Gay Dating - Or Why Are So Many Gay Guys Pigs?

It is a few weeks shy of one (1) year since I had my final altercation with my former long term partner and our relationship ended. After that night, we never lived under the same roof again. During most of the past almost year I have not dated at all other than a few times a month or two ago and that venture did not pan out. I've met one new guy since who seems quite wonderful, yet there are circumstances that raise questions as to whether there's a possible future on that front. Thus, a few times now I have posted a personal ad - which is actual how I met the guy that still might be a possibility - partly out of boredom and partly out of a blind hope/wishful thinking that Prince Charming is out there somewhere just waiting to discover me.

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Perhaps it's because I'm direct by nature or maybe it's the attorney in me. In any event, I am pretty specific in my ad about what I want in a guy - intelligence, stability, honesty, a desire for monogamous commitment - and what I do not want in a guy - smokers, overweight guys, guys with facial hair, guys who would not accept that my children are and always will be a part of my life. I make it clear what I'm looking for because I don't want to waste my time on hopeless endeavors nor do I want to waste someone else's time. Some of the responses I have received are unbelievable, but NOT in a good way. They range from nasty expressions of wanting nasty, kinky anonymous sex to personal attacks on me for being "arrogant" for not wanting just anyone to in one case even foul comments about my children. Am I missing something, or is it wrong to have some standards? Likewise, if I say I want someone height and weight proportionate, am I unreasonable for not being pleased with responses from guys who are borderline obese or worse?

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I truly do not get it. One jerk - the one who made comments about my children - even claimed that people like me (I assume with standards of what they want and who won't sleep with just anybody) "give the gay world a bad name." Funny, I thought it was guys - probably like the respondent - who are promiscuous and have constant random anonymous sex, use drugs, and have no values were the ones that gave us gays a bad image. Silly me. How could I be so confused? The straight world is fucked up in many ways and has its share of promiscuous sluts, but far too many gay guys seem to make those straights look pretty even keeled in comparison. In any event, my a portion of my response to this jerk was as follows:

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If refusing to settle for guys who are (a) slobs who are fat and out of shape, (b) do not care what they look like, (c) promiscuous and have sex with anything breathing, (d) have the IQ of a fruit fly, makes me arrogant, then I'm guilty as charged. . . . . It's guys like YOU that give the gay world a bad name. You're probably pissed that I wouldn't give you the time of day and, I suspect, I'd be right in doing so.

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Okay, my response wasn't very nice, but I sure felt better for it. You can insult me all you want, but take foul shots at my children, then you'd better look out. Meanwhile, I have no intention of "settling." After what I have been through in the coming out process (which has cost me hundreds of thousands of dollars not to mention much heartache and turmoil) I feel I am entitled to pick and choose who I want to have a relationship with. That said, Prince Charming, hurry the Hell up and find me!!