Having gone through a horrific divorce before a homophobic judge - after one horrible hearing i was so traumatized that I nearly successfully overdosed - and now suffering through post divorce hearings, I know full well the emotional and psychological toll that divorce can take on an individual and how difficult it is to move on with one's life. Now, CNN has a story that indicates that not only is one's emotional and mental health damaged, but so is one's basic health compared to those who have not undergone a divorce.*
Of course, the story does not look at the issue of gays living in the closet and the long term damage that may cause - which I suspect is as bad or worse than the consequences of divorce. Indeed, had I not come out and divorced, I truly do not believe that I would be alive today. I had my suicide all planned out to look like an accident, in fact. Truth be told, living a lie as to who one truly is and never being able to share one's innermost thoughts and feelings is a huge burden.
*In my own case, it caused me to be a very unhappy and self-hating person and a lesser father to my children than I could have been. While, I've been extremely fortunate and found a wonderful partner in the form of the boyfreind, I nonetheless still have moments of sadness and depression over the turmoil I caused my children both while in the closet and in the aftermath of the divorce. There's a true sense of loss even though I know I would not be alive if I had remained closeted. One of the reason I am so outspoken in condemning the "ex-gay" programs is because they help to keep the closet alive and cause untold harm to gays, their straight spouses, and their children and care nothing about the damage the cause. Here are some story highlights:
*
Divorce causes more than bitterness and broken hearts. The trauma of a split can leave long-lasting effects on mental and physical health that remarriage might not repair, according to research released this week. Waite and co-author Mary Elizabeth Hughes, of Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, found that divorced or widowed people have 20 percent more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer than married people. The authors found differences between the overall health of those who remain married and those who divorce.
*
Almost half of all U.S. marriages end in divorce, according to the National Institutes of Health. "Losing a marriage or becoming widowed or divorced is extremely stressful," Waite said. "It's financially, sometimes, ruinous. It's socially extremely difficult. What's interesting is if people have done this and remarried, we still see, in their health, the scars or marks -- the damage that was done by this event."There's no erasure of the effects of divorce," Hayward said. "There is intense stress leading up to divorce, stresses during divorce proceedings. Think of divorce as one of the most intense stressors. It leads to what we call dysregulation [impairment] in key cardiovascular process that may be permanently altered. You're not going back to your original set point."
Divorce causes more than bitterness and broken hearts. The trauma of a split can leave long-lasting effects on mental and physical health that remarriage might not repair, according to research released this week. Waite and co-author Mary Elizabeth Hughes, of Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health, found that divorced or widowed people have 20 percent more chronic health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes or cancer than married people. The authors found differences between the overall health of those who remain married and those who divorce.
*
Almost half of all U.S. marriages end in divorce, according to the National Institutes of Health. "Losing a marriage or becoming widowed or divorced is extremely stressful," Waite said. "It's financially, sometimes, ruinous. It's socially extremely difficult. What's interesting is if people have done this and remarried, we still see, in their health, the scars or marks -- the damage that was done by this event."There's no erasure of the effects of divorce," Hayward said. "There is intense stress leading up to divorce, stresses during divorce proceedings. Think of divorce as one of the most intense stressors. It leads to what we call dysregulation [impairment] in key cardiovascular process that may be permanently altered. You're not going back to your original set point."
*
Both genders suffer irreversible, detrimental effects on their health after losing marriage through a divorce or death of a spouse, according to the findings. Those who did not remarry after a divorce or a spouse's death showed deficits in mental and physical health. Waite called this the "double whammy" because they don't get the protective effects of marriage and have gone through a "damaging, health-destroying experience."
*
People who remarried had better health than those who did not. "If you loved and lost, did you find love again?" Waite said. "The people who did are doing better." But this group overall showed health deficits compared to those who remained married.
Both genders suffer irreversible, detrimental effects on their health after losing marriage through a divorce or death of a spouse, according to the findings. Those who did not remarry after a divorce or a spouse's death showed deficits in mental and physical health. Waite called this the "double whammy" because they don't get the protective effects of marriage and have gone through a "damaging, health-destroying experience."
*
People who remarried had better health than those who did not. "If you loved and lost, did you find love again?" Waite said. "The people who did are doing better." But this group overall showed health deficits compared to those who remained married.
*
Based on these findings, it is interesting that evangelical Christians - particularly in the South - have the highest divorce rates and are usually the most anti-gay. Are they taking their own bitterness out on LGBT Americans?
No comments:
Post a Comment