The Unanswered Question: How Does Gay Marriage Harm Heterosexual Marriage

The great mantra of the Christianists and professional Christians like Maggie Gallagher who make foul prostitutes look virtuous, is that marriage must be "protected" and/or that same sex marriage somehow diminishes straight marriages. Of course, no further explanation is ever provided beyond these convenient sound bites. The answer is, naturally, that there is no rational explanation as to how the boyfriend and I having civil law marriage rights threaten every straight couple's marriage in Virginia. Ultimately, the argument against same sex marriage comes down to one thing and one thing only: religion. Religion and the desire of Christianists to impose their religious beliefs on all of society - in direct contravention of the First Amendment, I might add - and to punish those who refuse to conform for whatever reason. Added to that, I believe, is the unspoken Christianist fear that if the Bible is wrong about homosexuality, the entire artificial house of cards of their religious dogma begins to unravel and collapse. A Middletown, New Jersey columnist ran a column asking the question from opponents of gay marriage to explain how heterosexual marriage would be harmed. Here are highlights from her description of the responses she received:

The question (put to those who say that marriage equality will "make less" of their heterosexual marriage) is, "Okay, what does marriage equality for all citizens of this country/state say about your marriage?"

Two weeks after writing the column I still don’t have an answer. Oh, I heard from many, many people. Interestingly, the majority of people that I heard from were supportive of marriage equality. Yet I heard from dozens who are adamantly against it. Some, who sent their emails directly to my email address choosing not to post on the PATCH site, were not always so nice and occasionally vile.

I was told ...

"The act of homosexuality is an abomination and sin many times over."

"Why do you feel entitled to enjoy the benefits of marriage when you have proclaimed the basis for this marriage is based on being a homosexual? Why should everyone be forced to confer legitimacy on that which is historically against human nature? You are completely free to live your life as you see fit; but don't try and proclaim that everyone must accept your definition of what normal is. Have a really great day, unless you have made other plans!"

"May you know no peace in this life."

"At the end of every speech that an American president makes he says, ‘God Bless the United States of America’. The law of this land is that God rules here and not the deviants who support homosexuality."

"A pox on you and your house!"

"You and all like you will burn in hell for eternity."

Aside from nasty comments and quotes from the Bible, no one ever answered the question. Several supporters of separation of church and state and/or marriage equality did contradict the statement that marriage equality will compromise anyone else’s marriage -

"As far as I can determine, no one has ever come up with a valid reason to oppose same sex marriage. First, all religious arguments are invalid. We have separation of church & state, so what the bible or any other religious document says must not be considered. Religious institutions can make any rules they want for their members, but they cannot affect others, so no one should even bring them up.

"Second, whatever anyone else, gay or straight, does in their marriage has no affect whatever on my marriage. Third, the institution of marriage is under attack by many factors, such as divorce, cohabitation etc. Gay marriage is not one of them.

As I mulled all this over in my mind I thought about some of the things I have heard or seen of late that involve members of the Christian faith.

• I heard a Catholic bishop say, “Heaven help us if gay marriage is approved.”

• I watched the evening news in horror as Christians lined the streets in protest bearing signs and posters that said horrible un-Christian-like things at the funeral of an American soldier who gave his life for his country. The chants include rants that state that this death is God’s punishment for homosexuality. This act has been repeated on several occasions.

• Christian people show up in Trenton to protest the passing of a marriage equality law and many of the accusations shouted at those in favor are cruel and repulsive. Not really ‘Christian behavior’.

Hypocrisy runs rampant.

I echo the columnist's experience. Before I severely restricted the posting comments to this blog, virtually ALL of the nasty, foul and hate-filled comments were ALWAYS from self-professed Christians. Yes, the comments even involved death threats. And on one occasion the electric breaker box for my law office was vandalized (posting my business card on this blog makes me easy to find and the breaker boxes for the office suites are conveniently labeled). Need I ask why I suspect it was a "godly Christian" who decided to vandalize only my breaker box? As noted before, the best argument for walking away from Christianity is the self-professed godly Christians.