has been the fact that two of my children have apparently written me off as if I never existed. One even accused me of "abandoning my family" when I came out. Never mind that I was told by the former wife to "go back in the closet and pretend nothing had ever happened or get out of the house." I can still picture the conversation where the ultimatum was given to me as we were standing in the garage of the big home we used to own. And this from someone with a doctoral level education in psychology who certainly knew or should have known what that action would mean for someone gay. It's an emotional death sentence of sorts and an invitation to suicide. Given this reality, I had little choice but to move out, or so I believed at the time when I was still plagued with religious based guilt over who I was/am.

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Since that date, I have done what I could to stay in touch with ALL of my children and given them as much financial support as I could, although for the last 10 months any dollar I gave to them was used against me in court by their mother. Did I abandon them? I think not. At least such was never my intention. Fortunately, my wonderful youngest daughter (pictured above)seems to grasp this reality. She has been a life saver and I treasure her so much.

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Amazingly, the boyfriend has not flinched in the least at paying for everything when I have gotten together with my children or more recently my youngest daughter and her boyfriend (a very sweet guy who treats her well as she deserves). Hopefully, the new therapist (my former therapist, Michael Perkins, has retired) can help me with this issue. Combined with the constant financial stress and court hearing harassment, it is something that at times continues to cause me to have fleeting thoughts that death would be less painful.

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NOTE TO READERS: I am NOT feeling suicidal, so do NOT call the Norfolk police as one dedicated reader did last week causing chaos at the Legends committee meeting and at my house that I rent out to tenants when police officers showed up. I am here at home with the boyfriend, so all is well - but I do thank whoever made that call for caring so much about me.

Catholic Church Loses Fight Over Sealed Papers

The Roman Catholic Church was rebuffed by the U.S. Supreme Court in its effort to keep sex abuse scandal related documents sealed from public and journalist view. I feel no sympathy and suspect that the unsealed documents will likely show that members of the Church hierarchy knew more than they pretend and acted in unconscionable ways in closing their eyes to the abuse of minors. The more sunlight that is allowed to shine on the Church's institutional rot, the better. Only full exposure and open public disgusts have any chance of forcing the Church to undertake the housecleaning and restructuring that it so desperately needs. Here are some highlights from the Wall Street Journal:

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The U.S. Supreme Court cleared the way for the release of thousands of pages of sealed documents concerning sexual abuse by priests in the Catholic diocese of Bridgeport, Conn. The court's decision Monday effectively lifts a stay that has delayed the release of the documents since 2006, when four newspapers persuaded a Connecticut court to unseal them.

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The materials were filed in 23 lawsuits against the Catholic diocese by parishioners during the 1990s, alleging that the church failed to supervise its priests and reassigned those suspected of abusing children. The cases were settled in 2001, as the Catholic abuse scandal grew in national prominence. The sealed documents are said to include transcripts of depositions of church officials, including Cardinal Edward Egan, and files from the investigation of priests accused of abuse during the 1960s and 1970s.

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A Connecticut judge scheduled a hearing for Nov. 9 on unsealing the documents. The case demonstrates the diocese's failure to "take appropriate action to protect innocent children from priests that it knew to be sexual predators," Dan Sullivan, the co-chairman of the Bridgeport affiliate of Voices of the Faithful, an advocate for victims of sex abuse by clergy, said in a statement.

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Bishop Lori said the diocese was concerned "about the impact that these court decisions will have on our First Amendment rights, to determine who is or is not fit to become a priest, and that applies to all religions.

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I'm sorry, but I suspect that the only thing that Bishop Lori is really worried about is how disgusted the Catholic laity may be when it discovers the hypocrisy and moral bankruptcy of the "princes" of the Church who cared nothing about the lives and safety of children and youths. As a parent, I continue to be repulsed by the unconscionable conduct of the bishops, cardinals and Popes involved in the protection and cover up for predator priests.

Tuesday Male Beauty

Obama to Address HRC Annual Dinner on Eve of National Equality March

As any casual reader of this blog knows, I have been hugely disappointed by President Obama's failure to deliver on a single one of his campaign promises to LGBT Americans. Indeed, my of the time I am of the opinion that team Obama cynically used gays to secure our money and votes wit no intention of actually delivering on promises. I continue to be willing to be proven wrong, but as the saying goes, actions speak louder than words and to date, Obama's inaction speaks volumes. I will not be holding my breath. Thus, it will be interesting to see whether Obama does anything more than make the usual nice sounding statements as he addresses the annual HRC dinner on the evening before the National Equality March this coming Sunday. No doubt the freepers and professional Christian set will be outraged that Obama is even darkening the door at an LGBT event. Here are some highlights from The Advocate's coverage of this development:
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It’s been several hours since news leaked that President Barack Obama would be addressing attendees of the Human Rights Campaign's annual fund-raising dinner Saturday night, and already the pressure is mounting. “I am most eager to hear what he has to say,” said David Mixner, a longtime LGBT activist and campaign supporter of Obama who has grown dissatisfied with the president’s lack of action. “If it's a lot of, ‘I'm with you guys, I love you guys, and you won't be disappointed,’ I think that message is going to be devastating.”

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Mixner, who initially called for a march following the release of a Justice Department brief defending the Defense of Marriage Act, echoed a notion common among LGBT advocates these days -- that the time for talk is over, they want action and specifics. And although legislation to extend hate-crimes protections to LGBT people could reach the president's desk sometime this month, few activists mentioned it as their main priority.

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[A]dvocates will be looking for the kind of particulars that the White House has been short on when it comes to equal rights. Obama already delivered a feel-good, I’m-on-your-side message this summer at a White House reception for the LGBT community. During that speech, he reiterated all of his campaign promises to support initiatives like federal hate-crimes protections and employment nondiscrimination legislation as well as the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act and “don’t ask, don’t tell.”
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But to date, activists say it’s difficult to find the White House footprint on much of anything specifically related to the advancement of LGBT rights. “It’s been 11 months since the election; he has expended very little political capital for our benefit,” said Richard Socarides, a former LGBT adviser and special assistant to President Bill Clinton.

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As I said, I have no expectations that Obama will do anything other than the same old BS we have been seeing for 11 months. I hope I am wrong, but I do not think that I will be.

Homophobia Allegations Continue to Cause Firestorm at UVA Law School

As a graduate of UVA Law, I am following the aftermath of former UVA Law professor, William Eskridge Jr., before Congress with interest. During the years I was a student at the law school, I cannot think of a single openly gay student or professor. Not a one out of over 1000+ students. Sadly, I tend to believe Eskridge's allegations since even now homophobia is alive and well in the Commonwelth of Virginia. One only need look at GOP statewide candidates Taliban Bob McDonnell and the gay-hating Ken Cuccinelli to imagine the atmosphere across the state some 24 years ago. Indeed, even today it is perfectly legal for LGBT employees to be fired because of their sexual orientation. Things have improved at UVA greatly (there is now even a gay fraternity), but the state of Virginia as a whole is an anti-gay backwater in terms of LGBT Virginians having any legal protections whatsoever. Here are highlights from a new story in the ABA Journal:

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An almost 25-year-old law school tenure decision is suddenly controversial, following testimony by a now-high-profile professor before a Congressional committee last month that he was denied fair consideration due to his sexual orientation. In response, the law school's dean says it does not discriminate and strives to maintain a welcoming environment to all members of the academic community.

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William Eskridge Jr., who is gay, cited his own experience in 1985 at the University of Virginia School of Law as an example of why the proposed Employment and Non-Discrimination Act of 2009 is needed to ban both states and private employers from discriminating on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, according to the UVA Law Blog and Above the Law.

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Eskridge says he himself first found about an adverse appointments committee report that unfairly discounted his scholarship when the chairman "stormed into my office and screamed at me for 10 minutes or so," apparently under the mistaken belief that Eskridge already knew about the report and complained. "With clenched fists and a beet-red face, the chair of the committee threw a tantrum that included a string of accusations, such as 'stabbing me in the back' and behaving in the treacherous manner that he and his colleagues ought to have expected of a 'faggot,' " says Eskridge in his testimony to the House Committee on Education and Labor.

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Hunter of Justice provides a link to Eskridge's testimony. Eskridge's accusations have created a firestorm in law school circles and sparked a response from the current dean of Virginia's law school. His written statement is detailed in Brian Leiter's Law School Reports:

Dean Paul Mahoney, who came to the law school after Eskridge left, says those with whom he has spoken deny that Eskridge was targeted due to his sexual orientation. Eskridge, writes Mahoney, was deferred for a subsequent tenure decision, rather than being either granted or denied tenure, because "the faculty wished to see the fruits of his promising, but nascent, scholarly interest in legislation before granting tenure.

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As I have stated before, to interview at any of Virginia's top law schools - that, of course excludes Regent University and Liberty University's Christo-fascists law schools - law firms must agree to a non-discrimination policy that includes non-discrimination based on sexual orientation. Yet NONE of the major law firms in the Hampton Roads area has an openly gay partner. That's right NONE of them. And I was forced from a firm because I was gay. Virginia has a long, long way to go until it enters the 21st century and bans religious based discrimination against its LGBT citizens.

More Monday Male Beauty

Gays' for Good Deeds Not Enough for Cat church

The ever gay hating, hypocritical Roman Catholic Church has demonstrated its true colors yet again. This time the bigotry was exposed in connection with a function involving an anniversary luncheon for El Centro Humanitario, a Denver, Colorado, group that advocates for Hispanics and day laborers. One would think the Church would happily accept supporters for such a worthy cause, but not so if - God forbid - those supporters are gay and lesbian. I truly cannot comprehend the obsession the Church has with gays - and gay sex- when there are so many much more pressing and important issues facing humanity. Here ate some highlights from the Denver Post:

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Jesus hung out with a crowd of day laborers. That's why the Catholic Church long has fed them, helped find them jobs and homes, and fought for their rights. But solidarity met its limits last week when the Archdiocese of Denver broke trust with a group of day labor advocates for accepting funding from gays and lesbians. The church can't bring itself to contain its homophobia, even for an hour, to lease a banquet room to El Centro Humanitario.

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El Centro is the pre-eminent group fighting for the rights of thousands of poor and vulnerable migrant workers in Denver whom the church claims to care about — and who happen overwhelmingly to be Catholic. The nonprofit group left a deposit and signed a contract with the archdiocese to rent space in its Hispanic ministry building for El Centro's hour-long anniversary luncheon this Friday. But the Church wigged out when realizing that benefactors include the Gay and Lesbian Fund for Colorado.

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The archdiocese singled out the Gay and Lesbian Fund among the luncheon's 10 sponsors, forbidding El Centro even from uttering the fund's name on church property. El Centro wouldn't be allowed to thank the fund for its $3,000 donation or hang a banner or pass out a program acknowledging its sponsorship, the church insisted.

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The more subtle implication seems to be that perfectly straight Catholics might become queer merely by eating burritos funded partially by lesbians, sitting in chairs gay men helped rent or wiping their mouths with napkins that God-knows-which-perverts pitched in for.
The fund's money is apparently too dirty, even if "the Catholic Church understands the need to reach out to and love homosexual persons," archdiocese spokeswoman Jeanette DeMelo argues. Whatever that means.

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The reality is that today's Church hierarchy is full of modern day Pharisees - and that includes the Nazi Pope, Benedict XVI - who obviously need to re-read the parable of the Good Samaritan. Once again, I feel so much morally clean now that I am no longer a Roman Catholic. The institutional Church becomes more reprehensible by the day.

Iowa Markets to California Gays at Disney Land

Who would have ever believed that Iowa would be marketing to California gays to relocate to Iowa where their relationships and marriages will be recognized in contrast to the legal reality in California where mob majority rule stripped same sex couples of their civil marriage rights last November. Yet that is exactly what has been happening. The Orange County Register has the details on this remarkable juxtaposition from what one would normally expect. Personally, I would love to see Iowa successfully recruit gays in the creative class to relocate to Iowa and help make Iowa a center for innovation and progressive thinking. I continue to believe that in the long term states and regions that are gay accepting and afford same sex couples full marriage equality will outstrip reactionary and anti-gay states in terms of economic development and in the ability to attract desirable workers and businesses. Ultimately, anti-gay bigotry will have a real tangible price. One need only look at states like Mississippi and Alabama to see that backward thinking and bigotry are not engines for first class economic development. Here are some story highlights:

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Figuring that plenty of gay couples in California are frustrated by the inability to get legally married here, representatives from Iowa have set up a booth at Gay Days at the Disneyland Resort encouraging them to consider moving to the Hawkeye State.

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Two representatives for three regional visitors bureaus flew out for the three-day Gay Days, when 30,000 partipants roll into town to attend Disneyland. Gay Days is not sponsored by nor discouraged by Disney.

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At the booth set up inside Disney’s Grand Californian hotel, gay and lesbian couples sampled wedding cake and posed for photos inside a frame that read, “Just Married … In Iowa City!” The Iowa representatives took the free photos and supplied the tuxedo jackets and bridal veils. They also handed out brochures touting Iowa City, Cedar Rapids and Coralville, among other cities.

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“We want people to know that if the California Legislature is unwilling to take the step to give gay couples the right to marry, then please consider coming to Iowa where we will gladly welcome you with open arms,” said Joe Jennison, executive director of the Iowa Cultural Corridor Alliance.

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The booth also was staffed by Eric Heinkel, who is not gay, and is convention sales manager for the Iowa City Coralville Area Convention and Visitors Bureau. Heinkel, who recently graduated from the University of Iowa and is originally from Chicago, said many businesses, including hotels and wedding-photography firms, and some churches, are eager to cater to the gay community.

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Here in Virginia, the homophobes like to parrot that Virginia is a business friendly state. However there is more to being progressive and welcoming to progressive businesses than low taxes. A fact that Taliban Bob McDonnell and Ken "Kook" Cuccinelli have yet to figure out.