Sunday, April 07, 2013

For Many Younger Gays Parental Abuse remains a Serious Problem

As has been noted before a number of times on this blog, it is estimated that roughly 40 % of homeless teens are LGBT teens many of who have either been thrown out of their homes by their "godly Christian" parents or who have fled abusive family settings where their sexual orientation has made them targets of parental physical abuse.   Like almost all anti-gay hate and violence, what these LGBT youths experience tracks directly to toxic religious belief based ultimately on uneducated ignorance perpetuated by a slavish deference to a literal reading of the Bible, a book of in many cases myths increasingly shown to be inconsistent with accurate history and modern scientific knowledge.  Yet (in my view) cretinous parents continue to reject and/or abuse their own children because of these ignorant writings.  A piece in This Week looks at the horrors still endured by far too many of our LGBT youth.  Here are highlights:

If you're gay, it's hard not to feel optimistic these days. We're a small part of the population, but a solid majority of Americans and much of the political elite is on our side and wants to guarantee our political equality under the law. I was reminded early this morning that despite the amazing progress, life for some of my younger gay friends is, and will remain, quite hard.

I don't mean, or just mean, gay kids who are bullied in schools. That problem has the attention of educators and activists.

I mean this: You're 17, 18, 19 years old. Your family kicks you out. Maybe your father abuses you. You have no money. You have no place to go. You don't live in a city with a vibrant supportive gay community. Or you don't live in a state with a strong domestic/adult dependent abuse safety net.

Last month, in a fit of drunken rage, his father, who is much, much larger than he is, threw a large metal pan at C.____. It missed his torso, but it clipped his knee, tearing a ligament.

This was light punishment. Because he is gay, C.____ has been punched and kicked by his father. His mother is under the sway of his father, and so does not, or cannot help him.  C.____ has no money. He needs to get out of his house. 

This is not a unique story. Since moving to Los Angeles, I've met a lot of younger gay men who have been kicked out of abusive households. The most heartbreaking of the stories was told to me by a talented young clothing designer. Upon learning he was gay, he was severely beaten, given $500, driven to the airport, had a one-way plane ticket bought in his name, and was abandoned.
1980?  No: 2007.  He was 16. 

I don't know how to help these young men. It does seem to me that they're slipping through the safety net that the gay community is building for its most vulnerable.

Political rights are critical. But social equality is probably more meaningful. Parents who abuse children are abominable. But parents of gay children can get away with it more, because there's a stigma, because everyone just wants the problem to go away, because we still lack the guts to challenge some of our brother's darker secrets.

These mothers and fathers still think in such bizarre, incomprehensible ways. Nothing will change until it becomes shameful not to treat your gay child with respect and decency.

Fundamentalist religion of all stripes is a toxic poison that truly needs to be eradicated from the earth.  Its principle fruits are hate, bigotry, violence against others and the embrace of ignorance and bigotry.  It is evil and when I encounter these "godly Christian" types, I am sorry, by I can only see them as a force for evil in the world.  Evil, and of course, rank hypocrisy.  These people deserve neither respect nor deference of any kind.


1 comment:

Tempest Nightingale LeTrope said...

And to think they purport to believe in a Messiah who taught kindness and tolerance. If Jesus were to come back, they would treat him with the same hatred and ignorance as they treat everyone else.