One Million Page Views - Thank You

While this blog remains small compared to the blogs of some of my LGBT blogger friends (e.g., Joe Jervis and Andy Towle, Bil Browning who invited me to contribute to The Bilerico Project), a few minutes ago the blog nonetheless reached what to me is a significant benchmark: 1,000,000 page views.  Little did I ever believe when I began this blog that I would continue to blog for as along as I have - it becomes addicting - or that I'd ever experience the type of readership that I have enjoyed from literally all around the world.   

When I first began this blog, I was admittedly in a dark place.  Early readers and LGBT bloggers who I came to know became a cyberspace family and lifeline for me.  I truly question whether or not I would have survived my coming out journey without you.  You know who you are.  I will always be grateful to each of you.

So, again, I want to thank all who have visited this blog, especially repeat readers and my early supporters.  I will continue to try to share my thoughts and information in a way that I hope will be usefully and informative.

New Faces of Hate

I noted yesterday that the number of hate groups has been on the rise, with ten (10) new anti-gay hate groups being registered by the Southern Poverty Law Center which also tracks the KKK, neo-Nazi groups and white supremacy groups. The entire list is here and it includes some names we've seen before who are finally being properly recognized for the anti-gay virulence. It's important to remember that mere statement of religious belief doesn't land one on this list. No, it takes persistent dissemination of lies, knowing using of discredited junk science and the deliberate distribution of anti-gay falsehoods to make the list. Joe Jervis has this to say about these nasty organizations at Joe.My.God:

Among the ten groups added today to the Southern Poverty Law Center's list of 27 anti-gay hate groups are three names that are very familiar to us here on JMG. Eugene Delgaudio (Public Advocate), Randy Thomasson (Save California), and Linda Harvey (Mission America). We can only hope that our relentless coverage of these evil, horrible people had some tiny role in their elevation to the most ignominious list in American culture. Congratulations you three pigs, you're now in the history books alongside the Ku Klux Klan.

The (Gay) Edge of Glory

I first saw this video on Joe Jervis' blog. Then readers sent me the You Tube link as well. It's well done and moving and - to me at least - speaks volumes as to why the haters are so wrong about same sex marriage. Love is love regardless of the gender of the couple involved. We need more love and far, far less hate in this world. Sadly, too many Christians have lost the message of love and now principally market hate and intolerance. Yes, Maggie Gallagher, I do mean you.

A Republican Comes Out of the Closet

There have been all kinds of reactions to Ken Mehlman ending the open secret that he's one of us. Mike Rogers and a number of other folks were onto Mehlman six years ago or more - back when Melhman was working hand in glove with Karl Rove and deliberately using anti-gay hysteria and anti-gay state constitutional initiatives to turn out Christianists and homophobes to re-elect Chimperator Bush so that the nation could endure four more years of his disastrous mis-rule. While the GOP candidates and talking heads try strenuously to change the subject or blame the economy on the Democrats, the truth is that it was the eight year of Bush/GOP rule that set the stage for the economic meltdown that is continuing to harm so many. Mehlman bears responsibility for that in addition to the harm he has done to LGBT Americans. On a personal level, Mehlman harmed me and LGBT other Virginians because it was in the second wave of anti-gay constitutional amendments that Virginia passed its own draconian anti-gay amendment. But for the successful anti-gay ploy in 2004, it's conceivable that Virginia might not have moved forward - actually backwards - with its own attack of gay relationships. I for one do not believe that Mehlman should get away with a mere "I'm sorry." He aided and abetted real harm to countless LGBT Americans and any redemption will need to carry an equally high price. Here's an idea for starters: Obviously, Mehlman likely knows where a lot of bodies are buried amongst the anti-gay set in the GOP and a good first step would a "come to Jesus" moment with them where they either cease and desist their anti-gay agenda or have their secrets splashed across the media. Frankly, I doubt Mehlman will do any such thing - he's still too addicted to money and power. Money and power are the reason he betrayed so many to start with and inside or outside the closet, Mehlman isn't going to change. The New York Times has a column that looks at reactions to Mehlman's coming out. Here are some highlights of views that I share:
*
[H]e [Mehlman] tells Ambinder: “he wants to become an advocate for gay marriage and anticipated that questions would arise about his participation in a late-September fundraiser for the American Foundation for Equal Rights (AFER), the group that supported the legal challenge to California’s ballot initiative against gay marriage, Proposition 8.”
*
Unsurprisingly, for many gay and liberal bloggers, that’s far too little far too late. “While it’s nice that Ken has finally come out of the closet as an advocate, it’s really hard to forgive him for the damage he did to the community by working actively against it for pay for years,” writes Pam Spaulding of Pam’s House Blend. “That he can coast on the gains for our community by supporting AFER’s stellar work on Prop 8 on the backs of many during his tenure at the RNC who bore the brunt of homophobia, those who died as a result of hate crimes, the activists who were assailed professionally is unbelievable.
*
No pity at all from Joe. My. God.: During Ken Mehlman’s reign as Dubya’s campaign manager and afterwards during his tenure as chairman of the Republican National Committee, 21 states passed laws that banned same-sex marriage. Some of these laws made same-sex marriage unconstitutional, some made both civil unions and same-sex marriages unconstitutional. All of these anti-gay referenda took place from 2004-2006 and all of them were pushed by the GOP under Ken Mehlman (and with Karl Rove’s strategic advice) as a ploy to ensure conservative turnout at the polls. If you live in any of the 21 states listed below, you can credit your second class citizenship, in part, to fellow homosexual Ken Mehlman. Are you feeling very forgiving right now? ARE YOU?
*
FireDogLake thinks Mehlman will never be able to wash the blood off of his hands: In spite of the terror his philosophies inflicted on LGBT citizens and in spite of the decades long scare-fest of anti-gay hatred, gay-baiting and discriminatory laws foisted on us, Ken Mehlman wants us to know that his coming out experience has been just peachy. No apology for all the suicides his party’s stances inevitably brought on. No apology for hate crimes. No apology for the election campaign involving some of the worst anti-gay hatred anyone has ever witnessed. No apology for the terror LGB military people have had to endure. No apology for the forced rapes female soldiers went through to “prove” they are straight. He just wants us to know that he’s been through a whole, whole lot and that he’s a very happy and well-adjusted person.
*
I was in the closet for many years. I was even a Republican for many years. The difference is I left the GOP when the Christianists began to seriously take over the party and when the first hint of the coming anti-gay jihad showed itself. Mehlman could have done likewise. He chose not to do so and needs to bear the consequences. Mehlman wants us to be "understanding" even if we cannot forgive him. Personally, I doubt it will be easily forthcoming. The ball really is in Mehlman's court. If he wants forgiveness and understanding, he needs to do something huge - sponsoring a $5,000 per plate fundraiser just doesn't cut it. I for one will not be holding my breath waiting for Mehlman's redemption. He might surprise me, but he strikes me as still too willing to sell his soul for money, power and influence.

"Munchausen-by-Blog Syndrome"

Blogging can open up access to all kinds of wonderful people. It also can be a good form of therapy - perhaps one of the reasons I continue to blog - and blogging allows one to voice their thoughts and feelings with feed back from readers and others. I am pretty open with my identity and if one wanted to do so, they could literally find me in person and confirm that I am who and what I say I am. The business card shown on this blog IS my real business card, for example. Not so with all bloggers it seems. Which is why I on occasion go off on anonymous commentors who post foul comments yet lack the integrity to reveal their identity.

*

All too easily one can create a false persona and imagined existence and gain a following and support from readers that apparently satisfies some weird, messed up psychological issues/needs of the person actually behind the phantom personality that emerges from the blog. Recent events have shown that I like apparently many, many others fell victim to one such false blog and the obviously screwed up author behind it. Like many, I cross linked to Cooper's Corridor and then was an invitee to Nico's Niche. Now I find out that the blogger was a fraud and that much of the material was stolen from another blogger. I guess the moral is to be suspicious and cynical - something I do not like to be - unless and until you confirm the real existence of blog authors. Here are some highlights from Joe My God that disclose the unfolding of the unmasking of "Cooper" who in truth never existed (I thank Joe for the title of this post, btw):

*

Remember Cooper? The firefighter gay dad of two adopted boys who pulled his widely-loved blog after an "attack" of malicious comments and emails from the readers of this blog? Causing me to get extremely bent of out shape and offer Cooper a heartfelt (really) public apology? Over the last few days our little blogosphere has retched forth some unpleasant, uncomfortable revelations about Cooper. The short version:

*

He is not a firefighter.

He is not an adoptive father.

He is not gay.

He is not, in fact, a he.

*

The story began to unfold at Sweet/Salty, the blog of a woman named Kate, a young mother dealing with the death of her infant son. On the day of the supposed attack on Cooper's blog by JMG readers, Kate had emailed him, extremely distressed to have discovered that Cooper had lifted many of her gorgeously written posts verbatim, including photographs of her husband.

*

Upon receipt of Kate's surprisingly kind request to remove her plagiarized material, Cooper deleted his blog and apparently then concocted the JMG attack story to placate his legion of starry-eyed readers, people who avidly followed Cooper's Corridor as a place where they saw their most earnest ideals about gay parenting realized.Shortly afterwards, Cooper's Corridor resumed as Nico's Niche, a private blog where Kate's material continued to appear. Kate found my public apology to Cooper and emailed me about the situation. Knowing that Father Tony has had a longtime internet friendship with Cooper, I put him on the case. What he uncovered may blow your mind.

*

According to the bizarre confession wrangled by Father Tony, Cooper's Corridor/Nico's Niche was written by a woman, a 52-year-old British Columbia grandmother named Jo, who says that ever since she was a little girl she has felt that she is a gay man trapped in a woman's body. Cooper/Nico (Jo claims) was a concoction created in order to deal with her lifelong gender identity disorder. She says she calls her inner gay man "Nicky".

*

Go read Kate's initial angry post, then you absolutely must delve into Father Tony's post, where in addition to publishing Jo's emailed "confession", he muses in his typically artful way about the anonymous nature of the internet and how much we can ever really know about people, even when we think we have an insider's view of their day-to-day lives.

*

Even this post may please the sort of person who engages in what I call "Munchausen-by-blog syndrome", but consider this yet another unhappy lesson about trust, gullibility, and how we as gay people are sometimes overeager to find our heroes.