Monday Male Beauty

'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' Report to be Released One Day Earlier

The DADT repeal saga continues to be a circus and candidly I don't know what to expect. Numerous polls show that the vast majority of Americans support repeal, yet our spineless elected members of Congress continue to act as if repeal is radioactive. Indeed, you'd think the polls supported Family Research Council's anti-gay jihad rather than vice versa. I truly don't get what so frightens our members of Congress who seem to be made out of Jell-o. Defense Secretary Gates - who I do not trust whatsoever - has announced that the much awaited report on DADT repeal will be released on November 30th, one day prior to the original release date. Needless to say, DADT repeal would be huge in the Hampton Roads area where there are literally thousands of LGBT members of the military who deserve to be able to serve their country without the constant fear of being outed through some witch hunt. The other huge benefit of repeal id that it would take away one of the Christianists tools in arguing that even the government sees gays as inferior citizens. Here are highlights from the Washington Post on the release of the report:
*
[T]he Defense Department said Sunday that it will release a long-awaited report on the matter earlier than planned because senators are eager to vote on whether to repeal the policy.
*
Defense Secretary Robert M. Gates has ordered the report to be released on Nov. 30, one day earlier than planned, "to support Congress's wish to consider repeal before they adjourn," Pentagon spokesman Geoff Morrell said Sunday. The Senate is slated to vote again on a defense policy bill that includes language that would repeal the "don't ask, don't tell" policy after the Thanksgiving recess.
*
Gates "has instructed his staff, without cutting any corners, to have everything ready a day sooner because he wants to ensure members of the Armed Services Committee are able to read and consider the complex, lengthy report before holding hearings with its authors and the Joint Chiefs of Staff," Morrell said in a statement.
*
The report is expected to conclude that the military can lift the ban on gays serving openly in uniform with only minimal and isolated incidents of risk to the current war efforts, according to sources who shared details of the report with The Washington Post.
*
The report will cite a survey of active-duty and reserve troops that found that more than 70 percent of respondents said the effect of lifting the ban would be positive, mixed or nonexistent, sources said.

Would Be RNC Chair Tied to Hate Group

In yet another example of just how extreme the Republican Party has become, it now appears that Saul Anuzis (pictured at left with Bristow on the left), the former chair of the Michigan Republican Party, who wants to replace Michael Steele as RNC Chair has some dirty laundry of the extremist type: he previously endorsed a right-wing extremist who engaged in homophobic and racist activities. One should not be surprised since, moderates have fled the GOP in droves as the Christianists and worse elements of the Tea Party have surged in their influence on the party. Anuzis' BFF is Kyle Bristow, the former head of the Michigan State University chapter of Young Americans for Freedom, registered as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Here are some highlights from The Advocate:
*
[T]he Southern Poverty Law Center this week revealed that Anuzis, a front runner for the RNC post, had defended and endorsed Kyle Bristow, the former head of the Michigan State University chapter of Young Americans for Freedom. His support came after SPLC designated MSU-YAF as a hate group in 2006.
*
“Throughout the ‘years’ Anuzis professes to have know him, Bristow and MSU-YAF have engaged in a series of disturbing racist and homophobic activities,” reports ThinkProgress. “MSU-YAF staged events like ‘Catch an Illegal Immigrant Day,’ held a ‘Koran Desecration’ competition, jokingly threatened to distribute smallpox-infested blankets to Native American students, and posted ‘Gays Spread AIDS’ fliers across campus. Bristow is on record saying ‘Homosexuality kills people almost to a degree worse than cigarettes,’ adding, ‘these [pro-gay rights] groups are complicit with murder.’ He also invited Holocaust denier Nick Griffin, who is the leader of the whites-only British National Party, to give a speech at the Holocaust Memorial Center in Farmington Hills, MI.”
*
[I]n May 2007, Anuzis said, “This is exactly the type of young kid we want out there. I’ve known Kyle for years and I can tell you I have never heard him say a racist or bigoted or sexist thing, ever.”

More Sunday Male Beauty

Gay Relationships: The Abusive Partner

I frequently get contacted by closeted gays who are married to women and/or in the coming out process who seek advice. I feel at times it's a case of the blind leading the blind for me to give such individuals advice, especially since so much of a coming out journey is specific to one's own circumstances. I also hear at times from those in relationships that clearly are not working - especially if physical violence is involved. I recently received such an inquiry and thought it would be of possible help to re-post something I wrote over two and a half years ago while I was single and myself recovery from an abusive relationship that had ultimately escalated to physical violence. For what it's worth, here's a post from March 2008 which still contains what I believe is thought provoking advice:
*
Thanks to a heads up by my friend Vanyel over at If You Could Read My Mind, I saw an great post over at GayTwogether looking at abusive same sex relationships. The information is both on point and something that gays need to be aware of. Abuse in relationships is not limited to straight men abusing their wives. It happens in our community too - I know from personal experience - and is not something that can ever be excused. No one should have to live in fear and if that is a major aspect of your relationship, the only safe thing to do is end it. It will not be easy, but you deserve better and truly have no other choice. I recommend a read of the full post, but here are some highlights: *
No one deserves to be abused! Abuse can be physical, sexual, emotional, psychological, and involve verbal behavior used to coerce, threaten or humiliate. The purpose of the abuse is to maintain control and power over one's partner. The abused partner feels alone, isolated and afraid, and is usually convinced that the abuse is somehow his fault, or could have been avoided if he knew what to do.
*
ABUSE INCLUDES BUT IS NOT LIMITED TO:

Physical Abuse - hitting; choking; slapping; burning; shoving; using a weapon; physically restraining; intentional interference with basic needs (e.g. food, medicine, sleep)
*
Isolation: Restricting Freedom - controlling contacts with friends and family, access to information and participation in groups or organizations; locking up in a room / restricting mobility; monitoring telephone calls
*
Psychological & Emotional Abuse - constantly criticizing, ridiculing (self, family, friends, past); trying to humiliate or degrade; lying; undermining self-esteem; misleading someone about the norms and values of the gay/lesbian communities in order to control or exploit them

Stalking / Harassing Behavior - following; turning up at workplace or house; parking outside; repeated phone calls or mail to victim and/or family, friends, colleagues
*
Threats & Intimidation - threatening to harm partner, self or others (children, family, friends, pets); threatening to make reports to authorities that jeopardize child custody, immigration or legal status; threatening to disclose HIV status, threatening to reveal sexual orientation to family, friends, neighbors, and/or employers
*
Economic Abuse - controlling or stealing money; fostering dependency; making financial decisions without asking or telling partner
*
Sexual Abuse/Harassment - forcing sex or specific acts, pressuring into unwanted sexual behavior, criticizing performance.

*
ASPECTS OF ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS:

*
Abuse is always the responsibility of the abuser and is always a choice.
*
Victims are often blamed for the abuse by partners, and sometimes even family, friends and professionals can excuse or minimize the abusive behavior.
*
It is difficult for victims to leave abusive relationships.
*
Abuse is not an acceptable or healthy way to solve difficulties in relationships, regardless of orientation.
*
Victims feels responsible for their partner's violence and their partner's emotional state, hoping to prevent further violence.
*
Abuse usually worsens over time.
*
The abuser is often apologetic after abusing, giving false hope that the abuse will stop.
*
Some or all of the following effects of abuse may be present: shame, self-blame, physical injuries, short and long-term health problems, sleep disturbances, constantly on guard, social withdrawal, lack of confidence, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, feelings of hopelessness, shock, and dissociative states.
*
WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE BEING ABUSED:
*
Recognize that you are not responsible for the abuse.
*
Recognize that violence/abuse is not likely to stop on its own - episodes of violence usually become more frequent and more severe.
*
It is important to break the silence. Try to tell someone who will believe you.
*
Seek professional help from a qualified counselor who is knowledgeable about partner abuse and is gay positive. A gay male counselor with the above qualities may help you address the pertinent issues of abuse with more comfort and focus.
*
Only you can decide what to do about your relationship - whether to stay or leave is your decision. However, it is important to develop a safety plan in case your safety is in jeopardy such as:
*
A safe place to stay; emergency phone numbers; some money; your own bank account; post office box; and bag of essentials.
*
WHAT TO DO IT YOU'RE THE ABUSER:
*
Stop being abusive. Stop using abuse of any form (physical, sexual, verbal or emotional), including threats and intimidation.
*
Accept responsibility for your behavior. Remember that the use of violence in any form is always a choice that you make.
*
Do not make excuses for your violence or blame your partner for your abusive behavior.
*
Recognize that assaultive behavior is unacceptable and is a criminal act.
*
Seek professional help from a qualified counselor who is knowledgeable about partner abuse and is gay positive. A gay male counselor may help you address the pertinent issues of abuse with more comfort and focus.
*
Alcohol, drug use or mental health problems are not excuses for abusive behavior. Seek appropriate help for these problems.
*

Pacific Pride Foundation has more information here.

Former Catholic Theologian Says Much of the Priesthood is Gay

Self-loathing closet cases are a menace both to themselves and to the larger LGBT population as many of the closet cases - I would suggest Peter LaBarbera, Robert Knight, Matt Barber as examples among the professional Christian set - transfer their own self-hatred to gays who have accepted their God given sexuality. No place does this seem more the case than amongst the Roman Catholic priesthood where I suspect many gays took refuge so that they could attempt to avoid expectations of marriage and perhaps try to pray away their same sex attractions. Ultimately, the attempt doesn't work as planned and great efforts are made to denigrate those who have accepted what these in some ways pitiful men refuse to accept within themselves. In my view, one is not hysterically anti-gay unless something more is going on with the individual. This holds for politicians (like former Congressman Ed Schrock), professional Christians and the Catholic Church (and probably Mormon Church) hierarchy. A German former Catholic theologian has a new book out that seems to validate my thoughts on this behavior. Here are highlights from The Localde:
*
Theologian David Berger, was correspondent professor for the Pontifical Academy of St Thomas Aquinas in the Vatican, where he said his academic work was watched and censored where it concerned homosexuality.
*
As a gay man himself, he told Der Spiegel in an interview that living among the Catholic homophobia was a nightmare. “It must be acknowledged that a large number of Catholic clerics and trainee priests in Europe and the United States are homosexually-inclined,” he said.
*
“The worst homophobia in the Catholic Church comes from homophile priests, who are desperately fighting their own sexuality,” he said. “Obviously, those who follow their urges are repudiated more fiercely when one is so painfully repressing that disposition oneself.”
*
Now working as a teacher in Cologne, Berger outed himself as gay this April after the Bishop of Essen Franz-Josepf Overbeck described homosexuality as perverse and a sin during an appearance on a television chat show. Berger’s book about his experiences within the Church The holy illusion – a gay theologian in the Catholic Church which is published this week.

Sunday Male Beauty

What's Wrong with the U. S. Marine Corps?

Apparently the new Marine Corps slogan should be "The Few, The Proud, The Bigoted" given that military branch's hang ups over gays in the military. Is the problem a question of leadership or some kind of macho psychosis that can't deal with the fact that gays can be as tough and manly as any straight guy? Living in this heavily military area, I've seen my share of gay Marines and none of them fit the effeminate male stereotype that our detractors like to project on gays as a class. Tammy S. Schultz, director of national security and joint warfare at the U.S. Marine Corps War College, has an op-ed in the Washington Post that challenges the Marine Corps leadership on its tolerance - if not nurturing - of homophobia. As I have said before, the Liar-in-Chief nominated a known homophobe as the new Commandant of the Corps, so responsibility for this phenomenon flows directly to the White House. Here are highlights from the op-ed:
*
But there's one part of the military where resistance [to DADT repeal] is greater than in any other: the United States Marine Corps.
*
That is clear from early reports about a survey sent to 400,000 active duty and reserve service members on "don't ask, don't tell" that will be officially released next month. More than 70 percent of respondents, spanning all branches of the military, said the effect of repealing the prohibition on openly gay troops would be positive, mixed or nonexistent. But about 40 percent of the Marine Corps respondents expressed concern about lifting the ban.
*
What is it about the Marines? Compared with the other services, why do a disproportionate number of them overtly resist ending "don't ask, don't tell"?
*
In the Corps, the creed that "every Marine is a rifleman" means that no matter the Marine's specialty, he or she is ready to fight. Marines do battle where the stakes are high and the quarters close. Although they have individual specialties, they all have infantry in their blood. As a rule, ground pounders are more conservative, resistant to change and likely to uphold tradition. This equates to a fear of the unknown - in this case, serving in combat with an openly gay Marine.
*
[F]or some . . . the notion of a gay Marine seems almost impossible, as though this most masculine and punishing service simply isn't for gay people. You don't need to spend time with Marines, as I have, to realize how important the warrior ethos is to them.
*
In the Marines, anything that seems to contradict or challenge that warrior culture is treated like a foreign particle entering a body's immune system - it is rejected. This visceral reaction will not change if we dismiss those who value these traditions.
*
I have researched the implications of repealing the law, willing to land wherever the facts led me. The argument that we can't repeal the policy because it would impair troops on the ground from carrying out their missions is specious; the opposition to the policy on practical or logistical grounds is surmountable.
*
The values of honor, courage and commitment are inseparable from the Marines. By definition, gay and lesbian Marines break one or more of these core tenets every time they have to hide or lie about who they are. Eventually, gay Marines must out themselves by upholdingCorps values, or continue compromising the very values that make them Marines.
*
The examples from other countries where homosexuals are allowed to serve suggest that many will go about their lives as normal, but without the fear of being discharged if discovered. The key to reconciling Marine culture with the open service of gay men and women will not be found among the rank and file or even among closeted service members; it must come from Corps leaders. Most research on how to integrate minority groups into the military has a common thread: the utmost importance of leadership to the process.
*
How the change affects the Marines is up to the leadership. A Marine officer once told me that, besides all Marines being riflemen and riflewomen, what sets them apart is discipline: "If the law changes," he said, "we will comply with the law. You can take that to the bank." I believe he's right.
*
The Corps' motto, "semper fidelis," means "always faithful." There is no qualifier for sexual orientation. Once a Marine, always a Marine.
*
Again I ask, WTF was Obama doing when he deliberately appointed a homophobe to head up the Corps?

Sarah Palin and the GOP's Growing Embrace of Ignorance

Sarah Palin displays less intellectual curiosity than the average household pet, yet somehow in today's Republican Party Palin's ignorance - not to mention pathological lying - is now obstacle to adulation by the party's increasingly racist and religious extremist base. It's a frightening trend and one can only wonder what the phenomenon is doing to the USA's image around the world. Compared to Palin, Chimperator Bush looks like a genius. Anger over the bad condition of the economy doesn't explain the troubling phenomenon. Instead, Palin seems to have tapped into the reservoir on bigotry and hatred bottled up in those who don't want change from a white and conservative Christian dominated nation which, like it or not, is not going to stop no matter how many illegal immigrants are deported or how long LGBT Americans are treated like second or third class citizens. In the New York Times Frank Rich looks at the Palin phenomenon which to me is like a cancer that needs to be excised from the national mind set. Here ares some highlights:
*
[L]ogic doesn’t apply to Palin. What might bring down other politicians only seems to make her stronger: the malapropisms and gaffes, the cut-and-run half-term governorship, family scandals, shameless lying and rapacious self-merchandising. In an angry time when America’s experts and elites all seem to have failed, her amateurism and liabilities are badges of honor. She has turned fallibility into a formula for success.
*
Republican leaders who want to stop her, and they are legion, are utterly baffled about how to do so. Democrats, who gloat that she’s the Republicans’ problem, may be humoring themselves. When Palin told Barbara Walters last week that she believed she could beat Barack Obama in 2012, it wasn’t an idle boast. Should Michael Bloomberg decide to spend billions on a quixotic run as a third-party spoiler, all bets on Obama are off.
*
In the post-midterms Gallup poll she hit her all-time high unfavorable rating (52 percent), but in the G.O.P. her favorable rating is an awesome 80 percent, virtually unchanged from her standing at the end of 2008 (83 percent). She can keep floating above the pack indefinitely as the celebrity star of a full-time reality show where she gets to call all the shots.
*
Sarah Palin's Alaska . . . is in fact completely political — an eight-week infomercial that, miraculously enough, is paying the personality it promotes (a reported $250,000 a week) rather than charging her. The show’s sole political mission is to maintain the fervor and loyalty of the G.O.P. base, not to win over Palin’s detractors.
*
The whole package is a calculated paean to her down-home, self-reliant frontiersiness — an extravagant high-def remake of Bush’s photo ops clearing brush at his “ranch” in Crawford, which in turn were an homage to Ronald Reagan’s old horseback photo ops in his lush cowpoke digs in Santa Barbara.
*
With Murdoch, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity on her side, Palin hardly needs the grandees of the so-called Republican establishment. They know it and flail at her constantly. Politico reported just before Election Day that unnamed “party elders” were nearly united in wanting to stop her, out of fear that she’d win the nomination and then be crushed by Obama.
*
As Palin has refused to heed these patrician Republicans, some of them have gotten so testy they sound like Democrats. Peggy Noonan called her a “nincompoop” last month, and Susan Collins, the senator from Maine, dismissed her as a “celebrity commentator.” Rove tut-tutted Palin’s TLC show for undermining her aspirations to “gravitas.” These insults just play into Palin’s hands, burnishing her image as an exemplar of the “real America” battling the snooty powers-that-be. To serve as an Andrew Jackson or perhaps George Wallace for the 21st century, the last thing she wants or needs is gravitas.
*
It’s anti-elitism that most defines angry populism in this moment, and, as David Frum, another Bush alumnus (and Palin critic), has pointed out, populist rage on the right is aimed at the educated, not the wealthy. The Bushies and Noonans and dwindling retro-moderate Republicans are no less loathed by Palinistas and their Tea Party fellow travelers than is Obama’s Ivy League White House. When Palin mocks her G.O.P. establishment critics as tortured, paranoid, sleazy and a “good-old-boys club,” she pays no penalty for doing so. The more condescending the attacks on her, the more she thrives.
*
Revealingly, Sarah Palin’s potential rivals for the 2012 nomination have not joined the party establishment in publicly criticizing her. They are afraid of crossing Palin and the 80 percent of the party that admires her.
*
Sooner or later Palin’s opponents will instead have to man up — as Palin might say — and actually summon the courage to take her on mano-a-maverick in broad daylight. Short of that, there’s little reason to believe now that she cannot dance to the top of the Republican ticket when and if she wants to.

UN General Assembly Votes To Allow Gays To Be Executed Without Cause

In a vote that makes a mockery of the concept of human rights, the United Nations General Assembly voted to voted to removed “sexual orientation” from a resolution that protects people from arbitrary executions. Driving the anti-gay vote were the majority of African, Middle East and Caribbean nations. For LGBT individuals around the world, in my view, we (and our straight allies) need to (1) demand that our home countries cut off ALL foreign aid to anti-gay nations, (2) boycott all travel to such nations - Caribbean nations of The Bahamas and Jamaica could be particularly vulnerable to travel boycotts - and (3) avoid purchasing any products derived from them to the maximum extent practicable. In the case of Africa, we also need to spotlight the anti-gay hatred being fueled by Christianist organizations from the West - including the Roman Catholic Church. Religion has truly become a leading force for evil in the world today. The stigma needs to become not one aimed at LGBT individuals, but rather those individuals, nations and religious organizations that fuel anti-gay bigotry and hatred. The NewCivilRightsMovemement.com has details. Here are highlights:
*
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people were once again subject to the whims of homophobia and religious and cultural extremism this week, thanks to a United Nations vote that removed “sexual orientation” from a resolution that protects people from arbitrary executions. In other words, the UN General Assembly this week voted to allow LGBT people to be executed without cause.
*
The U.K. gay rights and human rights campaigner Peter Tatchell said, “This is a shameful day in United Nations history. It gives a de facto green light to the on-going murder of LGBT people by homophobic regimes, death squads and vigilantes. They will take comfort from the fact that the UN does not endorse the protection of LGBT people against hate-motivated murder. “The UN vote is in direct defiance of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which guarantees equal treatment, non-discrimination and the right to life. What is the point of the UN if it refuses to uphold its own humanitarian values and declarations?
*
“This vote is partly the result of a disturbing homophobic alliance between mostly African and Arab states, often inspired by religious fundamentalism. LGBT people in these countries frequently suffer severe persecution.”
*
Bromley expressed great disappointment in losing all the Southern African countries on the vote, including Angola, Botswana, Mozambique, Nambia and South Africa, the latter, whose domestic laws and record on LGBT civil rights have held great regard throughout the world.
*
Another region that unanimously supported the removal of sexual orientation from the resolution were the Carribean nations. Most noteworthy was the support from the Bahamas, Cuba, Haiti and Jamaica.
*
Middle East countries that principally observe the Muslim religion and its practices, as well as countries whose politics are dominated by Christian fundamentalists, generally oppose LGBT and women’s rights at the UN. Even the United States has yet to ratify the Convention on the Elimination of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW). Indeed, CEDAW has the most “reservations” filed by the most member states of any international human rights convention on record.
*
We need to make anti-gay bigotry have a real monetary price. For those who would like to voice their disappointment, here are e-mail addresses for The Bahamas, South Africa, and Jamaica tourism ministries. Tell these outlets that you and all your friends will be making a point to make their nations travel pariahs.
*
Jamaica: USA: info@visitjamaica-usa.com (1-800-526-2422); Canada: jtb@visitjamaica-ca.com, (800) 465-2624; Europe: (London) mail@visitjamaica.uk.com, (44) 207-225-9090; (Germany) jamaica@travelmarketing.de, 49 (0) 2104 832974,
*
The Bahamas: tourism@bahamas.com, 1-800-Bahamas
*
South Africa - Ministry head: +27 83 778 9923 Email: raucamp@tourism.gov.za; Director of Communications: 082 771 6729 Email:
tbloem@tourism.gov.za