Once again I had a restless night – between thinking about the divorce case and the still undiagnosed medical situation (which is causing terrible itching all over), my mind cannot settle down and sleep is impossible. Hence, I got up before dawn and quietly got showered, dressed and came to the office so as to not disturb the roommates, Rob and Matt.On the divorce front, I guess what upsets me the most is that, in my opinion, the judge hearing the property settlement portion of the case did not even view me as fully human. Instead, I was the nasty faggot who needed to be severely punished for being gay. Everything was my fault. Therefore, I am going file a motion with the Court for a reconsideration (or setting aside) of his ruling. Whether I am successful or not in the attempt, I feel that I cannot just sit back and take the abuse. No one should be treated less than human. I hope gays everywhere will continue to fight for recognition of their humanity.
On the medical front, I am scheduled for an MRI on Friday morning and more blood work and tests are being done. The waiting and wondering are driving me crazy (but not as much as the itching – Chimperator Bush could use this instead of water boarding prisoners). Since I have become much better about living in the present and not obsessing about a future I cannot control – my therapist will be pleased - I think I can handle whatever the diagnosis may be. I am finally happy with whom I am and that is the most priceless thing one can have. Chaos can surround me, but no one can take away long sought self-acceptance.
The photo was taken on the Sea to Sky Highway between Vancouver and Whistler, British Columbia, Canada, one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.
3 comments:
I commend you for standing up for yourself, for demanding to be treated equally, like a human being. I hope things turn out favorably.
Ugh! Itching. Is there any medication that stops or at least tempers the itching? Think I'd go nuts. Please keep us posted on your condition. I'm concerned.
Good morning Michael,
You have learned an important lesson about being true to oneself first. We can't love and accept others until we love ourselves. While the hurdles will come and go, your situation will improve with time. Sometimes that is the most difficult thing about change - it takes time, but as long as you are happy with yourself, you will persevere.
Best of luck with your tests. You have many friends who are rooting for you.
David
O.K. I, for one, have to go on record and disagreeing with you being a nasty faggot. I've known some pretty nasty faggots in my time and you're definitely not even in the running. You're too kind, considerate (although very human with real emotions), and have dashing good looks. All of these are attributes which counter the nasty faggot argument. What's more is that you are quite intelligent and have the fortitude to put up a good, clean fight. Make a good argument and give it your all. As long as you have an option for appeal, keep holding out for a just and reasonable settlement.
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