Boy Erased: Conversion Therapy Needs to be Banned

With hatred exploding across America as demonstrated last week by attacks on blacks, pipe bomb assassination attempts and the horrible synagogue mass shooting - fanned in large part by the Trump/Republican rhetoric - it is important to challenge the lies used to justify discrimination and bigotry against others.  In the case of anti-LGBT bigotry, we are witnessing efforts by the Trump/Pence regime to erase the very existence of transgender citizens through a definition change.  We are also witnessing the Trump/Pence regime arguing to the U.S. Supreme Court that employers should be free to discriminate against and freely fire LGBT employees.  One of the justifications grasped upon by proponents of discrimination is the discredited myth that gays can "change" their sexual orientation.  On Friday, a new movie, "Boy Erased" hits the screens starring Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe that takes apart this myth and the "conversion therapy" behind it that embodies psychological and sometimes physical abuse that causes so much harm to LGBT youth in particular.  A piece in Salon looks at this must see movie.  And yes, I am passionate in my opposition to misnamed "conversion therapy."  One of my ex-boyfriends and others I have known were horribly damaged by it emotionally.  Here are article highlights:

One of the most intense, suspenseful films of the year isn't a thriller. It's something scarier — a true story. Based on Garrad Conley's riveting memoir of his teenage experience in a program for gay conversion therapy, "Boy Erased" is often exactly as harrowing as you'd expect from the director of the 2015 thriller "The Gift."

But "Boy Erased," starring Lucas Hedges, Nicole Kidman and Russell Crowe, is also very much a redemptive tale of the power of unconditional love. While Edgerton acknowledges that many conversion programs have "really just preyed on children, out and out abuse," he explains that "We wanted to render the film in the same way Garrard had, with an empathetic point of view." He explains, "There's a really positive message there in Garrard's parents. I thought his story was worth telling because [they] acknowledged in their own different ways that it doesn't work; that it was a mistake. They sent him there because they loved him.

Conley was sent to Love In Action, which has changed its name and discontinued its teen "Refuge" program in 2007. Despite its negative reputation, only fourteen US states currently ban conversion therapy for minors. But for evidence of how toxic the practice still is, consider Edgerson's experience with John Smid, the man his character in the film is based on. "He was kind of a distant consultant on the film if we needed information," says Edgerton. "He's now turned his back on conversion therapy. He's spoken out. He's been outspoken online. He still has faith in his life, and he's open and out as a gay man. You don't just have to abandon God if you want to lead a life of living with or being married to somebody of the same sex. John represents that now, and he also represents one of the people who speaking out against therapy." 

Edgerton notes, "The thing about John that's interesting to me is that he, deep down, knew that the therapy wasn't working. He also acknowledged to me that in his 25 years, of starting as a client… he was making it up as he went along, and knowing all the while it wasn't even working for himself. I found it interesting to play. It's also important to acknowledge that you have people calling themselves therapists and doctors who really don't have the right or the qualification to do that. And that's one of the keys to what I think is very shammy about it."

When I read Garrard's book, it just really emotionally grabbed me, and I found myself thinking about it daily. I started doing things on a regular daily basis towards pushing the idea of turning it into a movie — meeting Garrard, meeting with survivors of conversion therapy. Because for all of the despair you go through, or characters go through; for all the chaos and confusion; ultimately that story — his story — has a positive outcome." And, as it raises awareness of the continuing practice of conversion therapy, he says he hopes Garrard Conley's story also has "the potential to help other people in a positive way."

With its depiction of "therapy" techniques designed to make boys behave in a more "manly" manner, "Boy Erased" reveals the painful toll that macho culture takes on boys and men. . . . Edgerton says, "I think one of the myths about masculinity is that you're not allowed to show your sensitivity. It's a big problem, the stereotype of the silent father that doesn't express his emotions. As a young man, I saw strength as silence and stoicism and only speaking when it was necessary, not talking about emotion. And that weakness was the opposite. Weakness was being open about having an essay of words to describe what was going on for you internally. I realized at too late an age that those definitions should be flipped; that strength should be expression, and that weakness should be limiting one's expression." He adds, "I think that Garrard's mother is that strength. She is somebody who was able to tune in internally to what was going on with her; get in touch with her instincts. She said, 'I'm no longer going to be pushed around by the masculine ideas in my neighborhood, under my roof, or in the community.' She faces this wall of judgment and her own kind of persecution. But her weapon is love, and her weapon is expression of truth." Edgerton adds, "It kind of goes to show you that sensitivity — whether it lives in a man or a woman — I think is strength."

Be assured that I WILL see this movie this weekend if it is showing in this area.