Hatred and Homophobia - Who's to Blame for Gay Suicides

My blogger friend Pam Spaulding has an op-ed on CNN in the wake of Tyler Clementi's high profile suicide. The question comes down to why did he feel compelled to end his life and what can be done to stop the death toll. Pam is very restrained in her discussion and looks at the continued acceptability of anti-gay animus and the toll it takes on the lives and happiness of LGBT individuals. For the most part she holds back from laying blame where in my opinion it most properly belongs: parasitic professional Christians, the Mormon Church, the Roman Catholic Church, the Southern Baptist Convention all of which seek to inflict their anti-gay religious beliefs on all citizens notwithstanding the Constitution's promise of religious freedom. Equally to blame are legislators, both state and federal, sworn to uphold the Constitution who are either only too happy to pander to Christianists who would subvert the Constitution or who are too gutless and spineless to forcefully demand the immediate repeal of religious based anti-gay discrimination. Unfortunately, such politicians include the current occupant of the White House. Despite her restrained and diplomatic language, Pam gets much of the problem right. Here are highlights:

*

Tyler Clementi's story may be high-profile because of the circumstances of the alleged bullying, but the fate of this young man is not a solitary incident. This parents' nightmare is repeated around the country as our society grapples with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender (LGBT) youth coming out at earlier ages -- and being visible from grade school to college.

*

While they may find acceptance by loving parents and be encouraged by a culture increasingly embracing their identity, these young people find that "being themselves" is not always well-received by an important slice of their world -- school administrators, children who bully, and even teachers who subscribe to the "toughen up" philosophy. This world has not caught up, even as anti-bullying policies are being passed across the country.

*

In the coverage of this incident, I have seen discussion about the legal angles of prosecution, the psychological impact of the alleged heinous violation of privacy, but not enough about the festering social ill that brought us here. Who creates the bully? Who is accountable? It's cold, this learned anti-social attitude towards being different and it has a striking impact on university campuses. Campus Pride, a nonprofit organization that engages student leaders and campus organizations to create safer, more LGBT-friendly colleges and universities, reissued its national report of findings on harassment at campuses, in light of Tyler Clementi's suicide.

*

It makes your heart sink [read Pam's piece for all of the statistics]:

*

-- Twenty-three percent of staff, faculty, and students who identified as lesbian, gay, bisexual or questioning (LGBQ) were more likely to experience harassment (defined as any conduct that interfered with the ability to work or learn) compared to heterosexuals. Eighty-three percent identified sexual identity as the basis of the harassment.

*

-- Thirty-three percent of LGBQ and 38 percent of transgender students, faculty and staff have seriously considered leaving their institution due to the challenging climate.

Our society must discuss how the bully persona emerges in individuals -- young people who can do tremendous damage without even seeing themselves as bullies -- and this needs to happen out in the open.

*

The media can play an important role. It can continue to call out, for example, things like the unhinged behavior of adult cyberbully Andrew Shirvell, the Michigan assistant attorney general, who is on a one-man homophobic mission to berate Chris Armstrong, the student body president at the University of Michigan. Shirvell, on the public payroll in a job that is supposed to represent all of the people of Michigan, maintains a blog solely devoted to his obsession with Armstrong.

As long as "moral" objections to "difference" continue to be carefully taught and tolerated, we will continue hearing about more Tyler Clementi giving up hope in humanity and Chris Armstrong looking over his real-world and virtual shoulder for a bully.