Former “Ex-Gay” Activist Marries A Man

At this time of year when discriminatory charities like the Salvation Army and the Union Mission are shilling for money and the self-congratulatory professional Christians likewise look to shake down the ignorant for money, it's appropriate to remember the dishonesty of these organizations and individuals.  One of the starkest lies is their claim that gays can "change" and become straight.  Their "ex-gay" programs serve two purposes: (i) to convince moron and/or political whore politicians that gays deserve no non-discrimination protections, and (ii) to shake down self-loathing, religiously brainwashed gays and their parents for lots of money.  The truth?  That no one can actually change their sexual orientation.  All they can do is lie, deceive themselves and others, and live in torment.  John Smid, who once ran Love In Action, an ex-gay ministry based in Memphis, twice tried to "turn straight" and has two failed marriages to women to prove it - Christofascist care nothing about the collateral damage done to straight spouses and children.  Finally, Smid admitted that it all was a lie.  Now, he has married and man and hopes to finally find "happily ever after.  Here are highlights from Queerty:

John Smid, who once claimed to have been “cured” of homosexuality and who worked with various “ex-gay” groups, is once again a married man. Only this time, he didn’t marry a woman. He and his partner, Larry McQueen, announced they tied the knot last weekend.

In 1980, Smid left his wife to be with guys, but he had misgivings and tried to go straight again by marrying a second woman and becoming a leading spokesman for conversion therapy. He ran Love In Action, an ex-gay ministry based in Memphis, and sat on the board of Exodus International for 11 years.

In 2011, he went ex-ex-gay, divorcing his second wife and admitting he “never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual.” He apologized for his past actions and launched a new ministry, Grace Rivers, which caters to the gay community.

“I believe that due to my former notoriety, my marriage will definitely have its impact,” he just told Towleroad in an interview.

He says he hopes it will encourage other self-proclaimed “ex-gays” to learn to accept who they are and lead more open and truthful lives.

“I believe it is encouraging for other former ex-gays, and maybe even those who are still trying to hold on to their ex-gay belief system,” he said. “We think our relationship reveals something very normal, not strange or deceptive gay stereotypes. We have come to realize that our marriage is very much the same as your average heterosexual marriage.”

I can say for a fact that my marriage to my husband is pretty much the same as my heterosexual marriage was on a day to day basis.  The only difference, I am not living as an actor on a stage and consumed by self-hate for my inability to "change."  Today, we will have Thanksgiving dinner with friends and one of my daughters and her family - pretty much like straight couples across the country.

Former 'Ex-Gay' Leader Repudiates 'Ex-Gay' Myth

Last year Exodus International, the largest "ex-gay" ministry closed its doors after years of working to perpetuate the myth that sexual orientation was a "choice" and that being gay or lesbian could be "cured."  Concurrent with Exodus' closure, it last president much belatedly admitted that he knew of no one who had ever really changed their sexual orientation.  Needless to say, all of this caused howls and shrieks from the "godly Christian" crowd which has sought to keep the "ex-gay" myth alive for financial profit and the political purpose of opposing gay rights on every front.  Now, another prominent former "ex-gay" leader has joined the list of those admitting that he and others like him worked at perpetuating a lie.  The truth is that rather than throwing away thousands of dollars and undergoing dangerous and discredited therapy, those who suffer from religious brainwashing or who have selfish, self-centered parents would be far better served seeking therapy to overcome their religious brainwashing so as to find peace with how God/nature made them.  The Bilerico Project looks at this lates repudiation of the ex-gay lie.  Here are excerpts (read Smid's entire blog post too):

Former "ex-gay" minister John J. Smid, who left the ministry in 2008 and apologized in 2010, repudiating the "ex-gay" myth in a blog post and embracing homosexuality as a naturally-occurring variation of the human sexual experience.
Read more at http://www.bilerico.com/2014/02/former_ex-gay_leader_repudiates_ex-gay_myth.php#8BIAcWQ7APi2UdWd.99

Former "ex-gay" minister John J. Smid, who left the ministry in 2008 and apologized in 2010, repudiating the "ex-gay" myth in a blog post and embracing homosexuality as a naturally-occurring variation of the human sexual experience. Smid stated:

"The ExGay message of God's deliverance from the homosexual orientation has been destructive! It has created a dangling carrot of change without any real outcome of freedom from homosexuality. The damage has occurred in the subsequent loss of one's soul, or the destruction stemming from serial fleshly encounters that only leave one void and searching for the next one.

"I believe much of my grief today is also from how I played a role in furthering the message of deliverance from homosexuality. I used to teach that hope for their eternity would come when they found freedom. I conveyed a message that God would be more pleased with people who were not gay. I spent a tremendous amount of energy attempting to help men and women find a life of freedom of their natural homosexual desires.

"Today I realize that it is far better to help men and women accept their homosexuality is innate, and an authentic reality. Regardless of where it came from, it is what it is. There is freedom in Christ for someone to hope for intimate connection with anther compatible human being if they so choose to pursue it. For those who are satisfied with a life of singleness, there's a place for them to accept being gay and feel accepted and loved within that life experience. But neither choice can be made until they accept their homosexuality without shame." 

Will this stop the catholic Church, Mormon Church and many others from preaching  and marketing the "ex-gay" lie?  Of course not.  There's too much money involved and it is too central to their efforts to marginalize gays under the law.  And once again we see that no one lies as often or as cynically that conservative Christians.  If their lips are moving, it is almost guaranteed that they are lying.  The larger public needs to fully realize this and give these people absolutely no respect or deference.