Snarling, Catty Gays

One thing I have noted since coming out is how catty some in the GLBT community seem to be. They seem to almost revel in being nasty towards and critical of others. Rather than realizing that we are "all on the same side," some prefer to make personal attacks on others simply because they have led their lives differently or did not come out until later in life. On a local (or national basis) basis it can take the form of an individual or organization attacking other GLBT groups or individuals who seek to advocate in different ways or seek to focus efforts in a narrower focus. In the blogosphere it can be in the form of one GLBT blogger attacking another out of spite, envy or who knows what. A case in point: this evening a blogger friend sent me a link where another blogger from another part of the country had made a personal attack on me. Why? Simply because I had lived part of my life married and in the closet. Even though for years I had not even actually realized I was gay.

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In addition to discussing politics, religion and current events, this blog has always been aimed at discussing coming out in mid-life. From the e-mails I receive from literally every continent, there are many, many of us who came out after years of marriage. I suspect there are even far more still who remain in the closet and struggling to accept themselves and who they are. Perhaps even struggling to make the decision to" come out." The message of this blog is not necessarily aimed at those who have never been in the closet. I give them kudos for those who knew early on who they were. Not all of us were so lucky or self-intuitive.

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For the record, I do not believe in intentionally "outing" anyone unless they are hypocritically advocating or voting for measures that harm the GLBT community. Former Republican Congressman Ed Schrock - whose name was first given to Mike Rogers by me - and similar closeted members of the GOP are one prime example. But those who are out should not be afraid to live openly. Meredith Baxter now that she has come out is an example. It does make a difference despite what some may say.

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Yes, I am relatively new to GLBT activism. But my coming out has not been without cost: forced from a law firm in 2004 for not lying any more of who I am; brutalized by homophobic judges in divorce hearings that ruined me financially; two of my children no longer communicating with me. I feel I have paid my dues. Maybe not as much as some, but not insignificant. Those who don't want to read my thoughts and views - simply don't read this blog.