"Boy Erased" Based on a Harrowing True Story: A Review

Today a group of us went ans saw "Boy Erased" staring Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, and Lucas Hedges which is based on a true story and, if anything, is far, far too kind to advocates of conversion therapy and the now defunct "Love in Action "ministry" that inflicted harm on so many members of the LGBT community. Also among the cast was out gay musician Troye Sivan who played the role of one of the other victims of the fraudulent conversion therapy "ministry".   The performances were extraordinary, especially that of Hedges and Kidman.  Thankfully, at the end of the movie, the end credits noted that the real life "ministry" which lacked licensed doctors or psychologist had closed its doors and the villainous leader of the "ministry" played by Joel Edgerton had in fact ultimately left the conversion therapy scam industry and married his husband after admitting that no one had ever been changed from gay to straight. 

I am very passionate about exposing the fraudulent and harmful nature of these programs which are condemned by EVERY legitimate medical and mental heal association in North America,. They do very real harm and, as "Boy Erased" shows can and do lead to needless suicides.  A friend underwent forced participation in a conversion therapy "program" that involved and exorcism and physical abuse.  Believe me, it severely harmed him emotionally and psychologically. I recommend this movie to anyone that wants to learn about the evils of these programs and wants to perhaps glimpse the emotional and psychological challenges anyone LGBT still faces in America - but especially Trump/Pence America.

If you see the movie - which I recommend readers do - and believe that these dangerous and fraudulent programs need to be outlawed, be mindful that a bill - SB 245 - in the 2018 session of the Virginia General Assembly that would have banned licensed professionals from in engaging in the "therapy" was killed by a small cabal of Republicans in the  the Virginia Senate.  The bill provided that:

Prohibits any health care provider or person who performs counseling as part of his training for any profession licensed by a regulatory board of the Department of Health Professions from engaging in conversion therapy with any person under 18 years of age. The bill defines "conversion therapy" as any practice or treatment that seeks to change an individual's sexual orientation or gender identity, including efforts to change behaviors or gender expressions or to eliminate or reduce sexual or romantic attractions or feelings toward individuals of the same gender.  . . . no state funds shall be expended for the purpose of conducting conversion therapy, referring a person for conversion therapy, extending health benefits coverage for conversion therapy, or awarding a grant or contract to any entity that conducts conversion therapy or refers individuals for conversion therapy.

These pawns of the anti-gay Christian right are State Senators Newman, Black, Carrico, Cosgrove, Dunnavant, Chase, Suetterlein, Peake.  John A. Cosgrove, Jr., is from Chesapeake and deserves  to be confronted for his anti-gay vote.  All up for reelection in 2019 and need to be targeted for defeat in November 2019..

Boy Erased: Conversion Therapy Needs to be Banned

With hatred exploding across America as demonstrated last week by attacks on blacks, pipe bomb assassination attempts and the horrible synagogue mass shooting - fanned in large part by the Trump/Republican rhetoric - it is important to challenge the lies used to justify discrimination and bigotry against others.  In the case of anti-LGBT bigotry, we are witnessing efforts by the Trump/Pence regime to erase the very existence of transgender citizens through a definition change.  We are also witnessing the Trump/Pence regime arguing to the U.S. Supreme Court that employers should be free to discriminate against and freely fire LGBT employees.  One of the justifications grasped upon by proponents of discrimination is the discredited myth that gays can "change" their sexual orientation.  On Friday, a new movie, "Boy Erased" hits the screens starring Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe that takes apart this myth and the "conversion therapy" behind it that embodies psychological and sometimes physical abuse that causes so much harm to LGBT youth in particular.  A piece in Salon looks at this must see movie.  And yes, I am passionate in my opposition to misnamed "conversion therapy."  One of my ex-boyfriends and others I have known were horribly damaged by it emotionally.  Here are article highlights:

One of the most intense, suspenseful films of the year isn't a thriller. It's something scarier — a true story. Based on Garrad Conley's riveting memoir of his teenage experience in a program for gay conversion therapy, "Boy Erased" is often exactly as harrowing as you'd expect from the director of the 2015 thriller "The Gift."

But "Boy Erased," starring Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe, is also very much a redemptive tale of the power of unconditional love. While Edgerton acknowledges that many conversion programs have "really just preyed on children, out and out abuse," he explains that "We wanted to render the film in the same way Garrard had, with an empathetic point of view." He explains, "There's a really positive message there in Garrard's parents. I thought his story was worth telling because [they] acknowledged in their own different ways that it doesn't work; that it was a mistake. They sent him there because they loved him.

Conley was sent to Love In Action, which has changed its name and discontinued its teen "Refuge" program in 2007. Despite its negative reputation, only fourteen US states currently ban conversion therapy for minors. But for evidence of how toxic the practice still is, consider Edgerson's experience with John Smid, the man his character in the film is based on. "He was kind of a distant consultant on the film if we needed information," says Edgerton. "He's now turned his back on conversion therapy. He's spoken out. He's been outspoken online. He still has faith in his life, and he's open and out as a gay man. You don't just have to abandon God if you want to lead a life of living with or being married to somebody of the same sex. John represents that now, and he also represents one of the people who speaking out against therapy." 

Edgerton notes, "The thing about John that's interesting to me is that he, deep down, knew that the therapy wasn't working. He also acknowledged to me that in his 25 years, of starting as a client… he was making it up as he went along, and knowing all the while it wasn't even working for himself. I found it interesting to play. It's also important to acknowledge that you have people calling themselves therapists and doctors who really don't have the right or the qualification to do that. And that's one of the keys to what I think is very shammy about it."

When I read Garrard's book, it just really emotionally grabbed me, and I found myself thinking about it daily. I started doing things on a regular daily basis towards pushing the idea of turning it into a movie — meeting Garrard, meeting with survivors of conversion therapy. Because for all of the despair you go through, or characters go through; for all the chaos and confusion; ultimately that story — his story — has a positive outcome." And, as it raises awareness of the continuing practice of conversion therapy, he says he hopes Garrard Conley's story also has "the potential to help other people in a positive way."

With its depiction of "therapy" techniques designed to make boys behave in a more "manly" manner, "Boy Erased" reveals the painful toll that macho culture takes on boys and men. . . . Edgerton says, "I think one of the myths about masculinity is that you're not allowed to show your sensitivity. It's a big problem, the stereotype of the silent father that doesn't express his emotions. As a young man, I saw strength as silence and stoicism and only speaking when it was necessary, not talking about emotion. And that weakness was the opposite. Weakness was being open about having an essay of words to describe what was going on for you internally. I realized at too late an age that those definitions should be flipped; that strength should be expression, and that weakness should be limiting one's expression." He adds, "I think that Garrard's mother is that strength. She is somebody who was able to tune in internally to what was going on with her; get in touch with her instincts. She said, 'I'm no longer going to be pushed around by the masculine ideas in my neighborhood, under my roof, or in the community.' She faces this wall of judgment and her own kind of persecution. But her weapon is love, and her weapon is expression of truth." Edgerton adds, "It kind of goes to show you that sensitivity — whether it lives in a man or a woman — I think is strength."

Be assured that I WILL see this movie this weekend if it is showing in this area.

Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe to Star in Expose on Conversion Therapy "Ministries"

One of the biggest lies - although, there are so many lies, that ranking can be challenging - disseminated by Christofascists and many evangelical Christians is that sexual orientation is a "choice" and that gays can "change" and become heterosexual.  As noted in a number of previous posts, there are several reasons for the insistence that sexual orientation is a choice: (i) if being gay is not a choice and is "how God made" some of us, then questions arise as to what other aspects of evangelical Christian dogma is untrue; (ii) the choice myth is employed repeatedly to argue that LGBT citizens need no non-discrimination protections, and (iii) so-called conversion therapy "ministries" are cash cows with families often paying small fortunes to "change" their children.  Every legitimate medical and mental health association in America condemns conversion therapy and states that it doesn't work and is dangerous. Indeed, a growing number of states ban the practice on minors by licensed therapist.  The result is more fraudulent, dangerous and damaging "Christian ministries" peddling the ex-gay myth.   Now, as Rolling Stone reports a new movie, Boy Erased, starring Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman will be released in November, 2018 (a trailer can be found here). The movie is based on a 2016 book of the same name and will likely paint a very negative picture of the frauds and harm being committed by these "ministries."  This from Rolling Stone:

Boy Erased stars Hedges as Garrard, while Kidman plays his mother and Crowe his father, who also happens to be a Baptist pastor. The trailer offers a glimpse into the psychological and sometimes physical abuse such conversion programs inflict on those forced to attend. . . . The film is based on Garrard Conley’s 2016 memoir of the same name about his experience at a gay conversion therapy program, which he attended at 19 at the behest of his religious parents.

A piece in the Washington Post looked at the book upon which the movie is based.  Here are highlights:

In 2004, when Garrard Conley was 19, he entered a Christian fundamentalist program, Love in Action, to cleanse himself of homosexuality. 

Conley, the only child of his devoutly Baptist parents in small-town Arkansas, had been dramatically outed by a fellow student during his first semester at a small liberal arts college. The timing couldn’t have been worse. His decision to enter the fundamentalist group (known as LIA) came as his father was becoming an ordained Baptist minister.

 [A]although he paints a convincing picture of why the foundation of his loving parents’ religious faith made his fight against homosexuality vital, he leaves the reader wondering why an erudite and intellectually curious young man didn’t find more cracks in that foundation. He does find cracks in the foundation of LIA, which uses a warped version of a 12-step program that replaces addictive behavior such as alcoholism with “sexual deviance,” lumping homosexuality with bestiality and pedophilia. Conley’s close relationship with his mother, who sits vigil with him in a depressing hotel room as he tries to weather the ordeal of LIA, is a tender portrait of that special bond so many gay men and their mothers have: “For the moment, it seemed like the two of us could go on this way forever, living only for literature and each other.” As for Conley’s father, he remains abstruse, despite Conley’s explorations of his abusive childhood. Ultimately their paths diverge. His father is ordained, and Conley rejects LIA.

“God’s voice is no longer there,” Conley writes. “My ex-gay therapists took Him away from me, and no matter how many different churches I attend, I will feel the same dead weight in my chest.” God erased. Let’s hope that the parents still reading “Where Does a Mother Go to Resign?” start reading “Boy Erased” instead.

Parents contemplating placing their child in one of these "ministries" or listening to they false propaganda would be better served - if they truly love their child and are not more focused on themselves and "what will people think" - to find a new religious denomination.  One that is not homophobic and obsessed with selectively cherry picking phrases from the Old Testament to malign and denigrate others.

For the record, I was never placed in a "ex-gay ministry" although I tried more or less for 37 years to pray away the gay and tried some of the conversion therapy gimmicks.  None of it worked.  All I experience was self-hate and psychological and emotional harm that ultimately lead to two serious suicide attempts.  The propaganda that these ministries peddle is very, very dangerous.

Kudos to Kidman and Crowe for taking these roles and hopefully exposing the "change myth" lie.