Why Blog

As you can see if you read this blog, I write it more for a means of expressing myself and talking about my experience and my passion for gay rights than anything else. As my shirt indicates in the above photo, I do want to create change for gays in America.

In addition, I'd like to write a book someday about the whole experience of being in the closet for 37 years, having three kids, and then coming out and living more or less openly gay. The idea would be: here's my experience and what to do and not to do. In this country, there are so many closeted guys that did what I did - tried to be what everyone expected, rather than be me. I very much long for the day when being gay is a complete non-issue. If anyone has thoughts and comments, I'd love to hear them.

Why Is Love So Frightening?

With all the hate and lies that the “Christian” Right wingnuts are spewing against gays, I have to wonder what is so very frightening about two guys in love as shown in the photo above? To me, the photo is beautiful – the exact opposite of what our enemies proclaim.

Nazi Anti-Jew Speech vs. Christian Right Hate Speech

The New Republic piece at http://www.tnr.com/blog/theplank?pid=104993 correctly identifies the real reason wingnut Theocrats want the Hate Crimes Act vetoed. The referenced National Review piece clearly shows that the goal is to have the civil laws controlled by one group’s religious beliefs:

“ . . . I am hesitant to support hate crimes legislation, for the usual libertarian, "thought crimes" reasons, but the arguments being presented against it by the religious right are indeed specious. But there's something fishy in the National Review editorial on the matter--which Brad also links to--and this phrase stuck out: "We want to deter and punish crimes against blacks, women, homosexuals, and everyone else. But we do not want to open the door to legal punishment for harboring incorrect thoughts about controversial issues especially when those incorrect thoughts are part of the historic teaching of our major religions." Presumably, National Review does not mean to imply that there are "historic teaching[s] of our major religions" against blacks and women. What the editors mean is gays.

And what are those "incorrect thoughts" that the bill is criminalizing? Not traditionally religious thoughts about homosexuality; these are protected. (After all, there are plenty of people in this country who find homosexuality immoral and don't lynch homosexuals.) The bill only punishes people whose thoughts about homosexuality veer from mere disapproval to the belief that violence is a suitable recourse. National Review is conflating a passive disapproval of homosexuality with the violent reaction to it. Of course, the Old Testament, the Koran and other religious works--as fundamentalists anywhere ought to admit--do call for outright violence against homosexuals.”

The James Dobsons and Tony Perkins of the world do want outright violence against homosexuals (their favorite bogus expert, Paul Cameron, has even suggested exterminating gays as far back as 1983), but know saying so outright would reveal the true hate-based nature of their agenda. A good review of their agenda can be found at http://www.hatecrime.org/subpages/hitler/hitler.html. These vicious individuals are two of the power brokers of today’s GOP. This is down right frightening.

Letter to a GOP Congessman

The Hate Crimes Act passed by the House and facing a veto threat by Chimperor Bush continues to hang in my mind. In my former straight/closeted life, I was involved in the GOP, resigning after the wingnut Theocrats took over the party locally and nationally. As a result, I still know many GOP elected officials, most of whom act as if I am a leper now that they know that I (1) am gay, (2) usually work for their Democrat opponents, and (3) oppose the efforts of their wingnut base to impose a theocratic government on all citizens. I also suspect that a number hold a grudge for me warning them about rumors in the gay community concerning former Congressman Ed Schrock many months before he was “outed,” by tapes of his Mega Phone ads seeking gay sex that were reportedly recorded by a prominent Norfolk woman (Virginia's current Attorney General was among those I warned some eight months before Schrock's outing). Only one has been gracious enough to apologize to me for their less than kind words to me at the time.

With this back ground, I could not help but write a GOP Congressman about their vote against the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act (fortunately, my current Congressman is a Democrat and voted in favor of the Act). Here’s the text of my letter:

You have known me for a long time. I was disappointed to see that you voted against the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act. As a gay, tax paying citizen, I believe that I am entitled to the same protection afforded under the current Hate Crimes Law that protects against hate crimes based on, among other things, religion. Until you have experienced it, you cannot know what it’s like to be mocked, physically threatened and fearful for your safety for being a “faggot.”

Unfortunately, I have had the experience. Worse yet, those who abused me and threaten me in this manner were Norfolk police officers and I was less than 10 blocks from my home. Filing an Internal Affairs complaint, etc., yielded no results and the officers involved are still out on the Norfolk streets. (Based on my experience, in my view, Internal Affairs works to protect the police and not the public.) Had I had protections under a federal statute, perhaps things might have been different.

If your argument is that you oppose all hate crimes laws, then please introduce a bill to repeal the existing federal statute – and watch the bigots of the “Christian” Right go ballistic. They want protections for themselves, but not other citizens who do not share their religious views. Therefore, I urge you to take away their “special rights.” Otherwise, please rethink your vote and support the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act if it comes back before the House of Representatives.

It will be interesting to see if I get any response. I am not going to hold my breath.

Cute Guy

My posts today have all been of a pretty serious note, so I thought I'd lighten the mood a bit with a post a photo of a cute guy. :)

Two Gay Executives Tell Their Stories

One of the blogs I link to is "The Gay Banker," written by a guy in London. In the wake of the Lord Browne resignation from BP, which I posted about previously, the Guardian did an article. The author of the Gay Banker is one of the executives in the Guardian article responding about his life as a gay executive. Here's the link to the Guardian article, that is quite interesting:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,2070983,00.html

Sadly, Norfolk, Virginia is light years behind London in its acceptance of gays, much less gay executives and attorneys, although with HRBOR we hope to eventually change this mindset.

Bush Threatens Hate Crimes Law Veto

The White House has issued a threat to veto the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Act if it is enacted by Congress. The press release sounds as if it were dictated by James Dobson and Tony “Klu Klux” Perkins. What makes the situation all the more abhorrent is that this President, who has subverted the U. S. Constitution probably more than any President in history, cites possible constitutional questions as part of his justification. Let’s get real. The real reason for the veto threat is that the far right wingnuts who are the last portion of the American public to support Bush/Cheney are demanding it. These people are truly horrible!!!!!!!!!!! Here’s the disingenuous White House statement and related commentary with my comments in italics:

"The Administration favors strong criminal penalties for violent crime, including crime based on personal characteristics, such as race, color, religion, or national origin unless Daddy Dobson says it’s OK.

"However, the Administration believes that H.R. 1592 is unnecessary and constitutionally questionable, even more so than my signing statements and other violations of the law."
The White House statement said that state and local criminal laws already provide penalties for the crimes defined by the bill and "there has been no persuasive demonstration of any need to federalize such a potentially large range of violent crime enforcement, even though the number of hate crimes is up all around the country."

On the issue of constitutionality the White House statement said terms of the bill could be enforced only "if done in the implementation of a power granted to the Federal government, such as the power to protect Federal personnel, to regulate interstate commerce, or to enforce equal protection of the laws. [The legislation] is not by its terms limited to the exercise of such a power, and it is not at all clear that sufficient factual or legal grounds exist to uphold this provision." Again, when has the law stopped Bush/Cheney, who think the Geneva Conventions are not applicable to them. What absolute hypocrites.

Hates Group and the Christian Right

There are two important posts I saw today – the first is on AmericaBlog and addresses the mainstream media’s horrendous failure to expose the real nature of the leading “Christian” anti-gay organizations that oppose any rights for gays and amended hate crime legislation that would provide equal protection for all groups (Note: religion is already a protected class under existing hate crime law). As others have pointed out, Tony Perkins at Family Research Council has former ties to Klan leader, David Duke, yet this fact is never mentioned when Perkins is given a platform by the main stream media. Here is the complete post from AmericaBlog (http://americablog.blogspot.com/).

ABC News: Hate groups on the rise in America. Then why are the lead religious right groups promoting a well-known hate group? by makeprofilelink("John Aravosis (DC)"); John Aravosis (DC) · 5/02/2007 07:04:00 PM ETDiscuss this post here: Comment myCount('2708010949725980586'); s (129) · digg it · reddit · FARK · · Link

It's time the media asked the American Family Association, the Family Research Council, and the Concerned Women for America why they are promoting a known "hate group" on their Web sites.Who says they are promoting a known hate group? Why, none of than the same expert on American hate groups just interviewed on ABC's World New Tonight: the Southern Poverty Law Center. ABC reports that the number of hate groups has risen 40% since the year 2000. One of those hate groups, as documented by the Southern Poverty Law Center, is Paul Cameron's "Family Research Institute." Cameron's specialty is concocting phony "science" that dehumanizes gays. Cameron has discussed the extermination of all gay people. The Southern Poverty Law Center lists Cameron's Family Research Institute alongside the neo-Nazis and the Klan - that's how bad he is.

So with hate groups on the rise in America, why are 3 of the top 4 religious right organizations in America - the American Family Association, the Family Research Council, and the Concerned Women for America - promoting Cameron and his research on their Web sites as I write this? They are promoting a known hate groups that has been likened to the Klan and neo-Nazis. The Southern Poverty Law Center says that "Cameron's 'science' echoes Nazi Germany." America's lead religious right organizations are using their Web sites to promote "science" that "echoes Nazi Germany." Think about that. And these aren't fringe groups. These are THE groups - the people who meet with George Bush, who pull the Republicans' strings in Congress. They aren't the fringe of the religious right - they ARE the religious right.How in God's name are these organizations quoted by American media, welcomed into the offices of Republicans in Congress, and invited to meet with George Bush's White House staff when they cavort with hate?And why do the American Family Association, the Family Research Council, and the Concerned Women for America continue to promote on their very public Web sites the Nazi science of a known "hate group"? Is their hatred for gay Americans so great that they would promote the work of a group akin to the Klan?You can read much more about this, including links to all the original sources I cite above,

here. Rest assured we will continue to document how long the religious right leaders continue to promote this known hate group. It's a fact that every member of Congress should discuss during their floor speeches about the hate crimes bill tomorrow in the House. These are the faces of the people who oppose the hate crimes bill. These are the faces of hate enablers. It makes me sick as a Christian that these extremists claim to speak for me.

The second posting comes from Ex-gay Watch and discusses the fact that NARTH, one of the leading “expert” groups on “curing” gays continues to cite false research by Paul Cameron, whose organization has been identified as a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center. Why does the main stream media continue to allow these bigots to go on their merry wat spreading lies and untruths? Here’s the Ex-Gay Watch posting (http://www.exgaywatch.com/wp/).

NARTH Web Site Promotes Discredited ‘Research’ of Paul Cameron
Posted on April 30th, 2007 by Jim Burroway
Last week, we saw that Exodus was still promoting Paul Cameron’s junk science. Even though this wasn’t the first time an Ex-Gay Watch author raised this issue, last week’s post prompt some remarkably swift corrective actions from Exodus president Alan Chambers. In a commendable act of transparency, Exodus’s FAQ on life expectancy was replaced with this statement: “This article has been removed due to the inaccuracies surrounding the research of Paul Cameron.”

Now it’s time to turn our attention to NARTH. A quick search of NARTH’s web site reveals that they have been just as willing to promote Cameron’s so-called “research.”

For our first example, NARTH member Ross Olson sent a letter to the Pediatric Annals, a letter that was

published on NARTH’s web site (I don’t know if that letter was ever published by Pediatric Annals). In that letter, Olson criticizes an article that described a thirteen-year-old transgender MTF. Because the original article described the teen’s sexual activities, Olson jumped to the conclusion that the teen was being sexually abused, and that allowed him to bring up the familiar charge that ties homosexuality to pedophilia. For support, he cited Cameron’s “research” as though it has been presented in a professional journal. Here’s the screen-shot of that paragraph:

This citation is one of the more amazing ones I’ve ever seen. The Journal of the Family Research Institute? It doesn’t exist, at least not as Olsen implies. The link actually goes to a quasi-monthly newsletter that Cameron published for several years called the Family Research Report (hence the “FRR” in the URL). It’s not a journal by any stretch of the term, let alone a peer-reviewed one. Maybe Dr. Olson aspires to be the Dr. Cameron of pediatrics.

But the worst offense has to be an article by Christopher H. Rosik that appeared in the Journal of Pastoral Care. The article carries the ironic title, “Conversion Therapy Revisited: Parameters And Rationale For Ethical Care.” Ironic, because he deploys a number of unethical distortions to provide rationale for a supposedly ethical care. The article, which purports to be a wide-ranging review of gay sexual practices, follows many of the common practices authors use to write lesser anti-gay tracts. Rosik cites Cameron’s discredited “obituary study,” the same study that Exodus cited without attribution on their FAQ.

Rosik also cites Cameron’s “randomly sampled 5,182 adults” to claim that incestuous sexual relationships during childhood were disproportionately reported by homosexual respondents.” But that so-called “random” survey was riddled with problems, including an abysmally low response rate (about 23%), biased questions and puzzling results among the heterosexual population (for example, 52% of straight men have shoplifted; 12% committed murder or attempted murder.)

When Cameron’s work was publicly brought to Exodus’ attention a second time they finally did something about it. Exodus removed the discredited content and left a public note about the problem for all to see. Will NARTH show the same integrity as Exodus and publicly acknowledge their error? Or will they fall back to their familiar patterns of behavior we saw last year by defending the indefensible and denying responsibility for the content of their own web site before finally eliminating these embarrassments and pretending they never existed?

These organizations truly sicken me. How many lives have they destroyed or seriously harmed? Why are serious journalist afraid to take on these liars and false Christians, expose them, and destroy their political influence/control of the GOP?

JAMES DOBSON - THE FACE OF HATE AND UNTRUTH

James Dobson’s top ten (and knowingly false) reasons for opposing “gay marriage,” with my responses:

1. The legalization of homosexual marriage will quickly destroy the traditional family. Noting evidence from Scandinavian countries where the existence of homosexual “marriage” destroys real marriage, Dobson cites three reasons “gay marriage” will undermine the family: “First, when the State sanctions homosexual relationships and gives them its blessing, the younger generation becomes confused about sexual identity and quickly loses its understanding of lifelong commitments, emotional bonding, sexual purity, the role of children in a family, and from a spiritual perspective, the ‘sanctity’ of marriage. Second, the introduction of legalized gay ‘marriages’ will lead inexorably to polygamy and other alternatives to one man/one woman unions. …
ACTUALLY, LEGITIMATE RESEARCH HAS SHOWN THAT, CONTRARY TO DOBSON’S CLAIMS, THE MARRIAGE RATES IN COUNTRIES WITH LEGALLY RECOGNIZED GAY UNIONS HAVE INCREASED, NOT DECREASED.

2. Children will suffer most. “The implications for children in a world of decaying families are profound. … More than a thousand studies have concluded that kids do best when they are raised by loving and committed mothers and fathers.”
ACTUALLY, LEGITIMATE STUDIES HAVE SHOWN THAT CHILDREN WITH GAY PARENTS DEVELOPMENTLY DO AS WELL AS THOSE RAISED IN BY HETEROSEXUAL COUPLES. THE KEY IS A STABLE TWO PARENT RELATIONSHIP – SEXUAL ORIENTATION IS IRRELEVANT.

3. Public schools in every state will embrace homosexuality. “With the legalization of homosexual ‘marriage,’ every public school in the nation will be required to teach this perversion as the moral equivalent of traditional marriage between a man and a woman.”
THE REALITY IS THAT DOBSON DISLIKES ANYONE WHO IS DIFFERENT THAN HE IS. HENCE, BESIDES GAYS, HIS ORGANIZATION OPPOSES IMMIGRANTS, HISPANICS, AFFIRMATIVE ACTION, AND IS MOSTLY POPULATED BY WHITES.

4. Adoption laws will be instantly obsolete. “From the moment that homosexual ‘marriage’ becomes legal, courts will not be able to favor a traditional couple of one man and one woman in matters of adoption.”
FALSE AGAIN. MOREOVER, MANY GAYS IN FACT ADOPT CHILDREN NOT OTHERWISE EASILY PLACED – E.G., SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN AND/OR MINORITY CHILDREN. DOBSON APPARENTLY WOULD PREFER THAT CHILDREN BE SHUFFLED ENDLESSLY FROM ONE FOSTER HOME TO THE NEXT.

5. Foster-care programs will be impacted dramatically. “Foster-care parents will be required to undergo ‘sensitivity training’ to rid themselves of bias in favor of heterosexuality, and will have to affirm homosexuality in children and teens. Moral training, at least as it applies to sexuality, will be forbidden.”
SINCE ALL LEGITIMATE MEDICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH ASSOCIATIONS AGREE THAT HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT AND ILLNESS AND THAT “CURE” AND “CHANGE” PROGRAMS ARE DANGEROUS, DOBSON PREFERS THAT GAY CHILDREN AND YOUTH BE SUBJECTED TO MENTAL ABUSE AND TAUGHT SELF-HATE.

6. The health care system will stagger and perhaps collapse. “This could be the straw that breaks the back of the insurance industry in Western nations, as millions of new dependents become eligible for coverage.”
FIRST, THE CHRISTIAN RIGHT THAT GAYS ARE A VERY TINY PERCENTAGE OF THE POPULATION. SO WHAT’S THE HUGE WORRY. MOREOVER, DOBSON ACTS AS IF ALL DOMESTIC PARTNERS ARE CURRENTLY COMPLETELY UNINSURED. THE REALITY IS THAT AS WITH ANY “FAMILY” COVERAGE, THE HEALTH INSURANCE PREMIUMS WILL INCREASE IF ONE’S PARTNER IS ADDED TO COVERAGE (JUST LIKE YOU PAY A HIGHER PREMIUM ON YOUR STRAIGHT SPOUSE).

7. Social Security will be severely stressed. “Again, with millions of new eligible dependents, what will happen to the Social Security system that is already facing bankruptcy? If it does collapse, what will that mean for elderly people who must rely totally on that meager support? Who is thinking through these draconian possibilities as we careen toward ‘a brave new world’?”
EXCUSE ME. AREN’T MOST OF US ALREADY COVERED BY SOCIAL SECURITY? BESIDES, WHY SHOLD A STRAIGHT SPOUSE WHO IS PAST THE AGE OF PROCREATION GET SPECIAL RIGHTS OVER A GAY SPOUSE.

8. Religious freedom will almost certainly be jeopardized. “Canada is leading the way on this revolutionary path. I could cite dozens of examples indicating that religious freedom in that country is dying. Indeed, on April 28, 2004, the Parliament passed bill C 250, which effectively criminalized speech or writings that criticize homosexuality. Anything deemed to be ‘homophobic’ can be punished by six months in prison or by other severe penalties.”
NOT TRUE. ONLY SPEECH DEEMED TO INCITE OTHERS TO VIOLENCE.

9. Other nations are watching our march toward homosexual ‘marriage’ and will follow our lead.
“Marriage among homosexuals will spread throughout the world, just as pornography did after the Nixon Commission declared obscene material ‘beneficial’ to mankind.”
ACTUALLY, THE DEVELOPED WORLD IS AHEAD OF THE USA ON THIS POINT. MOST OF WESTERN EUROPE AND EVEN CUBA AND PARTS OF MEXICO AND SOUTH AMERICA HAVE DOMESTIC PARTNERSHIP LAWS. ACTUALLY, THE USA IS NOW LESS COMPETITIVE WITH SOME OTHER COUNTRIES WHEN IT COMES TO ATTRACTING THE BEST AND BRIGHTESS WHO MAY BE AFRAID OF THE THEOCRACY DOBSON WANTS.

10. The Gospel of Jesus Christ will be severely curtailed. “The family has been God’s primary vehicle for evangelism since the beginning. Its most important assignment has been the propagation of the human race and the handing down of the faith to our children.”

READ YOUR BIBLES. ST. PAUL AND CHRIST ACTUALLY RECOMMENDED THAT ONE NOT MARRY (PAUL ADVISED MARRIAGE ONLY FOR THOSE WHO LACKED ADEQUATE SEXUAL SELF CONTROL). MOREOVER, CONTRARY TO SOCIAL NORMS OF THE TIME, JESUS NEVER MARRIED AND HIS APOSTILES LEFT THEIR JOBS AND FAMILIES TO FOLLOW CHRIST. A BOOK I JUST READ, “THE MAN WHO JESUS LOVED” HAS A GREAT REVIEW OF HOW JESUS AND ST. PAUL WERE NOT THE PROPONENTS OF MARRIAGE AND FAM,ILY AS DOBSON CLAIMS.

Surfer Guy Eye Candy

I am a surfer (I started surfing when my son was eleven and his mother did not want him surfing). I can testify to the fact that the eye candy one sees at the beach or out in the line up waiting for waves is very nice at times.