I want to thank all of you who have been supportive through your telephone calls, e-mails and comments. It is very moving for me that a number of you care about me as much as you do. Some messages have given me things to think about in terms of self improvement efforts as well. I have been told that I am "a bit opinionated at times," which I will concede is an accurate statement. However, I really do try to back my opinions with facts and/or personal experiences so that I am not simply shooting my mouth off with no clue as to what the real facts are. If I am out in left field, I am never taken aback if one of you wants to point out perceptions or angles that I have perhaps over looked, so feel free to send me your thoughts.
Another reader commented that "you set your standards so high you'll never be able to reach them (in regard to a relationship)" and "I believe if you look back, there have been those who have been interested, but didn't quite come up to your standards." I truly do not think I am looking for perfection - I simply have a vision of what I would like in a partner and would really like to "get it right" the next time I enter into a relationship. At nearly 56, I figure I do not have time to waste screwing up on false starts. I know that I am far from perfect and accept the imperfections of others. Honesty, a decent level of intelligence, and a good heart are perhaps the highest prerequisites for me. I guess not being a total couch potato is another - I like quiet evenings at home, but also like to be involved in things that I'm passionate about (HRBOR, EV, gay activism, politics) and like many types of social settings.
I will also confess that at times I can be a bit obtuse when it comes to recognizing that someone is interested in me. In my closeted life, my former wife would often tell me at times that women were checking me out or flirting with me and I'd be utterly oblivious to it. In some ways, I am still that way in the gay dating world. Without some type of encouragement (and probably not all that subtle), I am likely to never make the first move so as to avoid being shot down in flames and humiliated. I will also admit that I have a real hang up about my age and wonder at times what I have to offer someone who is active and vibrant. The gay dating scene seems to place so much emphasis on youth and I can't deceive myself that I am young even if I do not act or feel "old." I would also say that I suspect that what some may see as aloofness at times is really me being afraid of rejection.
Again, thanks for all the friendship and support. It means ever so much to me.
