 |
| The dining area set for dinner with the husband and six friends tomorrow |
Fourteen years ago I had my first Thanksgiving after I had come out and moved to an apartment from the family home. While I had dinner on Thanksgiving with my late parents in their home in Virginia Beach along with some of my siblings, my children were not present and, truth be told, it was perhaps the worse Thanksgiving of my lifetime. I knew very few people after having been abandoned by most of friends from the straight phase of my life and depression was my near constant companion. Fast forward to today and I have the life I wanted back then but never expected to have: a loving husband, great relationships with my children and grandchildren, and an involved and active social life.
In contrast to that bleak and depressed Thanksgiving in 2002, tomorrow the husband I will host dinner for six friends and then afterward we will all go down the street to the home of neighbors for a "pie contest " - I baked a pie to take - with even more friends. On Saturday, the daughters and grandchildren will come to the house. I never could have envisioned the happiness and stability that I now have even though my therapist always lectured me that it would if only I would be patient and let go of the self-pity.
I don't mean to sound like I am bragging or self-satisfied. Rather, my message to those coming out later in life as I did who may be experiencing the sadness and heartache I did, hang in there. Time is on your side and in almost all cases your children, if you have them, will come around and support you and love you. Let them know that you are there for them and always will be. With time, they will figure it all out in time. As far as rebuilding a social circle, that too can happen with time and effort. Get involved in LGBT organizations, the arts, politics, or all of the foregoing and you will make new friends. Some may even turn out to be some of the best friends you will ever have, It seems like an eternity at the time, but you too can move on and live a happy and authentic life. Find some happiness this Thanksgiving.
As always, feel free to call or e-mail me if you feel the need. I feel blessed to be able to help others on their journey.
In contrast to that bleak and depressed Thanksgiving in 2002, tomorrow the husband I will host dinner for six friends and then afterward we will all go down the street to the home of neighbors for a "pie contest " - I baked a pie to take - with even more friends. On Saturday, the daughters and grandchildren will come to the house. I never could have envisioned the happiness and stability that I now have even though my therapist always lectured me that it would if only I would be patient and let go of the self-pity.
I don't mean to sound like I am bragging or self-satisfied. Rather, my message to those coming out later in life as I did who may be experiencing the sadness and heartache I did, hang in there. Time is on your side and in almost all cases your children, if you have them, will come around and support you and love you. Let them know that you are there for them and always will be. With time, they will figure it all out in time. As far as rebuilding a social circle, that too can happen with time and effort. Get involved in LGBT organizations, the arts, politics, or all of the foregoing and you will make new friends. Some may even turn out to be some of the best friends you will ever have, It seems like an eternity at the time, but you too can move on and live a happy and authentic life. Find some happiness this Thanksgiving.
As always, feel free to call or e-mail me if you feel the need. I feel blessed to be able to help others on their journey.
