I'm dating myself, but the truth is that when I was a closeted gay teen doing my damnedest to convince myself I wasn't really gay - there were no out gay role models. Liberace came about as close as one could find - and even he claimed publicly that he wasn't gay. There has been huge progress over the last 40+ years since I was a teen, but in far too many communities (most of Virginia falls into this category) gay teens still lack realistic role models. Yes, there are out gay and lesbian celebrities, but most gay teens do not know a single gay business owner or out professional in their own communities.*
This sad state of affairs is one of the reasons I got involved in founding HRBOR. Being out and proud in one's professional life not only impacts (and hopefully opens minds in) the larger business community, but in time I hope that HRBOR can demonstrate to LGBT youth that one can succeed and be happy even in societal backwaters like Hampton Roads. I also started this blog to track my coming out journey and, as long time readers know, I have been through a veritable living Hell. But guess what. I survived and I'm in a relationship with a wonderful guy and have found an inner happiness/self acceptance that eluded me for decades.
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The New York Times has a piece on the new video effort launched by Dan Savage and his partner to convince gay teens that success and happiness are possible even if there is abuse and ridicule along the way. Kudos to Dan and Terry. The video clip can be viewed below. Here are some highlights:
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A new online video channel is reaching out to teenagers who are bullied at school for being gay. The message: life really does get better after high school.
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The YouTube channel, called the “It Gets Better Project,” was created by the Seattle advice columnist and activist Dan Savage. Mr. Savage says he was moved by the suicide of Billy Lucas, a Greensburg, Ind., high school student who was the target of slurs and bullying. The channel promises to be a collection of videos from adults in the gay community who share their own stories of surviving school bullying and moving on to build successful careers and happy home lives. The first video shows Mr. Savage with his partner of 16 years, Terry. The men tell their own stories of being bullied, finding each other and becoming parents.
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They see Ellen and Adam Lambert and Neil Patrick Harris. They’re good folks and important public figures, but those are gay celebrities. What are the odds of becoming a celebrity? What kids have a hard time picturing is a rewarding, good, average life for themselves. Becoming Ellen is like winning the lottery. But there are a lot of happy and content lesbians who we don’t see or hear from ever. Those are the people teens need to hear from right now. When a 15-year-old kills himself, he’s saying he can’t picture a future that is decent enough and happy enough to stick around for. Gay adults can show our present lives and help them picture a future.
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Because of technology, we don’t need to wait for an invitation anymore to speak to these kids. We can speak to them directly. . . . . we didn’t want to seem like we are bragging, but we wanted to talk about the things that are good and meaningful and give us joy, like going snowboarding or going to Paris. We don’t want to seem elitist. And we didn’t want to wallow in pain. We want to give kids hope for a future life that has pleasure and joy and family.
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We want people to post their own videos and send me a link. I can select them and add it to the page. The Web site is www.YouTube.com/ItGetsBetterProject. It’s going to be interesting to see what comes in. I don’t want it to be “lifestyles of the gay and fabulous.” What we want to say to kids is that if you don’t win the economic lottery, and most people don’t, you can have a good and decent and fun life that brings love.
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A new online video channel is reaching out to teenagers who are bullied at school for being gay. The message: life really does get better after high school.
*
The YouTube channel, called the “It Gets Better Project,” was created by the Seattle advice columnist and activist Dan Savage. Mr. Savage says he was moved by the suicide of Billy Lucas, a Greensburg, Ind., high school student who was the target of slurs and bullying. The channel promises to be a collection of videos from adults in the gay community who share their own stories of surviving school bullying and moving on to build successful careers and happy home lives. The first video shows Mr. Savage with his partner of 16 years, Terry. The men tell their own stories of being bullied, finding each other and becoming parents.
*
They see Ellen and Adam Lambert and Neil Patrick Harris. They’re good folks and important public figures, but those are gay celebrities. What are the odds of becoming a celebrity? What kids have a hard time picturing is a rewarding, good, average life for themselves. Becoming Ellen is like winning the lottery. But there are a lot of happy and content lesbians who we don’t see or hear from ever. Those are the people teens need to hear from right now. When a 15-year-old kills himself, he’s saying he can’t picture a future that is decent enough and happy enough to stick around for. Gay adults can show our present lives and help them picture a future.
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Because of technology, we don’t need to wait for an invitation anymore to speak to these kids. We can speak to them directly. . . . . we didn’t want to seem like we are bragging, but we wanted to talk about the things that are good and meaningful and give us joy, like going snowboarding or going to Paris. We don’t want to seem elitist. And we didn’t want to wallow in pain. We want to give kids hope for a future life that has pleasure and joy and family.
*
We want people to post their own videos and send me a link. I can select them and add it to the page. The Web site is www.YouTube.com/ItGetsBetterProject. It’s going to be interesting to see what comes in. I don’t want it to be “lifestyles of the gay and fabulous.” What we want to say to kids is that if you don’t win the economic lottery, and most people don’t, you can have a good and decent and fun life that brings love.
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