On Friday I ended up having a debate so to speak with someone who I suspect may have been a former acquaintance in the Republican Party from my closeted past. By the comments the person made I suspect that they are one of the far right, Christian fundamentalist element that has now come to control the GOP and who are unwittingly driving the party towards irrelevance as moderates and non-religious extremists continue to flee the party in droves - may own family is a case in point since it has gone from being nearly 100% Republican to 100% Democrat. We did not change our political views, but the GOP did as it became a de facto party where religious beliefs trump all other concerns. During the course of our exchanges, it became clear that this individual is incapable of letting go of his/her religious indoctrination. It was particularly ironic that I was accused of focusing on everything gay when it is the Christianist who define LGBT Americans by their sexual orientation to the exclusion of all else. Here are some samples of our discourse:*
Anonymous: Why is everything about being gay and didn't you once consider yourself a Republican? Was it ALL an act?
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Michael-in-Norfolk: It's not "all about being gay." However, it is a major issue since as a gay Virginian, I do not have the legal protections that other minorities have, I can be fired at will, I get discriminated against in court as a litigant because I am gay, and my relationship with my life partner gets no legal recognition. Give me and other gays full equality under the civil laws and employment laws and I'd have much less to discuss on this blog.
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In answer to your questions: (1) Having bought into my religious "brainwashing" if you will, trying to be straight was an act of trying to be what church and society told me I was supposed to be. For many years I tried to convince myself that I wasn't really gay even though in my heart I suspect I always knew the truth but just could not accept it. (2) I was a Republican and considered myself as such. But the GOP then and the GOP now are utterly different creatures. I left the GOP as it was being taken over by Christianists who have a goal -in my view - of subverting the U.S. Constitution (and state constitutions as well) to impose an intolerant version of Christianity on all citizens.
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Anonymous: We can all be fired at will. That is part of living in Virginia. What I don't understand is why you are so angry at Christians. As Christians we are taught to love the sinner but hate the sin and the Bible teaches that gay relationships are sin. Can you honestly say that you are happier now than you were when you were married, living with your children and respected in your law practice? I believe that God does not want you to have this lifestyle because He knows how hurtful it is. You sound hurt. You also sound very angry at God. Why do you have to bash people like Randy Forbes? While I dont happen to like him as a person, I do respect what he is doing in Washington and hope that he is successful in his fight to keep dems from removing God from everything. I hope you can find some peace in your heart and pray that God will remove some of the bitterness that you have inside.
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Michael-in-Norfolk: Actually, not all of us can be fired at will in Virginia - at least not if the firing is based on age, race, religion, national origin, marital status, ancestry, or disability. Gays on the other hand are sitting ducks. I am angry at the FALSE Christians who preach hate and division such as Pat Robertson, James Dobson, Tony Perkins, Victoria Cobb, et al. My Lutheran parish for example is very Christian in the correct sense: helping the poor, accepting minorities and gays, feeding the homeless, etc., without constant condemnation of others. I have no complaint with such true Christians.
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Anonymous, the very fact that you use the term "lifestyle" shows that you are clueless and/or religiously brainwashed. Sexual orientation is NOT a lifestyle choice - it's like breathing and is part of what one is. Like it or not I have ALWAYS been gay from my preteen years onward. True, one can try to pretend it's not really true as I did, but you are only fooling yourself and very likely making yourself and those around you miserable. ALL legitimate medical and mental health experts confirm that sexual orientation CANNOT be changed. James Dobson and others who claim one can change are liars - and they know they are liars but do not care because of political and/or monetary reasons.
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Am I happier now? Yes, I am. Finally accepting one's self for who/what you are is beyond price. Moreover, I have a wonderful guy in my life who loves me and loves my children. My children reciprocate the affection with him. In fact, he cares for me more than I suspect my wife ever did.
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The Democrats are not trying to remove God from anything - they are merely opposing the imposition of the Christian Right's God on everyone else be they Jews, Hundu, Muslims, etc.
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Lastly, I am still respected in my law practice and my clients range from Hindu and Muslims to Jehovah's Witnesses. They care about my competence as an attorney, not who I go home to at the end of the day.
*Once I came out of the closet, my name was dragged through the mud in Republican circles in Virginia Beach even though I had done much to help the local party in prior years serving both on City Committee and as a precinct captain among other things. One would have thought that overnight I had become a child molester or something equally heinous jus because I was gay. I am not defined by my sexuality, yet it is people like Anonymous who cannot see beyond the fact that I am gay. And worse yet, that I am OK with it - in fact, I am gay and proud. It's something that is truly beyond their comprehension.
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