Gay Suicide and the Holidays

By some estimates, gay men are six times more likely to attempt suicide than their straight counterparts and the numbers increase exponentially during the holidays. I suspect that this increase during the holiday season is due no doubt in part to (i) the family rejection many gays have experienced with their families, (ii) alienation from the religious backgrounds in which they were raised and (iii) the expectation that one is supposed to be "happy" during the holiday season. As Health Scout reports, this year may be even worse:

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Sagging spirits, sagging economy. That's the holidays this year, with many people both blue and broke -- the usual melancholy compounded by the highest jobless rate in three decades and a jackknifing stock market. . . . "Mental health problems are common and spike more often during the winter months not only because of the holidays, but also because of seasonal affective disorder," said Dr. Timothy Fong, assistant professor of psychiatry and director of the UCLA Impulse Control Disorders Clinic. "This year, more than anything else, financial stressors are bringing that out."

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[People who] once paid cash for counseling just can't afford to pay anymore, especially with going rates in the Los Angeles area ranging from $125 to $400 and up. And insurers are tightening up regulations. One patient who spent four days in the hospital recently detoxing from prescription drugs found himself with an unanticipated $8,000 bill for the stay. "His holidays are ruined," Fong said.

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Another factor that can play in also is the fact that suicide risk persists for many years after attempted suicide. I know this from my personal experience - once you have nearly succeeded in "ending it all," it seems far easier to slide back into the mindset. It is something I continue to struggle with and this holiday season is no exception (I sometimes think the former wife's strategy is to try to push me to another attempt, in fact). A study in the UK found as follows:

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(British Medical Journal) -- The risk of suicide for people with a history of attempted suicide or deliberate self harm (parasuicide) persists without decline for two decades, finds a study in this week's BMJ. . . . Clinicians are encouraged to pay particular attention to the management of patients immediately after an episode of parasuicide, say the authors. Previous deliberate self harm remains a potent risk factor for subsequent suicide, even if it occurred many years ago, they conclude.

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So what does one do? Mental Health America has some suggestions here. It is also important to remember that suicide is not chosen per se, but rather happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain. Another resource page can be found here. Of course, another thing is to consider is seeking professional help if one can afford to do so..

Christo-fascist Rick Warren Scrubs Anti-Gay Message

I previously did a post on Friday that focused upon Saddleback Church's policy of barring "unrepentant gays" from church membership and queried whether or not Barack Obama endorsed the church's bigotry. Lo and behold, today it is turns out that Saddleback's website has been modified to delete the offending page (pictured at left) although you can still find the anti-gay language via Google's cache. As John Aravosis noted at America Blog, the questions that spring to mind are:

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So does Rick Warren now welcome gays, all gays, as members of his church? Or is he simply embarrassed of his views - embarrassed of God's views, per Warren's own admission? And if Warren is embarrassed of God's views, then what is he doing as a public spokesman on religion?

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Tonight on Hardball, Mike Rogers debated the Rick Warren issue and from the clip I saw, Mike did a good job even though some of the others discussing the issue were condescending and/or petty. Granted, I would not have suggested that perhaps Warren has "seen the light." Many of us are indeed outraged by the Warren selection and we are NOT confined to "Cambridge MA, Georgetown DC, the Upper West Side of NY, Santa Monica and San Francisco, CA" as suggested by Mike Barnicle who I often find to be a conceited pompous ass.

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The reality is that Rick Warren is a Christianist extremist and personally, I suspect that all the focused scrutiny on what Warren is really all about was getting to be too much for both Warren and Obama and that, if the scrutiny continues to go unstopped, Warren might well have to be uninvited. Scrubbing the anti-gay message on the Saddleback Church website was but an example of efforts being made to lessen the embarrassment to Obama and/or to avoid Warren being uninvited. The scrutiny needs to continue so that Warren's extremism is fully exposed.

Wingnut Frenzy Over Campbell Soup Ads

What with the economy in the worse shape since perhaps the 1930's, millions of American families facing foreclosure and the loss of their homes, people unable to pay utility bills in the midst of winter, there are any number of things Christian organizations could do to assist their fellow man. But not the American Family Association. Oh no, the lunatics at AFA are instead in a frenzy over the fact that Campbell Soup has placed ads in - oh the horror - gay publications. Forget the poor, the homeless, and the hungry. The "gay agenda" and its supporters trump all else. At least in the minds of the mentally imbalanced and those looking for more donations from the sheep like followers. Never mind that the LGBT community has consumer purchasing power in the neighborhood of $800 billion and any company in the business of making money would be foolish to ignore such a niche market. Here are some highlights from AFA's "news" website, OneNewsNow:

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The American Family Association (AFA) says Christian consumers need to know that the Campbell Soup Company embraces the homosexual agenda. Campbell Soup bought two 2-page ads in the December and January issues of The Advocate, the nation's largest homosexual magazine. The ads promote their Swanson line of broth, and one of the ads highlights the lives of two lesbians, who are portrayed as being married, along with "their" son. Other ads feature chefs from New York City.
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Randy Sharp, AFA's director of special projects, says concerned consumers should contact company officials and ask them to stop endorsing homosexuality. "When you specifically target a homosexual magazine, then your company is basically endorsing these activities; you're endorsing the lifestyle," claims Sharp. "And in one ad, which...clearly shows two lesbians who say they are married, who say they have a son together, ...the Campbell Soup Company is saying 'we approve of homosexual marriage.' There is no question whatsoever of what the intentions of the company are."

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In an Action Alert to its supporters, AFA accuses Campbell of normalizing same-sex families. . . . Anthony Sanzio, a Campbell Soup Company spokesperson, tells OneNewsNow that the company reaches out to all segments of society. "We support all types of families, regardless of how they're defined, [and have done so] for more than 100 years," Sanzio offers. "We advertise in a variety of different media outlets that appeal to a broad spectrum of society. That's what we're doing here, and that's what we'll continue to do."

More Monday Male Beauty

Pope Denigrates Gays While Church Condemned for Sins of Hierarchy

Nazi Pope, Benedict XVI, continues to denigrate and malign LGBT individuals while the sex abuse scandal enabled and/or covered up by high clerics continues to breed lawsuits and condemnation. In his latest insult to gays, Benedict XVI equates saving humanity from gays with saving the rain forests and the environment. In my view, Benedict XVI and the hypocrisy, ignorance and intolerance he markets daily is a far bigger threat to humanity. Meanwhile the lawsuits against the Roman Catholic Church continue to pile up as do reports showing that high church clerics perhaps deliberately failed to take meaningful steps to protect children from sexual molestation. First, some highlights from Reuters as to the latest foul talk emanating from the former Hitler Youth Pope:

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Pope Benedict said on Monday that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction. . . . The Catholic Church teaches that while homosexuality is not sinful, homosexual acts are. It opposes gay marriage and, in October, a leading Vatican official called homosexuality "a deviation, an irregularity, a wound." The pope said humanity needed to "listen to the language of creation" to understand the intended roles of man and woman. He compared behavior beyond traditional heterosexual relations as "a destruction of God's work."*

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Would that Benedict XVI put forth as much concern towards cleaning house of the offending bishops and cardinals who failed to protect children from sexual predator priests. One example comes from Ireland where lay groups are calling for the resignation of the Bishop of Cloyne, Dr John Magee, now that a government report has condemned the conduct of Magee. Given the past treatment of members of the hierarchy who failed to protect children and youths, Magee will probably be offered a plum position at the Vatican. Here are some highlights from the Irish Times:

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On Friday, the Bishop of Cloyne, Dr John Magee, apologised to victims of clerical abuse after an independent report found that his diocese had put children at risk of harm because of its inability to respond appropriately to abuse allegations. The report from the National Board for Safeguarding Children said: "Put simply, the responses of the diocese could be described as ill-advised, and too little, too late."

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Voice of the Faithful said Dr Magee's actions made him "wholly incompetent to discharge his apostolic and pastoral role of safeguarding their children. We therefore call upon him to resign this office immediately." The group called on Pope Benedict XVI to request the resignation of Dr Magee if he refused to go, and to investigate and explain to the parents of Catholic children why so many bishops all over the world had failed their people in the same way.

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Seán Ó Conaill, acting co-ordinator of Voice of the Faithful (Ireland) said it was not enough for another bishop to resign. "We must be sure that the next bishop of Cloyne, and every other bishop in the church, truly puts the needs of children before clergy. "Otherwise the horrific pain of abuse, and the disgracing of our church by too many of its bishops, will surely continue."

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Meanwhile, on the other side of the world the number of sex abuse claimants reaches 288 in Fairbanks, Alaska Diocese, further demonstrating the utter failure of Benedict's predecessors to give a damn about the welfare of children. Here are highlights from the Catholic Review:

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The number of people claiming to have been sexually abused by Catholic priests and other church workers in the Fairbanks Diocese over the past six decades more than doubled after the diocese filed for bankruptcy protection in March. The diocese said 288 people have made abuse claims against more than 40 individuals, with most of the cases relating to childhood sexual abuse.

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The Society of Jesus reportedly paid $50 million in 2007 to settle lawsuits filed by 110 Alaskans against 12 Jesuit priests and three other church workers, including Lundowski.The nation’s largest diocese geographically, Fairbanks covers more than 400,000 square miles.Other dioceses that have filed for bankruptcy to resolve clergy sex abuse claims are San Diego, Spokane, Wash., Davenport, Iowa, and the Archdiocese of Portland, Ore. Portland, Davenport and Spokane have emerged from bankruptcy.

Free Michael Fund - Update

To my surprise, I received a check for $50.00 today from readers in San Francisco making a contribution for the "Free Michael Fund." I am stunned - and humbled - that someone would actually take the time to write out a check and address an envelop and send money for my benefit. The funds will be used to make additional payments to my former wife - since she hates the blog, it will probably tick her off that readers sent money to me - and incrementally moved up the date when I can finally be free from her.

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I must admit that I was rather depressed this morning even though I had a nice weekend with the boyfriend and my daughters and had experienced wonderful, accepting treatment from several of my boyfriend's straight friends over the weekend. Opening the note with the check was a terrific surprise and moral booster.

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I am working to put a paypay pal donation button on the blog, but to date it's not working correctly. In the interim, if anyone else wants to help me out, please make your checks out to "Michael Hamar" so that I can easily deposit them with my bank. As for the generous donors form San Francisco, I want to extend a huge THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

Rick Warren's Message of "Love"

LGBT Americans are not the only ones to whom Barack Obama has "flicked the bird" with his selection of Christo-fascist Rick Warren to give the inaugural invocation. Joining us are Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Muslims - in fact everyone who is not a modern day Pharisee like Warren and his self-righteous, self-satisfied followers. Again WYF was Obama thinking? A good overview of just how extreme Warren's views are, see this column at the Los Angeles Times.

Monday Male Beauty

1 of 18,000 Being Attacked This Holiday Season

Waymon Hudson (on the left) of Fight Out Loud and Bilerico Project, who I met at the Blogger Summit, has a great post over at Pam's House Blend today that looks at the Christianist war against LGBT citizens and underscores just how disingenuous our foes are when it comes to demonizing people that they do not even know. They act as if we are some alien species as opposed to people just like everyone else save for who we fall in love with. Waymon's post likewise shows how important it is to be open and authentic in our lives because it goes to demolish the "other" aspect that our foes work so hard to maintain. Here are a few highlights:

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My "homosexual agenda" is pretty much the same everyday. Wake-up, give my husband a kiss on the cheek, give one of our dogs his allergy medicine and make sure there is food in their bowls, decide if I can skip another day of going for a jog as I munch on leftover holiday cookies, eventually make my way over to the computer to check my email and start my work day. Pretty sinister, right?

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I often wonder if the people fighting to strip away our marriage really stop to think of the individuals involved, to really put a face on the news story and the nameless numbers. They are great about putting out press releases, commercials, and emails talking about the dangerous homosexual agenda, but I wonder if they think about the people they are working so hard to take things from.

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It's interesting that the people that are quite literally destroying marriages, mine and 18,000 others, are somehow taking the stance of moral authority. I know for certain that part of my day does not include trying to break up other marriages. Can they say the same? So for now I sit next to my husband, the man I love, and wonder how someone else gets the right to decide if our marriage is valid. I know they can never change how we feel for one another, but it doesn't stop it from stinging as you read a headline about how your marriage is getting dissolved. Happy Holidays, indeed...

Holiday Melancholy

After a busy weekend of holiday festivities and parties, including a wonderful dinner with my daughters, for a total of five events in three days, I nonetheless find myself sad and depressed. Perhaps it is because of the almost forced expectation that one be happy and merry. Meanwhile, work is hectic, money is beyond tight, and it's very cold this morning to boot.

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Perhaps another unconscious element is the fact that with the added religious focus that one sees this time of year, it also brings to mind the fact that for LGBT individuals the fact that one is an outsider since so many "Christians" are the enemies of gays and gay rights. It is supposed to be a time of good cheer and God's love, yet for the professional Christians the shams of "the war against Christmas," "protecting marriage," and other fabricated reasons to shake down the sheep for money and to denigrate others continue along unabated. The rank hypocrisy is overwhelming.

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I'll be happy to see the New Year if for no other reason than to escape the false merriment and to see it put away for yet another year. Meanwhile, the bright spots in my life are my children and the boyfriend who continues to prove himself wonderful and a lifesaver to me.